How to deal with jealous women?

elliejellie333
elliejellie333 Posts: 23
in Motivation and Support
Over the last 6 months I've lost a lot of weight, and am now a healthy BMI and feel so much better! The vast majority of people are so supportive and happy for me, and say I look fantastic and that I'm an inspiration. However lately I've also had some rather nasty comments from some women I work with (people I don't even know that well!), saying things like "I'm fading away", "I'm wasting away" and "Don't become anorexic/bulimic" etc.

How do you deal with women like this? It's never men that say nasty things it's only the women. I never know how to reply if someone says "I'm wasting away", because I am clearly not. Advice much appreciated!
«1

Replies

  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
    You can say "thanks for your opinion, next time I see you it'll be my turn to comment on your weight".
  • jennaworksout
    jennaworksout Posts: 1,739 Member
    they are like that to me at work too, just jealousy...I don't get it...and they are always saying I don't eat, blah blah...I just try to shrug it off...its not worth the effort anymore to defend myself....then again why should I be defending myself and my choice to eat healthy and exercise.
  • JefferyArnold
    JefferyArnold Posts: 1,479 Member
    Sadly, it will usually be the women that are saying these things. Most guys (being a guy myself) would not say things like that until you actually are too tiny.

    I find ignoring them helps... if you want to be a bi*** back to them, just say something like, who knew eatting healthy and exercising could do this to someone!! :)
  • Siegel15
    Siegel15 Posts: 100 Member
    First time I lost 40 pounds, and got to a REALLY perfect weight, I got those kinds of comments. It was always from the over weight women too.
    I felt so good and looked hot in those days, so their words made me feel actually kinda cool.
    ....hope I hear stuff like that again...
  • kmbweber2014
    kmbweber2014 Posts: 680 Member
    Women tend to look at other women's success and rather than be proud of them they are jealous and try to make them feel like crap. One of my biggest pet peeves is jealous women that feel the need to shame other women. Be proud of yourself and know they are saying it out of jealousy. You're looking good and they are jealous, take it as a compliment reply with a "Thank you" and leave it at that.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    I carry on with my daily activities and do not waste my time, breath or energy on them.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I had comments like that from my cube mate - what I did - ignored her. At my lowest I was 145, I'm 5'11 and that's perfectly healthy. I knew that. Unless you are considered "underweight" or you are doing something extreme to get the weight off, ignore the comments and be comfortable with you.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    Throat Punch

    tumblr_m5z9ugstK91rvv255o1_500.gif
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    I hate it when these kind of conversations suggest that the rude actions of a few speak for all women. And the guy who said guys don't say stuff like that? Maybe they won't say someone's wasting away, but guys will say the most vulgar, inappropriate junk when a cute girl is walking by. :sick:

    I don't know that they are jealous. Why is that always the assumption? Maybe they really do feel you're too thin. The issue is that it's none of their business. Speak up for yourself. You don't have to justify anything, but simply say, "I heard that." That'll shut 'em up. If it doesn't, tell them your weight is really none of their business, and you would appreciate they not talk about you.
  • minijag06
    minijag06 Posts: 70
    I've lost 39 lbs and mostly women at work make comments but a few men do also. I can usually shut them up by saying, "You're just used to seeing me fat." But if they go on, I say things like: 1. Have you seen how much food I bring to work? It takes me 30 minutes every night to cut up my fruits and veggies. 2. According to my BMI - I am a healthy weight.

    If they get rude, I say, "What's that, chubby?"
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    Ignore. :flowerforyou:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    You can start by not automatically assuming they are jealous. Even if it makes you feel good that they might be.
  • Siegel15
    Siegel15 Posts: 100 Member

    If they get rude, I say, "What's that, chubby?"

    This would work for me.
  • jess6742
    jess6742 Posts: 146
    Unpopular opinion: Maybe they aren't jealous. Maybe they are concerned. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight, a healthy weight can seem too low.

    People tell me I'm skinny and they are going to "fatten me up." I'm well within the healthy range for my height. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be healthy. I don't think they say things like that because they are jealous. Most of the time they just aren't used to seeing me at this smaller size.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Kill 'em with kindness - give a big smile and say "thanks for noticing!"
  • kasiaj
    kasiaj Posts: 63 Member
    When women would say to me that I'm waisting away I answer with a simple, "no, not really" and carried on.
  • norahwynn
    norahwynn Posts: 862 Member
    You can say "thanks for your opinion, next time I see you it'll be my turn to comment on your weight".

    ha! love it!!
  • freemystery
    freemystery Posts: 184 Member
    Unpopular opinion: Maybe they aren't jealous. Maybe they are concerned. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight, a healthy weight can seem too low.

    People tell me I'm skinny and they are going to "fatten me up." I'm well within the healthy range for my height. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be healthy. I don't think they say things like that because they are jealous. Most of the time they just aren't used to seeing me at this smaller size.

