mom passed away & struggling....need help, pls!

That sounds really harsh Losing someone you love is REALLY hard. I know how you feel. I recently lost my grandpa one month ago from cancer. My grandpa raised me my entire life since my parents didnt. He was a father to me. Its a terrible feeling! Stay strong Being in an abusive relationship sounds really hard Thats really too bad that he is doing that to you. Abusive never ends and is a vicious cycle. I have a cousin thats in the same situation as you!!! Its really sick and twisted what they come up with.

Ann, you've been through one huge storm after another and sound like you're still in the middle of one. Even posting this shows a great deal of strength and a great attitude. Making even small steps to regain control is a great start. You should be proud of yourself for deciding to become more healthy. If you are like I was in the middle of one of my storms, some days will be ok and others not so great. Feel free to FR me. Be gentle with yourself and just keep reaching out. You'll be great.

Sounds like you have went through a lot lately. The fact you are here and pushing through should show yourself and everyone your a strong person. I understand your going through hard times, and you'll hear it all the time but...Things will get better, and do get better.

"Be strong. things will get better. It might be stormy now but rain does not last forever."

If not for lifes hardships we wouldn't be the strong people we are now.

Ouch...you've been through a lot. As suggested, talking to a professional might be something to consider to help you sort though everything. Feel free to friend me and I hope you get the break in life that you deserve!

Ann, so terribly sorry for your loss and struggles. You will gain a supportive family here on MFP. Please add me as a friend and I'll walk beside you.

Hugs from Dallas...: )

So sorry for your loss. I agree with Renegade and also those who suggested counseling. In grief counseling you would be able to talk through all of your losses. All the best to you.

Sorry for your losses. I also agree with going for grief counseling. When I lost my husband 3-1/2 years ago I went to a bereavement group sponsored by a local hospital. I built a support group & that was a help too. I'm glad you are reaching out to us on mfp. Friend me. I want to part of your support group.

Everyone is offering sympathies, I offer mine as well. The road you've traveled, whether you wanted to or not, has been a rough one. I've survived divorce, alcoholism, and most recently the death of my father. I've come back and fought harder than ever for myself, my kids and especially my dad because I know he's watching me. I'd be happy to be a friend and help you through all of your trials and tribulations, because it's not over, as I'm sure you know. But it does get better. You taking the first step here is proof of that!!

Each person has to find their own internal motivation but I will share what has helped me during the harder times. I love music and find I can tune out the world with ear buds in and I walk, I find a new neighborhood where I'm not known and just go until I feel exhausted then take a nice shower and life seems easier. As for cooking set yourself up with a day of it each week, make sauces, pasta, rice, steam and chop veggies and sort them into individual meals for yourself. You're more likely to just grab a container and eat it than to cook especially on evenings or days with no kids. Use the crock pot too, coming home to the smell of a good meal can bring comfort.
Be the best YOU that you can be, give your kids a mom to look up too, someone that treats herself well and they'll help get you through it.

Hi Ann,

You have my deepest sympathy in the passing of your Mom.

It is not easy, but you are not alone.

One of the things I kind of do is "isolate" and I'm in the process of coming out of that place now. I've been trying different things to help support and motivate me to not only lose weight but to participate in my own life again and, oddly, one of the things that helps me are written reminders that I place around the house on little business sized cards. I make them myself and print them out on business card stock.

The one that touches my heart the most are the words "I am loved, and I am worthwhile" which reflect that God loves me and I am worthwhile because Jesus is my Savior -- He did what He did for me.

I don't know if you are a Christian (I obviously am) but I do know that remembering that you are loved and you only have to "do today" helps me. Today is the only day I can actually do anything. Worrying about the future (or the past) will not make you feel good, but by letting go of those things which you cannot change anyway you will feel the relief from the burden.

If you know the Serenity Prayer -- (you can do a search for it) and then put your faith in the One who can truly help you get through this day -- you will make it through.

Sometimes we simply have to encourage ourselves with what we know is the real truth. Count your blessings and remember them. You will have more of them!!

You are loved

You are worthwhile

Hugs,
Marcia

I'm sorry to hear of your losses & struggles. Many years ago I myself went through a short period w/many losses. I learned to not only believe in God, but to lean on him and realize that our hurts can somehow make up stronger. I will pray for you and your boys.

Get a restraining order out on your dead beat ex. Has he been paying child support? If not, report him. Do everything by the book but report everything. Don't let him get away with anything. You have to be an advocate for your children, and yourself. Best thing to do is have a record of his behavior so, when necessary, you can present it to a judge.

I know how it is losing a parent. Please know, that they are with you and supporting you. They've only left the physical world, spiritually they are still with you and love you. The pain that you are in is only a small reflection of the love you had for each other, and still have. Pray for guidance and strength and you will be answered.

Don't be afraid. Continue to take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Don't allow your husband to get in the way of your getting stronger. He will continue to try to manipulate you. Don't listen, don't take the bait. He wants you to, so you can't.

i believe in you ann!!!!

So sorry Ann! Just take it one day at a time dear. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time in your life.