Husband calling me fat?
workoutgirl23
Posts: 267
My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.
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Replies
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In my honest opinion, I would say "No, he should not be". He is thinking of himself more than you.
He should also realize that you are combating a medical issue with the thyroid being removed and this causing your weight gain.0 -
Is he calling you fat or just telling you he is not physically attracted to you? If the latter is it in a matter of fact way or is he going on and on? Is he refusing sex?
I ask these questions because my husband was upfront with me and let me know that my weight was making it hard for him to be physically attracted to me. He was not being mean. He was expressing a concern that affected us as a couple. He still loved me and we still had a sex life but I needed to know what my weight was doing to his desire.0 -
You look good to me! You need to tell him how terrible he is making you feel and he should be more compassionate about what you are going through. A Thyroid is no joke and he needs to know that.0
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No of course he's not right for calling you that. It's mean. He seems to mean it in a mean way too. Just know that you are under whatever is going on still that same girl you remember being and just ignore his insults and get back to that. Try to get more positive people than however much it hurts you but just know that positive is stronger than negative so even if you only found ONE supportive friend on here who you only spoke to once a week it would outweigh no matter how many times you have to hear that. You are everything you think you are. So think I'm skinny and eat that way and exercise that way and act that way. And when he say's you're fat, reply in your mind, "No, I'm not, I'm skinny just a little illness has interfered momentarily it's a shame your eyes can't see that but mine can."0
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Tell him that he is making you feel bad. Let him know that you want his support in being healthy. His criticism is unnecessary, and painful. Sweety, i wish you the best of luck. This is a diffficult situation.0
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My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.
I know how you feel. My husband didn't start calling me fat until I started loosing weight. Before he just wouldn't touch me but eye ball every skinny minny around. Now, I think he thinks it's cute or funny to tell me I have a fat a$% but it still hurts. I may have lost a lot of weight but I have more to go and it feels like he doesn't even notice. But what I have found that helps is when he makes these comments I'll sugest he starts coming to the gym with me to show me what I'm doing wrong. I love him, but has some work to do if he was honest with himself! Of course he refuses to even go on walks with me. But that will shut him up for a while. Feel free to friend me, men can sometimes be complete idots and we can support each other with dealing with ours.0 -
I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people0
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I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people
^^^^^^^^^^^This is awesome!^^^^^^^^^^^^0 -
My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.
Jealousy/fear. He probably sees that you're trying to improve yourself as most people on this website are, and it threatens him.
He sounds very insecure. Remember, it is usually the insecure among us that wants to make us feel badly. Non-insecure people have no reason to do that.0 -
That's just plain mean. I don't know your situation, but I have to say, maybe you should at least consider losing 160 pounds or so of ugly. And that ugly would be HIM.
Seriously. He should not be saying that. If losing him is too drastic, I recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go. At least you can discuss options with the counselor.0 -
I would comment on his penis size. The point being if you have thyroid issues and are working on them you do not have much fault in the matter. Maybe he could improve his manhood! YEA0
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That sorry dirty sumumma biscuit eater. How dare he be judgemental of you. I am sure that as his wife you have tolerated more crap from this guy than you should ever have had to put up with and to have him tell you that you are unattractive and fat and he isnt attracted to you anymore. What a douche!0
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You love someone like this? What would happen if you were disfigured in some way? He sounds like a real gem!My husband has been calling me fat lately and making me feel so bad about myself. I used to be the skinniest girl ever when we were dating and got married. and now just in the past year, i had my thyroid removed and was having issues getting my meds regulated. so i put on some weight and was having a hard time losing. i'm working on it again now and determined to get back down to my skinny self. but it makes me mad. my husband should be supportive and love me no matter what. but instead he likes to tell me that he's not physically attracted to me since i'm not his usual small, skinny type any more. hurtful. i feel very ugly. Is this right that he is telling me how he feels about my looks lately, cuz he is being honest i guess? but its just hurt ful.
I know how you feel. My husband didn't start calling me fat until I started loosing weight. Before he just wouldn't touch me but eye ball every skinny minny around. Now, I think he thinks it's cute or funny to tell me I have a fat a$% but it still hurts. I may have lost a lot of weight but I have more to go and it feels like he doesn't even notice. But what I have found that helps is when he makes these comments I'll sugest he starts coming to the gym with me to show me what I'm doing wrong. I love him, but has some work to do if he was honest with himself! Of course he refuses to even go on walks with me. But that will shut him up for a while. Feel free to friend me, men can sometimes be complete idots and we can support each other with dealing with ours.0 -
That's just plain mean. I don't know your situation, but I have to say, maybe you should at least consider losing 160 pounds or so of ugly. And that ugly would be HIM.
