Let's make parenting even harder....
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$80 cake? Oh no, no no. I have done a $300 kid party cake before. cha-ching.
BINGO!I think a lot of it has to do with competition between parents not so much kids expectations....I'm not sure a 2 year old knows the difference between a $10 walmart cake and a $80 trendy bakery cake....but you know, you have to make sure your facebook pictures look great!
It's ALL about the facebooks!0 -
Amen.
I know. Raised two in the 80's and am now raising another (8 year old). Amazing to watch the parents now. Most think I am crazy. But who gives a crap. My son is healthy, happy, and gets along with everyone.0 -
Ditto!People inflict it upon themselves. A family member was recently telling me about how she makes goody bags for her kid's entire classroom for every holiday. She was shocked that I don't do the same. Not worth the time, stress, money or worry about whose kid is allergic to which foods or which parent finds Spongebob offensive. I parent with common sense, and by instinct not by a book or what I "should be" doing according to the schoolyard Moms.0 -
$80 cake? Oh no, no no. I have done a $300 kid party cake before. cha-ching.
BINGO!I think a lot of it has to do with competition between parents not so much kids expectations....I'm not sure a 2 year old knows the difference between a $10 walmart cake and a $80 trendy bakery cake....but you know, you have to make sure your facebook pictures look great!
It's ALL about the facebooks!
I've never paid for a cake... I'm lucky in that I have cake making friends
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Totally crying at my desk!
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I could have written this rant myself. I have so many friends that complain how hard it is to be a mom and then they list off all these assnine activities that are completely uncessary. Here's how I do it:
1. Birthday parties = cake, ice cream, shenanigans with friends.
2. Elf on the Shelf? My kids have never heard of it. And I really find it creepy.
3. Organic--don't get me started. My step-kids mom buys them organic "pop-tarts". Are you kidding me? My step-son still runs around like monkey on crack whether the sugar is natural or comes from alien-DNA-implanted GMO corn mush.
4. Ok, we're guilty of the sports thing. We all just love our sports so much. :blushing:
5. Pinterest. *sigh* I have a love/hate thing with Pinterest. I find such great stuff, but sometimes I can't make it work like I saw on Pinterest. Then I feel like such a failure. Pinterest, you're a passive-agressive b****.
Organic junk food is still junk food. That is ridiculous.
Life can be as simple or complicated as we choose to make it. We can choose to raise our kids more simply and I think that it's VERY important that they have time in nature, both supervised and unsupervised. That's one thing most kids are missing these days and that bodes very badly for humans, other species, and our environment. We are a part of nature and we are dependent upon it for our life.
I have no idea what Pinterest is. I don't have a smart phone. I choose not to have cable television. I live in the Arctic. I go to work, my child goes to school. We hike in nature, ride atvs/snowmobiles, do crafts in the house... it's not boring, it's SIMPLE and we get lots of time together and there's ample time to make healthy home-cooked meals.0 -
Remember when our grandmothers used to be able to have Martinis and cigarettes to cure nausea while pregnant?
Que Bob Dylan: "For the times they are a-changin'"0 -
I have totally been in my backyard laughing at the over the top birthday parties my neighbors threw for their kids, leasing high end SUVs and Mercedes every other year, standing around talking about how much they paid for this and that LOL Yet they never seem HAPPY or CONTENT.
Their offspring are mostly ungrateful disrespectful little monsters unless they are at my home or talking to me. The parents always ask how do you DO that? Simple...I PARENT and let them KNOW I am an ADULT and they are still a CHILD !! ... 3 of these same neighbors have lost their home to foreclosure :-/ my kids learned a long time ago don't come home and tell us so and so got this or that
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BINGO!I think a lot of it has to do with competition between parents not so much kids expectations....I'm not sure a 2 year old knows the difference between a $10 walmart cake and a $80 trendy bakery cake....but you know, you have to make sure your facebook pictures look great!
I don't think you can get a cake at Walmart for $10 either, my kids are stuck w/ home made, and in my opion taste is a whole lot better.
