Sabotours in your life.

GlassCutter7 · July 2013

I seem to be the biggest saboteur in my own life. I get to a certain point in my progress and then blow it.

stonel94 · July 2013

I hate to break it to you, but that's not sabotage. 1. you didn't eat it, which means you have gained self control, which means if he wants junk food around the house you CAN say no and just don't eat it. 2. you can't control other peoples lives forever, maybe he's fine with a little bit of time without junk food but he wants it and even if he shouldn't have it like if he too is overweight then you still cant stop him. 3. maybe he was happy for you and decided you needed to lighten up a little bit and celebrate with a little piece of cake. 4. you CAN eat what you want and lose weight, you just can't eat as much of everything as you want probably, but a piece of cake, probably 300 calories or less if you cut it the right size, I'm sure you can fit that into your diary without going over calories.

Basically, there will always be temptations at home, at work, at resturants, are you really never going to eat those foods again? no, you will, so it's better in my oppinion to have them around and learn moderation and self control then to keep them away like they're posion because if you do that the cravings will esclate so much you will probably binge on those foods and gain some weight

GlassCutter7 · July 2013

I lost over 140lbs over a year and people have not been nice at all. My co workers have done everything from get on mfp and pull my pics and make fake profiles . They taunt me at work saying I had weight loss surgery and get lipo on my days off. I just started a new profile that doesn't show my weight loss because I just cant take it anymore. I had guys on there asking for my fat pics. Sending me all kinda freaky messages. Im a single mother. My kids are very supportive. Im not tempted by junk foods because I know food is not the enemy its our thoughts surrounding it. One thing I have learned about extreme weight loss is it has nothing to do with food.

Wow Lynn, I can't even imagine working with people who are so insensitive and cruel. Congratulations on your weight loss and I am so happy your kids are so supportive.

cfranz7715 · July 2013

bump

ninerbuff · July 2013

I think that when at home It should be a safe zone. If I have to go to the store and buy something that that takes alot less willpower to stop myself . I hope someday it will not matter but right now it will make a differance. I don't feel like I'm asking for the world to change just my 1200 sqft area. That somehow his life will be harmed by not having this kind of food around the house is silly. If I was giving up drinking , drugs or smoking no one would think I should just deal with it being around as a willpower training.

Disagree. It's not about harm, it's the insistence that what he enjoys eating should be voided. My wife loves coffee. I hate the smell of it. Guess what? I deal with it because it's not gonna kill me. A little inconvenience yes, but not enough to try to force her to go outside and make coffee.
As for drugs, alcohol, and smoking, you can't compare addictive harmful behaviors to succumbing to eating some junk food. Sorry, but that's a stretch.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff · July 2013

I do agree that we are all responsible for the things we eat, however, I think it's important to acknowledge just how addictive junk food can be. One really important thing partners can do to support their loved ones achieve a healthier lifestyle is by NOT bringing those things into the house. I've also asked my partner to not bring home junk food, and it has made a huge difference to me. If you guys agreed to no junk food at home, then for sure he should not have brought it.

For me, sugar is massively tempting. Every week at my parent's family dinner, there is a big pie for dessert. It's taken me months and months to learn how to say no to it. Frustratingly, now that I don't eat the pie, my dad has taken to buying me a different, "special" dessert every week- just for me. I don't think he's trying to sabotage me, he just doesn't get it. I've told him how much I appreciate him thinking of me, but tell him I can't eat it, and have asked him that it would be better if he didn't bother. And I don't eat it. Hopefully he will get my drift soon. At times it has stressed me out so much I don't even want to go over there.

