Not-so-major Calorie Overage with Major GUILT

becki101_4
becki101_4 Posts: 47 Member
edited September 21 in Food and Nutrition
Ok so my cousin had his wedding today and I told myself that it was ok if I went over on calories. After all, it's his wedding, a celebration, a time to be merry and enjoy life. I did watch what I ate and drank, because I didn't want to go crazy, but I did want to indulge a little bit and enjoy myself. I did go over my calories. I just input my food and was 304 calories over my limit, under on fat and protein, and 22 g over on carbs. I know in my head that this isn't a huge setback, and not really even a setback at all. 400 of my calories came from the alcohol I drank (6 oz of red wine and two rum and diet cokes), so without the alcohol I would have been fine. I ate lots of fruit and veggies, didn't have any dessert, and limited my portion sizes on protein and starches. But I still feel guilty. Every time I give myself any sort of treat, my mind nags me and tells me that I shouldn't be doing this, whether it's in my calorie allowance or not. Why do I feel this way? I know small indulgences once or twice a month won't harm me, and planned treats are ok, but I can't stop the guilt from coming! Does anyone else have this problem? What do you do?

Replies

  • sassiebritches
    sassiebritches Posts: 1,861 Member
    Your beating yourself up.....it is ok to indulge once in a while, when we go overboard everyday, this is when you get back into eating wrong. Finish enjoying yourself and don't worry about it......you did great....
  • zeorimer
    zeorimer Posts: 13
    yes I feel this way all the time! I have a major sweet tooth and it's so hard for me but then i just try harder the next day. Try not to feel to bad about it and remember it's the long term goal not the short term screw up :D
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    I don't really deal with the guilt issue mostly because I don't like how junk food effects my body so I rarely eat it. I just don't feel it's healthy fuel for my body so I avoid it pretty much.

    If you planned ahead on cals to be eaten in your food diary and knew what you'd be having, well for the most part, there's really no reason to feel guilt. Sometimes we go over on our food diaries. There are a number of ppl that eat junk food on MPF and there are some that never do. If it's something you allow yourself permission to do then feeling guilty about it might only serve to set you up for tomorrow.

    Best to let it go and finish out the day healthy and wake up and have your day already planned. Guilt has never really served a purpose for anyone, not in a good way, least that's how I see guilt. :)

    Get back on track ASAP and as you told yourself, you knew you'd be there and planned on some of the food. Perhaps next outing instead of 3 drinks chose to have one and see how that goes. For the most part alcohol is empty cals and it's way to easy to indulge in food after drinking. :)
  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
    OK - so you annunced in public and now it is time to move on. Tomorrow is another day. This is real life!
  • Railvas
    Railvas Posts: 19
    I felt guilty going over the first time but one of my new friends lost 200+ lb in the last few years and she said if you are going to count your cal.s make sure at least once a week you go over you limit. Nothing major but enjoy yourself. What this does is keeps your body guessing. When you eat around the same calories a day your body gets used to processing that much and it can some times slow down your burn. So going over once a week keeps your body guessing and can help to moving in a positive direction at a faster rate. I have been using MFP for 112 days and so far I have lost 43 lbs.
  • Cytherea
    Cytherea Posts: 515 Member
    You know, its funny, because when I plan to go over, like at a wedding, I don't feel guilty at all. I know I'm going to do it, I'm going to eat and enjoy myself, and dance like crazy and have a good time.

    But I do feel guilty sometimes, and it is one of those weird things where it is when I am totally within my calorie/etc. goals for the day but have a really big dinner or something. I feel like I shouldn't be eating that much even though I've already planned it out and I can actually eat even MORE than that- I've got room left for snacks for later!

    I think recognizing these traits in yourself help you to see how easy it would be to be TOO obsessive and potentially harm yourself. As long as you are aware that it happens sometimes and you keep telling yourself that it really is ok and don't kill yourself over it, you'll be fine. It has worked for me so far, lol.
  • bethanybclayton
    bethanybclayton Posts: 5
    Maybe you could dance extra at the wedding and burn some extra calories lol...when I go over I just do some kind of exercise to make myself break even. Then I don't feel guilty.
  • Paige1108
    Paige1108 Posts: 432 Member
    Something to remember is your that if you asked MFP to create a 1lb and week loss for you that's 500 calories a day. So if you have that as your setting you still have an almost 200 calorie deficit for today. If you asked for a .5lb a week loss you are looking at only having gone over by 50 calories. And saving the best for last. If you chose 2lbs per week well you are still at an almost 700 calorie deficit for today. So worst case scenario, you really only went over your maintenance calories by 50 calories, that's a nice 20 minute walk.

