Most Uncomfortable / Hardest Part Of Being Overweight
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I let myself go after the birth of my daughter... Because of course i was breastfeeding and could eat up the whole world! Anyway, i felt huge when I went shopping.. The salesmen/women just looking at me and showing plus sized clothes.. But eye opener was when i joined dance class.. I have always loved dancing and i found myself so aware of myself and embarrassed to look at myself dance in studio mirrors.. That's when I decided to get myself in shape to be more self confident0
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Clothes shopping
Photos
My glass front door has a reflective tint so when I walk up to it I see myself walking. Wow! Could hardly believe that was me and I was that big!0 -
I've had a hard time finding a job since I gained weight. it was never a problem before... I feel like if I want to be employed i need to be skinny.0
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I am 28 and have a lot of slim 24 year old friends. The hardest and stupidest thing for me is the embarrassment of getting out of breath walking up hills or the three flights of stairs at my local train station.0
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Not feeling human, or worth anything0
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-Going to Paris and London and having foot pain, hip pain, and knee pain from walking. Not being able to do more things because of the sheer exhaustion.
-Feeling like I was letting my family down
-Needing a seat belt extender on the plane
-Being embarassed that I was the largest person in the Zumba class and it hurt to do some of the moves
-Going to the Tetons and being out of breath at higher elevations
-Tight undergarments
-Feeling like everyone was looking at me
-Feeling like people were analyzing what I ate
-Feeling bad about photos of me, feeling like I wasted my 20s and 30s with food and weight battles
-Upset that I haven't been able to conquer or manage this food/eating problem0 -
Well for me it made me home bound.. 4 years ago I was literally trapped in my own home... I could barely stand at 560 lbs. let alone walk from room to room.... Severe social phobia had kept me out of major dept. stores for over 7 years leading up to that time... So everything came to a head in 2009.... I hit rock bottom and stop saying no to everything and started saying yes... I crawled and pulled myself out of that pit I was in and am standing here today a new man.... You just have to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and always keep pushing forward...... Best of Luck
AMAZING weight loss
did you lose it all on MFP? 0 -
In my experience the hardest part about being overweight is that even tough I am no longer technically overweight, I still feel that way...
That is I still feel fat...
I also feel as if I need a million dollars worth of plastic surgery just so that women would find me attractive at all...
I find that I still feel fat a lot too. I know that we are not alone. A lot of people do. It is really funny because it took me a long time to feel fat when I gained a bunch of weight in college (although I 'felt' fat like so many girls in high school, but I was never more than a size 8). Finally I got to the point that I realized that I was really quite heavy (about 225 pounds). My mom convinced me that I was unhealthy, and I am so glad that she did!
Now I am 136 pounds and wearing mostly size 4 and 6 depending on the store and size small shirts. I am feeling more comfortable in my skin as time passes though. It took me forever to get the right size at first though! Now I can gauge pretty well.
As far as being attractive to women...I think that it works both ways. I read several women in this thread post about feeling unattractive. I think that for every body type that there is someone out there that digs it and then also a bunch more people that care more about personality than appearance. My husband is one of them. I married him when I was over 200 pounds. I quite a bit when I was heavy too.
As for surgery, well, honestly, sometimes I wish I could afford it. I am at almost an ideal weight for me, and I am not 'too' old (IMO LOL), but the parts of me in the mid-section that are covered by a bathing suit are not cool. Too much skin!
I have been working out a lot to tone and have been trying to remember to use the 'toning' lotion, but I am so busy with two kids and work...in fact, the loose skin has derailed my maintenance before because I have said, "Screw it, I look horrible naked! I am going to eat what I want!" Boy did I regret it! Having to re-lose 30 pounds sucks! Thankfully I am too poor to buy a whole new wardrobe, but once my clothes became embarrassingly tight, then I got serious again!
So, I just want to encourage you (and all of you!) by saying that you CAN find a special person and be found attractive. At ANY weight/size/build, etc. But it is important to love yourself first.