Daughter turned 13 today-she wanted me to take her and 8 of her friends to a waterpark...I was like, "nope, we have a pool in the backyard, you can have a sleep over, swim, bonfire at night, I will make you a cake and make frozen pizzas" So tonight there will be 8 teenage girls probably keeping me awake, but saving me a crapton of money and they will probably have a great time!!0 -
Did someone say "orgasmic parties"!?!?!?
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she played the Tom Baker trump card, she winsDid someone say "orgasmic parties"!?!?!?0 -
True, true, true.
The sports thing? I haven't actually laid eyes on my now 13-year-old niece since she turned seven and started playing basketball. (Slight exaggeration, perhaps...but I have only seen her maybe five times in six years because she has, like, 12 games a week. Seriously, it's madness.)
My kids are four and two-and-a-half years old. None of that stuff applies to my parenting skills, because I simply refuse to give in to the "perfect parent" bullsh*t. I show them how much I love them by giving them lots of hugs and kisses and always being there when they need me. That other crap is just filler.0 -
We did an elf sort of thing way before there was "elf on the shelf". Ours was more of a blend between scavenger hunt & advent count down. We spent alot of time making up clues, but my kids loved it and my parents did it for me.
We did birthday parties with their friends for 5, 6, 7 & 8 yr b'days, others were family/close friends (except for the 13 yr old dance/makeup/craft spend the night hell party for my daughter) with a store bought cake since I don't bake. Or cook really.
We did the sports nightmare thing, only one activity/sport each, but with 5 kids, it was insane for a few years. Those years are still a blur to me and I absolutely loathe after-school activities because of that time. Luckily mine are all driving now.
Pintrest? If you like that sort or thing & are creative, why not? I personally suck at all things crafty & would rather slam my hand in a door than glue/staple/paint stuff or fiddle with food. Just not my thing, but DIY? Heck, yeah if I can use my air tools.
I do think my kids are a little "snowflake-ish" compared to my own childhood, but I grew up on a farm and raced moto-cross from a young age. They grew up in a subdivision with bicycles and a neighborhood. Just different lifestyles.0 -
Totally made me laugh, so sharing...
Is it me or has parenting become exponentially more difficult in the last 10 years? When I was a kid, I remember spending my days eating Spaghetti-Os, watching marathons of Muppet Babies, and playing outside for hours and hours with no adult in sight. You know what that's considered now? Neglect.
Maybe this is always true of the current generation, but we seem to have deemed ourselves parenting experts and consider everything our parents did to be wrong. In some ways, this is a good thing (e.g. Riding in the backs of pick-up trucks). In other ways it's just absolutely ridiculous. For example:
1. Birthday Parties
What in the hell has happened here? I remember going to birthday parties as a kid. We simply played for a bit, sang "Happy Birthday", ate some friggin' cake, and watched our buddy open up some presents. Why on Earth have these things morphed into themed parties that take hours of planning, hundreds of dollars and are only appreciated by the people who aren't being celebrated? It's crazy! For HJ's first birthday, I fell victim to this whole fiasco. We had a Milk & Cookies theme and I stressed myself completely out as I accounted for food allergies, activities for older kids, balloons during a helium shortage, and the perfect shade of pink in every corner. I was still so stressed out by the experience that HJ had a grandparents only party the next year.
2. Elf on the Shelf
Simply singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" used to be enough to put kids in check. Now they have a snitch. Not just any snitch, but one in which Mom and Dad have to place in humorous and cutesy positions every night to entertain the kids and remind them to be good. Because completing Christmas shopping, baking for holiday parties, seeing family, going to light shows, and wrapping presents isn't enough to keep us busy during that month. We need to add a stupid elf to the list. (Full disclosure: HJ and B's elf is currently in my closet, ready to make her debut this Christmas.)
3. Organic EVERYTHING
Yes, organic is the best way to feed a family. Avoiding pesticides, GMOs, additives, and other preservatives is preferable, obviously. I get it. That being said, I still need to be able to afford to actually feed my family. Have you noticed how organic food is nearly double the price? AND everything can be organic these days. There's organic t-shirts, organic cleaners, and organic candy. There's even organic diaper bags. Seriously? We really need the bag that carries my kid's poopy diapers to be organic? Are we eating it later?
