Come on, just one bite!

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Joebob8
Joebob8 Posts: 69 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
When it comes to making choices aboutmy diet, I find myself constantly faced with pressure from friends/acquaintances/colleagues. "just eat this just this once, it won't kill you!"..."come on, you HAVE to have dessert with me!"..."How can you not want a cupcake and champagne [afternoon office party]? It's so and so's birthday!" ... "you're only going to order a salad?! But its tuesday/brunch/simhas torah/cinco de mayo" and so on and so forth.

This used to terrify me. The thought of going out with friends on a day I had set aside to be regimented scared me to death. Years have gone by and although the comments continue I find myself mostly immune. If I'm going to treat myself, cool, but I'll do that on my time, when I want (and what I want). If my friends want to hang out on a weeknight, they know my rule: I will only go to a restaurant with healthy options. Plus I find that this sort of interrogation is usually followed up ten minutes later with. "yeah, I should really focus on losing a few....so what do you do, exactly? What do you recommend?"

Nevertheless, it is still annoying. I'm sure so many of you have encountered the same situation countless times on your journey. I wanted to post to say (a) I feel your pain! Be strong! And (b) to ask how the rest of you handle these uncomfortable moments.
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Replies

  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    I've become a recluse. I have a no eating rule at work (I work in a restaurant, it's a slippery slope to start eating there).

    When I do hang out with friends, its for fitness dates, like going for hikes or bike rides etc. I'm going to the farmer's market with a health and fitness minded friend tomorrow.

    At family events, I'm constantly announcing how many miles someone will have to walk to burn off the calories of that burger or that piece of cake. Most people don't get calories, but they can understand how much exercise they will need to engage in, and how long it takes them personally to a walk a mile. For instance, it would take a 200 pound man about 6 miles (walking) to burn off the calories from a bacon cheeseburger.

    People who are unfamiliar with calorie content and what it means are usually shocked at this information and think I'm lying about the numbers, but I just challenge them to look up the information on their smart phones. I can usually get someone to corroborate the info, and my calorie count guesses are pretty darn close most of the time.
  • jovalleau
    jovalleau Posts: 127 Member
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    I hate when people keep harping on this type of thing!

    "One cookie won't kill you! It's just one cookie!" or any variation thereof.

    No shxt, one cookie won't kill me, bu that's not the point.

    For what it's worth, I haven't had any cookies, cakes, ice cream, candy bars, etc, etc for going on three years now (I do get chocolaty goodness from protein shakes, though, but those are utility meals). Could you imagine egging a recovering alcoholic on and on about having JUST ONE drink?
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
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    Could you imagine egging a recovering alcoholic on and on about having JUST ONE drink?


    ^^ Love this! I never thought of it like that. We can all just say we are recovering foodaholics. :)
  • mspoopoo
    mspoopoo Posts: 500 Member
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    Tell me you are allergic. It shuts them up.
  • amandatapar
    amandatapar Posts: 246 Member
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    It stops after a while, or at least it pretty much does. At work no one really asks me anymore if I want any desert or snack they have brought in. I bring my lunch and I don't veer from the plan. I'm one of those people that can't take one bite and be happy. I do better by not eating it at all. I've lost almost 53 pounds and would like to keep it off.
  • ginag516
    ginag516 Posts: 44 Member
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    When it comes to making choices aboutmy diet, I find myself constantly faced with pressure from friends/acquaintances/colleagues. "just eat this just this once, it won't kill you!"..."come on, you HAVE to have dessert with me!"..."How can you not want a cupcake and champagne [afternoon office party]? It's so and so's birthday!" ... "you're only going to order a salad?! But its tuesday/brunch/simhas torah/cinco de mayo" and so on and so forth.

    This used to terrify me. The thought of going out with friends on a day I had set aside to be regimented scared me to death. Years have gone by and although the comments continue I find myself mostly immune. If I'm going to treat myself, cool, but I'll do that on my time, when I want (and what I want). If my friends want to hang out on a weeknight, they know my rule: I will only go to a restaurant with healthy options. Plus I find that this sort of interrogation is usually followed up ten minutes later with. "yeah, I should really focus on losing a few....so what do you do, exactly? What do you recommend?"

