Too weak for push-ups?

Incline Pushups should be well suited for you. Inverted Rows would also work well if you can find something at a good height.

Using light dumbbells for bench pressing would also be a good start. You're aiming for strength, so through trial and error find a weight that you can do for 5 reps while struggling on the final rep. Do this over 3-5 sets, and then the next workout choose a slightly higher weight. Your body will adapt faster than you think.

FYI, six months ago I couldn't do a single pushup. If I even tried I just fell. At this point I only do pushups if I'm supersetting (doing them back to back with no rest) with some bench press variation; otherwise, they would do nothing for me. Strength comes with time, commitment and persistence.

can you do planks? like holding your body on your elbows and toes? Maybe doing planks and increasing your endurance(time) will help at least get your body more used to the posture and build your core and shoulders a bit to help you out with a push up?

Do girl pushups from your knees until you build up your body strength.

I second the advice re incline push-ups. Start with your arms quite high up the wall, so it's fairly easy, then once you can do ten like that, do the same with your hands a little lower, or on the side of a coffee table or something.

Another way to make push-ups easier is to have your knees on the floor.

when you can do 10 push-ups, you make them a little bit more difficult and train until you can do ten. Then make them more difficult... until you can do 10 full push-ups. Then there are ways to make them even more difficult, like doing them with your feet on a raised surface, one arm push-ups and many variations. the basic principle is start with something relatively easy, when you can do ten, you make it a little bit more difficult, then repeat.

one thing that's important is to make sure your back is straight and your lower back/pelvis is not sagging towards the floor, as this isn't good for your back. If that happens,you need to do an easier variety for a while until your core strength increases, and there are exercises to increase core strength, e.g. planks (or easier varieties of planks if the full plank isn't possible yet)

Thanks guys! I'll definitely give incline pushups a try! (Although I may feel a little silly!)
quick question though; what's an inverted row?

Check out these - if you scroll down, it give you alternates if you can't do the standard pushup or the girl version.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/02/15/proper-push-up/

It sounds really quite sad, but I really am far to weak to perform even a single push-up. Yes, even the variety where you're on your knees. My arms just don't have the strength in them, and give out less than halfway up (or down). I can't even hold the starting position for more than 60 seconds.
My upper-body strength is genuinely horrific, but I was always told that to improve your upper-body strength you must first do push-ups, and as a complete novice in the whole fitness thing I don't really know what alternative there is? Like, is there a particular type of dumbbell lift thingy I should be doing?
idk. I'm lost on all this, and I hate being weak, so if any of you fitness fans would give me a push in the right direction, I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks!

Hey there! I'm in the same boat, but I'm seeing improvement. I do them on my knees and I go down as far as I can and repeat 15 times. The first couple times I only made it down about an inch (if that) and I was sweating like you would not believe. But now I find that I can go a little bit further each time. My goal is a full out pushup by the end of the year. haha!

It sounds really quite sad, but I really am far to weak to perform even a single push-up. Yes, even the variety where you're on your knees. My arms just don't have the strength in them, and give out less than halfway up (or down). I can't even hold the starting position for more than 60 seconds.
My upper-body strength is genuinely horrific, but I was always told that to improve your upper-body strength you must first do push-ups, and as a complete novice in the whole fitness thing I don't really know what alternative there is? Like, is there a particular type of dumbbell lift thingy I should be doing?
idk. I'm lost on all this, and I hate being weak, so if any of you fitness fans would give me a push in the right direction, I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks!

You'll probably find that weak core strength is one of the greatest contributing factors to poor push-up performance. Work on planks daily - aim to totally engage the area around belt level and fully engage your glutes (imagine your bum-cheeks dimpling inwards). Work on holding this for longer and longer (time yourself). Also try ab walkouts - where you start in a plank go into downward dog and then slowly walk your hands back towards your feet a few inches at a time, fully engaging your abs and trying not to have any side-to-side movement. Hands back to feet and then out to plank again is one rep. Try to add a rep every couple of days and slow down the walking part as you get better.

Along with the above, try push ups every other day and try adding an extra rep every so often. You'll be surprised how quickly you improve with consistent and diligent practice. Time and hard work grasshopper!