disusted with myself.

bel74
bel74 Posts: 32 Member
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
i've only been on my weight loss journey for a week now and i've worked real hard at making sure i exercise everyday,trying to drink more water as well as watching my calorie intake. i feel so much better,more energy,sleeping better generally im in a better frame of mind. so i thought i'd take a look at myself in the mirror( in my underwear) and see what im really up againts ( i only use two mirrors,ones in the bathroom at shoulder hight and the other is a small make-up mirror,my daughter has a full lenght mirror in her bedroom but i avoid it at all costs) i can honestly say i have never felt so disusted and embarrassed by what i saw,how the hell did i let myself get like this.at first i wanted to cry then i got angry with myself.
so now i feel more self-conscious than ever and im feeling real down today.i know im making steps to change what i see im the mirror but at the moment it seems along way off untill i can start to feel better about myself :cry:
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Replies

  • jbee1165
    jbee1165 Posts: 1
    Hang in there. We are all on this journey together.
  • Beebee78
    Beebee78 Posts: 703
    Please don't be disgusted with yourself. At least you recognise your repsonsibility for what you weigh and are doing something about it chick.

    Massive massive huggles xxx
  • maprotano
    maprotano Posts: 11
    I so identify with this!! I'm using the mirror as motivation, but maybe for a while you can just ignore your daughter's mirror. It's going to take time until you see a physical difference. You are already experiencing the inner difference. Keep going!!
  • kathyandserge
    kathyandserge Posts: 1
    Don't let it get you down, instead use this as motivation. You can and will change and in the future when that change is happening and you consider not working out or eating an extra this or that...try to remember how you felt this morning. You will overcome and it will get better but don't feel down... feel determined!
  • sallyLunn
    sallyLunn Posts: 381
    Then, don't look in that full length mirror for a month while you work on sorting things out. You can be disgusted with yourself, but for only 10 minutes, then its time to get to work. They fact that you are doing something about it now counts.

    Everything will be ok if you just let it. (and work really hard)

    Peace.
  • Sarahbear83
    Sarahbear83 Posts: 110 Member
    Try to focus on the things that will be changing and being realistic with yourself about your body. There's nothing disgusting about where you are with your weight, especially if you are working towards a healthier body.
  • just4peachy
    just4peachy Posts: 594 Member
    Use your anger and turn it into motivation to change things! This is SUCH a difficult journey, especially when you start out with negativity. I'd hate to see your anger turn into discouragment and cause you to lose your way.
    You've taken the first step, keep up the good work and be proud of what you're doing!!
  • beth2411
    beth2411 Posts: 54 Member
    Same here feel exactly the same as you. Trying to think positive now and think about what i am gonna do and not what i have done. Chin up keep smiling we are all in the same boat together. :smile:

    url=http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker]2025728.png[/url]
  • takethepieces
    takethepieces Posts: 98
    I get down like this sometimes when I can't buy the clothes I want because they'll look horrible on me, but now I just try to focus on the fact that it won't always be like this. I'm doing something about it now and eventually I will get there. I've spent years and years feeling this way, years piling on the weight and years dreaming of how I would feel when I reach my goal...what is just one year to achieve it?

    Also, I have a huge amount of weight to lose but I've lost 57lbs and three dress sizes so far...since Feb. It goes quicker than you think and before you know it you'll be noticing the changes and loving your body just a little bit more because, even if it's not how you want it, it's better than it was before.
  • repochick
    repochick Posts: 40 Member
    I can totally feel your pain. I have been doing this for a month now and although I am down 15 lbs I still see the same fat girl in the mirror and was getting discouraged. But I keep plugging at it and trying to stay positive. I have found I have so much more energy and feel better and I am happier to be around. That is worth more than the image in the mirror.
    Then yesterday when I looked I started to see some definition of my stomach going in. It was a great feeling! I just have to remember to keep the big picture in my mind and not keep seeing the fat girl in the mirror. She is on her way out the door faster than she knows.
    Keep up the fight! And remember there is some great support on here that will help you get through it.
    Good Luck.
    Jenn
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
    Oh hon, I know just what you mean and just how you feel! It probably doesn't help to hear but I think it's a totally normal reaction when you finally reach the point of being READY to take charge and CHANGE yourself back to the better. So be angry if you feel angry, but don't succumb to despair! Turn it into fuel for your fire :) One day at a time and you'll turn it around. You said so yourself that you are feeling better and feeling changes on the inside. True change happens that way - from the inside out. Hang on to that hunger (pardon the term) to improve!

