Cant seem to get motivated... so much stress.. blah!

No one can motivate you but yourself. If you can't find motivation from within, then, you must somehow come to terms with that, accept it, and move on. Only then, will you be able to achieve your gaols.

You must be strong and willing to sacrifice things you love. Otherwise, you will yo-yo.

Motivation is a day to day battle. There are days when I just don't give a crap but then the little voice in my head starts to reason with me. My advice to you is to log absolutely everything you eat and drink. Make sure you are measuring correctly and stay under on your calories. If you're doing that, you will hold yourself accountable and will have success. If you don't, you are setting yourself up for failure.

It is hard to go it alone. I'm single so at least I don't have to deal with having someone eat differently in front of me, but I still struggle with motivation. With me at least it has gotten better over time. I backslide less and less now. Having someone there would help, but being part of the community here will help. It's nice to know there are others out here facing the same challenges that we are.

No one can motivate you but yourself. If you can't find motivation from within, then, you must somehow come to terms with that, accept it, and move on. Only then, will you be able to achieve your gaols.

You must be strong and willing to sacrifice things you love. Otherwise, you will yo-yo.

It's sadly true. Sometimes it helps to lead by example, you just have to push through it and do it for you.

I'm in it alone. I've used my son as motivation for what I've done. I have a long way to go, but I'll get there. Like Eric Thomas says, "what's your why?" Find your why and it'll be easier. Realize you can do this and if you want it, you will. If I can do this, you can too. Don't look at the overall you need to lose. Break it up. Set smaller goals. Achieve those and move on to the next. You got this.

Motivation cannot be found on (or in) a computer screen. If you really have the desire in your heart to change your lifestyle and lose weight, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

It may help you to simply start logging everything right now, just to see your eating patterns and where your numbers lie. Start weighing and measuring everything as other users have stated. Be completely and totally honest. Use the MFP calculators to figure out what numbers you need to lose weight. Then determine whether or not you are willing to make the changes needed to hit your numbers. Either you're ready to do it or you're not.

A bit long-winded... sorry.

The good news is you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be better.

++See where you can make small changes on things that aren't so important to you.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.

++Focus on what you should eat not what your shouldn't.

++Eating your nutritious foods first. Your body will be more satisfied and have less cravings.

++Every couple of weeks see where you can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress. (and who doesn't have stress?)
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.
You don't have to be perfect you just have to do better.

++Rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me. (I swear this saved my life.) I was happier once I gave myself a range:

ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.

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(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)

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++Only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Forget I *NEED* to lose 20, 30, 50, 100 lbs. I'm only worried about 1 lb the next one. I'll worry about the others later.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )


Food is not the enemy. You need nutrition to fuel your body and make it strong.

Oddly enough, on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occasional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time, now the occasional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.

You need to find a better goal. Not saying that to be rude but from concern and from past experience. Pretty much every time I dieted in the past it was to hopefully lose so much weight before an event - wedding, reunion, whatever. Never stuck. Why? Because it was a fleeting and vain goal. What happens after your vacation? Will you just go back to your old ways and keep the rest of your weight on or worse, regain and keep gaining?

Think instead of lifelong goals - better health, better fitness, have more self confidence and not worry/panic every time you have an event wondering about others judging you for being the fat bride or beached whale...

Your hubby doesn't have to be in this with you in order for you to succeed. Mine isn't and would be perfectly happy living on steak with instant potatoes or mac & cheese for dinner every night with the occassional pizza or chinese mixed in. So it's up to me to plan and prepare dinner so it's mostly healthy choices. This also gives me a convenient excuse for when he wants to order pizza and I haven't planned for it with my calories - sorry honey, I have to cook this chicken or it'll go bad, we'll order pizza tomorrow. We still eat a lot of things that are yummy, I just make them healthier with some little changes - use leaner meats, low fat dairy, whole grain pastas, and add extra veggies. He rarely notices the difference.

Log your food consistently, get some activity in, eat healthy foods, plan meals as much as you can.