I know we can't expect people to change just because we are, but I also know how crucial to my success not having sugar in the house is. I would tell him how important it is to you to be able to have home be a place that is free of those temptations. Maybe if he sees what kind of difference it makes to you he will be more willing to help you out. Good luck

I disagree. Addicts to drugs,alcohol, gambling, etc. would sacrifice family and even kill to meet their addictions. I truly doubt people kill or steal from their families for some sugar.
Tell an addict that will totally be their demise and kill them, and they still would do what it took get their "fix". If you were told the next intake of sugar would kill you (literally), I'm more than sure you wouldn't eat it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Achrya · July 2013

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1058291-is-someone-sabotaging-you?page=1#posts-16256072

RoyBeck · July 2013

My fiancé invited her sister over yesterday. I came home from a 3 mile walk to find them watching a DVD scoffing m&ms, Pringles, coca cola and a lot more. I didn't have any. I didn't want any. I wouldn't want to stop her eating what she wants just because of my new lifestyle.

SuperSexyDork · July 2013

Deleted because someone did it for me!

SuperSexyDork · July 2013

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1058291-is-someone-sabotaging-you?page=1#posts-16256072

I didn't even need to do what I just did, LOL!

blessedmomof3girls · July 2013

I see my lifestyle change as MY CHOICE. It is not inflicted on everyone who is around me. I CHOOSE what I eat and don't eat. I make the choices and it is my responsibility to stay the course even though people around me may not choose the eating and exercise lifestyle that I have adopted. I live in a world where there will be cake, donuts, and all sorts of unhealthy stuff. Just because it is there does not mean I need to eat it. The world does not revolve around me because I am in diet and exercise mode. We all have to learn self control and personal responsibility. Just because you can not have cake does not mean everyone around you has to give it up too. To expect their behavior to change due to your lifestyle choice is a bit unrealistic, and you will be in situations with tempting foods at all times in the real world. You might as well look at this as an opportunity to exercise self control and cut your husband / coworkers or anyone else who is "plotting" against your efforts a little slack. They are just trying to enjoy themselves. I really do not think it is anything personal.

^ I completely agree with this statement. My body, my choice. I'm learning that life can't turn upside down for everyone else because I have a crappy metabolism. I do tend to try to cook more healthy for everyone at home but that doesn't mean that we don't have your 'normal' foods around for the family, and if we go out and eat its MY choice whether or not I hit the salad bar or the dessert table. You can't always control your surroundings, I have had to learn to control myself and my own behaviors.

kirstyfairhead · July 2013

QUOTE:: ]I disagree. Addicts to drugs,alcohol, gambling, etc. would sacrifice family and even kill to meet their addictions. I truly doubt people kill or steal from their families for some sugar.
Tell an addict that will totally be their demise and kill them, and they still would do what it took get their "fix". If you were told the next intake of sugar would kill you (literally), I'm more than sure you wouldn't eat it.

I think you are oversimplifying this issue... Most addicts are not in a situation where the very next, drink, smoke or drug will kill them (although this can happen in some instances). It is much more likely that the combination of years of abuse is what will lead to their untimely demise. In the meantime their addiction may alienate their family, remove them from their social group, cause huge emotional issues, damage their health etc etc....... All of these things can and do also happen as a result of overeating, just talk to anyone who is 300lbs overweight!!

A drug or alcohol addict will generally 'break' their habit through complete abstinence but no-one can just give up food and, because of that, a huge amount of discipline is required from someone who has a genuine eating problem. I'm not saying that it is the same as the addictions you mentioned but for some people it's not so far away from them as you seem to think!!

amandatapar · July 2013

I have 4 kids and a husband so no way I am going to avoid everything. I have just learned to not eat it when it comes in the house. Not everyone needs to eat like me and I just have to use my own will power to not eat it. I do have people tell me they think I am skinny enough but they don't know my real weight. They always guess me at a lower weight than I actually am. I am still overweight and have 38 pounds to go til goal weight. People just aren't used to seeing me skinnier. I guess what I am trying to get to is we can't always control what people bring around us but we can control whether we eat it or not.

