"You weight what? Girl, I'd kill to be that weight!"

st0dad
st0dad Posts: 23
in Motivation and Support
Has anyone else come across this? You make mention of your weight and how it's upsetting you, and all you get is "I wish I could be that weight" as a subtle hint to STFU?

I gained 10lbs and it REALLY upset me. I posted on my facebook "I'm up to 157. I don't know what happened." and here are some of the responses:

"157 lbs??? Girl, I am 250 lbs. I am fat. You are not."
"I'd sell my soul to the devil to be 157 pounds."
"Seriously. I'd love to be at that weight too, but everyone is right."
"Omg that's not fat."
"hey while your busy feeling fat just remember that out there is a fat black chic that would kill to only weigh that much."
"If I cut off one of my legs, I might weigh 157. Probably not though"

Has anyone else come across this, and how do you react to it? What is the best solution? Is it really better just to shut up about weight issues?
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Replies

  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    the best response is none.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I would not complain about weight in a public way like that for that very reason. Find a thin girlfriend to ***** to, they'll be less likely to be upset by it
  • taimih
    taimih Posts: 14
    Don't post stuff like that on Facebook for the world to see if you don't want to hear the responses.
  • cruzcrzyMarie
    cruzcrzyMarie Posts: 251 Member
    I would not complain about weight in a public way like that for that very reason. Find a thin girlfriend to ***** to, they'll be less likely to be upset by it

    THIS
  • Adirafox
    Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
    I never tell anyone my weight, because I'm vain like that, but I get you.

    My problem was the women I worked with (thank goodness, no longer!!!!!....though I'm sure I'll meet some doozies at the new job) who were in better shape than me and thinner than me who would go on these strange diets every week and then gorge and then tell me I didn't need to eat so healthy (after seeing my lunch).

    It made me feel weird, because if these thin, fit women were doing these drastic measures to lose weight (raspberry ketones, the military diet??), then damn, I must be doing something wrong!! Also, it made me feel like they were trying to sabotage me and my desire to be healthy, possibly in order to feel better about themselves (since I am heavier than they are).

    I just think that EVERYONE is insecure, and we all just need to keep our eyes on our own lane.
  • Adirafox
    Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
    I would not complain about weight in a public way like that for that very reason. Find a thin girlfriend to ***** to, they'll be less likely to be upset by it

    Thin women are often worse, IME.
  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
    They may be attempting to be comforting.
  • Adirafox
    Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
    the best response is none.

    Word. Just remember, this is YOUR journey.
  • agdyl
    agdyl Posts: 246 Member
    Don't complain about it if you don't want to hear people tell you how they are worse off than you are. It's human nature. And they are probably trying to make you feel better about it, whether it worked or not.
  • mitzvahmom78
    mitzvahmom78 Posts: 64 Member
    I think you're smart to notice your weight gain and do something about it while it's small. If I had gotten serious when I was 20 pounds above my ideal weight, I would never have gotten to be 100 pounds overweight. I think the issue is that you need to choose your audience carefully. You won't get much sympathy from people who are heavier than you. I'm sure you can find friends on MFP who are in a situation similar to yours. Good luck!
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    I have posted how much I weigh, but NEVER to the point of saying, "I'm fat." Doing so for me personally would set up a serious downfall.
  • mousemom18
    mousemom18 Posts: 172 Member
    That's what THIS place is for. Post that stuff here and you'll find support and understanding. Facebook is the wrong place to post specific numbers. Or just "I gained ten pounds and I'm really disappointed in myself. ". And leave it at that
  • Ann_Marie_2x_MORE
    Ann_Marie_2x_MORE Posts: 68 Member
    Everything is relative. 10lbs to you is a big deal, 100 lbs to me is a big deal. While they may not be supportive of your goals - you have to understand that your goals aren't there's and vice versa.

    Being complacent about any type of gain is what got me to 130 lb heavier than I want to be. So - be upset with yourself for the 10 lb gain, and get on track to lose it :)
  • lilac67
    lilac67 Posts: 311
    I get what you mean, but it can be like complaining to a guy in a body cast that you leg hurts, lol. Thanks for posting how this makes you feel. I'm sure we can all learn from this.
  • l_clc
    l_clc Posts: 126 Member
    It sounds to me like they were just trying to make you feel better and comfort you. It's already been said but if hearing specific responses to sensitive issues for you will bring you down then just keep it between you and a few close friends that will give you the support and words you need to hear.
  • toscarthearmada
    toscarthearmada Posts: 382 Member
    For the past 16 months I've worked nonstop to become 160 lbs. I can understand why people would say that. You're worried about 10 pounds when some of us are struggling with 100+. I've never been 157 pounds...

    Be optimistic and positive about what you have. It could always be worse.
  • itsscottwilder
    itsscottwilder Posts: 317
    I think I filter what I put on Facebook in regards to weight loss. I will post things like improvements to my diet. I'll post sarcastic pictures of my daily salad because anyone who knows me knows that I hate salad. Or my fitness routines. Because I want my family and friends to know that I'm getting healthy.

    But in an era where obesity is the norm. Talking about weight can get a little dangerous. So I've been avoiding my actual weight.