Best of luck to everyone in your weight loss journey!
Oh, and p.s. the hardest part of being overweight was feeling out of control with food. And sometimes I still feel that way, but it is MUCH better! 0 -
For me the hardest has always been photographs of myself.
I am going to be totally honest and it might sound like I'm in denial or something. I am currently in the high 220s and have ranged from 240-300 most of my adult life. I've always - even at my heaviest weight - had VERY high energy, a great love life, an easy time getting jobs, excellent or at least decent medical test results, have not felt that different from my average weight peers and colleagues.
But photos. Oh my goodness. When I'd see a photo of myself, if it was anything other than a flattering selfie of my face, or a pic of me half-way hiding behind my much larger ex husband...I would want to cry. I have never actually felt suicidal in my life but the closest, most horrible self-loathing moments I've had were after looking at photographs taken of me when I thought I looked good, and actually looked horrible. As a result, I'd hide from cameras for years.
Just today my fiance and I did a little "mock" wedding at my mom's house, just tried on our outfits to see how they looked in photos she snapped of us. I looked pretty decent, and I can tell I have lost a lot of the weight so that's a good feeling. But I still feel like I'm smaller and more attractive than I am in the full body shots. It's just one of those things. Ugh.
This is EXACTLY how I feel.0 -
I completely agree with all the people who said the pictures. I absolutely hate taking pictures, which is sad, since they are usually reminders of such great memories. I usually just can't see past my weight. I've also been big for most of my life, and the stigma associated with being overweight/obese is draining and overwhelming. I'm in a position to hear a lot of student speeches, and when I hear the "it's easy to get into shape! Here's how to avoid/solve obesity" I want to snap back that even most of the research agrees that it's far from easy.
Good thoughts to everyone.0 -
Well for me it made me home bound.. 4 years ago I was literally trapped in my own home... I could barely stand at 560 lbs. let alone walk from room to room.... Severe social phobia had kept me out of major dept. stores for over 7 years leading up to that time... So everything came to a head in 2009.... I hit rock bottom and stop saying no to everything and started saying yes... I crawled and pulled myself out of that pit I was in and am standing here today a new man.... You just have to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and always keep pushing forward...... Best of Luck
AMAZING weight loss did you lose it all on MFP?
No but I used the principles that are the basis of MFP.... I had lost around 220 lbs. when I came to this site and my reason for coming here in the beginning was more socially driven than weightloss... I had severe social phobia I was dealing with so I used the forums here and put my story on here and start interacting with my MFP friends. I still had the isolation that I needed (being behind a computer screen) while learning to interact socially again... As I did this here I was venturing out of the house for short excursion and building upon them every time as well.... I have been in therapy for 4 years dealing with my depression, social phobias and eating addictions.... It is all relevant in the big picture of my fight to regain control of my life....0 -
My own kids keep asking if I'm having another baby. I keep telling them no, but it breaks my heart a little every time. And, of course, the rest of me is shrinking, but not so much my belly. Go figure! 0
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Must say your a very pretty lady. Don't let anyone or anything take that away from you.
I personally have been a large women all my life. In that I mean taller than most and heavier. I was always a sports fanatic so guys just looked at me as one of the guys. I never allowed my size to cripple me. I am not saying that I didn't struggle to walk into a room filled with people and it not be a STRUGGLE. It was and still is even with my weight loss. I fight it daily trying to accept myself, look at myself and find 1 thing positive about myself. It's hard.
Hold your head high, be proud of who and what you are. A true person will love you for what you carry on the inside NOT by your size on the outside.
Good Luck..0 -
For me, it's the general uncomfortableness of living in my own body. It feels like being stuck in a trap that is impossible to escape from. Not only does this limit my energy and athletic abilities, but the feeling of anxiety that comes from it is debilitating. It's the little things I worry about in life...I want to kayak, but will I sink it? How will I dress well for work if I can't find anything to wear?
