Husband calling me fat?

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workoutgirl23
workoutgirl23 Posts: 267
in Motivation and Support
My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.
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Replies

  • scootinalong
    scootinalong Posts: 26
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    In my honest opinion, I would say "No, he should not be". He is thinking of himself more than you.
    He should also realize that you are combating a medical issue with the thyroid being removed and this causing your weight gain.
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
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    Is he calling you fat or just telling you he is not physically attracted to you? If the latter is it in a matter of fact way or is he going on and on? Is he refusing sex?

    I ask these questions because my husband was upfront with me and let me know that my weight was making it hard for him to be physically attracted to me. He was not being mean. He was expressing a concern that affected us as a couple. He still loved me and we still had a sex life but I needed to know what my weight was doing to his desire.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    You look good to me! You need to tell him how terrible he is making you feel and he should be more compassionate about what you are going through. A Thyroid is no joke and he needs to know that.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    No of course he's not right for calling you that. It's mean. He seems to mean it in a mean way too. Just know that you are under whatever is going on still that same girl you remember being and just ignore his insults and get back to that. Try to get more positive people than however much it hurts you but just know that positive is stronger than negative so even if you only found ONE supportive friend on here who you only spoke to once a week it would outweigh no matter how many times you have to hear that. You are everything you think you are. So think I'm skinny and eat that way and exercise that way and act that way. And when he say's you're fat, reply in your mind, "No, I'm not, I'm skinny just a little illness has interfered momentarily it's a shame your eyes can't see that but mine can."
  • bubblygoldfish
    bubblygoldfish Posts: 213 Member
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    Tell him that he is making you feel bad. Let him know that you want his support in being healthy. His criticism is unnecessary, and painful. Sweety, i wish you the best of luck. This is a diffficult situation.
  • kimbtaylor1
    kimbtaylor1 Posts: 210 Member
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    My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.

    I know how you feel. My husband didn't start calling me fat until I started loosing weight. Before he just wouldn't touch me but eye ball every skinny minny around. Now, I think he thinks it's cute or funny to tell me I have a fat a$% but it still hurts. I may have lost a lot of weight but I have more to go and it feels like he doesn't even notice. But what I have found that helps is when he makes these comments I'll sugest he starts coming to the gym with me to show me what I'm doing wrong. I love him, but has some work to do if he was honest with himself! Of course he refuses to even go on walks with me. But that will shut him up for a while. Feel free to friend me, men can sometimes be complete idots and we can support each other with dealing with ours.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
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    I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people
  • kimbtaylor1
    kimbtaylor1 Posts: 210 Member
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    I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people

    ^^^^^^^^^^^This is awesome!^^^^^^^^^^^^
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.

    Jealousy/fear. He probably sees that you're trying to improve yourself as most people on this website are, and it threatens him.

    He sounds very insecure. Remember, it is usually the insecure among us that wants to make us feel badly. Non-insecure people have no reason to do that.
  • Bridgetthegre
    Bridgetthegre Posts: 85 Member
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    That's just plain mean. I don't know your situation, but I have to say, maybe you should at least consider losing 160 pounds or so of ugly. And that ugly would be HIM.

    Seriously. He should not be saying that. If losing him is too drastic, I recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go. At least you can discuss options with the counselor.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
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    I would comment on his penis size. The point being if you have thyroid issues and are working on them you do not have much fault in the matter. Maybe he could improve his manhood! YEA
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    That sorry dirty sumumma biscuit eater. How dare he be judgemental of you. I am sure that as his wife you have tolerated more crap from this guy than you should ever have had to put up with and to have him tell you that you are unattractive and fat and he isnt attracted to you anymore. What a douche!
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
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    My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.

    I know how you feel. My husband didn't start calling me fat until I started loosing weight. Before he just wouldn't touch me but eye ball every skinny minny around. Now, I think he thinks it's cute or funny to tell me I have a fat a$% but it still hurts. I may have lost a lot of weight but I have more to go and it feels like he doesn't even notice. But what I have found that helps is when he makes these comments I'll sugest he starts coming to the gym with me to show me what I'm doing wrong. I love him, but has some work to do if he was honest with himself! Of course he refuses to even go on walks with me. But that will shut him up for a while. Feel free to friend me, men can sometimes be complete idots and we can support each other with dealing with ours.
    You love someone like this? What would happen if you were disfigured in some way? He sounds like a real gem!
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    That's just plain mean. I don't know your situation, but I have to say, maybe you should at least consider losing 160 pounds or so of ugly. And that ugly would be HIM.

    Seriously. He should not be saying that. If losing him is too drastic, I recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go. At least you can discuss options with the counselor.

    haha, indeed. The fastest weightloss would be him, obviously, but I understand that since she has kids and all, that's not really practical.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
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    That's just plain mean. I don't know your situation, but I have to say, maybe you should at least consider losing 160 pounds or so of ugly. And that ugly would be HIM.

    Seriously. He should not be saying that. If losing him is too drastic, I recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go. At least you can discuss options with the counselor.

    haha, indeed. The fastest weightloss would be him, obviously, but I understand that since she has kids and all, that's not really practical.
    having kids especially boys is a perfect reason to get rid of him. He obviously does not truly love her anyway.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    If your profile photo is a current picture, you look great... and very slender. There is no way you could be considered fat.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    If your profile photo is a current picture, you look great... and very slender. There is no way you could be considered fat.

    Exactly. It just sounds like he's being verbally abusive because he's an *kitten*.
  • MaggieMaeB
    MaggieMaeB Posts: 17
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    If you have had your thyroid removed you've gone through and are going through a very difficult time physically and emotionally. If he can't be supportive and compassionate - DO NOT START BLAMING YOURSELF - you are not in this world to meet his expectations. If it continues you need to seek the advice and support of a mental health professional (hopefully he'll join you).
  • oOxXxOo
    oOxXxOo Posts: 75 Member
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    I assume this is the same man who asked you for a divorce.. in a text message no less.
    GREAT guy.
    I agree with the other posters, time to ditch the asshat.
  • demarii06
    demarii06 Posts: 340 Member
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    Uhmmm in your last post u said he just left you and wanted a divorce and you're too depressed to eat. So which story are we suppose to believe?

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