Hubby is jealous!

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2

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  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    poor guy.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
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    He should check your text messages.
  • czardastx
    czardastx Posts: 127 Member
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    My husband is jealous, but he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change. He is talking about joining me on my morning walks, but he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace - and frankly, I enjoy the time by myself. I don't want him there yakking away at me in the morning when I am walking before work.

    I am thankful that he is supportive and does not try to sabotage my efforts.

    Any suggestions on how to help him get more fit, without driving myself batty?

    Sounds like you're not supportive of his interest and want to sabotage his efforts. It's a marriage, a partnership, a sharing of lives. Don't be so 'greedy' with your time. Share with him, build a stronger relationship.

    I bike ride with my wife, work out with her. Not everytime, but a few times a week. We both agreed to have our own time to workout and our time to workout together.

    Support him, help him build up to your pace, enjoy his company. Time will fly by and you'll realize that you enjoyed spending the time with him.
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
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    "my husband is jealous"
    "he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
    "he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
    "I enjoy the time by myself"
    "I don't want him there yakking away at me"
    "without driving myself batty?"

    Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.

    Truth.
  • 007bondage
    007bondage Posts: 631 Member
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    My partner jogs / walks while I run. We go to a small park with a walking path around it, maybe 800 yards around. I run laps in one direction, she walks in the other direction. We high five, exchange a few words each time we pass until our workout "together" is done. She loves to see how far she gets ach lap before I meet her etc... This works for us, may be worth a try?
  • toothpastechica
    toothpastechica Posts: 250 Member
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    go for your walks alone in the morning, but invite him for walks in the evening and go at his pace. this way you can have double the work out (and lose double the weight!) while spending time with your husband and promoting his interest in fitness:smile:

    This. I walk or run on my own 6 days a week....I get hubby out for an additional walk, hike or canoeing about 3 days a week. He also goes bike riding on his own (I don't have a bike). He knows he's not as fit as he once was, but isn't ready to commit to concrete goals or track food or anything so I figure any time I can encourage him to be active the better....that's what I am there for, to support him where he is at.
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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    poor guy.


    This.

    Seriously OP, you sound like a lovely person.
  • Nancymcgregor
    Nancymcgregor Posts: 150 Member
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    He seems interested to me not jealous. I love running with my husband and as the pounds are flying off I like to run behind him to watch his *kitten*.

    I do understand the need to have a bit of you time though.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    i feel bad for him
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    I just realized that the OP is sabotaging her husband for some alone time...
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Just walk with the guy. It won't kill you to encourage him to get fit as well. Put in your headphones, and maybe buy him a nice pair as a gift so he can listen to music while he walks.

    You're both more likely to stick to it if you get fit as a couple.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    Anytime I get jealous of a girl I usually try to be with her too. I am a firm believer in "keep your friends close and enemies closer"

    You are clearly the enemy who is making him so jealous that he learned telepathy and found out that you like walking alone and having a "me time". He then used that information, expressed that you are awesome for losing weight and then started to walk your steps. Look at that evil genius for using your own weaknesses against you.

    I suggest inventing something. Something that no one has ever done. It would be hard. But since the invention is my idea, I get to name it. I want you to name it "talking". Invent away.


    fatality1.jpg
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 897 Member
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    My partner jogs / walks while I run. We go to a small park with a walking path around it, maybe 800 yards around. I run laps in one direction, she walks in the other direction. We high five, exchange a few words each time we pass until our workout "together" is done. She loves to see how far she gets ach lap before I meet her etc... This works for us, may be worth a try?

    That sounds fun!

    Mine walks while I run away and then back to him, walk a few steps with him and run away again.. sortof like a dog :P I love that he goes out with me.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Cut him loose so he can find a partner that will support his efforts?
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    mine too,
  • mommabenefield
    mommabenefield Posts: 1,329 Member
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    "my husband is jealous"
    "he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
    "he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
    "I enjoy the time by myself"
    "I don't want him there yakking away at me"
    "without driving myself batty?"

    Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.

    this!

    Congrats on your weight loss keep it up BUT how petty of you OP

    I have no other input other than

    this sounds utterly ridiculous!!