    Guilt sucks, and by that I mean it sucks you down into the spiral of self abuse. And once the abuse begins it's hard to see the big picture. What's important is that you know exactly how much you ate today and you cared enough about yourself to hold yourself to 300 calories over your goal. Tomorrow you will be back on track and pushing hard toward your goal. As Frank Sinatra says "...I pick my self up and get back in the race, that's life".
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
    I totally understand! I HATE seeing the red on mfp! I feel like I'm still in school and doing poorly on a test! I Had to stop counting sugar for that reason because even though I would only eat fruit, I hated seeing the red marks. Even as I transition to maintenance I cringe when I realize a meal was 400-500 cals, even if it was all healthy stuff. And going over my cals, even when planned, is maddening. I have to not log on my cheat days or I feel horrible and workout extra. But I have always been an OCD personality. Hopefully you're not so bad or at least can convince yourself you are calorie cycling, as I often tell myself :wink:
  • marymooster
    marymooster Posts: 134 Member
    This topic is part of what I was talking about in my blog. A lot of the guilt we feel... is because of the way we think about losing wt. and a lot of it is negative... the way we talk the way we think affects us on a cellular level... every cell in our body resonates with the emotions and thoughts we carry... in your case... guilt. The way to change this is to conciously change how you are thinking. You may still feel the guilt for a while, but that is part of the process.. Just conciously change your thoughts.

    OLD WAY--I fell guilty because I went over my carbs.
    NEW WAY-I celebrated with my friends had a wonderful time and feel great.

    Basically it is about focusing on what is not what could have been should have been or was.
    Staying in the now is the key.

    best wishes
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    This topic is part of what I was talking about in my blog. A lot of the guilt we feel... is because of the way we think about losing wt. and a lot of it is negative... the way we talk the way we think affects us on a cellular level... every cell in our body resonates with the emotions and thoughts we carry... in your case... guilt. The way to change this is to conciously change how you are thinking. You may still feel the guilt for a while, but that is part of the process.. Just conciously change your thoughts.

    OLD WAY--I fell guilty because I went over my carbs.
    NEW WAY-I celebrated with my friends had a wonderful time and feel great.

    Basically it is about focusing on what is not what could have been should have been or was.
    Staying in the now is the key.

    best wishes
    Wonderful post!! Thank you Mary:flowerforyou:
    Becca
  • YourFriendBecky
    YourFriendBecky Posts: 229
    Here's another reason to not worry about occasionally going into the "red": did you know that as you lose weight and your calorie allowance goes down, it makes it look on past entries like you went over your allotment even though you didn't?

    What I'm saying is that we can't give so much power to the numbers on the screen... it's all relative. If we would all just think about the fact that before we started MFP we probably went over by quite a bit DAILY (at least I sure did!), then it would help put things in perspective.

    If it makes you feel better, add up all your daily calories between last weigh-in and next weigh-in and make them average out at whatever your daily average is supposed to be. Although I don't think that's necessary... like someone else said, throwing in a higher calorie day sometimes helps keep things moving.

    Becky
  • becki101_4
    becki101_4 Posts: 47 Member
    You guys have all made me feel so much better! Thank you :)
  • cuddlegrl
    cuddlegrl Posts: 101 Member
    I did this the other day. But it wasnt a planned event. I was STARVING and REALLY wanted pizza hut pizza (it doesnt get much worse!). So I did. And I ate until I was stuffed. When I entered the calories I almost cried. I looked at the red and said "OMG what have I done!?" I wanted to take it back. So I did. I got on my treadmill and ran off all of the extra calories (which was 600 over my limit). Then I looked at the past week. I was under my goal every day (some by 200 some by 80) and I added it all up. For my weeks worth of calories I broke even. Now I know that our body needs fuel daily and counting calories weekly not daily is not a good idea but it helped with the "OMG what have I done?!" feeling.

    If you are going to, or have, gone over on your calories just make up the difference with some exercise. And if you kill your calorie limit at the end of the day or in the evening and you've had to many drinks to exercise then do it first thing in the morning. Your body doesnt run from midnight to midnight.

    (And I was still over on my weight loss goal for the week)

    :smile:
  • dbaikie
    dbaikie Posts: 1 Member
    Enjoyed your blog mucho. Yes, I also suffer from that self-imposed guilt over small indulgences and then when it an "over the top indulgence", I can just crater and really beat myself up. What I know is true and what I am learning to do about this, is to force my thought process to remember this is a long term, lifestyle change, actually. And one small slip will not make or break my long term goal. I have to develop a plan I can live with long term and at times that will be trial and error. It helps me to plan my indulgences for the week and incorporate them into my WEEKLY caloric intake, NOT just daily. When I overindulge, I try to make up for it, if not at the next meal, the next day. This usually works for me. Hah. But then there are the times I just go back to my old ways of thinking and beat myself up and say "what's the use". Then, I REALLY have to kick myself in the butt and tell myself to "get a life". I have to get really mad at myself for being so mean to ME. This is about getting healthy and staying healthy. I am human and God made ALL foods for us to enjoy.....in moderation. Negative thinking is a habit, so is positive thinking. When I start ugly thinking, I picture a big red stop sign in my mind and I shout out loud, "STOP". Yep, I know this sounds really odd, but I am a slow learner and very stubborn. Have a good week and stay positive and be KIND to yourself. You deserve it!!
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