    Nevertheless, it is still annoying. I'm sure so many of you have encountered the same situation countless times on your journey. I wanted to post to say (a) I feel your pain! Be strong! And (b) to ask how the rest of you handle these uncomfortable moments.

    Are you sure we dont work in the same department? lol You nailed it !! I stop getting invited to eat out after work because apperently I am boring lol on potluck days at work I make them whatever they want but, i never eat the food they make and they get so upset so I stop making them anything at all so the Holidays are close and they keep on asking me are you done doing your diet? UGH!!! I tell them I can eat whatever I want I just choose not to go over board and i preffer to cook it myself is a never ending argument with them
  • qwerty1895
    qwerty1895 Posts: 45
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    I don't understand your problems. I eat whatever I want, including junkfood and I still lost 40 pounds. You know that you don't have to eat "healthy" all the time to be healthy?
    Maybe you're developing a disorder - orthorexia?
  • watfordjc
    watfordjc Posts: 304 Member
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    "No thanks."
    "Na, having something later and can't afford the calories."
    "Sure, let's go for a 2 mile walk first."
    "Cookies! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

    I generally aim to burn 4,000+ calories on days I expect to eat a lot. As there are days where I burn 5,000+ calories, and those are usually when I'm around others part of the day, they will never stop asking if I want something because they have no idea if I do or not. Boxing Day (family, Christmas dinner) I burned 4,300+ calories and don't think I said no to anything other than seconds (although to be honest, my stomach said no). This year I'll probably say I will later. Alcohol? I have to ask for that - everyone assumes the answer will be "no" if asked because I very rarely say yes.
  • tjthegreatone
    tjthegreatone Posts: 324
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    I don't understand this people being pressured to eat thing. Is it an American thing?

    I live in the UK. If people offer me something I want I just say 'no thanks'. That's it. Moving on.
    If friends/family try to get me to eat something I don't want to I say 'no thank you I don't want that' or 'I'm full and don't want anymore' or 'maybe later'. Usually by the time I say that the third time (I rarely have to) the message gets through. I feel under no obligation to justify my eating choices to anyone.

    At work there are always loads of cakes, cookies, chocolate tins lying around, and if I choose to overindulge myself that's my fault and no body else's. I deal with the consequences. Whining about sabotage, food pushers etc - je ne comprends pas.

    As for the person who likes telling people how much exercise they need to burn off a cheeseburger :noway: Let's just say I hope we never meet in real life whilst I'm in the process of stuffing my face. Few things get on my wick more than the assumption that food has to be earned or that exercise is punishment for eating too much. People need to eat simply to fulfill certain base metabolic requirements in the first place. If I decide to eat something that you deem 'unhealthy' please don't come and rain on my parade by telling me exactly how much exercise you feel I need to do to 'deserve' a meal.
  • Livingdeadgirl44
    Livingdeadgirl44 Posts: 264 Member
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    I don't understand this people being pressured to eat thing. Is it an American thing?

    I live in the UK too and agree with you it doesn't seem to be as big a problem however my family is Asian and they constantly try and get you to eat while also telling you your putting on weight!
  • notworthstalking
    notworthstalking Posts: 531 Member
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    I would never harp on another persons eating. I would consider it rude if someone told me how many calories was in the meat pie I was eating ( as example). I only turn down food I don't like. A lady made a fruit salad , and put a heap o cream and condensed milk on it. I didn't get picked on for saying no thanks. If they had asks I would have told them I don't like that type of dessert. They know I don't take some of the free muffins work give us, because the preservatives don't agree with one of my daughters. They do know I will always say yes to cake. Again if people were to ask me about the food I eat I would answer , but I refuse to lecture people. I have talked to people about my weightless , but most don't ask, and a few don't know. They do know that I do eat , and I don't believe in starving myself. Next week were are working third shift. I am planning on bring something cake or slice like to share. Will it be super healthy? Probably not. I am thinking of making it small portions so people who want some find it easier to have a little bit. Will I beg people to eat some? No.
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
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    You know that you don't have to eat "healthy" all the time to be healthy?
    Maybe you're developing a disorder - orthorexia?

    Glad you pointed this out. People do not need to live in fear of foods or avoid/ have anxiety about social situations in which "unhealthy foods" are readily available. I had some difficulty a couple years ago with this and I certainly can relate. I'm very thankful I have overcome it, but it took time and a conscious effort.