    BTW. I think for the people who say "I would kill to be your weight"; that it's fair to reply "What's stopping you?"
  • cappri
    cappri Posts: 1,089 Member
    Posting your weight like that is just begging for the exact responses you got. Did you really want everyone on your friends list to agree that yes you look huge now and should certainly do something about those 10 pounds? I'm pretty sure you did not want those responses either.
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
    To me, Facebook is standing on your chair in the middle of a crowd and announcing something. I find it bizarre that people want to say things - about religion, politics, personal issues, etc - that they'd never say to those people face-to-face at a party.

    Would you have complained about your weight to those people face-to-face? My guess is likely no.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Well...I am getting that now too. I ate too much on vacation and said I was feeling like a fattie and my mother gets very upset with me when I say that around her. But most of my friends are my size or smaller so they don't respond that way when I complain about my weight. They just understand and know that losing weight is hard as a lot of them have been there themselves. *shrug*
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    People may be more sympathetic to a post saying you are upset you gained 10 lbs with out putting in how much you weigh. Most people sympathize with being in happy you put on weight.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    Posting your weight like that is just begging for the exact responses you got. Did you really want everyone on your friends list to agree that yes you look huge now and should certainly do something about those 10 pounds? I'm pretty sure you did not want those responses either.

    Yeah, I have to agree. I don't really think there is any "right" response anyone could have given.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Don't post stuff like that on Facebook for the world to see if you don't want to hear the responses.

    This. I cringe when people put personal crap on FB. Are you new to the internets? Of course a 250 friend is going to envy your weight. What on earth are you complaining about? If you're unhappy with your weight, do something about it other than complaining on FB and then complaining about the responses. All that energy could have gone into a great run.
  • crzyone
    crzyone Posts: 872 Member
    As an obese person, who HAS said things like that, it IS an attempt to comfort you, to tell you that to me and to many others, you do not look bad, that we don't see you as fat. It is, also, true!!!! As an obese person, I would kill to weight your 157 pounds. It is not a put down. It is not a criticism. It is true. It is sad, but true. However, how YOU feel and see yourself is what is important and NOT what I think/fee/see, soI am trying to learn to be more sympathetic to people, no matter their size, and am learning that they/you have the right to feel dissatisfied with your weight and health, too. I never meant any comments like that to be rude or offensive, and most of the people saying it to you probably never meant it that way either. Sometimes humans just feel like they have to say something when silence would have been better........
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    People may be more sympathetic to a post saying you are upset you gained 10 lbs with out putting in how much you weigh. Most people sympathize with being in happy you put on weight.

    Yep.

    Personally, I wouldn't put that sort of thing on Facebook, for this exact reason. If I absolutely had to, I'd probably just say that I've gained weight recently and am unhappy with it. As Morninglory said, they'd no doubt sympathise with that more.
  • AJinBirmingham
    AJinBirmingham Posts: 497
    SPIN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP!!!!!!!!! For example:

    HER: Girl, I'd kill to be that weight!

    YOU: Really? Then I have fantastic news . . . no one has to die, and police involvement is unlikely. All you have to do is eat less and move more. Have you tried MFP?
  • silken555
    silken555 Posts: 478 Member
    I post my weight and measurements weekly on FB...it's about the only really 'personal' thing I post. The reason I post it is because I've been told how encouraging and inspiring it is.

    I don't post that I am fat or anything like that...I simply post the numbers, talk about how my journey played out that week and then post the totals.

    I have yet to get any kind of negative response.

    I keep wondering if I have abnormal friends or something because this negative stuff just hasn't happened to me. From family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances all I get is overwhelming support.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Here are some good replies, not yelling... just caps to set them off as answers. Seriously don't yell at people, that would be mean, just say the following in the most quiet and sweet restrained intellectual tone.

    "157 lbs??? Girl, I am 250 lbs. I am fat. You are not."
    THAT'S TRUE.

    "I'd sell my soul to the devil to be 157 pounds."
    WHAT WOULD YOU SELL ME? CAUSE I CAN GET YOU THERE. *giggity*

    "Seriously. I'd love to be at that weight too, but everyone is right."
    NOT REALLY, ONLY ME, CAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S 157.

    "Omg that's not fat."
    OMG, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

    "hey while your busy feeling fat just remember that out there is a fat black chic that would kill to only weigh that much."
    HEY WHILE YOUR BUSY BEING RACIST JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE FAT TOO.

    "If I cut off one of my legs, I might weigh 157. Probably not though"
    THEN CUT OFF BOTH. GO BIG OR GO HOME, THAT'S WHAT MY TRAINER ALWAYS SAYS.
  • trisha671
    trisha671 Posts: 28
    I have been through this time & time again. Unfortunately for them they are that weight bc they've never recognized that there was an issue at 157lbs. There's nothing wrong for wanting more for yourself physically. Keep doing what your doing & pay them no mind.
  • louisegibbs85
    louisegibbs85 Posts: 304 Member
    I have to say I'm guilty of this, I've sat with a friend who complained she had 8lb to lose when I myself had about 90 and hadn't weighed as little as her since I was about15 lol .... I didnt voice my opinion tho, I just got of my *kitten* ... started exercising, eating healthy and concentrated on my own body issues rather than someone else's. I'm now 66lb down whilst my friend is gaining more because just sitting complaining about 8lb doesn't get rid of it!

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