Eloping?

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  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I did it! I never liked the drama of weddings (that I didn't have to plan), and my parents hate each other. We went to the French Alps for a week, the south of France for a week, and Paris for a week.
  • PunkinSpice79
    PunkinSpice79 Posts: 309 Member
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    a wedding doesn't have to include all the things you mention - caterer, venue, etc. I eloped the first time. Turned out my family was right - he was a LOSER. The second (final) time, I threw together a wedding in 3 weeks. I bought a pretty dress, ordered some flowers, made my own invitations and the hubby and I married in a public park with 11 of our closest friends and family and then we took them out to our favorite restaurant for the reception dinner. (Cost was less than $1000) No gifts, no registries, no seating charts, etc... It's not an either/or proposition. Change your definition of what a wedding is and what it is about and you won't have to decide between a "big" wedding and an elopement.
  • Aquabird
    Aquabird Posts: 38 Member
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    We were originally planning a big wedding, but our families were starting to take over everything. This was compounded by the fact that we are from opposite sides of the country, so everyone expected the wedding in their back yard. I was miserable because I couldn't make everyone happy. I finally gave up and told everyone J and I were just going to go do the courthouse thing. My mom freaked and said we would always regret it.

    That night, I was sobbing on my husband when a Carnival Cruise commercial showing a happy wedding couple on the beach came on TV. J said, "Let's do that--we'll just elope." Best choice we ever made (I wish I could bold that). We did all the planning without input from our family and friends--planning our dream wedding. I found a great coordinator down in the Caribbean and just told her what I wanted, sent, pictures, etc. and she did everything. I had all the fun, but no stress! Plus, it was super cheap to have my dream.

    When I had finished planning, we told everyone else that we were eloping and it was all planned and paid for. They had another uproar, so I told them: "This is what we are doing. You are welcome to be there, but you don't have to come if you don't approve." A bunch wanted to come so I contacted our cruise agent and asked about getting a group booking. She set it up, and I passed on the info, not caring if anyone came or not. We had about 20 people come on the cruise with us. A few (my dad) grumbled the first day, but after that, it was a blast. We have been married for 7 years, and people still say it was the best wedding they have ever been to (around here, weddings are usually a church/ballroom thing--which gets really old). I am so glad we decided to just do our own thing, and don't regret it for a moment!
  • Otter1422
    Otter1422 Posts: 162 Member
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    My wife and I eloped, she has family in California and they have a condo in Lake Tahoe we used. We got married in the mountains and it was beautiful. Spent a 10 days out there and had a blast. We came back and had a reception with our families. It worked for us only because the whole traditional big wedding was not a priority or concern for my wife. She has not regretted it as we have talked about it many times. Pretty sure this is a female call so probably your gut is the only one that can say if it is right or not for you.
  • BluejayNY
    BluejayNY Posts: 301 Member
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    I would not elope because I am so close to my family. However, I would prefer never to a do big wedding if I were to get married again. I would be perfectly happy getting married surrounded by only close family and friends in a sundress on a beach or by a lake.
  • aamberrr
    aamberrr Posts: 115 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses everybody. :)

    To clarify a little, if we elope, it isn't because family doesn't approve or anything like that - just that I'm thinking I might prefer something more intimate and less stressful.

    The resort I found allows a small number of people to attend, so I'm thinking we may have just immediate family come with us for the ceremony, enjoy a good meal in one of the on-site restaurants, and then they go home while we stay for a few days and enjoy the romantic room and surroundings. Then, when we go home, we will probably have a larger (very laid back) celebration/party, probably just at somebody's house, with homemade food and fruit/cheese/veggie displays.

    Again, thanks for all of your opinions - this is really sounding like something more realistic, comfortable, and fun for me :)
  • emtb319
    emtb319 Posts: 87
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    My Nana eloped and had a good marriage. My hubby and I didn't elope, but we kept it quick, small and sweet. In the middle of a freak snow storm, we said our vows, in front of my mom, dad and town mayor. Then, we crossed the street for a nice meal and an awesome cake that my mom made us. That freak snow storm made the day even more perfect for us. I planned it all in less than 2 weeks.
    My advice to you is that if the wedding is going to make you rip your hair out, then scale it down. There's nothing wrong with keeping it intimate. The day is about the 2 of you and not other people, whether they like it or not.

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