Heartbroken, and trying to stay on track

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  • kutterba
    kutterba Posts: 107 Member
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    I married a guy like that. When confronted he said - are you ready? He said, "oh, you're ok, I just want you to be better." AND YOU KNOW? I never was good enough. He's my ex.
    Walk away and don't look back!

    :heart:
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    Real men don't put you down. Real men are supportive.

    That said? Cut this toxic guy out of your life, get MAD and use that anger as motivation, take it out on the treadmill, the weights, or the elliptical one whatever workout you love.

    Your picture is gorgeous, and you deserve more than some critical man that has nothing nice to say to/about you.

    Don't eat your feelings! I know it's hard, but you've got this. :flowerforyou:
  • runningcats
    runningcats Posts: 26 Member
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    Anyone who cuts another person down is really deflecting attention from their own shortcomings. Remember that.

    This journey - not just your weightloss, but your *life* - is about you, not him. Remind yourself of that every moment of every day until it becomes a part of you. You are worth it because it is *your* life. Surround yourself with people and things that make you smile, that make you happy. Relish in every step you take when you run, because it is your time that you're investing in yourself. And - even relish the food you put in your body - and be completely mindful of it! It nourishes you muscles so that you can run, just like the goodness you surround yourself will will nourish your soul.

    You're worth it. You can do this! And when you need more support - you've got your family, friends, faith and MFP peeps to send you waves and waves of positive energy!
  • terri_journey
    terri_journey Posts: 287 Member
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    You can do this!!! One thing I would suggest is speaking life into your situation. I don't know if you are a Christian, but the word of God says that there is power of life and death in the tongue... Meaning that what you confess over your situation is how it will be. So a lady speaks, so she is.

    Everyday, look yourself in the mirror and say, " I am a strong, beautiful woman. I have the self control and work ethic needed to reach and maintain my goal. I will accomplish everything I set my mind to."

    Discipline is ALWAYS rewarded. Blessings ALWAYS follow obedience.
    This is Totally true!! You are beautiful, with or without him!! :smile:
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    I sit here... beyond moved. Good tears I think. Inspired to keep going. I spend most of my life being "the strong one", the one "who inspires others", the woman who people think "she's got it all going on"...and there are very few forums, where I feel ok, to just be me. Being in the "somewhat public eye"...its hard to say when you're sad, disappointed, or feel like a failure. I am so grateful that I posted... It means more to me than you all know.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,079 Member
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    First to suggest Just Break Up ™
  • Fiercely_Me
    Fiercely_Me Posts: 481 Member
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    I read a smart thing one time - paraphrasing:
    Sometimes a smart woman has to be strong enough to break her own heart.

    Isn't that the truth when the relationship is toxic yet enticing. If it's not good for you, it it's hard to maintain the relationship, it's not a good relationship. Don't waste precious time on a jerk, it's just taking time away from a good man you haven't let in or met yet.

    Change is hard - sometimes we keep the toxic because it becomes our norm and the change of our norm is scary - but 10 years from now what will be your norm with this guy if you stay in? Or will it be 10 years you wish you could get back?

    What a powerful quote! Being a person who also left a terrible situation, this couldn't be more true.

    I agree with everyone who say that you have to do this for you. You will have your ups and downs( fitness wise and emotionally wise) but the process is so worth it once you reach your goal. He was horrible to treat you the way that he did, and be glad that the relationship is over.
  • blackcloud13
    blackcloud13 Posts: 654 Member
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    I'm usually very neutral and cautious on any relationship posts - its really hard to give proper advice without all the facts. But this is a pretty easy case. Just go with the following complex steps

    1. Ditch the dimwit.

    And that's about it really - you seem like a really awesome person, and things will only get better when you get rid of him
  • RAEQ127
    RAEQ127 Posts: 106 Member
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    Until you truly love yourself and value yourself I am afraid Mr. Wrong will be in indefinite repeat regardless of a changing face. Love yourself enough to be okay by yourself. I think you already have a great amount of personal insight into the whys and whats, but until you treat yourself like your own best friend and go to bat for yourself if it isn't this guy it will be another who will knock you down. Fill your heart and your spirit with things that uplift you and guide you to be the woman you want to be, and before long you wont have the time or space within yourself for people like that. Sending you my love!
  • IamRachaelLea
    IamRachaelLea Posts: 10 Member
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    Such powerful advice from all of you. Thank you. I decided to dust myself off, get out in the sun today, as it's beautiful where I am, and meet some new people. I was invited on a whim, and while I wanted to stay home and feel sorry for myself, i decided... get up and move your *kitten*. So I'm going :)
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    Such powerful advice from all of you. Thank you. I decided to dust myself off, get out in the sun today, as it's beautiful where I am, and meet some new people. I was invited on a whim, and while I wanted to stay home and feel sorry for myself, i decided... get up and move your *kitten*. So I'm going :)

    :drinker:
  • Italiano7
    Italiano7 Posts: 382 Member
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    First of all forget that *kitten*. He clearly has issues with himself, he's not happy with himself. Focus on yourself from here on. In due time you will forget about him and reach your goals. Good Luck!! feel free to add me.
  • stahlhaus
    stahlhaus Posts: 23 Member
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    So sad how some people need others to feel bad so they can feel good. But you can't control what another person says or does, but you CAN choose whether to be in relationship with that type of person (most of the time)..

    A person who puts others down is a weak person, but only has power if others allow it. There's a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I don't say this to make you feel bad, but to help you see where you have some control.

    I applaud you getting out and about. Pay attention to how others value you (whether good or bad), and decide "Do I feel better in their presence or worse?" I think we (especially as women) spend so much time considering how others think of us that we forget to evaluate whether WE like THEM! You deserve to be treated well and when you get that self-love firmly rooted, you will be surprised how that will start attracting the right type of men. Best wishes on your new journey to loving and VALUING yourself!

    Signed, Been There--Done That!!
  • bubblygoldfish
    bubblygoldfish Posts: 213 Member
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    I agree with everyone, you do not need someone toxic in your life. You are strong. Trust God to lead you in enriching your life. He will provide you an opportunity for love when you are ready. Just be open to it. Be the person you want to be, today, that is your choice.
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
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    A Christian AND a Torontonian? Add me..I am both, too! :flowerforyou:

    PS...Dump the dipsh!t. He doesn't deserve you. xo :smile:

    P.P.S. Yeah, Christians swear sometimes. :laugh:
  • kfavulous
    kfavulous Posts: 106 Member
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    I left my husband after two years of marriage for various reasons...
    He lost 102lbs so far... I've lost 10 - and I was the one who left heartbroken!

    So... it happens. But lose the weight for YOU and get healthy for YOU.
  • sunfirelynn
    sunfirelynn Posts: 186 Member
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    If he cant be supportive and cuts you up, I would dump him. You dont need that, your a pretty lady you could find a man that would treat you much better.
  • lenkearney
    lenkearney Posts: 116 Member
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    suggest you take your exercise in a martial arts class- next time someone tries to cut you down- you will remember you can take THEM down.

    and you will meet some men who understand honor...

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