    I get no inclination of Jealousy based on what you have said.
    your husband WANTS to start bettering himself because he is encouraged by what you have accomplished and all you seem to think is "I wont get my quiet time"
    Take a bath and read a book if you want quiet time. Or go on a second walk of the day to have that 'alone" time or like another said get some ear phones for you both. Would it hurt you to slow your pace enough that he can just barely keep up then you will at some point be at the same level??
    If he starts then ends up quitting like you seem to think he will then so be it.
    YOU don't be the one to discourage him from trying to be healthy even its just because he wants to walk with you or jealousy.

    I'd give anything to have my husband WANT to exercise with me. To be so jealous of me getting fit that he started getting fit too.
    And another mentioned, couples ARE healthy when they do it together rather than separate.

    How would you feel if the situation were reversed and these were his feelings instead of yours?? I know i would be heartbroken to hear this.

    I could go at this all day so i need to get off my soap box.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    I just realized that the OP is sabotaging her husband for some alone time...

    this.

    My bf wanted to start running with me. I was ELATED.
  • askinnybanana13
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    Normally I am not one to agree with everyone but today I agree with every post on here some could have been worded a little nicer but the point is what I agreed with. Before I shed out too much advice I want to say congrats on your weight loss and determination! It is an awesome success.

    1. I don't see where you husband is jealous... unless he is jealous of the alone time you are getting through your walks

    2. I agree that time to yourself is extremely vital. Exercise for many is about self-determination, conquering a goal with the only competition being yourself, and obtaining that goal knowing YOU were the one who got yourself there. I have alone time exercising and don’t plan on sharing that time.

    3. Find something physical you can do together... walks are nice in the evening after dinner and it will give him time to talk to you and ask about your day... maybe find a different topic each night to talk about on a walk (keep it light conversation, not politics that might upset the walk)... you might be surprised what you learn about each other and yourself. If it isn't an after dinner walk try making every Saturday morning your together walk.

    4. Sounds like your husband actually wants to be involved in your journey – that is why we get married so that the journey whether it is fitness or life in general isn’t spent 100% alone.... he is probably proud of you and wants to find a way to be a part of the pride. OR…he wants to be physically healthy but feels he can't do it alone and without saying that he needs you he is just trying to join you.... whether or not guys admit it they seem to like to do these types of activities with people. I very rarely see a guy at the gym alone, but I see women alone frequently.

    Here are my tips and what my husband and I do to get alone and together time.

    #1. I have a gym membership: so with that I attend the gym 6 days a week where cardio and weights are a part of my routine. I have 3 classes a week where I spend time with mostly women and we bond through fitness and the other 3 days I work out alone. 1 class a week my husband joins me so that we may be active together. Plus it a guy style class so he feels comfortable going because other buddies of his go too making it a fun thing to do with friends and my husband.

    #2. My husband and his cousin work out 5 days a week together. Which gives him guy time. My gym time and his gym time are at the same time of day but in different places so that we still spend the same hours at home together with our kids.

    #3. Every night until the weather makes it impossible. We take our kids on a bike ride for no less than 1 hour. Our rides include getting off and throwing rocks into the river, looking for different bugs (I have boys), and when I am lucky one of them will pick me a flower.

    #4. Every Sunday is date time with my hubby so no matter what we have a date... just this Sunday we had a date in the back yard and did 20 minutes of stretching together while our boys played on the swing set. The week before him and I went a late night slow walk around the block a couple times.

    #5. My tips:

    Don't ever ever isolate your man.... Don't let him feel or even think for a second that you don't need or want him I'm sure you wouldn't like if he did that to you. He may not be 100% ready to commit to a lifestyle change but he will never commit if you put him in the category of incapable, unwilling, and uncommitted.

    Try to believe that your husband is not jealous, but more intrigued by your new physique and wants to see your Booty bounce while you walk, and be the guy to say that’s my lady.---guys say look don't matter and they don't...but when they can see that hourglass shape coming back they can't help but notice.

    Whether you like it or not.... a husband who Yaks a lot is better than one who doesn't say anything at all. He is obviously interested in you still so don't push him away or make him feel that you are not interested in him.

    When My husband first starting working out with me at my class I found it as an opportunity to teach him what we do, show him what I am capable of, and then once he was acclimated to the class we started a friendly competition together related around the class. i.e.: who could do more 50 side to side crunches in 1 minute. Now we reward each other with prizes when we win. Last night I won a backrub because in class I did more box jumps.

