Defeated!

smile121
smile121 Posts: 22
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
Ok so I am feeling completely defeated today. I weigh 264 pounds my highest weight was 285... I feel like I just can't lose more...I know, I know, it is in my head... but how do we teach ourselves to be positive, when week after week, I feel like I try, I revamp the way I eat, try to excercise more and the scale does not move... I know there are things that we can do to move from a plateau, sometimes it just seems so hard. Obviously this journey is not easy for anyone, but I have been battling myself for about 5 or 6 years now, and sometimes i just get so tired of trying... I know that losing weight is simple, eat less, excercise more... eat the right foods at the right times and it just works, weight just falls off right?? why does something so simple seem so unattainable in my head? Maybe i have just programmed myself to fail, because i have failed in the past. Any advice would be great.:ohwell:

Replies

  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    it works, it works......belive me. Hardest thing to understand on this journey is the word .......PATIENCE

    I didnt look at your profile, but if youre a woman, it takes longer than it would take me

    Your age, ....it takes longer for older people to lose, than younger ones, ie., your metabolism

    Your over physical ability.......some peope just cant exercise the way a 20 year old can

    Im here to tell you ,when you truly beileve in yourself and your ability to make changes, it will happen.

    I was in the same boat as you last year, and Im here now.......to tell you to please, dont give up. You can do it, it can be done

    Good luck, write me or keep me i the loop.........Im rooting for you.......Lloyd
  • hmrtym
    hmrtym Posts: 49 Member
    if you can, schedule a session with a personal trainer, they can make your body work in the right ways and get you through the plateau!
  • sunnysmile
    sunnysmile Posts: 1,192
    Exactly! What you say rings very true ... you may be programming yourself to throw in the towel too soon. I'd say about a year ago and friend and I chatted (we both have overweight issues) and we decided that our issue wasn't that we hadn't adopted good behaviors (mostly) but that when we went through a difficult time (illness, or whatever) that threw us off, we didn't get right back on the plan (so to speak). We let that ruin everything instead of saying, it was one off day, off week ... we waited until things blew way out of control to make a correction. Now I am learning that one bad day, meal, mood, illness, etc. does not stop me moving forward. I get back on my journey quicker and thus am succeeding more. Expecting perfection, all of nothing, and not restarting, was screwing with my head. Expecting problems but getting back on the journey has helped me keep to the journey.

    You have accomplished a lot just by trying, it is not easy to do that. And you are not at your highest, you need to give yourself credit for that, that's a real achievement. Take baby steps and whatever else you do, feel good about yourself, that's step 1. Also remember, the body does not work in a straight line. If you keep at it during a plateau it will eventually break and you will move downward again. Regardless, your positive behaviors will help your health and makes you feel good.
  • KarenBorter
    KarenBorter Posts: 1,157 Member
    Yanno ... Every single day I wake up and tell myself this: I AM going to lose this weight, I CAN do this, I WON'T buy a size up, I WILL stick with this ... and I say this throughout the day.

    You CAN do this ... look how far you have come already! You didnt' put this weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. I tell you it won't take as LONG to lose it as it did to put on ... you are being accountable to yourself about what food you eat and how much water you drink ... also about your levels of activity.

    YOU CAN DO THIS ...
  • Maggie1960
    Maggie1960 Posts: 322
    You are not going to fail, not this time. Treat yourself to something non-foody to cheer yourself, some bright nail varnish or a sparkly scarf or some music to work out to. And persevere with it, you WILL get there.
  • debbie1268
    debbie1268 Posts: 56
    I'm right with you.. I keep trying and trying.. and that scale is not moving... I'm a little discouraged today also...I'm not cheating and eating below my calories.. excerising 3-4 times per week...

    You can do it.. and I will also listen to my words... I look at all of these success stories and wish that it were me... I am trying to lose 80 lbs by Aug 2011..

    Add me as a friend if you want...

    I'm going to win this fight... you have to also!!!
  • bebby
    bebby Posts: 18
    I felt just like you a couple of months ago. I had lost 15 pounds and I was mentally exhausted. The scaled wasn't moving and it all felt like so much work. What got me through that period was reminding myself that I am worth it. That I am important. That I'm tired of putting other things and other people first. And then I thought about all the things I wanted to be able to do:

    Not have to shop in the plus size section.
    Get dressed without having to worry about if my clothes will fit.
    Not have to worry about not being able to find pants in the store.
    Being able to walk, bike - do whatever I wanted without hurting.

