Need Advice - Not Fitness Related

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Replies

  • RobTheGourmet
    RobTheGourmet Posts: 189 Member
    You recommended she cut her losses, but nothing about marriage counseling to try and work things out??

    The American way though Scatteredthou get married on a whim and then divorce shortly after :X

    WTF? I'm American and I would never do this nor would anyone I know. Don't base your opinions on what Americans supposedly do by what you read in the tabloids or see on TV.

    Geez! I can't believe I actually have to point this out to someone.:grumble:

    perhaps look at statistics and sociological studies by US university's, this is fact not some tabloid or propaganda by US media and I live in the US..
  • wswilliams67
    wswilliams67 Posts: 938 Member
    1) It's none of your business so stay out of it as far as giving advice. Be an ear to listen, but avoid offering 'solutions'. Unless it starts to adversely affect your business, this is her mess to deal with.

    2) Men get married hoping she will never change, women get married hoping he will. This is a recipe for disaster.

    3) Sounds like they are two individuals in a marriage, not a team trying to resolve issues. The first year of marriage is the hardest and if they went into it without having everything on the table then they are both at fault.

    Bottom line, other than listening to some venting (which should not be an ongoing occurrence) keep your mouth shut.
  • svr1964
    svr1964 Posts: 4
    I'd say forgive yourself and move on...you can't take back what you said and never meant for it to be repeated to her husband. There have been times I've listened so long to so much, I'd have said the same thing. As for worrying about what he thinks, I'd guess he's got so many other things on his mind he either isn't thinking of what was said at all, or he won't be for long. Good luck~
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
    If things seem fine then I would leave them be, but the next time she begins to tell you about her marital issues you should probably tell her "look, we're business partners, we're friends, and I think that you sharing your marital problems with me could destroy both- I want to support you, but I just don't think these are details you should share with me, if you need emotional support I can give you that, but I don't want to hear about your arguments with your spouse"

    and as a person who has worked in marriage counseling, it does not sound hopeful- they need professional help to get this situation worked out and move on in a healthier marriage and it will take a LOT of work from both of them to accomplish that
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    Your business partner sounds like a really toxic person, never mind her husband. She's been privately venting to you, so you told her your opinion, so she took revenge on you.

    The tipoff was the drama queen stuff. She married someone with major problems and instead of going to counseling with him, she rags on him to someone else, which will solve nothing. People like that are almost always a disaster.
  • lostdogg
    lostdogg Posts: 450 Member
    Take your own advice.

    Cut your losses.

    Then move on and think real hard before giving marital advice again. If someone comes at you in the future with complaints of an SO, tell them to talk to a counselor and leave you out.

    Hope you get everything worked out
  • kendunn579
    kendunn579 Posts: 391 Member
    I have a friend who had some relationship problems and I listened to him whenever he wanted to talk about it. I empathised, but I never gave advice. Advice is never taken in relationship problems anyway.

    Rule of thumb, being a friend is about listening and not butting in.

    My answer to your question is to say sorry to your business partner to clear the air and let them work things out for themselves. Just keep listening and empathising when you can.
  • NYactor1
    NYactor1 Posts: 9,642 Member
    Cut your losses, find a new business partner. People who make bad personal decisions have been known to make bad professional decisions.
  • fShaw86
    fShaw86 Posts: 878 Member
    People are gonna talk smack whether you say anything or don't. Even if you HADN'T said anything, you'd have been accused of not saying anything.

    Also, couples, parents-children, families and stuff.. no matter how hard people fight, they will always resent a third party's advice. I've seen it happen more than once. Advise an angry son in a mother-son fight, and he'll go tell his mom and they'll be okay, and will blame you for everything that happened.
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    FFS harsh much?!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    This is what happens when you give unasked for marriage advice. It does not end well.
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
    You have said your peace about it, let it go. But if your friend brings up anything having to do with her marriage tell her you do not want to talk about it. The end. There is nothing more you can say that will help out the situation, so just tell her to keep it to herself you're not interested in her drama anymore.

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