4. Kid's Sports
I played sports as a kid. I was in dance, gymnastics, tee ball, softball and volleyball. The difference between kids' sports back then and now is the fact that our sports didn't eat up every free friggin' moment of every day. Thankfully my kids aren't old enough for this yet, but I have seen it from family and friends. As soon as their kid starts a sporting activity, I NEVER see them again because it never seems to end. They are always at practice, a game, or a tournament. As soon as the summer league is over, then the fall league starts. Fall's over? Oh, great! The spring league is here! I don't blame parents. I blame the coaches and league organizers. Do these people even have kids?
5. Pinterest
As much as I love it, I have to admit: Pinterest is an a-hole. It further perpetuates the notion that parents must do everything perfectly and be the best at everything. Just the other day I saw a pin that taught parents how to apply tattoos to bananas for school lunches. Are you kidding me?! It's not enough to make lunch for your children, but now we have to decorate it? Ridiculous. Also, because of Pinterest, I am guilted into thinking I should have a water table, a colored rice sensory table, make my own finger paints, sew pillowcase dresses, put lunches artfully into cute little bento boxes, and that I should be setting up monthly photo shoots with my wiggly kids. No. No. And no. It's difficult enough to keep them alive, fed, clothed, bathed, and away from my secret candy stash.
Can we collectively agree to take it all down a notch?
Source: http://wellcommons.com/weblogs/larryvillemom/2013/aug/21/5-ways-were-making-parenting-harder/
Amen. We're on the same page here.
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I am a victim to most of this.
My bday parties rock. One year we had ponies. This year we had the 501 Legion.
We have twelve different Elf on the Shelf dudes. They are from a craft store and far cuter than that anorexic weirdo. The elves are rotated between mom's house, dad's house, and grandma's house, so you never know which one will be where. There is no story to accompany our elves... only that they watch you.
I puffy heart pinterest. PUFFY HEART! I make all the crafts. It's a problem.
He is in swimming, karate, and baseball. Thankfully only karate for the rest of the year.
Organic, however, is not a common theme in our household.0 -
I have totally been in my backyard laughing at the over the top birthday parties my neighbors threw for their kids, leasing high end SUVs and Mercedes every other year, standing around talking about how much they paid for this and that LOL Yet they never seem HAPPY or CONTENT.
Their offspring are mostly ungrateful disrespectful little monsters unless they are at my home or talking to me. The parents always ask how do you DO that? Simple...I PARENT and let them KNOW I am an ADULT and they are still a CHILD !! ... 3 of these same neighbors have lost their home to foreclosure :-/ my kids learned a long time ago don't come home and tell us so and so got this or that
Agree. We never asked our parents for those fleeting fad toys. We knew better. Furby, tamagotchi, tickle me elmo, etc...we could...
a)but it with our own money that we saved from a birthday or did work for a neighbor (we did not get money from doing work around the house. We lived there for free and were expected to do work to help maintain our free living space)
b) We could wait and ask for it as a Christmas or birthday gift and we may get it if our behavior was appropriate and the price was reasonable (we didn't get toys just because...it had to be an occasion)
I think it was great because we really learned the value of money and we learned not to be spoiled or to feel entitled to things. I saved my money and bought a house with it when I turned 23 right before I got married. I hope to raise my kids the same way.0 -
I have totally been in my backyard laughing at the over the top birthday parties my neighbors threw for their kids, leasing high end SUVs and Mercedes every other year, standing around talking about how much they paid for this and that LOL Yet they never seem HAPPY or CONTENT.
Their offspring are mostly ungrateful disrespectful little monsters unless they are at my home or talking to me. The parents always ask how do you DO that? Simple...I PARENT and let them KNOW I am an ADULT and they are still a CHILD !! ... 3 of these same neighbors have lost their home to foreclosure :-/ my kids learned a long time ago don't come home and tell us so and so got this or that
Agree. We never asked our parents for those fleeting fad toys. We knew better. Furby, tamagotchi, tickle me elmo, etc...we could...
a)but it with our own money that we saved from a birthday or did work for a neighbor (we did not get money from doing work around the house. We lived there for free and were expected to do work to help maintain our free living space)
b) We could wait and ask for it as a Christmas or birthday gift and we may get it if our behavior was appropriate and the price was reasonable (we didn't get toys just because...it had to be an occasion)
I think it was great because we really learned the value of money and we learned not to be spoiled or to feel entitled to things. I saved my money and bought a house with it when I turned 23 right before I got married. I hope to raise my kids the same way.
