Too depressed to care anymore?

I understand the stress of DH losing his job. When my daughter was 3 months old, I got Bell's Palsy. A month later, my DH lost his job. It was beyond stressful, dealing with a serious illness, no income and having a newborn. I so get it. It's been 4.5 years since then, so I've obviously survived all that, lol.

Take a deep breath. If money is an issue, drop your gym membership and find a trail/jogger's path and go walking. I do this every morning before DH and daughter wake up. I find that I feel much less stressed during my walk. It clears my head and I'm able to think things through with a clear head.

Focus on taking small steps. Since DH is home now until he finds a job, ask him to take over the cooking. Give him easy things to cook. Steam in bag Veggies (frozen, about $1 on sale), grill up some chicken (he's a guy, he should like grilling, right? (lol). This way, you can have a healthy dinner and it's done when you get home.

Start couponing (if you're not already). Buy a Sunday Newspaper every week and get the coupon inserts from it. Match the coupons with your grocer's sales. You can search for coupon matchup blogs, which will do all of the math/hardwork for you. You just need the coupons. When I first started couponing years ago, I went from spending $500 a month on food to $250 a month. You can use that saved money on fixing your car.

Like I said, small steps. I know it's hard not to freak out about the whole situation. You just have to work on one thing at a time. Good luck!

First, ((hugs)). Your situation is very difficult and with your history of stress eating it's no wonder you are turning to food right now. I've been depressed and I know how hard it is to care about your health when you're feeling low; in fact, the "life problems" I mention in my profile that resulted in me regaining 30 lbs were my struggles with depression and anxiety.

The important thing is that you are kind to yourself right now. That doesn't mean letting yourself eat whatever and not exercise, but instead cutting yourself some slack. You know that eating right and exercising make you feel good but right now it is difficult to put as much effort into those things as you were doing when things were better. So make concessions. If hitting the gym after work is too much, then go for a long walk instead. If cooking a healthy dinner is too stressful to think about, a healthy sandwich with a side salad is a quick and easy way to still have something nutritious. Do what you can and realize that no matter how small it is, it is better than nothing.

Even more importantly, it may be a good idea to get therapy. Since money is an issue, look for free or sliding scale programs in your area that will make it affordable for you. People frequently view therapy as a luxury when times are tight but your mental health is even more important during trying times.

Hugs. I hear you clucking big chicken. I'm facing a lot of the same stressors and it is rough. I know it can be hard to turn things around when it feels like you're walking into the rain. Hang in there. You can do it.

I think right now you need to figure out priorities. Yes, eating well and exercising should be important, but if that comes at the detriment of something else in your life, you need to decide which course is more important at this current time.

I'm sorry you're experiencing such hardship. It really is hard to keep motivated when things feel like they're falling around you, but sometimes it actually helps to keep going with this - because it gives you something in your life you CAN have some control over.

Good luck.

We have all been through the mill. One persons sturggle may not seem signifant to another. However we all are here to help and encourage. I have dealt with everything you have listed and it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have my own battles as well. Just know you are not alone and if ther eis anything you need to talk about then do it! Dont think someone is going to think you are complaining. Friends are supposed to lend an ear or a shoulder. You will get through it! Take time and write out all your priorities and see what you can change in the meantime

I'm right there with you. When I have problems in my personal life it makes it really hard for me to focus and stay on track with my goals. My doctor just put me on a small dose of Lexipro because along with everything else I'm starting to go through menopause and have the ups and downs of hormones. I say the most important thing is to give yourself a break and let yourself deal with what you need to and not start feeling bad about how your handling it. Sit down and write out your goals and what you want to change then work on one thing at a time.

I know having a spouse that isn't working is so stressful - I've been there. Sit down with him and make a plan. If he's not working, then why can't he go shopping and make dinner - you can easily eat cheap and healthy on big salads, crock pot dinners, etc.

Good luck hon - I know life is so stressful sometimes.

I have a history of depression and insomnia in my past but not in my future , and I tend to stress eat when I get depressed if I don't remember to keep healthy snacks in my purse. I was feeling really good up until a few weeks ago so I know I can feel really good again as soon as I get a handle on this.
My hubby lost his job, and that is putting added financial stress to our relationship since I am the only one working right now. Its very busy and stressful at my job at the moment too, which makes me grouchy, and tired, and depressed. So instead of coming home and cooking a nice healthy dinner and hitting the gym afterwards, I said "screw it, let's get Wendys and ordered healthy-ish stuff that fit my eating plan and watch the Colbert Report". And because I'm worried about money and aggravated with work, I'm not sleeping enough, but I just started researching yoga online to remedy this , which makes me more tired and relaxed before bed and the next day wake up with more energy. With that, add transmission problems to my 13-year-old car and not enough money to buy a new one and I might be getting more opportunities for exercise by walking to the bus stop & or taking my bike to work like some people do and I always wanted to try.

I'm not trying to make this a therapy session, but I do know that when I excersize and eat right I feel better which is why I'm committing to doing that moreso now that my family and I really really need me to . My weight was creeping up again and I will stop it before I gain back everything I have lost. It's just so hard to care when everything sucks right now but I know that when I am on the other side of this I will be soooooo glad I did because I know that weight loss does not happen in a perfect bubble of perfectly perfection and success depends on working it into real life no matter what life throws at me. Come on life...is that all you got? Come at me bro! .