Self motivation is a hard thing. I remember when I first started, I felt so out of place at the gym. I was really overweight and had next to no stamina. I'd look around and see all these cut, chiseled bodies and would get absolutely depressed. One thing that helped me was getting a monitor. There are a lot of them out there and I'm not saying one is better than another. For Christmas, I received the Nike+ fuel band. It let me set my pace and goals on the bracelet - and I didn't have to share with anybody. I started simple - by walking around the block, or walking to the store instead of driving (half a mile round trip). Each day you meet your goals, you get little "attaboys" from a little cartoon character. After you've hit five in a row, he stops showing up so frequently. That was all cute. What really did it for me is that I'd decided to burn a certain number of calories a day, and the bracelet would be a constant reminder of how well I was or wasn't doing. As I was getting ready for bed, if I saw I was short a few points, I'd get my shorts on and go around the block once or twice until my bracelet lit up with a colorful "GOAL!" That was a fantastic feeling, and I'd get to bed feeling like I accomplished something. Little by little, I started increasing my daily goals. My stamina and energy levels started to go up. I started at 1500 Nike fuelpoints a day (combination of calories, steps, etc). When I was up to 2500 fuel points a day, I started going to the gym and doing cardio. I'm now at 4500 points a day. I typically go to the gym 8 times a week for 90 mins - 2 hrs at a time. Even now, my constant reminder is the little bracelet on my hand. When I'm feeling like I "don't feel like working out", I press the button and see how far I have to go to make my daily goal. That's usually enough to get my gear and my keys. When I have a great day, I treat myself to a favorite sloppy food - but keep within my daily allotted calories.

Don't give up. Stay focused. It gets better and, eventually, will be a lot of fun.

I'm certainly in a similar situation as you... lots of good intentions (the ones they say pave the road the hell?!?) but not enough follow through. I too have a rarely used gym membership. My poor excuse... I hate having to fit my workout into 30 mins then getting showered and changed to come back to work... But mornings and evenings are not convenient (and the gym is too crowded). And I'm busy at work so it's just easier to sit at my desk. How pathetic, huh?

Lorenzo made a good point in saying that the motivation has to come from you. I started doing something a few months ago and I've started seeing results! That's my inspiration to continue - the changes in the way my clothes fit and the gradual lessening of the number on the scale. Go back and read your inspirations and motivations - or if you didn't fill them in, think about it and do it now.

I found that logging my food and exercise made a huge difference in my awareness of what I was (and wasn't) doing. Certainly made me more aware of just how much I was eating. It's sbsolutely easier when YOU are doing the food preparation. I'm more likely to NOT track my food if I've eaten out. And, as you pointed out, much less aware of what's gone into it. But having support at home also helps. Can you explain to your husband how much this means to you and ask for some help from him? Tell him you'd like to cook for him more and suggest you cut down (not out!) the amount you eat out. Is it just dinner that you eat out for? What about breakfast, lunch and snacks? Do you have control over those? If so, be sure you track those accurately and pay attention to the numbers so you can make good choices.

Exercise is still where I fall short. So this is advice for me too... Surely you can walk/jog on the treadmill at the gym or ride the stationary bike without feeling like an idiot. What else is stopping you from using your membership? I've joined one of the fitness challenges on this site and am finding that helpful in getting me moving a little more. Some accountability! What else do you think will help to get you more active (be realistic)? What small changes can you make?

You have three months - you can do a lot in this time. What can we do to help you?

I read a book a few months back that said most of us know "how to" lose weight. We just have to get to our "want to" lose weight mode. And only you know what it's going to take to get there. But I am confident that you can do it.

Incidentally, I got married last June, BEFORE I lost the weight and when my wedding photos came back and I looked three months pregnant (and wasn't), that's where I personally found my "want to". We all have our own. And once the "want to" kicked in, there was no stopping me.

One piece of advice. You called yourself a couple names in your post that you would probably never let someone else call you (or at least you shouldn't let anyone call you). Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Now I know you probably used those descriptors just to make the point that you want to change from where you are to where you want to be. But I'll say it again. Be kind to yourself. You are far more than a number on a scale or the number on the tag in your clothes.

Best wishes on reaching your goals. You already have everything within you that you need to get there. Now go find it!

Do it for yourself, your health as well as your looks. Start now that you have a motivation. Remember that it's a marathon not a sprint. Take each day one at a time and the pounds will come off. Good luck.

Is it possible for you to eat your largest meal away from your husband- - -prepared at home of healthy ingredients that you like? If you are not hungry when you go out, you are more likely to make better choices no matter what he is eating. Check menus for the places you are going ahead of time.

You could also try some new places. A lot of restaurants offer both healthy options along with more indulgent choices. Sometimes, I enter what I am planning to eat into my diary ahead of time to see how it adds up.

I hope that gaining a sense of control over what you are eating increases your confidence in following your plan and makes you feel vacation sexy!

Good luck. And have a wonderful trip! Eyes on the prize, girlfriend.