Do you ever wonder if some people WANT you to get fat?!

Or am I just paranoid?! I totally get when a friend genuinely thinks you don't need to lose weight, since we're our own worst critics. But there's that line, where rather than letting you know you look okay, or don't have to count every calorie, they're literally trying to make you eat lots of junk! A good friend of mine, knows I started working out and eating better more consistently than before, and now all of the sudden she's in the mood for movie nights with pizza & sweets, and going out to breakfast, drinking, and telling me to enjoy life. She NEVER wanted to go out to eat as much as before or encouraged me to eat more than I want. She even tells me to ditch the gym! Frequently! Does anyone else know people like this?

Replies

  • endwithxxx
    endwithxxx Posts: 2 Member
    Don't be tempted! Maybe she's pregnant lol
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Please God make all my friends fat so I look skinny. A lot of people say this prayer every night. So yes, some secretly hope you never achieve your weight loss goals.
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
    YESSS!! i had a friend that knew i was counting cals and working my *kitten* off.. i think she may have been jealous or mad (?!?!?) that i was losing weight.. she starting randomly bringing me over pizzas and like grease covered fried sandwiches.. and then when i would say no thanks, she would try to guilt trip me by saying how much money it cost her and stuff.. no idea why people are like that. when i called her out she was just like "you don't need to lose any weight" soooo annoying.
  • ImprovingEla
    ImprovingEla Posts: 396 Member
    Does she? or are you just more aware of it now that you are paying attention to your own lifestyle!

    Ever asked her for the reason?
  • hamasham
    hamasham Posts: 2 Member
    Definitely, when the weight loss starts to I will find a bag of spicettes sitting on the counter. Farm and Fleet has the best. I say I am not going to eat them but I do. The whole bag. It is an insecurity problem with the person who buys them.
    .
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    She's probably jealous!
  • 43932452
    43932452 Posts: 7,246 Member
    Sometimes friends can misguide us .. just watchout for trip switches.
    I do think it is much easier 2b fat but no good comes of .. I wish I
    could put the effort that being fat takes to have the body of a slim
    lady. :)
  • lcfairbairn74
    lcfairbairn74 Posts: 412 Member
    Does she? or are you just more aware of it now that you are paying attention to your own lifestyle!

    Ever asked her for the reason?

    I am wondering this as well. Is it just that you always had the offers of these things, but only realise now you have embarked upon a new regimen how often it actually happened?
  • SadFaerie
    SadFaerie Posts: 243 Member
    Yeah, I have a friend like that, too. Constantly calling me "skinny b****", telling me to "eat something", trying to tease me with junk food, out of the blue texting me stuff like "I'm having a glazed doughnut, life is soooo good!!!" or posting cream cake recipes on my facebook, trying to convince me that women who work out are a huge turn off for men... At the same time she keep complaining about her weight and related health issues, but always finding dozen excuses as to why she can't diet or exercise...

    Water off duck's back. I know what I'm doing and why, and I'm doing it for myself.
  • Nouurann
    Nouurann Posts: 183 Member
    Does she? or are you just more aware of it now that you are paying attention to your own lifestyle!

    Ever asked her for the reason?

    Before we'd usually never go out to eat. We'd just go get coffee, or something. Or have one drink. Or split a dessert. Not because we were watching our weight, but that's just what we did together. But now that I've discussed my goals with her, she literally texts me like *hey, are you feeling pizza or burritos today?* that's never happened before. Or if I tell her I want something lighter she goes "ugh, that's annoying*. Before if I told her I wanted light food, she'd recommend my options. Now it's like my options are to eat junk, or be uptight. & I've brought up jokingly before like, "looks like you're trying to make me fat or something?!* but we laugh it off. She's my best friend, I don't want to make it sound like I think she's conspiring against me...even though I kinda do D:
  • mspoopoo
    mspoopoo Posts: 500 Member
    Absolutely! Women can be darn mean and competitive.

    I had a co worker find out I was getting married and of course I was trying to lose weight and she would bring in sweets every day and try to guilt me into eating them. Funny thing is she was really thin and she would never herself eat what she brought in.

    If you call them out, they will just deny it.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    JEALOUS!!! don't be dumb girl....:laugh:
  • BioMechHeretic
    BioMechHeretic Posts: 128 Member
    YESSS!! i had a friend that knew i was counting cals and working my *kitten* off.. i think she may have been jealous or mad (?!?!?) that i was losing weight.. she starting randomly bringing me over pizzas and like grease covered fried sandwiches.. and then when i would say no thanks, she would try to guilt trip me by saying how much money it cost her and stuff.. no idea why people are like that. when i called her out she was just like "you don't need to lose any weight" soooo annoying.

    Always a few friends like this. They just want you to look worse so they don't look so bad lol. Lazy people, ignore 'em
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
    Yeah, but my SO likes big *kitten*. Can't blame him
  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    Please God make all my friends fat so I look skinny. A lot of people say this prayer every night. So yes, some secretly hope you never achieve your weight loss goals.

    There is this possibility.
    Does she? or are you just more aware of it now that you are paying attention to your own lifestyle!

    There is also this possibility.


