just joined & feeling down in the dumps

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Hey...I've just this minute joined this group in the hope I can get some much needed support &/or motivation. You see I made a startling discovery today. While walking through my local shopping centre, I spotted a lady who was on the large side. I mentally noted that in my head, I remembered thinking to myself, she's a bit on the large side, but then I saw my reflection in a window & I was bigger. After having 3 children, my body is no longer what it used to be but I keep kidding myself that I'm not that bad. Until today,. I now realise I AM that bad. I'm so depressed about today's realisation, that I spent the afternoon in bed wondering why I can't metabolize the way I used to.. I'm just so down at the moment... Can anyone recommend some positive thinking at this particular time, as oh my, I so need some help :(

Replies

  • BikerGirlElaine
    BikerGirlElaine Posts: 1,631 Member
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    Hi there! This is a really great site. All of the tools that you need to succeed are here. There are some fabulous people whose success will be inspirational for you. There's also a lot of misinformation and people who are very convinced that their misinformation is correct.

    This is an excellent, commonsense post by someone whom I really respect. I've found his advice to be spot on, and I'm having great success and feeling terrific following it. It doesn't have to be hard or overwhelming or drastic. Make some small, commonsense changes and you will be losing fat & feeling better about your body in no time.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • JennetteMac
    JennetteMac Posts: 763 Member
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    Hi, you are so not alone, as you will discover having joined this site.

    You have made the first step, and once you get yourself thinking, the changes can be taken at your own pace.
    Do what works for you, maybe by making healthy choices, smaller portions and walking more.
    Once the weight starts falling the motivation increases, along with the energy levels.
    And once people start making positive comments you will feel even better.

    Good luck, and keep at it! :flowerforyou:
  • Yanagibashi
    Yanagibashi Posts: 58 Member
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    Oh, the "oh my god, I'm fat" moment. That was one of my worst moments (and I bet a lot of people on here will say the same thing). Well, you've gotten over the hardest part, admitting that you need to do something about it. Congrats on that milestone. So, here's all the important stuff I've learned so far. Take it with a grain of salt I suppose. What works for me may not necessarily work for you.

    1. Be honest about what you eat
    Now you're going to need to develop the habits of meticulously recording everything you eat during the day and trying to sneak in exercise where ever you can. Those aren't easy either. I have a moment or two where I'm not proud of something I ate and am reluctant to write it down. Do it anyway. It will help you identify trends in your eating. After I stopped being sneaky and started writing everything down, I noticed that I was skipping lunch completely and was then starving when I got home and then I ate junk that I didn't really need. That kind of behavior perfectly explains my afternoon grouchiness at work and my need to eat everything I can get my hands on. So I started packing my lunch and nibbling at my desk. That actually led me to eat less than I was before. My brain and stomach were in cahoots when I was skipping lunch to make me eat everything when I got home. Usually, at least one of them kicks in and says I'm good after a reasonable (and reasonably sized) dinner and I don't need 2 servings of Ben & Jerry's to wash it all down.

    2. Make the time to be active, don't just find the time
    As for activity, it is all about making it fun. I have a fancy activity tracker and it is like a game for me to see if I can just do 5 or 10 more steps than yesterday. Plus it keeps me honest about how active I really am. You probably don't need some fancy electronic doodad to help keep track of what you do, but it is an extra way to be honest about your activity. I've actually had 2 now, my first was a Bodybugg from 24 hour Fitness. It worked great but I traded it in for something else because membership on their website was kind of pricey even after buying the expensive thing AND it was huge and can only be worn on your upper arm (I'm sensitive about mine, they're flabbier than they should be). Now I have a Fitbit One. That little thing is tiny and clips anywhere you care to clip it. It does all the same things as the Bodybugg did but it's not nearly as obvious.

    3. Celebrate your Victories. Even the non-scale ones.
    And the last important thing I think I'm qualified to tell you is to find a victory in your weight loss journey every day. Some days it will be "I just got off the scale and I lost 2 pounds this week! Yay me!" And then there will be those times where the scale is out to get you. It's not about your weight, it's about your improved health. Those days in between visits to the scale can be full of victories if you think about it. I walk the same route through my neighborhood as often as I can. Sometimes the win is "I did the same route as yesterday but today I was a minute faster" or "I was a bit slower than yesterday but I am a lot less out of breath than I was on previous walks AND my calves aren't cramping up" or even "I wasn't feeling it, but I did it anyway. And you know what? I had fun and I'm glad I made myself get out and walk anyway."

    Wow, so that was really long and rambling. While you're on MFP, I hope you get the support you need to stay on track. Feel free to add me if you want. I promise to never judge because I've made so many mistakes that led me to where I am now. Well, most of us on here have.

    Positive thoughts for now?

