Fat for Life

I think you've come to the right place for support and motivation. I've never actually posted anything before, but I do read through different topics for encouragement.
1 thing I would like to advise you, is not to cut your calories so drastically. It will be really hard to maintain, you'll be hungry and get frustrated. I would begin by limiting your calories to 1500-1800. Once you feel like you have your eating under better control you could reduce a little more, but don't drop below 1200, unless this is something your doctor has advised you to do. I've never been able to eat less than 1500 calories without feeling like I"m starving. I'm also 5'2" and close to my goal weight now. Start with small goals. Make small changes at a time. Don't try to do it all at once, you'll get frustrated and give up. Also, I would put your scale away for the 1st month. Get yourself a tape measure and use measurements to track your success. I actually marked on my tape measurer with a shapie. Also, add some activity in to your day. Good Luck!

The first thing you need to realize is that you're already doing the right thing just by realizing that you have a problem and wanting to take control. It is the absolute WORST feeling in the world to wake up every morning and hate what you see in the mirror and feel completely out of control of your own body and your own life.

I love "good" food too ( its funny that you call bad-for-you food 'good' food...) and there will always be room to enjoy eating out, ice cream, bread, cheese, pizza, but that momentary pleasure you get from eating those foods will never compare to feeling HEALTHY and in control of your body and your life. Once you start tracking what you eat, you will realize that food legitimately is a tool that you have to use to fuel your body and your life. Food will become your most powerful form of medicine and hopefully exercise will become your most beloved de-stressor.

As a former "I hate my body, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I don't feel in control", I can honestly say that I am PROUD of you for realizing your problem, taking responsibility for it, and deciding to take control of it. Your attitude already puts you ahead of all the people who will die too young because of an unhealthy lifestyle.

Do it for cute clothes, do it to look sexier, do it to be able to experience new things, do it for your family, do it for yourself, but most importantly - do it so that you can be alive long enough to find health and happiness. You deserve that. And no slice of pizza, ice cream cone, or bag of chips is worth your life and your health and your happiness.

You can do this. Slow and steady. Just make the choices that you KNOW are right, track your food and exercise, hold yourself accountable, and it will happen on its own. Good luck!

I am a lot like you. I am a filmmaker and tend to not eat properly on shoot dates. I have been large my entire adult life. I was manageable when I got married but now, as I am getting divorced, I realize that I need to take my life back. Feel free to add me and we will help each other out!

Best of luck dear ...........

Wow, sad story. you're right to take this seriously. start with the keto calculator. http://keto-calculator.ankerl.com/
it's not about calories, its about carbohydrates. get started and set your goals according to what the calculator suggests. take the carbs down to under 50 grams. you won't meet the calorie goal you set, not reasonable. it's going to be some time before you can safely exercise carrying the amount of weight you mentioned so take the carbs down first, get under 180 pounds and then start walking a bit. good luck. keep in touch.
no bread,
no grain (wheat, rice, corn,)
no sugar
no booze
no fruit,
no potatoes.
good luck.

Though I haven't been fat all my life, I'm similar to you in some ways, high stress job yes (though I thrive on stress but a lot of travel makes it difficult to plan for food, and hotel and restaurant meals..........ouch), but I started getting breathless, unable to walk up stairs, avoiding walking any distance, and I too love food and food programmes.I'm here to tell you you can do something about it. I started nearly 7 months ago and have lost about 10 lbs a month on a 2 lb a week calculation of goals.You do not have to give up your love of food you can eat what you want within your calorie allowance, you just have to make better choices, for example I eat more fish and shellfish as it is lower calorie, I weigh any buttter I use in cooking and make sure there is enough for flavour but the minimum I can for calorie reasons. I have switched from beer and wine, high calories, to spirits (no mixers), low calories. I avoid things like white bread in any amount as it is high cal and not particularly nutritious. Changing your mindset is the way ahead.

OK, so what does this do for you? Well, I started feeling healthier when I'd lost around 20 lbs and just get better and better. I've started doing a lot of walking and in the last week started running up stairs on occasion! No breathless problems there. I was, I feel sure, suffering from sleep apnoea, waking up many times during the night, I now generally sleep right through, last night for example my Fitbit (a good thing to think about buying by the way to assess your activity, etc) shows I slept for 6h 23m, was restless for 8 minutes and didn't wake up at all. I'm also in bed for less time as the quality of sleep is better and 5.5 to 6.5 hours is average for me now. I'm also all round happier, I don't hate myself any more for being fat, and people comment I am much brighter in outlook and much more active.

So, this is what is ahead of you, get your mind into gear and go for it! Oh, and be careful what you read on this forum, there is so much bad science going the rounds it is incredible. Calories in less than calories out is the algorithm for weight loss, exercise helps but is not the be all and end all, I lost quite a bit before I started exercising. Good luck with your journey!

Start with the calories. Learn to live a healthy life, learn to eat to live. You can still enjoy food, but those treats need to be in moderation and not to de-stress. Think about other things that help you unwind. As another person said above, do not go below 1200 calories. Lower is not necessarily better. I would suggest you calculate your BMR and set that as your minimum. You will need to fuel your body. And sleep is important, too.

Do you think exercise could become a form of de-stressing?