I am certain your parents are proud of you and you will be equally proud of your children someday 0 -
Can we collectively agree to take it all down a notch?
Nope. I believe that keeping kids active, especially in sports and good social activities, gives them better life skills and less chances to find trouble being idle. My family is VERY dynamic and outgoing.
Crazy at times, but we take the summer off from most stuff.0 -
Elf on the Shelf is CREEPY LOL0
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Well I give you my overview:
1. Birthday Parties - in most cases this is the parents competing. The best parties my daughter had (she is 19 now) were sleep overs and movie parties where they just came over and watched movies. When she was little we Bowling parties, cheap and easy. We even did McDonald's with a play place one year that cost a total of $100.
However, wait till you get to Sweet 16's, OMG.
2. Elf on the Shelf - I am Jewish, so we didn't do this one. However, Daddy is Catholic. So guess what we had Hannukah and Christmas for my daughter. The only thing I never did was give her everything on her list. I told her Santa can't give everything to you, what about the other boys and girls they have to get stuff too.
3. Organic EVERYTHING - My 19yo just went Vegan. OMG Organic is nothing compared to the hell of Vegan (btw she is a Lesbian too, talk about stereotyping, LOL)
4. Kid's Sports - I am a working mom and I was a bit selfish. daughter tried basketball, softball, but we stuck with Dance. It has a set schedule when she had to be at class, didn't change because of weather, etc. I could plan it. I think we overstress the kids by putting them in too much as well. Kids need to time to be kids and have fun. I actually wanted my kid to just play with her friends sometimes and do it without parental intervention.
Can't comment on 5 it didn't exist.
BTW - I bought cupcakes for my daughter's parties most times, we bought the cake, I paid to have a party somewhere that I just had to show up, etc. However, I took the time to play games with my daughter, we went swimming and on vacation and to waterparks and Great Adventure and museums. Reality that is the stuff I remember from my childhood, when mom took us to the beach, swimming with dad at the lake in PA, going to Disney. and my mom worked full time and I lived.0 -
I could have written this rant myself. I have so many friends that complain how hard it is to be a mom and then they list off all these assnine activities that are completely uncessary. Here's how I do it:
1. Birthday parties = cake, ice cream, shenanigans with friends.
2. Elf on the Shelf? My kids have never heard of it. And I really find it creepy.
3. Organic--don't get me started. My step-kids mom buys them organic "pop-tarts". Are you kidding me? My step-son still runs around like monkey on crack whether the sugar is natural or comes from alien-DNA-implanted GMO corn mush.
4. Ok, we're guilty of the sports thing. We all just love our sports so much. :blushing:
5. Pinterest. *sigh* I have a love/hate thing with Pinterest. I find such great stuff, but sometimes I can't make it work like I saw on Pinterest. Then I feel like such a failure. Pinterest, you're a passive-agressive b****.
Have you visited here? http://www.pinterestfail.com/
Hadn't heard of it until now. I'm so happy you put this up.0 -
Wen I was a baby I slept on my stomach and probably went to formula way too early. Growing up I didn't wear a seat belt or wear a bicycle helmet. We played in the streets and came home when the street lights came on.
And I'm still alive. Imagine that!
My daughter slept on her stomach, it was the only way she would sleep and I was like screw it we all need to sleep.
As for no helmet and playing in the street, we went on metal or wooden swings that were in cement play grounds and jumped like 10 feet off while swinging. Now 1/2 the playgrounds don't even have swings because they are dangerous.0 -
I LOVE this topic! I'll be having our first baby in late Nov/early Dec and people are already driving me nuts with all the "expectations" on us. It's making me pull back. We're skipping the big, elaborate baby shower (where we could have tons of plastic crap bestowed up on us)....not learning the gender....really trying to keep it simple! We purposely live in an older neighborhood where everyone still plays outside "until the street lights come on", kids walk to the bus stop by themselves, and go to public schools. I'm sure we'll have our moments of over-indulgence, but I really want our kids to have a safe, simple childhood filled with camping, swimming, fishing, etc... as opposed to annual Disney cruises and monthly trips to Lego Land!0
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All I needed growing up was a Stigray bike with bannana seat, fishing pole, BB Gun and somewhere to be. If a kid road down the road with all those things on his bike now he would be arrested or worse. I dont think parenting has changed society has. Kids see stuff on TV and in their friends homes that makes them want more and more.
