Master Cleanse???

Cleanse by bathsheba_c

To cleanse or not to cleanse? That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of non-specific toxins
Or to take arms against a sea of imagined bowel obstructions
And by opposing, perforate one's colon. To juice; to detox;
No more; and by a detox to say we end
The pH and the balance of intestinal flora
That guts are heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be avoided. To juice; to detox;
To detox: perchance to puke: aye, there's the rub;
For in the pangs of indigestion what side-effects may come
When we go and leave our undies soiled.

Oh my god that was beautiful.

Everyone is going to rip my head off for this one....

Ive done it a few times and LOVED it. I think Ive done it 3 times in the past few years (10 days max each), and Ive never looked at it as a weight loss thing. I love the way it makes me feel and I always have better results from losing weight afterwards. Im not saying its a good idea, or it will magically make you drop pounds...Im just saying what my experience is from it.

So this thread is just full of people who like to do their same calorie deficit with the extra challenge of not pooping oneself?

If you are into things like starving yourself, yo-yo dieting, and endangering your health... By all means go for it.

This.

My favorite thing about the Master Cleanse is the chapter in the book where they talk about how you don't need protein because your body can convert the nitrogen from the air in to protein.

Okay, so I had to look up this one. According to the developer of the Master Cleanse, Stanley Burroughs, since the main elements of proteins (oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, etc.) are in the air we breath, the bacteria in our bodies can turn this air into proteins. BOGUS. BOGUS. BOGUS.

Now indeed, you will find scientific sites talking about "conversion of nitrogen to protein" but they are talking about the standard method of determining protein content which is to measure the nitrogen content of a foodstuff and multiply that measurement by a constant to get an approximation of the amount of protein present.

Master Cleanse's own site tells you to go to the doctor first and no doctor worth his salt would RECOMMEND this. They may waffle in their response when you ask them to avoid saying something actionable but they are not going to recommend this sort of imbalanced eating.

Ahhh, the sweet, sweet joys of nutrient deficiency. I can't imagine what kind of person WOULDN'T want to do a cleanse. Who needs macro and micro nutrients, anyway? Not you, OP. Not you.

Do it!!1!!11!!

The Master Cleanse lemonade, combined with pure air, provides all the nutrients your body needs.

It is extremely important to use only organic cayenne pepper. And Grade B maple syrup. Grade A is not clean, because it has been too processed (processing makes it refined and unclean). And you must use organic lemons, they purify your blood and liver.

Right? Do I have it right?

I got desperate and did it once, probably about six years ago or so, because I was looking for a quick fix and I read in a tabloid that Beyonce had done it and lost a lot of weight. This was back in the day before I could be bothered to learn how to lose weight safely. About three or four days in, I got really sick and had to stop. It was one of the more horrible experiences of my life, and it was self-inflicted. I'd never recommend it to anyone in good conscience.

I had another friend who did it as well (maybe five years ago, I think) and video blogged about it each day. I don't remember the web address, but I do remember watching her look sicker and weaker by the day until she finally quit.

It's up to you, of course, but I think there are healthier ways to lose weight. As for the 'cleansing' aspect, eat more fibre and drink more water, and your body will take care of that itself.

ETA: OOOH! I just thought of the ONE good thing that came from the Master Cleanse: I learned about senna leaf tea. I always keep some in the house now, in case I need to get stuff... ahem... moving along. It's a nice natural alternative to laxatives. I don't drink it very often, but it has come in handy time and again.

NEWS FLASH!!!!!

Pay attention now.......

DRINK WATER!!

There are healthy ways to cleanse the body. Honestly, everyone needs to stop with the smartass, nasty and mean comments. This is supposed to be a place to support, motivate, encourage and inform one another in a KIND way. If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all!!!

soap? You're talking about soap, right? Shampoo?

There are healthy ways to cleanse the body. Honestly, everyone needs to stop with the smartass, nasty and mean comments. This is supposed to be a place to support, motivate, encourage and inform one another in a KIND way. If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all!!!

Ah, but if we're here to support, motivate, and encourage one another, then that would include shooting down dangerous ideas and letting the OP know that it's ridiculous. Or I guess we could all just encourage terrible ideas in the name of being "nice." Right? Or not say anything at all, because if the OP wants to do something that has no basis in science whatsoever and which has resulted in other people getting sick, it is probably the best thing to do to just sit back and say nothing. Right. Gotcha.

^ What she said. If someome wanted so start eating 500 calories a day, we would support that person with some tough love and tell them that it is a bad idea.

no.

The best way to see how your body is cleansing is to eat corn. If corn comes out, your body is cleansing.
Corn doesn't come out, see a doctor.

Drinking water cleanses the body. Drinking water is healthy.

You can tell someone they are being unhealthy in a NICE way without belittling them. Some people are just genuinely uniformed or misinformed and you can inform them without making them feel stupid.

You don't need to be a jerk and make others feel unintelligent or inferior to get your point across.

Well, then you get a bunch of people being nice saying, yeah, I did it, it was great. And a bunch of people being nice saying, it's not healthy, don't do it. And the person is undecided because they might get 50/50 response and still not be convinced that it is really bad. Being abrupt about it and saying HECK NO, that deters more people saying they did it and it was great, so therefore, less convincing anecdotal evidence for the unhealthy side, and more likely the person will get the point quite quickly that it's a bad idea. We're doing them a favor doing it this way, by saving them time and uncertainty.

Try leeches. Much better for cleansing the body of evil.

This is unnecessary sarcasm. The OP was simply asking for advice. Just say "no, its not a good idea". Or don't post. Posts like this make me not even want to use MFP

How do we really know if sarcasm is necessary or not? Is there a formula or rule or something?

Try leeches. Much better for cleansing the body of evil.

This is unnecessary sarcasm. The OP was simply asking for advice. Just say "no, its not a good idea". Or don't post. Posts like this make me not even want to use MFP

My point exactly, thank you! You can say "HECK NO, it's really not a good idea at all..." and not add in all the demeaning comments that make you feel totally stupid for asking in the first place. They will get the point. And being nice doesn't mean you have to say what a great idea something is if it isn't. It is possible to be both honest and kind.