Really exhausting. BUT, I think this website is amazing. Everyone here is incredibly supportive and really makes me want to be healthy!0 -
1. Not being comfortable with my boyfriend during. . . umm. . nekky time lol. I can usually just be in the moment but sometimes I just think 'Oh boy this can't look good'
2. Mean girls at work who make comments they think I can't hear or will stare at certain places like my tummy and make me feel self conscious 0 -
The hardest part for me was that i wouldn't even try to do things i wanted to, just incase i'd fail/be too fat/look stupid/blah blah.
I have great friends and a fab family. Nobody ever put me down. It was all me. Now I think of the time i wasted by being too afraid. I'm still chubby now, but i've got better at grabbing life by the balls!0 -
Since I'm still label as Obese on the BMI scale. I'd say the worse thing is being labeled diseased by the American Medical Association.0
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I have been big the majority of my life and my size hasn't stopped me from enjoying a nice dating life, so those of you saying you can't date because of the weight are wrong, there are people out there who are looking past the physical and want to fall in love with the complete person - brains, personality, beautiful smile, etc.
Anyway for me the hardest part of being overweight is all the things I've missed out on because I couldn't join in. I can't walk up and down stairs - starting to get better at that one. I couldn't fit in theater seats - I fit now. I couldn't go for a walk in the moonlight. I can't sit in a standard tub take a relaxing bubble bath - hopefully I can do that by the end of the year.
As the weight is coming off and I am feeling better and more energetic the more I realize that I've been missing out on for so long and can't wait to be able to do them.0 -
Since I'm still label as Obese on the BMI scale. I'd say the worse thing is being labeled diseased by the American Medical Association.
Hugh Jackman and Dwayne (the Rock) Johnson are also considered obese by the BMI scale so I'd say you're in good company.0 -
Like you I find the embarrassment difficult, I can't walk into McDonalds without feeling like people are staring. I hate finding clothing I love but then being told they don't do it in my size.0
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For me...there are several things. I avoid the camera at all costs. I do not like the way I look in pictures, as I am not photogenic at all. Another is hearing about my kids getting teased because of their "fat momma". Kids are cruel anyways, but to pick on them for something totally out of their control. I can not stand going clothes shopping. It seems all the plus sized clothes are bright with stripes or large flowers and remind me of something my grandma might wear. I have never been comfortable in my own skin, nor do I like the way I look. I do not see myself as attractive, but I hope through this process I hope to learn to love myself and embrace my imperfections.0
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For me, it's always having to think about it:
- Make sure I take all the clothes I need on a trip because chances are I won't be able to find something off the rack in short order if I need something
- Will I fit in that booth?
- Will I fit between those tables without taking someone's water glass out with my backside?
- Will I be able to buckle the seatbelt on this aircraft?
- Will the chair hold my weight? What about the step ladder?
- Not being able to do a segway tour, horseback riding, indoor skydiving, etc. because I exceed the weight limit.
- Will I be able to fit into the "historic" theater seats? Found this one out the hard way.
- Always having to ask for "the biggest robe you have" at the spa since tiny spa attendants often can't fathom that ANYONE would need larger than an XL...
Ugg.0 -
The worst part is not being completely comfortable in my own skin and feeling like less a person than somebody who looks good in a swim suit. I never really feel pretty or attractive. I haven't had any decent relationships because I keep people at arms length. I put on shows of bravado and always look for interesting jobs and activities, because otherwise I don't feel like I have anything to offer. I've traveled all over the world, mostly by myself. I can tell stories of working on pearl farms in Tahiti, fishing boats in Alaska, or surfing in Morocco, but I don't have anybody to share the experience with. I'm 27, and all my friends are married and having babies, and they all say they live vicariously through me, but at the end of the day, I'm the one alone. I want my last few years in the 20s to be awesome, and head into my 30s comfortable with myself!0
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First of all, I would like to congratulate you for the 9# loss you had. I have only started with MFP a month ago - committed and determined this time - and I find that this site is very helpful especially with all the people here who are just very supportive and encouraging. I read in your post that you haven't dated in a long time and you feel like people are judging you based on your weight and how you look like. I just want to say that as you get on to this program, you should let go minding what other people think about you because you know for yourself that you are in fact on the road to making yourself better - weight wise. I used to feel the same but I decided to channel all my frustration and insecurity to motivation. For every judging look I get, I condition myself to stay more focused on my goal, and I really celebrate on every achievement I reach. For example if managed to stay on my goal calorie intake for the day, I would celebrate by really focusing on what I am feeling at the moment: feeling less bloated, feeling healthier, happier. This way, I'd feel better about myself and I will be way more motivated to keep on going the next day.
