Hubby is jealous!

ChristineinMA
ChristineinMA Posts: 312 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been working hard since the beginning of the year, walking and trying to lose weight. I didn't actually lose any weight until I got a FitBit One (May 27) and started MyFitnessPal (June 13). So far since June I have lost 14 pounds (Go me!) by watching what I am eating and walking 6 days a week.

My husband is jealous, but he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change. He is talking about joining me on my morning walks, but he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace - and frankly, I enjoy the time by myself. I don't want him there yakking away at me in the morning when I am walking before work.

I am thankful that he is supportive and does not try to sabotage my efforts.

Any suggestions on how to help him get more fit, without driving myself batty?
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Replies

  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    It doesn't sound like he's jealous at all. He's shown interest in walking with you but you don't like him too because he yaks.

    Perhaps you're the problem.....do your thing and let him do his.
  • readeramm
    readeramm Posts: 23 Member
    How about adding a one mile leisurely walk after dinner with him? You can burn a few more calories, encourage him, have together time and preserve your mornings for yourself.
  • xxmarysmxx
    xxmarysmxx Posts: 199 Member
    How about adding a one mile leisurely walk after dinner with him? You can burn a few more calories, encourage him, have together time and preserve your mornings for yourself.

    This one.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    From your post, I cannot see where he is jealous. It seems like he has taken an interest in what you are doing and wants to join you.

    As a poster above said, suggest evening walks with the two of you.
  • justwanderful
    justwanderful Posts: 142 Member
    OP's post has to be one of the most passive aggressive I've seen here lately. Sheesh.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I'm sure he is, dear.
  • norahwynn
    norahwynn Posts: 862 Member
    I'd rather have a healthy 'yakker' than someone that's overweight and unhealthy. The way you put it, he wants to do what you're doing. And before you know it, once he goes on a few walks with you, he'll be able to pick up the pace because he's geting healthier.

    Sometimes we need to sacrifice for the one's we love, and if it takes actually interacting with your husband and maybe walking a bit slower, then why not?

    Maybe after work you can get in a shorter walk at your own pace to make up the slow pace in the morning??
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    What is he jealous of? The fact that you lost weight, or that some guy might roll up with some sweet talk and try to hit that during one of your walks?
  • hep26000
    hep26000 Posts: 156 Member
    How about adding a one mile leisurely walk after dinner with him? You can burn a few more calories, encourage him, have together time and preserve your mornings for yourself.

    ^This
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    What is he jealous of? The fact that you lost weight, or that some guy might roll up with some sweet talk and try to hit that during one of your walks?

    :drinker: We have a winner!!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Anytime I get jealous of a girl I usually try to be with her too. I am a firm believer in "keep your friends close and enemies closer"

    You are clearly the enemy who is making him so jealous that he learned telepathy and found out that you like walking alone and having a "me time". He then used that information, expressed that you are awesome for losing weight and then started to walk your steps. Look at that evil genius for using your own weaknesses against you.

    I suggest inventing something. Something that no one has ever done. It would be hard. But since the invention is my idea, I get to name it. I want you to name it "talking". Invent away.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    Tell him he can walk with you if he stays silent, doesn't make eye contact, walks a few paces behind you and avoids yakking.......keep us posted on his reaction
  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
    I like the idea of taking a walk with him in the evenings and still walking by yourself in the morning. Also, maybe getting him to see the benefits of a solitary walk might be good too.

    Honestly, I can understand where you are coming from. Both my husband and I are working on losing weight, getting more fit, etc. But I am further along than he is. I can walk much faster, and even run some. He plods along. I love being with him, but I feel like I'm not really getting much of a workout if I'm not pushing myself. We tried walking together, but I was constantly having to slow down and he was pushing himself too much trying to keep up with me. So we decided that we can walk at the same time, but separately. We each have our own music and go at our pace. Then we meet for dinner.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Tell him he can walk with you if he stays silent, doesn't make eye contact, walks a few paces behind you and avoids yakking.......keep us posted on his reaction

    this, with a leash.
  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
    If he's jealous then tell him to get over it. If he's not willing to change then so be it. He can stay fat and you can be fit! No need for unnecessary negativity. He will eventually come around because he will be afraid to lose you
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Unless you have left some important facts out of your story, I don't see jealousy at all. What I see is someone who is inspired by your success, and who wants to make fitness something the two of you do together.

    How you choose to go forward is up to you, but your pursuit of health doesn't have to be a selfish one. If you do it together, you can encourage each other, and that is lovely.
  • niknakks
    niknakks Posts: 3
    go for your walks alone in the morning, but invite him for walks in the evening and go at his pace. this way you can have double the work out (and lose double the weight!) while spending time with your husband and promoting his interest in fitness:smile:
  • scloyd
    scloyd Posts: 327 Member
    "my husband is jealous"
    "he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
    "he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
    "I enjoy the time by myself"
    "I don't want him there yakking away at me"
    "without driving myself batty?"

    Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Wish I could help you, but I have to admit I'm jealous too.
  • sunfirelynn
    sunfirelynn Posts: 186 Member
    He is your husband for crying out loud , you should be thankful he wants to walk with you, Let me tell you my husband passed away after 20 years of loving him, life is short be thankful your husband is there and would like to walk with you.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    poor guy.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
    He should check your text messages.
  • czardastx
    czardastx Posts: 127 Member
    My husband is jealous, but he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change. He is talking about joining me on my morning walks, but he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace - and frankly, I enjoy the time by myself. I don't want him there yakking away at me in the morning when I am walking before work.

    I am thankful that he is supportive and does not try to sabotage my efforts.

    Any suggestions on how to help him get more fit, without driving myself batty?

    Sounds like you're not supportive of his interest and want to sabotage his efforts. It's a marriage, a partnership, a sharing of lives. Don't be so 'greedy' with your time. Share with him, build a stronger relationship.

    I bike ride with my wife, work out with her. Not everytime, but a few times a week. We both agreed to have our own time to workout and our time to workout together.

    Support him, help him build up to your pace, enjoy his company. Time will fly by and you'll realize that you enjoyed spending the time with him.
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
    "my husband is jealous"
    "he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
    "he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
    "I enjoy the time by myself"
    "I don't want him there yakking away at me"
    "without driving myself batty?"

    Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.

    Truth.
  • 007bondage
    007bondage Posts: 631 Member
    My partner jogs / walks while I run. We go to a small park with a walking path around it, maybe 800 yards around. I run laps in one direction, she walks in the other direction. We high five, exchange a few words each time we pass until our workout "together" is done. She loves to see how far she gets ach lap before I meet her etc... This works for us, may be worth a try?
  • toothpastechica
    toothpastechica Posts: 250 Member
    go for your walks alone in the morning, but invite him for walks in the evening and go at his pace. this way you can have double the work out (and lose double the weight!) while spending time with your husband and promoting his interest in fitness:smile:

    This. I walk or run on my own 6 days a week....I get hubby out for an additional walk, hike or canoeing about 3 days a week. He also goes bike riding on his own (I don't have a bike). He knows he's not as fit as he once was, but isn't ready to commit to concrete goals or track food or anything so I figure any time I can encourage him to be active the better....that's what I am there for, to support him where he is at.
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
    poor guy.


    This.

    Seriously OP, you sound like a lovely person.
  • Nancymcgregor
    Nancymcgregor Posts: 150 Member
    He seems interested to me not jealous. I love running with my husband and as the pounds are flying off I like to run behind him to watch his *kitten*.

    I do understand the need to have a bit of you time though.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    i feel bad for him
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I just realized that the OP is sabotaging her husband for some alone time...

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