Sabotours in your life.
mirandaeaston
Posts: 25
We all have them people who are happy for your success then seem to plot agains you. Sometimes you live with thembsomething it work or freinds. This week I am happy to share that that my sabotour that I'm married to who we agreed to no junk food at hime bought a whole cake and icecream home. WTF I did not have any and I sent it to work with him to share there and I think after the fit I made about it I hope it is the last time. But I told him that it not fair to be happy that his wife is looseing weight but then try and derail it we are not all lucky to eat what they want and be skinny. How have you overcome the sabotours and what do you say.
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I have a husband just like yours! Good for you for standing your ground w/him & the cake!0
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Realistically, you're only sabotaged IF you were given something to eat and lied about what it was. If you KNOW what it is, it isn't sabotage, it's giving into temptations. So in cases where people bring food around that you like, they are tempting and taunting you.We all have them people who are happy for your success then seem to plot agains you. Sometimes you live with thembsomething it work or freinds. This week I am happy to share that that my sabotour that I'm married to who we agreed to no junk food at hime bought a whole cake and icecream home. WTF I did not have any and I sent it to work with him to share there and I think after the fit I made about it I hope it is the last time. But I told him that it not fair to be happy that his wife is looseing weight but then try and derail it we are not all lucky to eat what they want and be skinny. How have you overcome the sabotours and what do you say.
I hear this from clients and tell them it's life. No one really needs to change for you. You need to do it for yourself. Don't depend on others to complete this trip with you. If they do support, that's just a bonus.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
If you both agreed to no junk food; then you should both stick to it.
That being said. I think it's a short term win but a long term you are sabotaging yourself. The reality of life is that there's junk food EVERYWHERE. I think part of your new life has to be the practice of regularly saying no to the foods and activities that impede you from your goal.
My wife is a junk food fanatic as well. But she's has always eaten better and has been more active than I have been. So I don't ask her to hide the junk food. I love her. Why would I deny her her little rewards?
Learning how to say no to certain food in the house has made it easier to say no to junk food when I'm out with friends.0 -
I see my lifestyle change as MY CHOICE. It is not inflicted on everyone who is around me. I CHOOSE what I eat and don't eat. I make the choices and it is my responsibility to stay the course even though people around me may not choose the eating and exercise lifestyle that I have adopted. I live in a world where there will be cake, donuts, and all sorts of unhealthy stuff. Just because it is there does not mean I need to eat it. The world does not revolve around me because I am in diet and exercise mode. We all have to learn self control and personal responsibility. Just because you can not have cake does not mean everyone around you has to give it up too. To expect their behavior to change due to your lifestyle choice is a bit unrealistic, and you will be in situations with tempting foods at all times in the real world. You might as well look at this as an opportunity to exercise self control and cut your husband / coworkers or anyone else who is "plotting" against your efforts a little slack. They are just trying to enjoy themselves. I really do not think it is anything personal.0
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The only person who can sabotage you is YOU. It's not fair of you to expect him to give up everything because you feel you have to give up things.0
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Be strong and refuse to eat it. He will stop bringing it after couple of times.0
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*Saboteurs
This is all I have to add to this thread.0 -
Maybe he agreed reluctantly? You should talk to him and see how he really feels. The bottom line is that we are all responsible for what we put into our own mouths. It's hard to have tempting things in the house and you can express that to him but holding his feet to the fire may be making him rebel.0
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I think that when at home It should be a safe zone. If I have to go to the store and buy something that that takes alot less willpower to stop myself . I hope someday it will not matter but right now it will make a differance. I don't feel like I'm asking for the world to change just my 1200 sqft area. That somehow his life will be harmed by not having this kind of food around the house is silly. If I was giving up drinking , drugs or smoking no one would think I should just deal with it being around as a willpower training.0
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In reality if this is to be a forever thing you have to makeit a lifestyle choice not just a diet. You have to be real about all of this. Life isnt going to make a wide berth around you with all the bad foods and things you shouldnt touch. Its your CHOICE whether you decide to partake in the forbidden foods or not. But also don't be so hard on yourself. If you don't allow yourself to once in a while partake or some call it cheat... you will not be able to keep this up long term. Ihave been at this now 7 months. I have lost almost 60 lbs. I have done this using nothing but good hard work, will power and when it gets way way to tough to say no .. giving in! Because I knowif I don't then I am going to substitute something else later that may be worse! I have been REAL about this in... I am not ever going to be the girl that doesnt enjoy a cheeseburger or gosh forbid a piece of birthday cake its what I do after that food choice that counts. And forcing everyone around you to make the changes you are is just as unfair as them bringing that food around you in my opinion. No one *****foots around me I don't allow them too. Its not in my best interest for long term weight loss. Because eventually I have to learn how to maintain this new lifestyle so I don't gain it back. Willpower is the key!0
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I do agree that we are all responsible for the things we eat, however, I think it's important to acknowledge just how addictive junk food can be. One really important thing partners can do to support their loved ones achieve a healthier lifestyle is by NOT bringing those things into the house. I've also asked my partner to not bring home junk food, and it has made a huge difference to me. If you guys agreed to no junk food at home, then for sure he should not have brought it.