Keep in mind that you are not alone. There are a lot of us who feel really bad about how our bodies make us feel. Whenever our clothes do not fit, whenever we cannot control the way we eat, whenever we get compared with other people who are skinnier. It is ok to feel that way as it is normal, but do not focus on those negative stuff. Allow yourself to feel bad if you must but keep it under a minute. The most important thing is how we can pick ourselves up and how we choose to move forward.
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I don't feel as "professional". People DO judge on appearance. It's an undeniable fact. Two people with the same qualifications, experience, the "fitter" one is more likely to get hired.
The other "hardest" part is success seems to come in fits and starts so much so that even if we are getting smaller, we fail to realize it-- that is, we've been used to being overweight and slovenly for so long that even when we're no longer overweight and slovenly, we tend to still think we are.
And then there's clothes shopping. . .0 -
I also hate dating. I will be 40 in a few months and I swear men are looking for size zero and no brains. Men please correct me!!!
Man here. You are correct.
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Photos are some of the worst things imaginable! Especially full body shots.
I just remember feeling like the least attractive girl in my group of friends when we went out to frat parties. I remember not meeting cute boys' gaze just because I didn't feel worthy or I felt ashamed. The truth is, I was probably only fifteen pounds heavier than I am now, around 165. But when everyone else around you doesn't seem to have an ounce of fat on them, it's very easy to feel like the outsider.
I actually remember one girl freshman year of college implying that I was fat when I didn't really think that I was. But it's those sort of blows that can destroy self-esteem, no matter what your size. I just wish there was some easy way to fix self esteem. It seems like weight loss would be it, but being skinny doesn't mean that we'll necessarily feel any better about ourselves.
Just be strong, be healthy, try to love yourself and strive to find happiness in your life. I think that's the most we can do.0 -
Great posts and great people here. I love this place, and it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone in this on-going battle against myself.
The worst thing about being overweight used to be the teasings at school, the idea that no one would ever love me, that I couldn't find any clothes that fit.
Now, I feel guilt and shame for not taking care of myself and I have this fear of cancer, diabetes and debilitating diseases that could befall upon me because I have not been eating healthy or moving around enough. Right now, it is that guilt and that fear both which are making me turn my life around.0 -
a lot of what was already said:
*Public transportation (including planes), always worried that I am taking up too much space, worried that the seat belt won't close.
*shopping for clothing. not really loving anything, just buying clothing because "it fits" and "it's on sale".
*not so much teased in school (more teased at home :-( ) but FEELING like i was out of place for being "the fat one". although that did motivate me to lose weight when i was a teen, managed to keep that off till my 30s.0 -
In my experience the hardest part about being overweight is that even tough I am no longer technically overweight, I still feel that way...
That is I still feel fat...
I also feel as if I need a million dollars worth of plastic surgery just so that women would find me attractive at all...
I understand this. At one point I thought that the mirror was a fun-house mirror because it made me look so thin. I'm a size 4 now, but for some reason I still see myself as the overweight person I used to be.
Clothes shopping is weird. I don't like to try on clothes in my size, I always pick sizes that are too big. The small sizes just look so tiny on the rack. But sure enough, I do wear the smaller sizes now.
Even after you lose the weight, the mind set is probably the hardest part to change.0
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