Most Uncomfortable / Hardest Part Of Being Overweight
trackmyday1973
Posts: 393 Member
Hello,
I thought I would create a thread and ask what you find to be the hardest part of being overweight. Myself, I am just embarassed of having to carry all this extra weight on me. In public, I feel like people are staring. I feel people cannot sit next to me on the bus because I spill over onto the next seat almost.
I haven't even dated in 7 years because of my weight. I find I have to "prepare" the person by disclosing my weight to them even without asking..... and when I do....they tell me they are not comfortable dating someone that is in the 200's.
I feel I have burnt all of my 30's being overweight, and not living life the way I want to. And why????? because of FOOD.
I just turned 40 this year (June 20), and I said to myself enough is enough. I don't want to spend my 40's and 50's the same way.....
I thought I would ask what about being overweight refrains you from living life. How has it "crippled" you.
Thanks.
I thought I would create a thread and ask what you find to be the hardest part of being overweight. Myself, I am just embarassed of having to carry all this extra weight on me. In public, I feel like people are staring. I feel people cannot sit next to me on the bus because I spill over onto the next seat almost.
I haven't even dated in 7 years because of my weight. I find I have to "prepare" the person by disclosing my weight to them even without asking..... and when I do....they tell me they are not comfortable dating someone that is in the 200's.
I feel I have burnt all of my 30's being overweight, and not living life the way I want to. And why????? because of FOOD.
I just turned 40 this year (June 20), and I said to myself enough is enough. I don't want to spend my 40's and 50's the same way.....
I thought I would ask what about being overweight refrains you from living life. How has it "crippled" you.
Thanks.
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Replies
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I think the hardest part of being overweight (obese) has been the social stigma attached to it. This was especially hard during high school. I think the physical strain on my body has been hard as well. All-in-all, I have many reasons to lose the weight, and I intend to lose it (I'm on my way!!).0
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first off I would just like to say that I looked at ur pictures and I think ur beautiful!
Secondly , I dont look at having excess weight as being crippled, Im not sure it has really crippled my life so to speak , its made things somewhat uncomfortable for the same reasons you mentioned above, but I like to look at my weight as a work in progress , something that can be fixed.
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I live in Colorado which happens to always be in the top 3 of the 'Fittest States' list that comes out yearly. On top of that, I work at a company where the employees ages average 30 years old , and the majority of them are very fit. The men all have nice broad shoulders, killer chests and flat stomachs. The women seem to average a 24 inch waist...
Being a size 9/10 (my highest being a size 12), I'm far from the being the heaviest person there, and I know that maybe some of you might be rolling your eyes, but I still sometimes feel out of place in meetings and company social events.0 -
first off I would just like to say that I looked at ur pictures and I think ur beautiful!
Secondly , I dont look at having excess weight as being crippled, Im not sure it has really crippled my life so to speak , its made things somewhat uncomfortable for the same reasons you mentioned above, but I like to look at my weight as a work in progress , something that can be fixed.
Thank you so much That was very nice of you to say.
I have been very overweight practically my whole life. I was thin from 20 to 28....then fell into a deep depression and turned to food. Boy was I wrong turning to food. It makes things worse.
I am always afraid everyday. I am afraid I will binge anytime I am bored, lonely, or even upset or depressed. I am working on not turning to food for comfort.
This is a lifetime journey. I must remember that.
God Bless us all.0 -
first off I would just like to say that I looked at ur pictures and I think ur beautiful!
Secondly , I dont look at having excess weight as being crippled, Im not sure it has really crippled my life so to speak , its made things somewhat uncomfortable for the same reasons you mentioned above, but I like to look at my weight as a work in progress , something that can be fixed.
Thank you so much That was very nice of you to say.
I have been very overweight practically my whole life. I was thin from 20 to 28....then fell into a deep depression and turned to food. Boy was I wrong turning to food. It makes things worse.
I am always afraid everyday. I am afraid I will binge anytime I am bored, lonely, or even upset or depressed. I am working on not turning to food for comfort.
This is a lifetime journey. I must remember that.
God Bless us all.
It's great that you joined MFP, as there are so many supportive people on here and will help you and keep you motivated. You can do this!!