    I am about 25 pounds down (23 at my last weigh but I only weigh once a month) - I am miles from where I was when I started and I feel great! In fact I feel way better than I look (or than I think I should look, based on how I feel). So it still gets to me sometimes too. But I don't let it take over. I'm getting to where I want to be and so are you - just keep at it - Every good day is a step in the right direction.

    Til then, vent whenever you need to. :) xoxo
  • hmrtym
    hmrtym Posts: 49 Member
    Use your anger when you are working out! It will motivate you to keep doing better! Take measurements of your body now, so you will have another way to tell your hard work is paying off. Remember there are many others taking this journey with you--YOU CAN DO IT!!
  • lesleyuk
    lesleyuk Posts: 57
    I know exactly how you feel. SInce starting to sort my self out about a month I have looked in the mirror that I ever did. In the showers I use at work there is a full length mirror. I am telling you me standing in from of that naked gives me nightmares but then I have to think - yes I did this to myself - now I am going to sort it out. I just have to accept responsibility for it and also accept that is going to have to me who takes control of myself. Thats what I am aiming to do.

    Stay with it. You can do this. It might take a little while but just imagine how you will feel in a few months time.
  • crasula
    crasula Posts: 53 Member
    You're not alone, i wouldn't be surprised if we've all felt like that at some point in our lives.

    You're in control of your choices now, keep that image in the back of your mind and it'll drive you harder to find that motivation which you need to make the changes in your life which will help you to feel good about yourself again. Feeling bad about the way i looked compared to the way i used to look drove me to losing 4 stones in 4 months and i've learnt my lesson now, i'll never go back.

    Sometimes we just need a big shock to drive us to make important changes in our lives, this is your big shock and now you have the motive to change it. I'm sure we'll see you back here in a few months telling us how much you've lost, got complete faith in you ;)
  • pickledlilly
    pickledlilly Posts: 98 Member
    Ditto, I can't even take a photo yet. Stick with it, it can only come good.
  • kats2
    kats2 Posts: 8
    That is exactly how I feel but never knew how to put it in to words.

    I get through each day by saying this is my last day at this weight, then push on till tomorrow etc
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    hi ya,can i give a little advice,if you dont mind that is,,,,
    1.if you have quite a bit of weight to loose dont bother looking in the mirror you wont see where its coming off,when you 1st start out on your weight loss trip take measurements EVERYWHERE!! you WILL see a big difference there i promise you that.even take a photo of yourself and hide it somewhere out of mind too and go check them every few months it really does help like that..
  • lcrabbs
    lcrabbs Posts: 6 Member
    Everyone feels that way sometimes no matter what they look like. Don't be so hard on yourself. You made it through one week.... It'll get easier and in a few more weeks you will be excited to look in the mirror. Stick with it and good luck!
  • megannnn15
    megannnn15 Posts: 36 Member
    I know exactly how you feel! I am severely overweight for my age and my height, when i looked at what i was up against i had the same feelings. What we are all trying to do is difficult, but i think that is why we all find ourselves in this community, these are people trying to achieve the same goals we are! Hang it there we are all here for you!!
  • MarshaTyreeEdwards
    MarshaTyreeEdwards Posts: 13 Member
    GIRL I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!.....we have to take it one day at a time.
  • katxena
    katxena Posts: 12
    You can be disgusted with yourself, but for only 10 minutes, then its time to get to work.

    I love this advice. I saw a therapist many years ago who told me this -- that I could feel anything I wanted for for 10 minutes, then I needed to turn to something else. The point is that you feel the way you feel, and that's ok. You can knowledge and respect those feelings, but then you need to keep your eyes on the prize.

    It's amazing how many situations this advice comes in handy.
  • baker_c
    baker_c Posts: 251 Member
    Don't let this get you down! Focus on your good qualities. Do you have pretty eyes? Kind Heart? Smart as ever? Great Mom and or wife. We all have to start somewhere and you need to focus on what you can do today. You may not be where you want to be but your on the right path! You can do it -I'm sure you are an amazing woman - focuss on that. :smile: :smile: :smile:
  • Joyjmb
    Joyjmb Posts: 221 Member
    Remember that show 'How to Look Better Naked' where he made them stand in front of the mirror in bra and panties? But he asked them, with all the faults you perceive, what do you LIKE about your body? And they grudgingly had to acknowledge a few!