FIFY:flowerforyou:

Nice!

Sounds familiar. I've been there. It's profoundly unpleasant. I can't really help in any meaningful sense, but I shall give you my inconsequential opinion anyway. It will be blunt.

We can't fix it. We might be able to cheer you up, but it will be temporary. A counselor might help. It might not. Medication might help. It might not. There is only one person who can get you out of that spiral. But you already knew that.

And if you tell yourself that everything's falling apart and your life is collapsing and there's nothing you can do about it, you're right. And if you decide that you might as well give up and turn to bad habits as some kind of comfort device, because you're not worth anything, you're right about that too.

Alternatively, you could decide that whilst some things beyond your control are making things difficult, and it's not a good position to be in, that it's not representative of you as a person, and that if you want to stand a good chance of getting through setbacks unscathed then the only way to do it is with focus and knowing that you don't make yourself happy by resigning yourself to defeat, you do it by showing yourself that you can get through challenges and overcome adversity. Your health isn't a test of skill, it's a test of commitment and determination. If you fail, it's because you choose to fail. And if you make that choice, you'll hate yourself for it, and that will become another weight on your already overburdened shoulders.

You know what you have to do. Do it.

What a football coach would tell you: Quit feeling sorry for yourself and win this thing!
What a yoga teacher would tell you: Just close your eyes and feel the life-giving oxygen flow in and out of you until you find peace.
What Chuck Norris would tell you: Just give me an address and a name; it will be fixed in ten minutes.
What Darth Vader would tell you: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate you.
What my pastor would tell you: Be still and know that he is God. This is temporary and you will come out of this stronger.
What Beaker from The Muppets would tell you: Me me me me me meeeee me meeeemeememe me me!

Hope that helps!

Depression is the very reason I said "screw it" to everything and gained 17 lb. over the course of this year. All I wanted to do was NOT move. I'd eat whatever, however much of whatever I wanted, make sure my daughter was taken care of, and lay in bed and watch TV. Every morning I'd set my alarm for 5:30am with the promise that I was going to workout that next day, and each day I'd hit snooze until 7am and "promise" myself I'd start "tomorrow." And with every milkshake I pushed into my mouth and every bad food decision I made I'd go back to that "tomorrow" promise of starting.

Even when my jeans were getting ridiculously, can't even ignore it anymore tight, I still didn't care enough.

Until one day I just DID. Of the other things in my life that stress me out (personal, financial), I had to compartmentalize and separate my weight from the other issues, and focus on attacking this one issue. My own domino effect. I can't take on changing EVERYTHING at one time so take on what I want to change the most - getting back into shape - into even better shape than I was a year ago.

And I've noticed that by breaking the cycle and focusing on this, my mood has improved. I realize that the other issues that stress me out/depress me still exist, my mood toward everything is more even, less depressed. Because I plucked out ONE issue and am tacking it HEAD ON.

And like a juggler, once I feel secure with jugging this, I'll add the next thing I want to change into the mix, juggle that with diet/exercise, and add in another, and another, until I've got everything where I want it to be.

But it's just one step at a time. Pick what you want to change - just ONE thing - and focus on that first and foremost!

That is tough to overcome. At least you are aware of what is going on in the moment and how you are feeling. Some people aren't even able to do that.
I haven't suffered with this in many decades, however what usually works for me is to try different approaches such as:

- allowing myself to feel grumpy and acknowledging that it is coming from within, rather than any outside influences.
- meditation
- mixiing things up! ie. volunteering, trying a new hobby, going for a run, signing up for a class, watching comedy on t.v. etc.
- this year I had chronic pain for about 6 or 7 months and I sat beside a light box every single day in the gloomy winter. I think it made a difference in my mood.
- talking to someone.
- good friendships. These need cultivation and commitment and they are so worth it
- I can not emphasize the importance of good women friendships. They are like medicine!!
- walking, running or deadlifting
- if I gain 2 pounds or 10 pounds, just taking it off again. Everything will be alright. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

I'm glad you made this thread.

Exercise is a great anti-depressant.

What a football coach would tell you: Quit feeling sorry for yourself and win this thing!
What a yoga teacher would tell you: Just close your eyes and feel the life-giving oxygen flow in and out of you until you find peace.
What Chuck Norris would tell you: Just give me an address and a name; it will be fixed in ten minutes.
What Darth Vader would tell you: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate you.
What my pastor would tell you: Be still and know that he is God. This is temporary and you will come out of this stronger.
What Beaker from The Muppets would tell you: Me me me me me meeeee me meeeemeememe me me!

Hope that helps!

That was awesome!!

Everyone has issues, adding your weight to yours is only going to make your life worse and make an excuse to indulge on junk..sorry but that's just how I had to sum up my own life. Without going into my sad details too much..after my father died in 09 I was left with little to no family and support system and 4yrs later ..you know I have to really just cry it out and do what needs to be done..I understand depression and there is a time when medicine is needed however if your making a decision to just give up then I will then say sometimes..things are not cured by meds but by straight talk....get it together girl....you can do it because you need to get yourself healthy because you have one life..please realize many people have it way worse of than you or me...read the news....that's what I do when I think my life is at its worse...then I suck it up and put my game face on and say "my life is cake and I need to pray for someone and it isn't myself".