Feel free to add me as a friend. I'm on daily and try to be as supportive as possible!0 -
Well people assume I eat **** food constantly to be heavy I have some serious health problems incl thyroid disorder that isnt well controlled by medication. I literally gained over 100lbs after my second child in less than six month, exclusively breastfeeding him and watching calories carefully. I watch what I eat on here and exercise but lose very slowly and often look like i regain because of edema. My kids eat the more junky stuff than I do and theyre very very fit.0
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first off I would just like to say that I looked at ur pictures and I think ur beautiful!
Secondly , I dont look at having excess weight as being crippled, Im not sure it has really crippled my life so to speak , its made things somewhat uncomfortable for the same reasons you mentioned above, but I like to look at my weight as a work in progress , something that can be fixed.
Thank you so much That was very nice of you to say.
I have been very overweight practically my whole life. I was thin from 20 to 28....then fell into a deep depression and turned to food. Boy was I wrong turning to food. It makes things worse.
I am always afraid everyday. I am afraid I will binge anytime I am bored, lonely, or even upset or depressed. I am working on not turning to food for comfort.
This is a lifetime journey. I must remember that.
God Bless us all.
It's great that you joined MFP, as there are so many supportive people on here and will help you and keep you motivated. You can do this!!
Feel free to add me as a friend. I'm on daily and try to be as supportive as possible!
Yes the people are wonderful.
I sent you a friend request.0 -
I, too, have let food absolutely consume me. I am only 20, but I have let myself be directed by food. Instead of having food be a part of my day I tend to revolve around food. I found myself always thinking about my next meal or snack. I decided to take control of my life. I guess in a way, I am still planning out my meals; however, this is only to update MFP and to avoid overeating. I have only been using this site/app for a little over a week, but I can already notice a major improvement in my self-esteem. I only mention that because my self-esteem was the worst part of being overweight my entire time (and arguably is still the worst part). I never wanted to go shopping with friends that I made or go to parties or anything. I was always so embarrassed. I had a lot of friends, but I never wanted to go out and do anything with them. I went to an amusement park with a group of my friends once and I couldn't get the bar to close on a roller coaster. I remember that to this day and still avoid amusement parks. Also, I always think that people are whispering about me being overweight. If people walk past me and are whispering and giggling I always assume that it is because of me. I know that they are probably not doing this, but I can't help but think that they are. I am definitely ready to drop the weight and enjoy my life.0
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I, too, have let food absolutely consume me. I am only 20, but I have let myself be directed by food. Instead of having food be a part of my day I tend to revolve around food. I found myself always thinking about my next meal or snack. I decided to take control of my life. I guess in a way, I am still planning out my meals; however, this is only to update MFP and to avoid overeating. I have only been using this site/app for a little over a week, but I can already notice a major improvement in my self-esteem. I only mention that because my self-esteem was the worst part of being overweight my entire time (and arguably is still the worst part). I never wanted to go shopping with friends that I made or go to parties or anything. I was always so embarrassed. I had a lot of friends, but I never wanted to go out and do anything with them. I went to an amusement park with a group of my friends once and I couldn't get the bar to close on a roller coaster. I remember that to this day and still avoid amusement parks. Also, I always think that people are whispering about me being overweight. If people walk past me and are whispering and giggling I always assume that it is because of me. I know that they are probably not doing this, but I can't help but think that they are. I am definitely ready to drop the weight and enjoy my life.
I can relate.... I never wanted to go shopping with the "thin" friends. I felt so uncomfortable and embarrassed. I chose to stay indoors and eat my pain away. Only thing is...my pain never went away. I feel that we must believe we are important and worthy human beings. If we can see this....then and only then we can focus on getting healthier. Why? because we deserve it just as much as the next person 0 -
I hate that people assume you are lazy and dirty. I gained 60 pounds in less than two months because of a combination of two medications. Granted I stuffed the food in my mouth but not because I am lazy, I was suffering from a debilitating bipolar depression where I didn't leave the house for 8 months.
I also hate dating. I will be 40 in a few months and I swear men are looking for size zero and no brains. Men please correct me!!!0 -
Wow! based on two posts above - the lady in Colorado who is size 9 and maybe that is considered overweight, wow, if I am interpreting that right.. wow... that is rough. Also the OP says that people dont want to date people in the 200's.. wow. just wow.