VanCityFit · July 2013

My mother in law invites me over several times a weeks and always wants me to have a glass of wine with her and to eat pizza. No matter how many time I tell her it isn't on my diet she still constantly asks. It gets annoying but I am the one that makes the decisions.

FearAnLoathingJ · July 2013

I think that when at home It should be a safe zone. If I have to go to the store and buy something that that takes alot less willpower to stop myself . I hope someday it will not matter but right now it will make a differance. I don't feel like I'm asking for the world to change just my 1200 sqft area. That somehow his life will be harmed by not having this kind of food around the house is silly. If I was giving up drinking , drugs or smoking no one would think I should just deal with it being around as a willpower training.

I would think that. Also is it not his home too?

nikamar · July 2013

I don't really understand what is the issue here. :huh:

So for the rest of your life your husband will not be allowed to bring a cake/bag of cookies/bucket of fried chicken home? And for the rest of your life you won't be able to eat a normal portion of "unhealthy" food without binging on it?
That doesn't sound like a lifestyle change to me, it sounds like something temporary you do until you look good in a bikini on your next vacation.

Unless he tied you to a chair and force-fed you that cake, he didn't really sabotage you.

jdm_taco · July 2013

we are not all lucky to eat what they want and be skinny

I used to think this way too, then I realized that its not a matter of misfortune that I was morbidly obese it was my own poor choices and sedentary lifestyle.

As for saboteurs... I take responsibility for my own actions instead of blaming others. You cannot lock yourself away from all temptations that may derail you weight loss. It is crucial to develop will power and avoid temptation in order to achieve long term success.

There is nothing wrong with having a little of the treats you enjoy and still meet daily calorie goal.

Good luck and stay strong OP.

jenjen828 · July 2013

I think that when at home It should be a safe zone. If I have to go to the store and buy something that that takes alot less willpower to stop myself . I hope someday it will not matter but right now it will make a differance. I don't feel like I'm asking for the world to change just my 1200 sqft area. That somehow his life will be harmed by not having this kind of food around the house is silly. If I was giving up drinking , drugs or smoking no one would think I should just deal with it being around as a willpower training.

For me, it all boils down to this one thing. I am in this for me. If I succeed or fail, it is all on me. I know what I ate that made me fat. I know the workouts that I did not do that kept me fat. It is all on me. We as a society want to blame someone, anyone but ourselves, and maybe that is why so many of us are on this site trying to lose weight.

I am tired of making excuses why I can't. These past few weeks, I have tossed out those excuses, and now have a million reasons why I can. If I can go to a buffet (and turn down mashed potatoes, mac and cheese and all of the deserts I love) and still eat healthy and be within my plan because my husband wanted to go to a buffet today, anyone can do it. If I can go on vacation and have family members eating hot donuts in front of me while I am eating a nonfat greek yogurt, I know you can do it. It is just a matter of what you want. No one said this would be easy or comfortable. No one said they would put in the work and sacrifice for you. You have to dig deep and do what you have to do, and not blame others because it is hard.

You can not tell me about how addictive food can be. I know. I have chosen that it is not going to have power in my life and control me any longer. My husband brings sweets and junk food in the house. Some days I can look at it and not phase me. Other days, it does tempt me. When that happens, I just put it away. If someone is eating something that is not in my plan, I just leave the room or go do something else. Eventually, you will have to be proactive about food and you will encounter people who are not supportive of your lifestyle change. That is life, and as harsh as that sounds, what you do is still your responsibility.

Like I said earlier, the world ( or your 1200 sq feet of space) will not necessarily change, just because you have changed your diet. You will be confronted with junk food on television (in your home), work, the grocery store and every other place you go to. You have to just make up your mind what you want more and go after it. For me, I am choosing healthy, and I do not care what food is brought into our house.Each person in our house has a right to be happy and reward themselves in a manner they choose. I have the POWER to turn down food. I own my weaknesses, and have determined that they will not rule me.

Sabotours in your life.

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