For me, sugar is massively tempting. Every week at my parent's family dinner, there is a big pie for dessert. It's taken me months and months to learn how to say no to it. Frustratingly, now that I don't eat the pie, my dad has taken to buying me a different, "special" dessert every week- just for me. I don't think he's trying to sabotage me, he just doesn't get it. I've told him how much I appreciate him thinking of me, but tell him I can't eat it, and have asked him that it would be better if he didn't bother. And I don't eat it. Hopefully he will get my drift soon. At times it has stressed me out so much I don't even want to go over there.
I know we can't expect people to change just because we are, but I also know how crucial to my success not having sugar in the house is. I would tell him how important it is to you to be able to have home be a place that is free of those temptations. Maybe if he sees what kind of difference it makes to you he will be more willing to help you out. Good luck
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I think that when at home It should be a safe zone. If I have to go to the store and buy something that that takes alot less willpower to stop myself . I hope someday it will not matter but right now it will make a differance. I don't feel like I'm asking for the world to change just my 1200 sqft area. That somehow his life will be harmed by not having this kind of food around the house is silly. If I was giving up drinking , drugs or smoking no one would think I should just deal with it being around as a willpower training.
I agree. I could have written this. It makes such a huge difference, especially at the beginning. Hopefully he will understand eventually.0 -
It's not sabotage it's about people eating what they want to. I would never expect my husband to eat the same as me just because I need to lose weight. We eat the same meals (portions differ of course) but he does have chocolate etc in the house but I don't have a problem with it. If he tried to encourage me to eat the same as him that would be a very different story. You can be supportive without depriving yourself of things you want to eat
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I lost over 140lbs over a year and people have not been nice at all. My co workers have done everything from get on mfp and pull my pics and make fake profiles . They taunt me at work saying I had weight loss surgery and get lipo on my days off. I just started a new profile that doesn't show my weight loss because I just cant take it anymore. I had guys on there asking for my fat pics. Sending me all kinda freaky messages. Im a single mother. My kids are very supportive. Im not tempted by junk foods because I know food is not the enemy its our thoughts surrounding it. One thing I have learned about extreme weight loss is it has nothing to do with food. 0
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Ps - temptation is everywhere you go ... Work, shops, parties, family get togethers, street markets .....0
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It's annoying when my husband brings home awesome goodies that I want to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but with practice I have learned to scale back my portions or ignore its presence in the fridge.
I will say that what works for both if us is to plan ahead and run it by each other. I can fit ice cream into my day, but not if he randomly buys it at 11pm. And we usually buy pints and make them last. Just don't look at my diary from Friday night LOL0 -
I lost over 140lbs over a year and people have not been nice at all. My co workers have done everything from get on mfp and pull my pics and make fake profiles . They taunt me at work saying I had weight loss surgery and get lipo on my days off. I just started a new profile that doesn't show my weight loss because I just cant take it anymore. I had guys on there asking for my fat pics. Sending me all kinda freaky messages. Im a single mother. My kids are very supportive. Im not tempted by junk foods because I know food is not the enemy its our thoughts surrounding it. One thing I have learned about extreme weight loss is it has nothing to do with food.