I think I'd kill myself if I were surrounded with that all the time!!!!!!! how depressing.
anyhoo, im in the 300's and I am far from a size 9, so I wish i were closer to that, but im tall so I might be looking good at size 10... ! I will never be a size 0. haha
my hardest things about being overweight - is the loss of being able to enjoy going places. On vacation for one, and looking for a bench coz my feet hurt after 20 minutes, but hopefully my new shoes will help that. but alot of times I'd love to go walking, outside by Lake Michigan here - beautiful beach, beautiful lakefront, interesting chicago architecture, i just wanna go walking but i have to not go because it will be too hard to walk, so thats the #1 thing I miss, but i am starting to walk some.
the #2 thing is being too tired because of my weight to do things I want to do, like i read about how bikes are made for people up to 250. Wow! so i want to bike outside and enjoy the scenery if i cant walk, i can bike, but i might kill a bike so again i cant ride a bike. grrr.
i can climb up a flight of stairs really, if i do like when the elevator was out, it was tiring, but i CAN now walk down stairs, yay.. so i cannot live in a beautiful apartment that is vintage because i need a building with an elevator.0 -
I hate that people assume you are lazy and dirty. I gained 60 pounds in less than two months because of a combination of two medications. Granted I stuffed the food in my mouth but not because I am lazy, I was suffering from a debilitating bipolar depression where I didn't leave the house for 8 months.
I also hate dating. I will be 40 in a few months and I swear men are looking for size zero and no brains. Men please correct me!!!
I use to take zoloft then switched to prozac/abilify....for my OCD made me think and turn to food a lot. I stopped taking the meds because of the side effects. I was not able to sit still for more than 1 minute while on abilify.
Ya, these guys that want a size zero chick....many of them are overweight themselves....it's like huh?0 -
For my it's clothes shopping. Maybe I sound a little shallow but it's so hard to see something in a store that I think looks cute and then realize they don't have it in my size. I've also noticed that in some stores the sizes are different than in others, so sometimes I'll try something on that says it is my size but it's definitely too small. And I didn't gain 10lbs from taking off my regular clothes and trying this one on. =/ Idk, it's hard to feel pretty after something like that.0
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For my it's clothes shopping. Maybe I sound a little shallow but it's so hard to see something in a store that I think looks cute and then realize they don't have it in my size. I've also noticed that in some stores the sizes are different than in others, so sometimes I'll try something on that says it is my size but it's definitely too small. And I didn't gain 10lbs from taking off my regular clothes and trying this one on. =/ Idk, it's hard to feel pretty after something like that.
I just find that they make prettier clothes for thin people.... just my observation.0 -
In my experience the hardest part about being overweight is that even tough I am no longer technically overweight, I still feel that way...
That is I still feel fat...
I also feel as if I need a million dollars worth of plastic surgery just so that women would find me attractive at all...0 -
Agreed, then you get to your section and it's like " oh look, we'll just through this sack on you and call it fashionable." It's like really?
Er this was suppose to be a direct reply to trackmyday197. I must've messed up. Sorry, not the most tech savy person here!0 -
In my experience the hardest part about being overweight is that even tough I am no longer technically overweight, I still feel that way...
That is I still feel fat...
I also feel as if I need a million dollars worth of plastic surgery just so that women would find me attractive at all...
I can relate to always feeling fat even though you are thin. I once went into a clothing store (when I was thin).... I was looking at size 10 pants...and the lady said... those are too big for me...I need a smaller size...and she was right.... I was a size 6 at that time.0 -
Agreed, then you get to your section and it's like " oh look, we'll just through this sack on you and call it fashionable." It's like really?
Er this was suppose to be a direct reply to trackmyday197. I must've messed up. Sorry, not the most tech savy person here!
I know what you mean. The plus size clothing look like table cloths or bathroom curtains.0 -
-being teased and humiliated most of my life
-feeling like everyone is staring or making fun of me
-feeling like I would break a chair
-not knowing if I would fit in booth at restaurant
-not seeing my penis :sad: :laugh:
I haven't even dated in 7 years because of my weight.
Same here... Glad its over0 -
The hardest part is not being comfortable in my own skin. I hate that I am constantly tugging at my clothes. I hate that my shirts hug my back way too much showing the fat that I carry there, and I hate that I feel self conscious.0
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-being teased and humiliated most of my life
-feeling like everyone is staring or making fun of me
-feeling like I would break a chair
-not knowing if I would fit in booth at restaurant
-not seeing my penis :sad: :laugh:
I haven't even dated in 7 years because of my weight.
