I knew something was wrong with my wifes diet plan.

2

Replies

  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    Unless she has more than 100 lbs to lose she shouldn't be eating at a 2 lb deficit to start with and 1300 calories is pretty low plus probably below her BMR. I'm 55, 5'2" and 115 lbs and my BMR is 1200. You might want to reevaluate the deficit setting you've chosen for her because you probably don't need to knock 500 calories a day off her budget.
  • jus_in_bello
    jus_in_bello Posts: 326 Member
    Why isn't your wife doing this for herself?
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
    After 46 years of marriage I have learned it is best to blame it on someone else like a computer glitch.:wink:

    Ha ha ha!
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Ok heres the deal. I keep track and log in my wifes info on her eating. Every time she attempted it she got frustrated and walked away. I was the one that set up her account. Today after reading about the 1200 cal concern i felt compelled to look at hers. -2 a week and she was at 1800+ cal. Ok something wrong so i did a check on the info i set her up with. OMG i set her height at 5' 7" instead of 5' 1". I feel like such an *kitten*. However even with my mistake she has still be able to drop -8 lbs in 1 month. But think about what i have done, setting the bar down is not an easy thing to do after being use to eating 500 calories more. Shes at work right now so she doesn't know. Not sure how to err break this error i made to her.

    Did you see the thread "The Men Who Made Us Fat"? :laugh:
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
    Unless she has more than 100 lbs to lose she shouldn't be eating at a 2 lb deficit to start with and 1300 calories is pretty low plus probably below her BMR. I'm 55, 5'2" and 115 lbs and my BMR is 1200. You might want to reevaluate the deficit setting you've chosen for her because you probably don't need to knock 500 calories a day off her budget.

    Yes, and sometimes even if you WANT a larger deficit you get better results achieving it through exercise rather than calorie deprivation, every time I drop my calories too low not only do I not lose weight, but after a few weeks of it I fall off the wagon and have a binge.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    In case quantity matters, I'll echo in: Why suggest she eat less when what she is eating is working? Don't change a thing until/if that calorie level stops working for her.

    If my husband asked me to eat 500 calories less just because ... :devil: :mad: :explode:
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    I remember this one time, I bought a car that worked exactly as it should have. I couldn't wait to get it to a mechanic so he could fix it.

    It was a Honda, wasn't it?

    Everyone's always wanting to "fix" the Hondas.

    Get outta my head!

    3597_zpse5469a24.jpg

    Seriously, WHY?? I bet there's a nitro tank in the trunk, too. Or a ridiculous sound system.

    *goes off to figure out whether gull wings can go on a C-RV*

    No idea. I've never had a car with matching doors, or without at least one part held on with a twisted coat hanger. Some day I hope to make enough money to gull wing and NOS out a Pacer.
  • crystalbishop5059
    crystalbishop5059 Posts: 19 Member
    Every time she attempted it she got frustrated and walked away. I was the one that set up her account.

    ... and I bet every other time she was eating closer to 1300 calories and it was too hard to do. Let her lose at a slower, more maintainable pace. It will be easier for her to 'stick' with it. It's working for now - don't make this harder than it needs to be!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Unless she has more than 100 lbs to lose she shouldn't be eating at a 2 lb deficit to start with and 1300 calories is pretty low plus probably below her BMR. I'm 55, 5'2" and 115 lbs and my BMR is 1200. You might want to reevaluate the deficit setting you've chosen for her because you probably don't need to knock 500 calories a day off her budget.

    He posted in another thread that she has more than 100 pounds to lose. The rate of loss is fine. If she was a much lower weight, she would not be losing at a rate of 2 pounds a week on 1800 calories.
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 1,029 Member
    As you have no doubt picked up from the other posts, your behaviors are decidedly enabling. For your wife to make lasting change in her life, she has to have the desire strongly enough to drive her to do the steps that are needed. One of those, if MFP is chosen, is for her to spend a few moments to figure out how it works. We all know that it is fairly intuitive and that if a person decides to lose weight and maintain the loss, it is doable. I also agree with the comments from others that if your wife is losing weight with her current setting for MFP, then they should not be revised. Let her know of your error, offer to help her learn MFP, and then step aside and let her track it. Good luck.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    Ok heres the deal. I keep track and log in my wifes info on her eating. Every time she attempted it she got frustrated and walked away. I was the one that set up her account. Today after reading about the 1200 cal concern i felt compelled to look at hers. -2 a week and she was at 1800+ cal. Ok something wrong so i did a check on the info i set her up with. OMG i set her height at 5' 7" instead of 5' 1". I feel like such an *kitten*. However even with my mistake she has still be able to drop -8 lbs in 1 month. But think about what i have done, setting the bar down is not an easy thing to do after being use to eating 500 calories more. Shes at work right now so she doesn't know. Not sure how to err break this error i made to her.