    1. You may be not where you wanted to be now, but this isn't where you will be forever.
    2. You can change this! It might not be easy, but it is within your control!
    3. Don't worry too much about the bad days. We've all had the.
    4. Those people with fabulous after pictures for their profile pictures were all in the same place you and I are now once.
  • Yanagibashi
    Yanagibashi Posts: 58 Member
    Options
    Oh, the "oh my god, I'm fat" moment. That was one of my worst moments (and I bet a lot of people on here will say the same thing). Well, you've gotten over the hardest part, admitting that you need to do something about it. Congrats on that milestone. So, here's all the important stuff I've learned so far. Take it with a grain of salt I suppose. What works for me may not necessarily work for you.

    1. Be honest about what you eat
    Now you're going to need to develop the habits of meticulously recording everything you eat during the day and trying to sneak in exercise where ever you can. Those aren't easy either. I have a moment or two where I'm not proud of something I ate and am reluctant to write it down. Do it anyway. It will help you identify trends in your eating. After I stopped being sneaky and started writing everything down, I noticed that I was skipping lunch completely and was then starving when I got home and then I ate junk that I didn't really need. That kind of behavior perfectly explains my afternoon grouchiness at work and my need to eat everything I can get my hands on. So I started packing my lunch and nibbling at my desk. That actually led me to eat less than I was before. My brain and stomach were in cahoots when I was skipping lunch to make me eat everything when I got home. Usually, at least one of them kicks in and says I'm good after a reasonable (and reasonably sized) dinner and I don't need 2 servings of Ben & Jerry's to wash it all down.

    2. Make the time to be active, don't just find the time
    As for activity, it is all about making it fun. I have a fancy activity tracker and it is like a game for me to see if I can just do 5 or 10 more steps than yesterday. Plus it keeps me honest about how active I really am. You probably don't need some fancy electronic doodad to help keep track of what you do, but it is an extra way to be honest about your activity. I've actually had 2 now, my first was a Bodybugg from 24 hour Fitness. It worked great but I traded it in for something else because membership on their website was kind of pricey even after buying the expensive thing AND it was huge and can only be worn on your upper arm (I'm sensitive about mine, they're flabbier than they should be). Now I have a Fitbit One. That little thing is tiny and clips anywhere you care to clip it. It does all the same things as the Bodybugg did but it's not nearly as obvious.

    3. Celebrate your Victories. Even the non-scale ones.
    And the last important thing I think I'm qualified to tell you is to find a victory in your weight loss journey every day. Some days it will be "I just got off the scale and I lost 2 pounds this week! Yay me!" And then there will be those times where the scale is out to get you. It's not about your weight, it's about your improved health. Those days in between visits to the scale can be full of victories if you think about it. I walk the same route through my neighborhood as often as I can. Sometimes the win is "I did the same route as yesterday but today I was a minute faster" or "I was a bit slower than yesterday but I am a lot less out of breath than I was on previous walks AND my calves aren't cramping up" or even "I wasn't feeling it, but I did it anyway. And you know what? I had fun and I'm glad I made myself get out and walk anyway."

    Wow, so that was really long and rambling. While you're on MFP, I hope you get the support you need to stay on track. Feel free to add me if you want. I promise to never judge because I've made so many mistakes that led me to where I am now. Well, most of us on here have.

    Positive thoughts for now?

    1. You may be not where you wanted to be now, but this isn't where you will be forever.
    2. You can change this! It might not be easy, but it is within your control!
    3. Don't worry too much about the bad days. We've all had the.
    4. Those people with fabulous after pictures for their profile pictures were all in the same place you and I are now.
  • cstod74
    cstod74 Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    I or say we have all been where you are at. You made the first step which is to realize what is now and not kidding yourself. I have been on this site since April. I have lost 16-20 lbs..(I lost some before MFP). Its slow each week, but I came to love that its coming off and not coming on. You can add me for support. As one of the posts says in time more motivation will come. The key is to log everything. Even if it means you are going over you amount. Do it!!! It kind of helps keep you in tack on what you are doing and eating. If you have a cell phone load the app.

    Welcome to MFP and there is lots of help on this site. Good luck you can do this....We all sort of bounce of one another to keep going!
  • Mady1911
    Mady1911 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    Hey...I've just this minute joined this group in the hope I can get some much needed support &/or motivation. You see I made a startling discovery today. While walking through my local shopping centre, I spotted a lady who was on the large side. I mentally noted that in my head, I remembered thinking to myself, she's a bit on the large side, but then I saw my reflection in a window & I was bigger. After having 3 children, my body is no longer what it used to be but I keep kidding myself that I'm not that bad. Until today,. I now realise I AM that bad. I'm so depressed about today's realisation, that I spent the afternoon in bed wondering why I can't metabolize the way I used to.. I'm just so down at the moment... Can anyone recommend some positive thinking at this particular time, as oh my, I so need some help :(

    Oh, dear! I'm sorry you are so down. But to motivate yourself you need to think: 'I never ever want to feel what I felt today seeing myself.' Download the app and start counting, consult yourself with your doctor and go for it. Take a picture of yourself today...and when u feel like giving up, look at it and remember how it felt.
    If that ain't reason enough to get u started...I don't know what is! Good luck and feel free to add!