Same here... Glad its over
WOW great job on the weight loss 0 -
you all can do it!0
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For me the hardest has always been photographs of myself.
I am going to be totally honest and it might sound like I'm in denial or something. I am currently in the high 220s and have ranged from 240-300 most of my adult life. I've always - even at my heaviest weight - had VERY high energy, a great love life, an easy time getting jobs, excellent or at least decent medical test results, have not felt that different from my average weight peers and colleagues.
But photos. Oh my goodness. When I'd see a photo of myself, if it was anything other than a flattering selfie of my face, or a pic of me half-way hiding behind my much larger ex husband...I would want to cry. I have never actually felt suicidal in my life but the closest, most horrible self-loathing moments I've had were after looking at photographs taken of me when I thought I looked good, and actually looked horrible. As a result, I'd hide from cameras for years.
Just today my fiance and I did a little "mock" wedding at my mom's house, just tried on our outfits to see how they looked in photos she snapped of us. I looked pretty decent, and I can tell I have lost a lot of the weight so that's a good feeling. But I still feel like I'm smaller and more attractive than I am in the full body shots. It's just one of those things. Ugh.0 -
you all can do it!
This is what I love about MFP, someone's always there to be supportive. 0 -
-being teased and humiliated most of my life
-feeling like everyone is staring or making fun of me
-feeling like I would break a chair
-not knowing if I would fit in booth at restaurant
-not seeing my penis :sad: :laugh:
I haven't even dated in 7 years because of my weight.
Same here... Glad its over
WOW great job on the weight loss
Thanks!0 -
Well for me it made me home bound.. 4 years ago I was literally trapped in my own home... I could barely stand at 560 lbs. let alone walk from room to room.... Severe social phobia had kept me out of major dept. stores for over 7 years leading up to that time... So everything came to a head in 2009.... I hit rock bottom and stop saying no to everything and started saying yes... I crawled and pulled myself out of that pit I was in and am standing here today a new man.... You just have to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and always keep pushing forward...... Best of Luck0
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Congratulations!0
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I agree about shopping for clothing. When I was a size 16, everyone said a size 10 is average, a size 10 never has problems finding cute clothes. Now I am a size 10, and every place is saying a 6-8 is average, you'll never have trouble finding a 6-8. I find lots of outfits that I love, but still can't find them in my size, or if I do, they are not flattering.0
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For me the hardest has always been photographs of myself.
I am going to be totally honest and it might sound like I'm in denial or something. I am currently in the high 220s and have ranged from 240-300 most of my adult life. I've always - even at my heaviest weight - had VERY high energy, a great love life, an easy time getting jobs, excellent or at least decent medical test results, have not felt that different from my average weight peers and colleagues.
But photos. Oh my goodness. When I'd see a photo of myself, if it was anything other than a flattering selfie of my face, or a pic of me half-way hiding behind my much larger ex husband...I would want to cry. I have never actually felt suicidal in my life but the closest, most horrible self-loathing moments I've had were after looking at photographs taken of me when I thought I looked good, and actually looked horrible. As a result, I'd hide from cameras for years.
Just today my fiance and I did a little "mock" wedding at my mom's house, just tried on our outfits to see how they looked in photos she snapped of us. I looked pretty decent, and I can tell I have lost a lot of the weight so that's a good feeling. But I still feel like I'm smaller and more attractive than I am in the full body shots. It's just one of those things. Ugh.
Yeah, I know what you mean, it can be hard sometimes to look at photos of myself too. However, as cheesy as this sounds, I find the ones where I'm actually smiling and not smiling for the camera my best photos. It's important to be comfortable with yourself as hard as that may seem. You've already lost so much weight and that takes a lot of perseverance to do. Hang in there, it's only going to get better.0 -
Associate yourself with positive influences, find people to be around who are in the same mindset as you who want to lose weight. Gain that self confidence and say F*you to anyone who tells you different, Say I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else.
I was 519 pounds heavy, recent graduate at 22 and decided enough was enough. I started to eat smarter and by just diet changes alone dropped nearly 70 lbs. I had bariatric surgery and have lost over 250lbs, it is a life changing event, more so a life style change.
I couldn't do all the things that I saw my friends doing, walk or running 5k's, bicycling, flying on airplanes. I look back when I used to just go out and eat and eat, snack all the time, sit and play computer games.
"Today is the tomorrow that you were worried about yesterday" Whats your excuse now?0
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