lack of support? Come on really??

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dicoveringwhoIam
dicoveringwhoIam Posts: 480 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am so frustrated. Just on Sunday I was talking with the Hub and we were talking about cardio and running/jogging. I shared that I was embarrassed to BC of a jiggling belly and such. He said maybe "you will someday." Well, today the trainer had me jog from one end of the yard to the other x3. I did it. In total it was 3/4 of a mile. Plus the rest of the session. It was a good day!

I shared with the Hub that I actually jogged today! His reaction an very blah "that's good." It was almost as if he didn't hear me.. I am so sick of the lack of support on his end. Hr says he likes the changes but doesn't show it and doesn't participate in the victories or working out with me when I ask..

I'm so over it..
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Replies

  • ritchiedrama
    ritchiedrama Posts: 1,304 Member
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    1) You don't need to make a big deal out of it, you obviously don't need support, you did it.

    2) What did you expect him to say?

    3) People around you don't care what you're doing with your body, because you obsess over it (that is a guess, but i, myself obsess over my body, and everyone around me doesn't care)

    4) At least he said that's good.

    5) now you are over it,, you can go for a jog again
  • cpeacy
    cpeacy Posts: 27
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    I go through the same things ALL the time. BF doesn't care or try to understand what I am trying to accomplish, and has absolutely no respect for my plans or the goals I set for my self. It frustrates me to no end.
  • oOxXxOo
    oOxXxOo Posts: 75 Member
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    It's not meant to be about him, your supposed to be doing it for yourself. Why would he work out with you? It's not his journey it's yours. I get you probably needed the vent but what is he doing wrong exactly?
  • iTrainHARD
    iTrainHARD Posts: 41
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    Nobody will care about your successes as much as you do. Please learn to accept that, or you will constantly be disappointed.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Nobody will care about your successes as much as you do. Please learn to accept that, or you will constantly be disappointed.

    Yup.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    Nobody will care about your successes as much as you do. Please learn to accept that, or you will constantly be disappointed.


    That.
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
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    This is about you!
    It does not matter what others think.
    Do it for you and you will be a Winner!
  • Martychall
    Martychall Posts: 2
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    Yeah, or maybe he was fine with you before you decided to make the changes, why would he join you? He ain't the one trying to lose weight.
  • weightlossdiva1219
    weightlossdiva1219 Posts: 283 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear that your hubby isn't on the same page. :( I have a very supportive and actively involved boyfriend when it comes to my weight loss journey, and I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be if he wasn't like that. Just try talking to him about how it makes you feel....it is easier and more uplifting if the person you live with/spend the most time with is on the same page. Good luck dear. :)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    This is why god gave you female friends...

    seriously though, expecting your husband to react in a way your girlfriends would is a bit unfair isnt it especially if your hubby isnt that kind of guy
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    It's not meant to be about him, your supposed to be doing it for yourself. Why would he work out with you? It's not his journey it's yours. I get you probably needed the vent but what is he doing wrong exactly?
    Nobody will care about your successes as much as you do. Please learn to accept that, or you will constantly be disappointed.

    ^This

    And if you are that upset that it pushed you to post your relationship issues with your husband on a public forum to a bunch of strangers (especially when you are so over it)....maybe look into marriage counseling or divorce.
  • DempseyWRX
    DempseyWRX Posts: 93 Member
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    This obviously would have to be answered by you personally but it's possible that his reaction stemmed from previous failures. If someone I know who is trying to get in shape, but never sticks to it, and then they expect me to get excited about it when they run once, it IS good, but there's a level of false appreciation because it doesn't continue. For instance, are you going to run tomorrow?

    Admittedly he could have shown more enthusiasm, but consistency is what is going to get you that support. I don't want you to perceive this as a personal attack on you, but I've dealt with this before with someone and while I was initially very supportive, now those one-and-done accomplishments leave me feeling empty.

    Or of course I may be way off base... I'm going with the little information provided. Hope this helps :/
  • VpinkLotus
    VpinkLotus Posts: 849 Member
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    I deal with this too on some level but I imagine he doesn't realize he's hurting you. Men sometimes just don't "get it." Sometimes you have to spell things out. "I am really need your support with this and it seems like you aren't interested in hearing my successes." He will most likely say that you are wrong he IS interested and then will show you more love from now on. Sometimes you just have to tell them what you need. Period. AWESOME you by the way!
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Nobody will care about your successes as much as you do. Please learn to accept that, or you will constantly be disappointed.

    This. I have had to learn that the obsession I have about this lifestyle change and me changing is only me. No one else around me cares, therefore mfp.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    Nobody will care about your successes as much as you do. Please learn to accept that, or you will constantly be disappointed.

    So true. Kinda like your wedding day. No one is as stoked as the bride on her wedding day. (I know, kinda off in left field. But, I went to a wedding this year & made this observation).
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
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    If I expect my husband to make a big deal about an accomplishment I start by saying, I expect high fives and an *kitten* smack for this, than I tell him what I did. That way he knows how to react and I don't get my bitty feelings hurt.
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
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    My husband couldn't give 2 craps about what I do at the gym, or on my own, or any kind of fitness accomplishment. He doesn't understand. He'll eat healthy food that I cook, but then complain that there isn't any junk in the house, and that he has to get off his butt to the junk food he wants.

    Personally, I couldn't give 2 craps that he couldn't give 2 craps. When he tells me about some car polish that he got and how fancy shmancy his car looks, I really don't care… It just doesn't interest me… just like fitness does not interest him.

    Be happy for yourself, and celebrate with you like-minded friends on here.
  • dicoveringwhoIam
    dicoveringwhoIam Posts: 480 Member
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    It would be nice for him to be excited. He joined the gym with me BC he wanted to workout too and he doesn't. Oh well, except for 3x he went and complains.

    *on a side note I had a major injury less than a yr ago that result in an Achilles tendon replacement with a donor tendon, so for me jogging across the gym yard for 3/4 of a mile is a huge fing deal.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Me: "I just squatted and deadlifted my body weight!"

    Husband: "Is that good?"

    Me: SMH

    Can't wait to see the enthusiasm and cheering that goes on when I break 200 on both of my lifts. LOL

    Doesn't stop me from lifting, though.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    My husbutt joined a gym with me last year and he drove me crazy while we were there. His idea of working out is a few quick reps on the weight machines and maybe one lap around the track.

    Needless to say, we didn't renew our membership. I'd rather workout alone. ;)

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