    Sadly, its quite common here and unless people learn to deal with it they may be domed to failure.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    join in..take a couple cookies and say.. "yum" ... I'm taking these to my desk..thanks! Then throw them away when no one is looking. ok? You're begging for attention by refusing to partake in the office potluck and talking about how you're on a diet. It is human nature that when people know someone is on a diet.. to try and derail them.
  • RubyRunner14
    RubyRunner14 Posts: 148 Member
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    I've seen that term before, and it is definitely real... however, many of us said that we will treat ourselves with what and when we want. I am like some where if you let me have a cookie, I'm bound to go all out and eat four or five cookies. If I want to eat a treat, I'm gonna do it right. I usually only do it once a month (under my control or not), much less than most people I know.

    I generaly avoid unhealthy stuff because stuff with high sugar, or food like Pizza and Chinese, Indian, Mexican, makes me stomach do flips and give me awful headaches and nausea. It's a side effect of eating healthy and knowing how my body reacts to certain foods. That's how I found out my painful egg/dairy intolerance.

    But people still ask me when I'm gonna go off my "diet" and eat some cookies. And I've been teased by my family. :(
  • bob_day
    bob_day Posts: 87
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    Usually I say something like, "Sorry, too many calories for
    me. I watch my calories like a hawk."
  • Penfoldsplace
    Penfoldsplace Posts: 159
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    When I used to work in an office I had a similar thing going on as people would bring biscuits/cakes/snacks on their birthdays and because it was a huge office it was practically someone birthday everyday (well it felt like it!). Some people would make me feel guilty for not taking something and make me feel like I was being rude. It's kind of unfair. Most of the time I would be happy to take something and fit it into my calories but sometimes I would have something yummy planned for dinner that was higher calorie or I just didn't feel like eating a cake it could be a pain.
  • dentedcan
    dentedcan Posts: 29
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    I actually enjoy when friends/coworkers offer something I don't want to eat/drink, and I politely decline. Usually it's coworkers grabbing ice cream, or bringing pastries to meetings. The small affirmations that I'm CHOOSING to push toward my goals gives me a good psychological boost. That said, my coworkers are really considerate and have been very supportive these past three months.

    Everything in moderation!
  • AJinBirmingham
    AJinBirmingham Posts: 497
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    MY FAT AUNTIE: I can't believe you're not going to enjoy a single desert with your family!

    ME: You go ahead. I'm enjoying being a size 4.

    (DISCLAIMER: I tried being nice several times before this reply. "Be nice. Always be nice . . . until it's time to not be nice.")
  • Joebob8
    Joebob8 Posts: 69 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses! Maybe this is an American thing but I've seen it be an Italian/Russian/polish/Jewish/Persian thing too. I think Brits are perhaps just more polite! Go Brits !

    As for the orthorexia, maybe this holds true for some people out there but I would caution that this is not a term to throw around lightly because someone is watching his/her weight or health.

    Last night I ate oysters, drank wine, had a hamburger, tried some chocolate pot de creme and apple strudel....believe me, I know how to ave a good time! On my own time. However, I think that the pressure many of us feel from the outside world can be overwhelming, whether it's to "just try one bite" OR if it's "are you really going to eat that second slice?"...all the way to the careless ways in which society throws around terms like orthorexic, anorexic, bulemic, fat, health freak, exercise freak, pig, skinny b
    , the list continues. There are many people in the outside world who are supportive and non judgmental, but this is the support thread for those of us who have to face those people who aren't while we are trying our hardest to be clearheaded and focused.
  • A_Healthier_Me2013
    A_Healthier_Me2013 Posts: 227 Member
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    I hate when people keep harping on this type of thing!

    "One cookie won't kill you! It's just one cookie!" or any variation thereof.

    No shxt, one cookie won't kill me, bu that's not the point.

    For what it's worth, I haven't had any cookies, cakes, ice cream, candy bars, etc, etc for going on three years now (I do get chocolaty goodness from protein shakes, though, but those are utility meals). Could you imagine egging a recovering alcoholic on and on about having JUST ONE drink?

    wow, 3 years without all those treats ?!? kudos to you !!!

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