    Don't change a thing!! It's working.
    ( smh at know-it-all men)

    ^^^This except if she doesn't take control and do it herself she wont maintain this....SHE has to want it bad enough not to get frustrated and walk away...you can make it easier for her by setting up her meals and her food for her but beyond that time to walk away from logging her food...
    Logging her food is something i am helping her learn to do, she has a bit of trouble with filling out certain items, finding stuff, and the like. She is watching me log her food so its not like she expecting me to do it for her, she just wants to learn how to do it, i have to admit i had a few slips when i first looked at the site.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    I wouldn't change anything if it's working but I would tell her of your mistake just in case it stops working. That way she'll be prepared if she has to take on a bigger deficit. If this was her first month it's likely much of that 8 pounds was water weight so next month may not be as successful. Yeah, play it out at 1800 but definitely tell her now so that you don't have to tell her after another month of her being used to eating that much.
    Well we didnt actually factor in that she lost weight from the previous year we only counted up to what she weighed in at when she started her account on MFP. She was 252 last year and a few months before joining, down to 235. You are all right though about leaving it as is but shes stuck on this 222lb rut that she expected to drop since its the end of the week. she lost the 8lbs in a month and its now into the end of week 1 on month 2. Logically she would have dropped 2lbs this week. This is why i went over her logs with a fine tooth comb. I know there is not much on the site with her loggin but she has a book we had been using before this. I think its at a point where she is going to have to cut down a bit to lose but we will see by the end of week 6.
  • lifesigns64
    lifesigns64 Posts: 110
    Don't cut until she stops losing . . . she's doing great at 1800 . . cut when the losses severely slow down or stop.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    Don't cut until she stops losing . . . she's doing great at 1800 . . cut when the losses severely slow down or stop.
    Exactly, although i will tell her so she does not think its something shes doing wrong. Just a plan B backup.
  • mebepiglet123
    mebepiglet123 Posts: 327 Member
    What e erone has said....Leave it, if she plateaus then cut back 8lbs in a month is a good loss. She's obviously quite active.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    I think that if you calculated out her TDEE, she's probably dead on at 1800. You might be proving the whole eat more to lose theory.
  • clairedrose
    clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
    I want to chime in that I think it's fine for you to log her food as long as she's ok with it. My DH is terrible with tech and why add to the stress of overhauling your lifestyle by doing something you suck at! After all celebrities have coaches and cooks,etc. Why shouldn't your wife be a celebrity at home! That said, she is bound to eat out of her macros and calories some day. I'd suggest not making a deal out of it. Just log and go on the way people do who are in it for the long haul. I also think you should leave her at 1800 calls but do tell her. She might be glad to know you can screw up,especially since it led to her not starving. 1200 calories is awful!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    In...

    ...because interesting.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    Let's face it: you don't have a wife and that's not you in the pic, either.

    All ready for school next month? :-)
  • clairedrose
    clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
    I just saw that she plateaued for a week. That happens give it more time before cutting back. I have gone 3 weeks and then lost.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    Let's face it: you don't have a wife and that's not you in the pic, either.

    All ready for school next month? :-)
    Heres a inside tip, you want to see us friend me in facebook and u can see my wife. If she even knew i ever posted a pic of her on here i would be single in no time :P

    James D Fralic
  • glowgirl14
    glowgirl14 Posts: 200 Member
    Okay, like everyone else is saying it is working. I'd tell her of the mistake, but also say, "But for now your calorie level is working, lets recalculate if you stop losing."

    This.