    Mostly, I wanted to feel in control of me. And most days I feel like this. I know I will have to be careful for the rest of my life, but I feel like I now have the tools to get through it all. Do you have friends and family that are celebrating your successes with you? Have you set up little goal 'treats'? In the end, yes, you're right, it's a lot of work - but compared to other things in the world? It's easy!
  • ChubbieTubbie
    ChubbieTubbie Posts: 481 Member
    You can do it! Everyone has off days, but it's important to not give up and to just try harder to change. Sometimes it's really hard to stick to eating right and exercising, but you have to take it in stride--if one day you mess up, don't dwell on it and just start up again the next day. Work on going longer between cheat days and falling off the wagon.

    Are you exercising? When I'm having a really bad day with my eating, I jump on my bike and go for a ride around the block a few times and the fresh air and my heart pumping naturally help me out of my funk--it also helps negate some calories!

    You just need to keep telling yourself that you CAN do this and push harder when you feel like giving up. I have quite a bit of weight to lose too, if you want you can add me and we can be buddies. I started off at 272.0 and I'm down to 265.8 right now. I had gotten down into the 250s at one point before falling off the wagon big time! When I focus on my goals--even if I don't meet them every day!--I find that I lose. So far it's about .3 lb per day, whether I meet my calorie and exercise goals or not--I find that as long as I'm working at it, I lose. You don't have to be absolutely perfect. I aim for 800 calories burned per day. I rarely get that high! I also try to keep my intake under 1500 despite how much I exercise, and yesterday I ate all but 13 of my calories, including my exercise ones!! It was a bad day for me, I felt like snacking all day because of my light breakfast and lunch, but I still find that I'm moving forward and not backwards and I started today off right and plan to do my best.

    After all, all you can do is your best. :)

    Congrats on your weight loss so far and I know you'll do fabulous if you just keep at it.
  • fletchbaby
    fletchbaby Posts: 62 Member
    Hey there don't give up I did'nt lose anything last week and it weas scary but we have to keep going. HAve you ever had your thyriod tested if not you should.
  • baker_c
    baker_c Posts: 251 Member
    You CAN do this. Try using affirmations. I have a habit of bad self talk, so I am redirecting my thinking. I think I can, I think I can - just like the little red train. I repeat: I'm getting stronger and slimmer every day. I see myself at my ideal and perfect weight. I am losing weight now. I make positive healthy choices for myslef (there is a ton of weight loss affirmations on line)

    Too many times I beat myself up - Affirmations not be the ideal thing for you, but for me, it has helped me stay focused and not be so down on myself.

    Good luck to you - you can do it!
  • vickiele1
    vickiele1 Posts: 394 Member
    I took the liberty of taking a peek at your profile. Here is what you posted, "I want to get in shape so that I can feel good. I think that is the main reason. I just want to release my skinny girl and see what this world has to offer me. I truely believe that I am hiding behind all of this weight, and I have a lonnngggg road ahead of me. It is time to face this head on! This is 12 years in the making and I am ready to do this! "

    I'm not sure how long ago you posted that, but I think you have somehow managed to shift your focus to numbers rather than "feeling good again.' You had acknowledged this would be a really long road and that it had taken you 12 years to get to where you were - revisiting that note to yourself and others might help you get refocused again on what your "real" goals are. To be a Healthier you - to change a lifelong pattern of not eating and exercising correctly. Sometimes those patterns take a long time to change. Since I can't see your food diary and can't see what your current exercise and eating patterns are, I recommend that you print those reports out for yourself and evaluate them critically and honestly to determine if there are still unhealthy patterns that exist. If so, challenge yourself to make the necessary adjustments.

    Most importantly, though, being patient with yourself and you go through the process is vital. Please recognize that you are important and special despite what the numbers on a scale say. Your overall physical and mental health are way more important - and being kind to you is an extremely important element in all of that.

    Blessings to you in this journey.

    Vickie
  • smile121
    smile121 Posts: 22
    Thanks so much for all the encouragement. This site really is wonderful!! I think i am a very emotional eater and when things start to go badly i head right for food. It is my drug of choice..lol.

