Cant seem to get motivated... so much stress.. blah!

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  • teddyjazzy
    teddyjazzy Posts: 11 Member
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    Never look back. Always look ahead.

    Tell yourself no more excuses. Stress is a part of life and you have to choose how you want to deal with it.

    You want to look fab at the beach and you have 3 months to really do something about it.

    And trust me I get it! My husband gave me the biggest wake up call - He said, "just because you are eating healthy and trying to lose weight doesn't mean you have to torture the rest of us to eat healthy and lose weight".

    At that moment, I realized that only I could make the changes and sometimes the small changes might not seem so significant but they are and they add up overtime.

    Tips:

    So now, when we come home from my son's hockey game, the family does drive through at McDs but I don't get anything because I will eat a turkey sandwich with some lettuce, cherry tomatoes and dijon mustard on some dark rye or whole wheat bread as soon as I get home (it's a staple in the fridge for me). I can't believe McDs has the audacity to charge so much for what they call "food".

    I order Perrier water instead of Coke. Dressing on the side of my salad. I love Milestones and they have this Mediterranean dish that comes with 2 chicken breasts. I only eat one and brown bag the other one. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to eat it :)

    When I have the munchies because I'm watching a movie and want to do some mindless eating I will eat celery or cucumbers.

    Now don't get me wrong. This past Monday I caved and had a coke, chocolate and potato chips but I didn't allow myself to feel bad. I'm allowed to have indulgences because I don't eat like that everyday :)

    And, Jillian Michaels is your friend. If you do one of her workout videos and watch what you will eat you will look fab in 3 months :)
  • KathyPerry70
    KathyPerry70 Posts: 40 Member
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    I'm certainly in a similar situation as you... lots of good intentions (the ones they say pave the road the hell?!?) but not enough follow through. I too have a rarely used gym membership. My poor excuse... I hate having to fit my workout into 30 mins then getting showered and changed to come back to work... But mornings and evenings are not convenient (and the gym is too crowded). And I'm busy at work so it's just easier to sit at my desk. How pathetic, huh?

    Lorenzo made a good point in saying that the motivation has to come from you. I started doing something a few months ago and I've started seeing results! That's my inspiration to continue - the changes in the way my clothes fit and the gradual lessening of the number on the scale. Go back and read your inspirations and motivations - or if you didn't fill them in, think about it and do it now.

    I found that logging my food and exercise made a huge difference in my awareness of what I was (and wasn't) doing. Certainly made me more aware of just how much I was eating. It's sbsolutely easier when YOU are doing the food preparation. I'm more likely to NOT track my food if I've eaten out. And, as you pointed out, much less aware of what's gone into it. But having support at home also helps. Can you explain to your husband how much this means to you and ask for some help from him? Tell him you'd like to cook for him more and suggest you cut down (not out!) the amount you eat out. Is it just dinner that you eat out for? What about breakfast, lunch and snacks? Do you have control over those? If so, be sure you track those accurately and pay attention to the numbers so you can make good choices.

    Exercise is still where I fall short. So this is advice for me too... Surely you can walk/jog on the treadmill at the gym or ride the stationary bike without feeling like an idiot. What else is stopping you from using your membership? I've joined one of the fitness challenges on this site and am finding that helpful in getting me moving a little more. Some accountability! What else do you think will help to get you more active (be realistic)? What small changes can you make?

    You have three months - you can do a lot in this time. What can we do to help you?
  • dvelocity
    dvelocity Posts: 309 Member
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    So many great comments here and I am not sure that I can add too much to any of this. My favorite is that we can't motivate you that comes from within you.

    I don't go to the gym, maybe some day down the road but I am getting started by making a habit of exercise. I like videos, 30 day shred, I have some biggest loser workout, I also have just dance for the wii at that will leave me sweating I swim in the pool.

    These are all things that I enjoy right now. Maybe as my self confidence improves I will hit the gym. The point I am trying to make is just do some form of activity you enjoy. Keep trying until you find something.

    What I have learned in the past is that unless you find that perfect exercise partner they for the most part suck. They let you make exscuses or you let them make exscuses. Somebody doesn't show up so the other is by themselves.

    But I love exercising alone - it is my time to process my day, my thoughts, my hopes and dreams.

    What we have in common is that I eat out probably about 7-10 meals a week. You can still lose weight and eat out. It's not the best way but it can be done.

    Feel free to friend me.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
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    I read a book a few months back that said most of us know "how to" lose weight. We just have to get to our "want to" lose weight mode. And only you know what it's going to take to get there. But I am confident that you can do it.