My folks didnt have to tell me to be good for Santa Clause, it was expected, or else.
Birthday party? Sure we had them but again usually included a fishing pole and firearm. Type depending on age.
Times where definetly different many years ago, if I through a fit, I did it alone.
If I didnt like what was for dinner, I went hungry.
Alowance wasnt really an allowance it was a paycheck because you didnt get much with out earning it.0 -
In for making it even harder.
We don't do holidays for religious reasons (him, not me). But I'm guilty of everything else, and much more. We have school and piano practice before school. Karate after school 4 days a week. I give my kids projects and homework on top of whatever busywork the teacher sends.
And this summer has been exhausting with all the robot camp and engineering camp and workbooks and piano and karate.
My children are 5 and 6. I'm so, so tired.
I have to stand by Pinterest, though. It helps me not have to think so much when I need to pull something cute out of my butt in a flash.0 -
Agree. We never asked our parents for those fleeting fad toys. We knew better. Furby, tamagotchi, tickle me elmo, etc...we could...
a)but it with our own money that we saved from a birthday or did work for a neighbor (we did not get money from doing work around the house. We lived there for free and were expected to do work to help maintain our free living space)
b) We could wait and ask for it as a Christmas or birthday gift and we may get it if our behavior was appropriate and the price was reasonable (we didn't get toys just because...it had to be an occasion)
I think it was great because we really learned the value of money and we learned not to be spoiled or to feel entitled to things. I saved my money and bought a house with it when I turned 23 right before I got married. I hope to raise my kids the same way.
I seriously need to learn a lesson from this....0 -
People inflict it upon themselves. A family member was recently telling me about how she makes goody bags for her kid's entire classroom for every holiday. She was shocked that I don't do the same. Not worth the time, stress, money or worry about whose kid is allergic to which foods or which parent finds Spongebob offensive. I parent with common sense, and by instinct not by a book or what I "should be" doing according to the schoolyard Moms.
Exactly.
When DS started kindergarten, and DD was about 2, I just didn't have time to bring/buy/make the stuff other moms did...I was juggling full-time work and full-time school, and still coming home to be a full-time mom! I usually put $10 in an envelope and sent it to the teacher with a note, "Happy X...here is $10 to get what you need/want for the kids!" It reduced the amount coming out of her pocket and kept me a bit saner.
To be honest, though, I love Pinterest, and I use a lot of those ideas...!0 -
People inflict it upon themselves. A family member was recently telling me about how she makes goody bags for her kid's entire classroom for every holiday. She was shocked that I don't do the same. Not worth the time, stress, money or worry about whose kid is allergic to which foods or which parent finds Spongebob offensive. I parent with common sense, and by instinct not by a book or what I "should be" doing according to the schoolyard Moms.
Exactly.
When DS started kindergarten, and DD was about 2, I just didn't have time to bring/buy/make the stuff other moms did...I was juggling full-time work and full-time school, and still coming home to be a full-time mom! I usually put $10 in an envelope and sent it to the teacher with a note, "Happy X...here is $10 to get what you need/want for the kids!" It reduced the amount coming out of her pocket and kept me a bit saner.
To be honest, though, I love Pinterest, and I use a lot of those ideas...!
You totally look like you're trying out for Hell's Kitchen. Rockon.0 -
LOL! Thanks...!0
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I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Why don't I ever get invited to orgasmic parties?
Thanks for the pinterestfail website suggestion!
Also thanks everyone for changing my mind about the elf! I was thinking of getting one, but am thinking not now.
I let my boys pick one after school activity. We might do a big party- I let them decide the level of craziness they want. Slumber parties are generally their choice. They do ride in the back of the truck, but just on the farm. Growing up my best friend and I actually had an old truck seat in the back of her dad's pickup and when we were not sitting it we were standing on it leaning over the top of the cab letting the wind blow through our hair! How things have changed!0
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