    I do throw in the towel too quicky... i really do believe that if i don't have instant results then what i do is not working. I really think my biggest hurdle in this struggle is going to be training myself to think differently. When i see that the scale doesn't move for a week automatically i think I will fail, and, tada, I do fail. I really am my worst enemy.

    Thanks so much for all the advice. I will be adding all of you as friends! lol

    And Yes, I do have a thyroid problem... I have been on medication since I was 15. so that doesn't help matters much!
  • udallmom101
    udallmom101 Posts: 564 Member
    I am feeling that same way today. I have lost 16 lbs. and now I feel stuck. I have about 40 more to go. I keep hearing PATIENCE. I know I have to switch things up though as well. I guess if you need some more motivation, or you just want a new Friend, you can add me. It is frustrating, and we are all going to have our down days. Let's just try to keep our heads up and move forward with hope that we will be where we want to be one day.
  • JustBeckyV
    JustBeckyV Posts: 182
    Glad you are feeling better about things! We all get there at times it's how you handle it and move on from there. It's worth it in the long run - just keep at it!!
  • CelticWarrior
    CelticWarrior Posts: 117
    when I first started I lost few pounds and then stayed at 317 for almost 2 weeks........... but I was doing the same exercises, eating better so I was confused, defeated. Next thing I know I lost 2 pounds in 2 days, and it kept going till I lost 45 pounds so far. Just stick with it feel inside your doing good, whether the scale says so or not. Scales a double edge sword , I feel defeated a few times, but I push through because I know what the scale says, but I listening to what my body says.
  • JPotvin
    JPotvin Posts: 108
    I have found a trick that works for me (especially to feel great about myself before I "really" start the day...I have been taking my boys out for a long walk in the mornings! If you can get out of bed 20 minutes earlier throw on your shoes, grab a water, and walk fast for 15 minutes before you do anything else...I guarentee you will feel more motivated and happier the rest of the day! I still exercise later in the day, but the morning exercise gets my blood pumping for the day!

    Good luck...Don't give up :) We all hit that plateau..I know you can do it!
  • LynnBirchfield
    LynnBirchfield Posts: 581 Member
    Wow! Congratulations on the weight you've lost. Please don't feel defeated. We're all on this journey together -- even if it takes 1/2 lb per week. Just stay strong and if you fall off the wagon, just pick yourself right up and get right back on there. I know you can do this. You'll eventually be one of those people that I see their big weight loss and think WAY TO GO!
  • NH_1970
    NH_1970 Posts: 544 Member
    I started this site one pound under your weight, I started my whole weight loss journey to a healthy me a little above your starting weight. You can do it just don't give up, and don't give in. If you're an emotional eater, or an emotional eating addict, then just do what all addicts do, when you are feeling sad/depressed/angry/bored, Find something else to do and resist the urge to just eat.

    It helps me to write to figure out why I want to eat my emotions. It also gets out all that crappy stuff going on inside my head, the net has a lot of blog sites on it or you could just grab a journal or do a word program on your own computer at home. It's just a healthier way to get out the emotions than eating them. I joined blogspot because they have the option of doing a book form after and I plan on printing mine up and having it so I know where I've been and how far I've come.

    But anything is good, maybe knitting? wood burning? a new hobby? going for a walk helps me, something repetitive and soothing you can immerse yourself in. Plus whenever I walk I start out thinking about what is bugging me and figure it out and let it go on the walk, I don't know why it happens like that but it does, I noticed it awhile ago, then after that happens I can just enjoy being outside and the nice weather.

    and who told you this was easy? :smile: It takes being brave, determination, consistency and keeping that end goal in site, for emotional eaters it takes attention and weeding out the junk going on inside our psyche and finding a new way to 'be' with food that isn't about emotional attachment. Food is meant to sustain us, with healthy bodies and that's it.

    and congratulations on the weight you have loss, instead of looking at what you haven't done, celebrate what you HAVE done. It makes a difference :) I love the ticker on this site for that very reason. Also something I found out once the tape measure fit around my hips, is that if I'm not losing weight I might be losing mass, the tape measure can be your friend too.

    I'm not preaching with this it's just something I do, every morning before my feet hit the floor I pray God help me get through today, or I pray God help me stay on track with my food and nutrition and exercise, it's made a huge difference for me.
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