Oh wow. That is some toxic work environment!0 -
That is terrible! They must be so jealous that you've one so well. I can't imagine how I'd feel if my work colleagues treated me so badly ... It would never in my company ... I hope it gets better for you xx0
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The only sabotour in my life is me.0
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I used to get mad when these things I did not want in my diary would find their way home. I think after so long its made me stronger and I don't even get tempted anymore. I buy the things I would rather have and found lighter substitutes for me to have. I realized I can't help those who won't help themselves you got to want it!!!! And I do 0
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I seem to be the biggest saboteur in my own life. I get to a certain point in my progress and then blow it.0
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I hate to break it to you, but that's not sabotage. 1. you didn't eat it, which means you have gained self control, which means if he wants junk food around the house you CAN say no and just don't eat it. 2. you can't control other peoples lives forever, maybe he's fine with a little bit of time without junk food but he wants it and even if he shouldn't have it like if he too is overweight then you still cant stop him. 3. maybe he was happy for you and decided you needed to lighten up a little bit and celebrate with a little piece of cake. 4. you CAN eat what you want and lose weight, you just can't eat as much of everything as you want probably, but a piece of cake, probably 300 calories or less if you cut it the right size, I'm sure you can fit that into your diary without going over calories.
Basically, there will always be temptations at home, at work, at resturants, are you really never going to eat those foods again? no, you will, so it's better in my oppinion to have them around and learn moderation and self control then to keep them away like they're posion because if you do that the cravings will esclate so much you will probably binge on those foods and gain some weight0 -
I lost over 140lbs over a year and people have not been nice at all. My co workers have done everything from get on mfp and pull my pics and make fake profiles . They taunt me at work saying I had weight loss surgery and get lipo on my days off. I just started a new profile that doesn't show my weight loss because I just cant take it anymore. I had guys on there asking for my fat pics. Sending me all kinda freaky messages. Im a single mother. My kids are very supportive. Im not tempted by junk foods because I know food is not the enemy its our thoughts surrounding it. One thing I have learned about extreme weight loss is it has nothing to do with food.
Wow Lynn, I can't even imagine working with people who are so insensitive and cruel. Congratulations on your weight loss and I am so happy your kids are so supportive.0 -
bump0
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Disagree. It's not about harm, it's the insistence that what he enjoys eating should be voided. My wife loves coffee. I hate the smell of it. Guess what? I deal with it because it's not gonna kill me. A little inconvenience yes, but not enough to try to force her to go outside and make coffee.I think that when at home It should be a safe zone. If I have to go to the store and buy something that that takes alot less willpower to stop myself . I hope someday it will not matter but right now it will make a differance. I don't feel like I'm asking for the world to change just my 1200 sqft area. That somehow his life will be harmed by not having this kind of food around the house is silly. If I was giving up drinking , drugs or smoking no one would think I should just deal with it being around as a willpower training.
As for drugs, alcohol, and smoking, you can't compare addictive harmful behaviors to succumbing to eating some junk food. Sorry, but that's a stretch.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I disagree. Addicts to drugs,alcohol, gambling, etc. would sacrifice family and even kill to meet their addictions. I truly doubt people kill or steal from their families for some sugar.I do agree that we are all responsible for the things we eat, however, I think it's important to acknowledge just how addictive junk food can be. One really important thing partners can do to support their loved ones achieve a healthier lifestyle is by NOT bringing those things into the house. I've also asked my partner to not bring home junk food, and it has made a huge difference to me. If you guys agreed to no junk food at home, then for sure he should not have brought it.
For me, sugar is massively tempting. Every week at my parent's family dinner, there is a big pie for dessert. It's taken me months and months to learn how to say no to it. Frustratingly, now that I don't eat the pie, my dad has taken to buying me a different, "special" dessert every week- just for me. I don't think he's trying to sabotage me, he just doesn't get it. I've told him how much I appreciate him thinking of me, but tell him I can't eat it, and have asked him that it would be better if he didn't bother. And I don't eat it. Hopefully he will get my drift soon. At times it has stressed me out so much I don't even want to go over there.
I know we can't expect people to change just because we are, but I also know how crucial to my success not having sugar in the house is. I would tell him how important it is to you to be able to have home be a place that is free of those temptations. Maybe if he sees what kind of difference it makes to you he will be more willing to help you out. Good luck
Tell an addict that will totally be their demise and kill them, and they still would do what it took get their "fix". If you were told the next intake of sugar would kill you (literally), I'm more than sure you wouldn't eat it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
My fiancé invited her sister over yesterday. I came home from a 3 mile walk to find them watching a DVD scoffing m&ms, Pringles, coca cola and a lot more. I didn't have any. I didn't want any. I wouldn't want to stop her eating what she wants just because of my new lifestyle.0
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Deleted because someone did it for me!
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I didn't even need to do what I just did, LOL!0
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