    I have muscles in my calves that could cut diamonds. (I'm a tubby runner!)
    Even tho I'm heavy, my clavicles occasionally show!
    I have devastating eyes.
    I don't tan, so my skin is white and soft.

    Look again, WHAT DID YOU NOT NOTICE THAT YOU LIKED!???
  • amyhollingsworth13
    amyhollingsworth13 Posts: 14
    Send hugs your way. I know how you feel, probably many of us have felt that way or we wouldn't be here. Not sure if this will help, but I had that moment of disgust with myself right before I started following this plan, I have been working on redirecting that energy to making the change I want to see in myself. For me feeling accountable for the reflection I see in the mirror (or the image in the photograph) has been extremely empowering.

    From what I have seen online, you are truly beautiful inside and out.

    Amy
  • JustBeckyV
    JustBeckyV Posts: 182
    Its hard when you hit that realization but you did and that's what is important. I do believe for some of us we have to hit a rock bottom of sorts to change our lives. Maybe not to the extreme as a drug addict but that thing that makes it go ENOUGH and it's time to change!! Good for you for finding that and making those changes in your life to make it better!!
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    I am sorry you saw yourself that way. Please go back, put a smile on your face and try to see what other people see that love you. The physical is just a season you are passing through. You had been feeling great because you have focused on your potential, your ability to return to a healthy state with less aches and pain. See yourself for the motivated, dedicated powerful individual you are and make peace with the image in the mirror. Remember there are lots of skinny folk that can't bear to self examine either. And when you see an old person do you feel disgust or a respect for the life they have lived. Our reflection is always going to change, love it with the same compassion you show others.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I agree with taking a picture now and hiding it...i have recently been devistated! I have been eating healthy and going to the gym very regularily for the last two months, and i have gained 5 lbs...it's disheartening to know that i'm not getting quick results, i mean i work my *kitten* off! but then i realize (with the help of people on here) that i've just started my journey...i want smaller sooner not larger later, but unfortunetly you won't notice any difference when you look in the mirror today or six months from now. Other people will comment on how your double chin doesn't seem so prominant, or "geez you look good, is eating cheating?" but you won't notice a difference. Give it a minute, you will...with our help and motivation, you will be happy, healthy, strong and confident.
  • Ashykins
    Ashykins Posts: 233
    You can be disgusted with yourself, but for only 10 minutes, then its time to get to work.

    I love this advice. I saw a therapist many years ago who told me this -- that I could feel anything I wanted for for 10 minutes, then I needed to turn to something else. The point is that you feel the way you feel, and that's ok. You can knowledge and respect those feelings, but then you need to keep your eyes on the prize.

    It's amazing how many situations this advice comes in handy.

    I am stealing this!

    I've felt the same way for awhile, I realize now that I am changing my body is changing everyday, and I will see all my hard work soon, these days go by so fast that before you know it, you'll be at your goal! We are like wine, we get better with time!
  • 2hdesign
    2hdesign Posts: 153
    For me, I've only lost 10lbs/2 inches in about 4 months (because exercise only... I'm just now starting to tackel the food issue). Looking in the mirror was really hard (and still is), but I simply try and find something I like and then move on. The key is NOT to dwell on the negative. Something that also helped was seeing that firs 1/4 inch come off on the tape measure, even though I looked the same in the mirror. Now I'm still big, but my calf muscles are defined and I'm starting to get some definition on my upper arms... it's encouraging. Find ways to think postively and stick with it because it is SO worth it!
  • countdowntotarget
    countdowntotarget Posts: 108 Member
    by the sounds of what Ive read we are all in the same boat - we all have good days bad days on everything for me I always put it down to my weight - didnt get the job/ man etc because of my weight ......... but you have to turn it into a positive and it is SO hard sometimes..... I put the weight on when I had the kids .... but your body was AMAZING enough to produce the kids.....and the stretch marks? OK are not the most attractive things to look at but look at what they represent ( preferably not when the kids are having a tantrum !! lol ) I am the worst person for putting myself down but I really do try and snap myself out of it most of the times I can, but sometimes I cant and thats natural, you wouldnt be normal if you were upbeat and positive ALL the time accept the emotion, deal with it at that time and move on as quickly as you can... sorry if this rambles WE ARE ALL GREAT, WE ARE ALL HERE........WE ARE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER ........Doesnt that mean something ???
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