Ease up on your calorie deficit. If you starve yourself, you'll crash and burn. You have to do what's sustainable long-term if you want to get it off and KEEP it off. Stress doesn't help - do you have time to fit a little yoga in? :flowerforyou:

Wow, sad story. you're right to take this seriously. start with the keto calculator. http://keto-calculator.ankerl.com/
it's not about calories, its about carbohydrates. get started and set your goals according to what the calculator suggests. take the carbs down to under 50 grams. you won't meet the calorie goal you set, not reasonable. it's going to be some time before you can safely exercise carrying the amount of weight you mentioned so take the carbs down first, get under 180 pounds and then start walking a bit. good luck. keep in touch.
no bread,
no grain (wheat, rice, corn,)
no sugar
no booze
no fruit,
no potatoes.
good luck.

Whaaat!? She can exercise - hell I was walking as exercise when I was heavily pregnant & 233lbs. Didn't kill me.

no bread,
no grain (wheat, rice, corn,)
no sugar
no booze
no fruit,
no potatoes.
good luck.

Lolz! No, thank you!

You'll find your way, don't worry.

Wow, this manner of "eating" would certainly set you up for failure (READ: Major binge!). People seem to confuse the fact that we need carbs for energy (Good carbs = Complex carbs; Bad carbs = Simple carbs (all the processed, junk food, and sugar that many of us crave). I can sincerely empathize with you because I am in a very stressful situation right now and tend to eat to soothe (putting myself in a food coma doesn't make me feel any better, nor does the added pounds I've put on these past three months) myself. I know food will always be an issue for me. I have to learn to forgive myself and move on because if not, I'm no good to anyone. Good luck in this journey of yours. Baby steps .......... put on those walking shoes and do what you can do. Remember, each day will bring renewed energy.

First of all, welcome to MFP.

You've taken a great first step, and there's absolutely no need for you to be "fat for life". I know how that can become so ingrained in your identity. Your first paragraph could very well apply to me, although I started gaining a little earlier. Until a couple of years ago, I had been obese my entire adult life, and I have believed myself to be fat since early childhood (like you, I wasn't really at first), I never thought it would happen, but I turned it around. MFP has been a massive part of that.

I would agree with others who have said not to go too drastic. It's easy to do when you get into a panic about your weight, and want to get rid of it sooner than now, but in the long run it could work against you. 1000 is definitely going to be too low for you, and you would find that your energy levels would probably suffer a lot (I'm sure not great for your job!) Since you say you're not in a hurry to lose the weight really fast (which is a good attitude to have) why not set MFP up to lose 1 lb per week, and see how many calories that gives you? I don't know how active you are as an attorney, but if you're walking around a fair bit in your job, then maybe set your activity level to lightly active as opposed to sedentary. Once you start exercising, you can add that in, and eat back at least a portion of those calories.

One thing that can happen if you cut calories too drastically is that you can end up losing too much lean mass (including muscle) as you lose weight. While you are obese, you can "get away with" a larger calorie deficit for a while, but long term you would want to hold onto as much muscle as possible. More muscle means more calories burned at rest, and it also means that you would likely achieve the size/look you are wanting at a slightly higher weight.

I'm very much a food lover too. That's ok - calorie counting is perfect for foodies! I would try to separate out your healthy appreciation for food (whether it's a love of cooking, eating at great restaurants, sharing great food with friends etc) from any unhealthier patterns (whether it's binge eating, or emotional eating etc). I have found that with calorie counting, I appreciate what I'm eating so much more, and I only eat things that are worth it - either for nutritional value, or for taste. If you have certain trigger foods, consider keeping them out of the house for a while. Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend cutting the foods you like out of your normal diet. You can absolutely eat all the things you like and still get healthy. Cutting out all the foods you like is a fast road to binging and/or quitting If certain situations trigger you to overeat, try to find ways around that too. For example, if watching the food network is too hard in the beginning, maybe stop for a while until you have a better handle on things. I love to bake, and I had to stop doing that for a couple of months because I found it too hard to moderate my eating while baking. Once I was into the swing of things though, I started baking again.

Try to find other ways to de-stress. Food can still be a positive part of your life, but if it's the only way you have of de-stressing, then it's going to be a problem. I don't agree with people who say "food is fuel" and nothing else. For me, food provides fuel, nourishment, and also pleasure, and there's nothing wrong with that. I have had to stop it being a source of emotional comfort though. Finding other ways to deal with stress etc is actually very empowering.

Lastly, be prepared for this to take a long time, and be prepared for it to be hard. This isn't something you can do for a while until you get the weigh off. If you intend to keep the weight off, you will need to work at it to some degree forever. With that in mind, only make such changes that you can live with permanently. Don't expect to always feel motivated either. There will likely be times when you can't be bothered any more. Motivation is very fickle. Determination, commitment and never giving up are what will get you through.

no bread,
no grain (wheat, rice, corn,)
no sugar
no booze
no fruit,
no potatoes.
good luck.

Lolz! No, thank you!

You'll find your way, don't worry.

Wow, this manner of "eating" would certainly set you up for failure (READ: Major binge!).

I agree with this. I haven't cut anything out except sodas.
You can eat anything in moderation.

Do you ever watch Drop Dead Diva? You might find it relaxing and funny, in a mindless sort of way.

Do you love your job THAT much? Also, I kind of have a feeling your employer is taking advantage of you. More than the average firm takes advantage of the average associate. You are a young, overweight, female. I don't know you, but I'm assuming from what I've experienced about human nature that you kind of have, "take advantage of me because I will never stand up for myself" written on your forehead.