    And I'd also add that 1200 calories is a really bad idea. I lost down to a healthy weight doing that, and then promptly stopped because I wasn't getting enough nutrition. I'm 5'4, and was stuck between 130 (starving myself) and 138 (eating enough to barely function) for two years. Now I'm eating 1800-2000 a day and I'm down to 127. And...you have to be patient. 8lbs a month is GREAT.

    Depending on how much activity she does, "recalculating" might even be UPPING her intake when she stops losing, not lowering it. Try to force her down to something that she can't sustain on a long term basis, and make her feel deprived, and something that hurts her body...she's going to be angry and resentful, and you're going to be frustrated with her.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    I just saw that she plateaued for a week. That happens give it more time before cutting back. I have gone 3 weeks and then lost.

    I agree completely but in the end it will be her choice once i tell her the error on what she wants to do. I am her partner not her coach.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    Okay, like everyone else is saying it is working. I'd tell her of the mistake, but also say, "But for now your calorie level is working, lets recalculate if you stop losing."

    This.

    And I'd also add that 1200 calories is a really bad idea. I lost down to a healthy weight doing that, and then promptly stopped because I wasn't getting enough nutrition. I'm 5'4, and was stuck between 130 (starving myself) and 138 (eating enough to barely function) for two years. Now I'm eating 1800-2000 a day and I'm down to 127. And...you have to be patient. 8lbs a month is GREAT.

    Depending on how much activity she does, "recalculating" might even be UPPING her intake when she stops losing, not lowering it. Try to force her down to something that she can't sustain on a long term basis, and make her feel deprived, and something that hurts her body...she's going to be angry and resentful, and you're going to be frustrated with her.

    Its calculates to over 1300+ calories but to be honest she was complaining that she couldn't eat close to her calorie count so i honestly think this will come more as a relief for her. keep in mind she was suppose to consume 1800+ calories a day.
  • glowgirl14
    glowgirl14 Posts: 200 Member
    Well then...I'd say cut a little, not a lot...one week does not make a plateau...I stress if I don't lose one week, but I know I'm doing the right thing for my body right now.

    look at her macros. Does she eat a lot sugar or carbs? How much exercise does she get? Maybe play with those numbers and cut her intake by 200 calories if she doesn't lose for another week or two. Such a drastic cut is just scary. And you should never eat below your BMR. That kills your metabolism. It will make you physically ill over time, as well as interfere with your mental abilities. I know you want her to succeed, and it's sweet that you're helping her -- so many gals on here have no support at home. If she's onboard and you're helping her stay with it, great...but you are going to hurt her if you take her too low.

    BTW, with my weight loss...I upped my calories, and was losing 1.7lbs a week (even this close to goal) I lost from 134 to 125 in a month...I upped my exercise, but didn't increase my calories enough...I was netting 1000 a day, and I gained 3lbs, and have just now started losing again -- when I upped my calories to a healthy point.
  • james6998
    james6998 Posts: 743 Member
    We agreed on 1500ish thats what she wanted anyways. Time will tell.
  • volume77
    volume77 Posts: 670 Member
    I remember this one time, I bought a car that worked exactly as it should have. I couldn't wait to get it to a mechanic so he could fix it.


    lololol
  • lifesigns64
    lifesigns64 Posts: 110
    Don't cut until she stops losing . . . she's doing great at 1800 . . cut when the losses severely slow down or stop.
    Exactly, although i will tell her so she does not think its something shes doing wrong. Just a plan B backup.


    Your a good husband!!
  • volume77
    volume77 Posts: 670 Member
    id just be honest with her that u made a mistake but then be like well at least you can eat 1800! I mean that's actually really cool ! u found out she doesn't have to starve to lose! see everything happens for a reason
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    I think that if you calculated out her TDEE, she's probably dead on at 1800. You might be proving the whole eat more to lose theory.


    Riiiight... Or, just maybe, the laws of physics are true, and it's the estimate of tdee, based on population averages, that is not accurate in this particular case.

    OP, keep doing what you are doing, and ignore all the comments about whether you "should" be helping your wife like this. It's a science project, not an exercise in personal morality. Framing body composition as a character issue is not healthy.

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