when people say that you don't need to lose weight...

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wannabeadancer27
wannabeadancer27 Posts: 44
in Motivation and Support
Now, I'm a tall girl (5'9), so maybe I can get away with carrying extra weight (for example: I'm 165lbs, and I still look relatively "thin" compared to what might be considered average for an adult US woman. I'm not thin by socal standards or hollywood standards, but if I wear the right clothes, I definitely don't look like someone approaching a 25 bmi. If someone who was average height had to carry my weight, it would be more noticeable. ), but isn't so irritating when people think that you are "healthy enough already" and don't see why you are losing weight. It's worse than people calling you fat because it's people who are close to you and think that they are doing it with love, but they don't see that you have a problem with food and eating and portion control and I don't want to rant, but it's kind of painful and frustrating when people you know in real life can't support you.

Healthy eating is foreign to so many people and so many of us were raised with sugar and soda and junk food and never even got a decent meal with grass fed meat, organic ingredients, or a beverage free from HFCS.

Replies

  • Ashleyyyb93
    Ashleyyyb93 Posts: 71
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    I'm 5ft10 and 130 lbs. I have the same problem.

    My parents used to dig at me (particularly my mum) because I was overweight. Then when I lost alot of weight and started to adopt a healthy lifestyle, they didn't understand. I am doing it to make myself happy, regardless of whether or not they think I need to lose weight. I struggle with eating, and have always had food related issues. I found that the only place people accepted me for who I truly am, is here.

    xxx
  • unFATuated
    unFATuated Posts: 204 Member
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    Maybe take it away from looks and talk about how it makes you feel? I certainly do need to lose more weight, but my main motivation for doing this was to FEEL better (with looking better being a great side effect!). I was sick and tired of having no energy, being short tempered and having really unpleasant issues with my body which I knew I could easily fix by watching what I put in my mouth. Sure, I could have chosen to eat the same amount of calories I was consuming in junk and not lose weight, but I knew that bit needed fixing too.
  • Th3stral
    Th3stral Posts: 93 Member
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    Tell me about it! I'm in a similar boat. My BMI is currently 21 (but I'm 4'11) but because I'm IR I carry all my weight around the middle. Not only does this make me look an awful lot heavier than I am, but it also causes me problems as I have a health complaint which is sorely worsened by having visceral fat putting pressure on my organs. My doctor says I need to loose more weight, I know I need to loose more weight to FEEL well, yet the second I turn anything down I get the "I don't know why you think you need to diet" comments.
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
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    Honestly, I tell them "You are right, I probably don't -need- to. But, in the end it is how I feel and not at all about you." Might sound snotty to some, but I tend to be fairly blunt lol.
  • Shetchncn1
    Shetchncn1 Posts: 260 Member
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    Just non, smile and let it go in one ear and out the other. Then forget it. This is for you and no one else.
  • nichi123
    nichi123 Posts: 244
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    I'm 5 eleven and people always say that I don't need to lose weight when we all know I clearly do. I know they're trying to be nice, but then I always get 'but you're tall, you carry it better'! Aaarrrrrhhh! It drives me nuts!!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    There gets to be a point where it becomes a sickness. We reach our goal weight, then we think, 5 more pounds, then we get there and think, oh I bet I can get down another 2. Being healthy does not necessarily mean the scale is as low as we can get it.

    I am saying this because I had a physical a few weeks ago and got a very harsh talking to by my doctor. Three days later I go to my sister in laws house in Atlanta and she tells me that she loves me but wanted to let me know I have crossed the line from being skinny to looking unhealthy. THEN my masseuse tells me(after I gained a few lbs) that she was happy to see me gain some weight because I was looking "poor". All I saw was how great my flat stomach looked and how my saddle bags were leaving my 45 year old butt. And I was eating what I THOUGHT was maintenance too! Turns out MFP has that crap all wrong.

    Balance is the key to everything. We must learn how to live with our bodies at the weight that is healthy for us, not what we want it to be.
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,975 Member
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    :bigsmile: stop talking about "losing weight" and simply focus on being healthy and fit.......a friend of mine who was able to wear the military uniform from his wedding at a party for his 40th wedding anniversary, used to tell people "I'm a successful dieter, don't confuse me with all those pot-bellied failures"
  • BunBun85
    BunBun85 Posts: 246 Member
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    People tell me that **** now and I'm 5'2, 208lbs. I don't understand it, it sure did aid in me living in denial up to 316lbs. i just ignore them now, if they are going to spew that crap they clearly don't know anything about health and fitness and won't be helpful in my continued life style change and weight loss journey.
  • jenniferg83
    jenniferg83 Posts: 278 Member
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    i am the same measurements in heights and weight. i feel your frustration. <3
  • NomadicFlame
    NomadicFlame Posts: 74
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    I get similar.

    I am almost the exact ideal weight for my height (I'm right in the middle of the perfect weight range), yet because the majority of people around me are overweight, including my parents, I keep being told I need to put on weight as I'm "skinny" or "anorexic".

    I'm a shade off 6' with a small frame.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    I'm trying to stop talking about my weight loss efforts because I get the "you don't need to lose any more weight" a lot lately and end up overexplaining personal information. I'm within 15 pounds of my goal weight and still overweight by the medical charts. I also still have a fat stomach. I'm surrounded by very overweight people and believe being huge and covering it up with baggy clothes is the new normal look.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    people tend to assume that height and frame size correlated, i.e. that smaller people are scaled down versions of taller people. however you get people who are tall and small framed, and those who are short and large framed. Because of this and other variation between people (e.g. relative leg length, amount of muscle mass), you can't tell what a healthy weight should be based on height alone. If you're small framed (short or tall) your weight at a healthy body fat percentage will be in the low end of the BMI range, while a large framed person (short or tall) would be in the high end of the BMI range, or even the overweight range, at the same body fat percentage.

    Getting your body fat percentage measured in a reliable way is much better than using BMI charts. The healthy range for women is 18-28% - if you're not yet in this range, then you can simply reply to people that your body fat percentage is still too high, and that height is not a good predictor of how much someone should weigh. If your body fat percentage is in the high end of the healthy range, it's perfectly safe to make it lower if you prefer how you look at lower body fat percentages, and you can tell people that your goal weight is within the healthy body fat percentage range.

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