    Incidentally, I got married last June, BEFORE I lost the weight and when my wedding photos came back and I looked three months pregnant (and wasn't), that's where I personally found my "want to". We all have our own. And once the "want to" kicked in, there was no stopping me.

    One piece of advice. You called yourself a couple names in your post that you would probably never let someone else call you (or at least you shouldn't let anyone call you). Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Now I know you probably used those descriptors just to make the point that you want to change from where you are to where you want to be. But I'll say it again. Be kind to yourself. You are far more than a number on a scale or the number on the tag in your clothes.

    Best wishes on reaching your goals. You already have everything within you that you need to get there. Now go find it!
  • cazcarr89
    cazcarr89 Posts: 34
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    Only you can motivate yourself, I am the same but something in my head just 'swtiches' and suddenyl im in the zone and strict and disciplined. Right now I'm not in that place but I've got to force myself to get to that place. Don't worry about going to the gym alone, probably most of the people at the gym are alone! I used to go with a friend and she would hurry me on every machine and want to leave so I found it easier going on my own!
  • BlackPup
    BlackPup Posts: 242 Member
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    Do it for yourself, your health as well as your looks. Start now that you have a motivation. Remember that it's a marathon not a sprint. Take each day one at a time and the pounds will come off. Good luck.
  • Turnaround2012
    Turnaround2012 Posts: 362 Member
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    Motivation cannot be found on (or in) a computer screen. If you really have the desire in your heart to change your lifestyle and lose weight, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find excuses.

    It may help you to simply start logging everything right now, just to see your eating patterns and where your numbers lie. Start weighing and measuring everything as other users have stated. Be completely and totally honest. Use the MFP calculators to figure out what numbers you need to lose weight. Then determine whether or not you are willing to make the changes needed to hit your numbers. Either you're ready to do it or you're not.

    ^^This is right on!
  • Smileyange
    Smileyange Posts: 5
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    Thanks for all the input... its not about just looks.. I want to feel better.. my mom has been in a motorized wheelchair since she was 46 or so... and I am 33.. dont want to do the same... and I wont.. I just have this mental block.. dont know why and not sure what has built it... I for the most part eat healthy... i am rarely active I know that is an issue... and some days Im a go get em.. but most.. im like why bother getting out of bed... im tired of being tired all the time.. and I guess I am my own worst enemy.. My husband.. says he loves me no matter what and prefers to not change.. he likes to smoke cigs and drink when he can... so then we go out.. and I end up feeling even more like crap.. I have begged that we not go out at least as often... but he just says.. I dont love him for him... its so depressing and exhausting.. then I am dealing with an alienator of an ex husband and his wife who are trying to ruin my relationship with my youngest son as they have done with my eldest.. so by the end of the day.. im pooped. I now work super early now so AM is not an option to work out.. I know it seems like excuses.. and I see it.. first thing first tracking... I appreciate all the comments.. and look forward to sharing the success.
  • smaihlee
    smaihlee Posts: 171 Member
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    Sorry that you are dealing with so many stresses in life. Sometimes those, and seeing the pain others are dealing with, are enough to provide you the boost you need to kick your own butt in gear. It says this on my page, but one of the things that really lit a fire in me was having knee pain and realizing I could end up on a cane if I kept living the way I was for the rest of my days. There is a morbidly obese lady in my workplace that uses a cane and even had to move her desk downstairs because she can no longer climb stairs.

    As far as having everyone join your party, you're just going to have to dig down and decide what's more important to you--pleasing/pacifying others or doing what you need to in order to improve yourself. Sometimes, being that role model can help spur others on to a healthier lifestyle. Once you start making changes and gain confidence, I think you'll find that it creates a positive chain reaction in that your confidence will help change the outcome of some of the stressful situations you're currently dealing with.

    Best of luck!! Feel free to add me as a friend :)
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
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    Is it possible for you to eat your largest meal away from your husband- - -prepared at home of healthy ingredients that you like? If you are not hungry when you go out, you are more likely to make better choices no matter what he is eating. Check menus for the places you are going ahead of time.

    You could also try some new places. A lot of restaurants offer both healthy options along with more indulgent choices. Sometimes, I enter what I am planning to eat into my diary ahead of time to see how it adds up.

    I hope that gaining a sense of control over what you are eating increases your confidence in following your plan and makes you feel vacation sexy!

    Good luck. And have a wonderful trip! Eyes on the prize, girlfriend.

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