    Anyhow that was way longer than I was going to write but I hope you read it. I just thought you needed more… I assumed that you are new to the game of fitness just by reading your post. If you need support or a new pal you may add me.

    Hannah
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    "my husband is jealous"
    "he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
    "he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
    "I enjoy the time by myself"
    "I don't want him there yakking away at me"
    "without driving myself batty?"

    Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.

    Truth. If I was him I'd be glad she didn't want my company.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    Options
    Normally I am not one to agree with everyone but today I agree with every post on here some could have been worded a little nicer but the point is what I agreed with. Before I shed out too much advice I want to say congrats on your weight loss and determination! It is an awesome success.

    1. I don't see where you husband is jealous... unless he is jealous of the alone time you are getting through your walks

    2. I agree that time to yourself is extremely vital. Exercise for many is about self-determination, conquering a goal with the only competition being yourself, and obtaining that goal knowing YOU were the one who got yourself there. I have alone time exercising and don’t plan on sharing that time.

    3. Find something physical you can do together... walks are nice in the evening after dinner and it will give him time to talk to you and ask about your day... maybe find a different topic each night to talk about on a walk (keep it light conversation, not politics that might upset the walk)... you might be surprised what you learn about each other and yourself. If it isn't an after dinner walk try making every Saturday morning your together walk.

    4. Sounds like your husband actually wants to be involved in your journey – that is why we get married so that the journey whether it is fitness or life in general isn’t spent 100% alone.... he is probably proud of you and wants to find a way to be a part of the pride. OR…he wants to be physically healthy but feels he can't do it alone and without saying that he needs you he is just trying to join you.... whether or not guys admit it they seem to like to do these types of activities with people. I very rarely see a guy at the gym alone, but I see women alone frequently.

    Here are my tips and what my husband and I do to get alone and together time.

    #1. I have a gym membership: so with that I attend the gym 6 days a week where cardio and weights are a part of my routine. I have 3 classes a week where I spend time with mostly women and we bond through fitness and the other 3 days I work out alone. 1 class a week my husband joins me so that we may be active together. Plus it a guy style class so he feels comfortable going because other buddies of his go too making it a fun thing to do with friends and my husband.

    #2. My husband and his cousin work out 5 days a week together. Which gives him guy time. My gym time and his gym time are at the same time of day but in different places so that we still spend the same hours at home together with our kids.

    #3. Every night until the weather makes it impossible. We take our kids on a bike ride for no less than 1 hour. Our rides include getting off and throwing rocks into the river, looking for different bugs (I have boys), and when I am lucky one of them will pick me a flower.

    #4. Every Sunday is date time with my hubby so no matter what we have a date... just this Sunday we had a date in the back yard and did 20 minutes of stretching together while our boys played on the swing set. The week before him and I went a late night slow walk around the block a couple times.

    #5. My tips:

    Don't ever ever isolate your man.... Don't let him feel or even think for a second that you don't need or want him I'm sure you wouldn't like if he did that to you. He may not be 100% ready to commit to a lifestyle change but he will never commit if you put him in the category of incapable, unwilling, and uncommitted.

    Try to believe that your husband is not jealous, but more intrigued by your new physique and wants to see your Booty bounce while you walk, and be the guy to say that’s my lady.---guys say look don't matter and they don't...but when they can see that hourglass shape coming back they can't help but notice.

    Whether you like it or not.... a husband who Yaks a lot is better than one who doesn't say anything at all. He is obviously interested in you still so don't push him away or make him feel that you are not interested in him.

    When My husband first starting working out with me at my class I found it as an opportunity to teach him what we do, show him what I am capable of, and then once he was acclimated to the class we started a friendly competition together related around the class. i.e.: who could do more 50 side to side crunches in 1 minute. Now we reward each other with prizes when we win. Last night I won a backrub because in class I did more box jumps.

    Anyhow that was way longer than I was going to write but I hope you read it. I just thought you needed more… I assumed that you are new to the game of fitness just by reading your post. If you need support or a new pal you may add me.

    Hannah

    ^^ A beautiful, wise post.

    My husband I used to walk together in a beautiful area all the time. Sometimes he drove me crazy because he would talk nonstop. I never told him to stop talking because he had incurable cancer and I knew one day I would never hear him again. Now that he's gone, I would give anything to hear his voice again.

    Your husband doesn't sound jealous. Find something you can do together and let him be part of this new chapter in your life. Be friends.