Seriously. He should not be saying that. If losing him is too drastic, I recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go. At least you can discuss options with the counselor.
haha, indeed. The fastest weightloss would be him, obviously, but I understand that since she has kids and all, that's not really practical.0 -
having kids especially boys is a perfect reason to get rid of him. He obviously does not truly love her anyway.That's just plain mean. I don't know your situation, but I have to say, maybe you should at least consider losing 160 pounds or so of ugly. And that ugly would be HIM.
Seriously. He should not be saying that. If losing him is too drastic, I recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go. At least you can discuss options with the counselor.
haha, indeed. The fastest weightloss would be him, obviously, but I understand that since she has kids and all, that's not really practical.0 -
If your profile photo is a current picture, you look great... and very slender. There is no way you could be considered fat.0
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If your profile photo is a current picture, you look great... and very slender. There is no way you could be considered fat.
Exactly. It just sounds like he's being verbally abusive because he's an *kitten*.0 -
If you have had your thyroid removed you've gone through and are going through a very difficult time physically and emotionally. If he can't be supportive and compassionate - DO NOT START BLAMING YOURSELF - you are not in this world to meet his expectations. If it continues you need to seek the advice and support of a mental health professional (hopefully he'll join you).0
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I assume this is the same man who asked you for a divorce.. in a text message no less.
GREAT guy.
I agree with the other posters, time to ditch the asshat.0 -
Uhmmm in your last post u said he just left you and wanted a divorce and you're too depressed to eat. So which story are we suppose to believe?0
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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1054186-depressed-why-is-my-body-starving-myself
OP this is a recent post where you say your husband is deployed and asked for a divorce. What are you trying to get from these threds?0 -
So he broke up your marriage through text, you're not eating, yet you're still worried he's calling you fat? I'm not entirely sure if this is a trolling thread.0
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Shouldn't your husband or anyone's for that matter, love the person who they're with no matter what happens later in life0
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I think both of you need a hug. You are dealing with the throid and he is dealing with losing physical attraction to his wife. My heart breaks for both of you.
What will happen as as you both age? As wrinkles come?
I spoke to a VERY wise and happily married man on this site to learn the secrets of marriage. He said marriage comes down to always putting the other person first. It is unconditional love where you give with no expectation of receiving.
I wish you and your husband the best.0 -
See a counselor. He needs to know that you're serious about how you feel, and he needs someone who is not you that can point out his flaws.
If you try to handle it yourself, it sounds like it may only turn uglier.
If it were me and my husband, I would tell him that I was going to leave him if he kept being unsupportive of me and violating his wedding vows (in sickness and in health). Tell him that he can be part of the problem or part of the solution, and that he's being immature and egocentric. But, I'm a woman who aims straight for the jugular...so a neutral third party would probably be best.0 -
Yeah I'm sensing trolling too but in trying to give the benefit of doubt.0
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My husband is in the military he was gone for a few weeks of his annual training. He did ask me for a divorce, then came home and changed his mind .that is true. i'm not making stuff up.0
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I'm not a troll. he texted me he wanted to separate. and then he came home, and said he was really sorry and wanted to make our marriage work.0
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Michelle if your current profile pic is current than your husband needs a new set of eyes.
I hate it when men, especially a husband, belittle their wife, especially over weight.
You've have health issues.
You've had two children, what a year apart?
You are doing a great job to regain your health and get control of your weight.
Don't let his hateful, hurtful words eat at you; but by all means ... speak up and tell him how he is making you feel. Not by attacking him; but by saying "when you say I am fat I feel _______" .0 -
I'm not a troll. he texted me he wanted to separate. and then he came home, and said he was really sorry and wanted to make our marriage work.
I took the time to have a read through some of the older posts you have posted. I don't think you are a troll, but from the sounds of it Prozac, Thyroid, Anxiety, being a SAHM with 2 small children, previously alluding to pre-eating disorder possibilites, & the recent divorce statement. It does sound like you have a LOT going on & have for the past 12-18mths.
I'm not wanting to sound critical or harsh, but it may be helpful for you to seek some more professional support/help than just putting these things out there on threads.0
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