    This.

    Criticism is not automatically motivated by jealousy. It could be genuine concern and if it's anything else, just let it go. Do you really have the energy for this nonsense? Let them fester, it harms them more than it should harm you.
  • MishelW
    MishelW Posts: 24 Member
    Unpopular opinion: Maybe they aren't jealous. Maybe they are concerned. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight, a healthy weight can seem too low.

    People tell me I'm skinny and they are going to "fatten me up." I'm well within the healthy range for my height. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be healthy. I don't think they say things like that because they are jealous. Most of the time they just aren't used to seeing me at this smaller size.

    I agree with this. A high majority of society is overweight so when we reach our "goal" weight, which is usually the "recommended" weight it is not "normal" in most eyes. So like the others say, its really not about what they say/think... Is it?
  • msunat97
    msunat97 Posts: 516 Member
    Ignore them. Misery loves company & they want you back in their fat club. Keep doing your thing, but be there to help them understand how they can do it if they want to. Losing weight & eating healthy is "weird" & "abnormal" in our society today. Be weird & keep going.
  • MrsBozz1
    MrsBozz1 Posts: 248 Member
    Women tend to look at other women's success and rather than be proud of them they are jealous and try to make them feel like crap. One of my biggest pet peeves is jealous women that feel the need to shame other women. Be proud of yourself and know they are saying it out of jealousy. You're looking good and they are jealous, take it as a compliment reply with a "Thank you" and leave it at that.


    I agree! JEALOUSY!!! They look at you and see what they wish they could be. It is a compliment, they are upset they don't look like you! Say Thank you as if they just said you look amazing, smile and walk away! Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • skrakalaka
    skrakalaka Posts: 338 Member
    I think people just have their own opinions on ideal body size and shape. I recently put on a few lbs and started getting compliments, even though I wasn't comfortable with the weight gain. Then when I lose weight I get compliments from other people. I noticed that less active/heavier people compliment me when I'm heavier and more active/less heavy people compliment me when I weigh less. As far as the "wasting away" comments I just ignore them because that's I know that's not true. Once people get used to you looking a certain way it should stop.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Take their comments as compliments whether they are intended to be or not. They are noticing. That in itself would be a compliment to me. If they aren't people you care about (as it sounds like they aren't), who cares?
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    ignore let them waste their life worrying on your weight
  • NinjadURbacon
    NinjadURbacon Posts: 395 Member
    steal their bfs?
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Unpopular opinion: Maybe they aren't jealous. Maybe they are concerned. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight, a healthy weight can seem too low.

    People tell me I'm skinny and they are going to "fatten me up." I'm well within the healthy range for my height. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be healthy. I don't think they say things like that because they are jealous. Most of the time they just aren't used to seeing me at this smaller size.

    This is always a possibility as well.
  • podab
    podab Posts: 5
    Unpopular opinion: Maybe they aren't jealous. Maybe they are concerned. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight, a healthy weight can seem too low.

    People tell me I'm skinny and they are going to "fatten me up." I'm well within the healthy range for my height. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be healthy. I don't think they say things like that because they are jealous. Most of the time they just aren't used to seeing me at this smaller size.

    I agree with this. A high majority of society is overweight so when we reach our "goal" weight, which is usually the "recommended" weight it is not "normal" in most eyes. So like the others say, its really not about what they say/think... Is it?
  • Event_Horizon975
    Event_Horizon975 Posts: 226 Member
    I slap them upside the *kitten* with my Golden Whip.
  • podab
    podab Posts: 5
    I really agree with this, as more and more people become overweight what is a perfectly normal weight becomes skewed to underweight and unhealthy.
    to the OP just ignore and move on with your day.
    Avoid getting into a confrontation about this it is a no-win situation especially at your workplace
  • Erodahs
    Erodahs Posts: 24 Member
    Unpopular opinion: Maybe they aren't jealous. Maybe they are concerned. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight, a healthy weight can seem too low.

    People tell me I'm skinny and they are going to "fatten me up." I'm well within the healthy range for my height. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be healthy. I don't think they say things like that because they are jealous. Most of the time they just aren't used to seeing me at this smaller size.

    This is always a possibility as well.

    Yeah this is true but there are certainly more appropriate ways to bring up that kind of concern. Though I'm of the opinion especially when it deals with something that they may be trying to achieve themselves people tend to instantly think negatively about how others are accomplishing what they aren't. I actually had a girl at work come up and ask me if the surgery hurt, apparently taking a day off to visit a near by city made her think that I was either getting a lap-band or some other procedure done to explain away why I've been getting thinner ><. Again, uncouth perhaps, but take it as a compliment, whatever you are doing is noticeable and they are trying to rationalize it all be it in possibly the worst way ><

Categories