    Then there are scenarios like what I experienced in high school. I avoided eating food from my schools cafeteria (some of it was pretty bad), now that's not saying I didn't eat. I did. I was just picky about what I'd eat while I was there and usually what I could find didn't amount to much. Now my friends who didn't see me much out of school though I was developing an ED and were constantly offering me the overly greasy, rather disgusting looking foods (sometimes going to the point of holding it right in front of my face). They didn't believe me about what I ate at home and were doing it out of genuine concern. And I can understand where they where coming from, I was relatively thin (not underweight or anything) and I didn't eat much in front of them. I was into working out, swimming, running, etc and at home would eat lots. So you have a better understanding of my "lots", one of my favorite meals would be Steak (7 - 9 oz), loaded baked potato (bacon, cheese, sour cream, and butter), steamed broccoli and for dessert a brownie with ice cream on top. Not to mention the various other snacks I had outside of meal time. My point is, there was nothing wrong with how I was eating, I was healthy and yet my friends out of concern where trying to get me to eat more.

    So another question for you to consider is, from her point of view can it possibly look like you are developing some sort of ED?
  • ImprovingEla
    ImprovingEla Posts: 396 Member
    Does she? or are you just more aware of it now that you are paying attention to your own lifestyle!

    Ever asked her for the reason?

    Before we'd usually never go out to eat. We'd just go get coffee, or something. Or have one drink. Or split a dessert. Not because we were watching our weight, but that's just what we did together. But now that I've discussed my goals with her, she literally texts me like *hey, are you feeling pizza or burritos today?* that's never happened before. Or if I tell her I want something lighter she goes "ugh, that's annoying*. Before if I told her I wanted light food, she'd recommend my options. Now it's like my options are to eat junk, or be uptight. & I've brought up jokingly before like, "looks like you're trying to make me fat or something?!* but we laugh it off. She's my best friend, I don't want to make it sound like I think she's conspiring against me...even though I kinda do D:

    hmm, in this case:
    I am sorry you have a friend who is not as supportive as a friend should be or as you wish she would be!
    That is really anoying!
    Maybe next time text her back something along the lines of: Hey we do not have to eat, to see each other!
    Or invite her to workout with you together? Maybe do some fun activity instead? roller scates, climbing, swimming?
  • bunnsangel
    bunnsangel Posts: 37 Member
    My MIL is like that. We live with them and she is the main cook in the house and she is constantly cooking deep fried foods or baking cakes or my favorite cookies. When I try to talk to her about healthier choices, she gets very upset and complains to my husband about it. She tells him that my weight issues are getting on her last nerves.
  • greentart
    greentart Posts: 411 Member
    In all honesty, your friend is probably jealous and now conscious of her own body because of what you're doing. Misery loves company. She probably doesn't even realize that she's doing it. If it's bothering you that much, then either nicely ask her to stop inviting you to pizza and such.... or just suck it up. Every time she wants to go out for pizza, order a salad. Every time she wants ice cream, don't order anything.
    It's really up to you how to deal with it, but its not that she wants to get you fat... she just wants to not focus on her own body and health.
  • SadFaerie
    SadFaerie Posts: 243 Member
    In all honesty, your friend is probably jealous and now conscious of her own body because of what you're doing. Misery loves company. She probably doesn't even realize that she's doing it.
    Yeah, I think that's the case. After we adapt the healthy lifestyle, we unintentionally expose our friends' weaknesses. What now seems to come naturally for us, seems hard or even impossible to them. Imagine you and your friend we're always on the same level of attractiveness, and suddenly you get a total makeover and your friend, who did not change a bit, now looks ugly by comparison... Not a nice feeling, eh? I don't think they realise that we find their behaviour malicious, after all we're talking about friends here, not some pissy strangers. You can either motivate her to catch up with you, or ignore her remarks, but don't get upset. Not worth damaging your friendship.
  • Caitu13
    Caitu13 Posts: 55 Member
    My husband has said, "yea u look great the way u r" and the more weight i lose the weirder he gets. I also have a friend u does wha ur sayin. Dont be afraid to tell ur friend instead of movie night, how about bowling! Mini gold! An activity that doesn't mean ull sit the whole time!
  • jollygoodgal
    jollygoodgal Posts: 15 Member
    I think you hit the nail on the head....I have friends like that and assume they are jealous. I have one who always says "Is that ALL you're going to eat. When out with them, I try to spread my food out on my plate to look like more, or tell them I had a late breakfast or large lunch - anything to make an excuse for what I am eating so I can stick to my diet. Or, when we play cards she will bring a sweet snack or pie or cake and then I have to eat some, but usually serve myself and make it very small. Last week, friends came to our house and I had baked a cake. She asked for a very small piece which I gave her...had two bites and when her husband was finished said "Bob will you finish this?" I think he knew the reason why and I didn't make any comment - I may well try that the next time. Good luck....jollygoodgal
  • anothercolleen
    anothercolleen Posts: 17 Member
    I have two best friends that are like sisters. One is extremely supportive of my weight loss efforts. She checks in and frequently offers to go walking together.

    The other ignores it or cooks things that I can't or shouldn't eat. I am beginning to think that she's getting worried. She was always thin. In the last 10 years however she's gained weight and it's about a size 18/20. I'm convinced she's concerned that after all these years she is going to be the "fat friend".