Hiding weight loss to avoid snark

clairedrose
clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
in Motivation and Support
Has anyone else tried to hide or downplay their weight journey? Friends and family are beginning to notice the weigh loss.Initially, I told no one except DH because I didn't want the sabotage crew out in force while I was learning new habits. Now that I have lost 25 lbs,11 since MFP, it's becoming obvious. When my smallest pants could be slipped off w/o unzipping I knew I had to break down and buy new clothes. DH encouraged me to get something more form fitting even tho I have another 30-40 pounds to go. SO I feel good, but the comments range from nice to nasty. "Wow, you are looking so healthy" My favorite. To " I'm impressed you wore that. A lot of people would have waited til they lost more weight" the most snarky. Plus now the food pushing starts. I'm glad I waited and kept wearing baggie stuff because it's going to be much harder to derail me. Actually impossible. But why do people do that?

Replies

  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    Sounds like you have some really nice friends!!! No, I never experienced this.
  • clairedrose
    clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
    Not close friends, more like people I see at meetings and relatives. My good friends say the good stuff.
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
    They're jealous. And they want to hear that you did it all with the latest fad diet or magic pill, not the "eat less move more" stuff. That's too much work.

    At this point, you have an iron-clad reason to refuse what they push at you. They can't argue with the success you've had doing exactly what you're doing.
  • kckc69
    kckc69 Posts: 46 Member
    I totally get this, Jealousy plays a huge part of peoples snarky remarks, I like to keep my weight loss to myself to also avoid these types of comments, also so people dont try to turn all my efforts into bad things, like, your losing too fast, wow thats too much weight to lose, I think you would be fine at this weight, thats not healthy bla bla bla. Honestly You just do what you are doing, and do what makes you happy I reckon.

    People can be cruel and i believe its all jealousy anything they can do to discourage you, this is the world we live in, tottally competitive and everyone always feeling like they need a 1 up on people
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Just a quote an article I found:

    People who are themselves overweight (two-thirds of Americans) feel threatened. Most people struggle with weight issues. 'If I am fat and you go on a diet, you put me in the uncomfortable position of feeling bad about my own weight; deciding to do something about it, which I may not be ready to do; or trying to talk you out of what you are doing'.

    People who are threatened fight back.

    Sexual anxiety is also a part of it. If the person gets thin, they may find someone else. That is a factor. 'My wife is getting so sexy, she may dump me.'"

    Co-workers tend to be competitive. If you are succeeding at something, even losing weight, it makes them look less successful. Plus, you might attract notice for a promotion.

    While I haven't experienced saboteurs myself, I've seen it happen plenty of times. There are quite a few people on this board that think it never happens; that it's all in the imagination of the person trying to lose weight, but I disagree. There are people who see someone succeeding at what they themselves have failed at as a direct affront to their own level of success and value, and they will consciously or subconsciously try to put a stop to it.
  • dconnolly818
    dconnolly818 Posts: 43 Member
    I haven't encountered that, and I'm so sorry that you have. I'd chalk it up to people being jealous that you are bettering yourself when they (probably)aren't. Focus on how you feel and what your good friends say and forget the haters. Keep up the awesome work!
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
    I for sure don't post it on Facebook because to some they can notice and to others they may not, so I just don't want the critizism. And while it's nice when people in front of me notice, they're actually starting to make me a little uncomfortable. My change is becoming so drastic (in a good way) that I get the :-O "Wooww!! Look at you!!", then they stare and gawk at me. Then I get the "You're doing soooo goood! Keep going, don't stop"...."you're going to be sooo skinny, keep it up". I appreciate the encouragement and the noticing now, but sometimes I don't know how to handle the comments and I don't know how to respond. Expecially when I still have so far to go. I think to myself, "yeah, it's alot of weight down, but it's still a long ways to go."
  • clairedrose
    clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
    They're jealous. And they want to hear that you did it all with the latest fad diet or magic pill, not the "eat less move more" stuff. That's too much work.

    At this point, you have an iron-clad reason to refuse what they push at you. They can't argue with the success you've had doing exactly what you're doing.
    [/quote
    Yes, I think jealousy is part of it, tho some of them are skinny. I am also getting comments on how I'm doing it. I took 2 years to lose 25 pounds. I don't care, cuz it took me longer than that to put it on. But a couple people who I thought really were interested said I must be doing something wrong because it's taking too long. Ha. I said I must be doing something right cuz what I lose stays lost.
  • lnorth9
    lnorth9 Posts: 1 Member
    I've never experienced that. I don't think. But I do find I want to hide what I'm doing out of fear that ... What?
    Maybe out of fear that I won't meet others' expectations (like they really, actually have any).
  • nosanl620
    nosanl620 Posts: 1
    I think some people just don't want to see others succeed. I am glad you don't let the insensitive people get you down. Fortunately, there are more positive than negative people in the world!
  • Girlrose
    Girlrose Posts: 127 Member
    I know exactly what you mean. Most people are very supportive, but now that I'm just losing the last five pounds, then focusing on building muscle, I have noticed a bit more negativity. Friends (some of whom weigh much more than me), will say things like, "You think YOU need to lose weight? Are you crazy? Somebody give this girl a cupcake." Some of alluded to the idea that I might have an eating disorder or something just because I ordered a salad and they knew I was working out later.

    You definitely did the right thing in wearing the baggy clothes for longer so you don't get off track from any of those comments. Best of luck to you and I'm glad your husband is supportive. :-)

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