My poor kitty :(

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  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
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    OP, I agree with every poster who is not being kind to you. A month of this kind of behavior and it didn't dawn on you to have him checked? Really? You should be reported for animal cruelty!!!
    To play devil's advocate, not having him checked doesn't necessarily mean animal cruelty - it could mean lack of knowledge. When I was 18 I adopted a cat from the shelter, and six months later took in a stray kitten. Almost immediately after bringing in the kitten, my older cat started to urinate outside her box. I had never had cats before, and didn't know that elimination outside the box was a common sign of UTI. I assumed it was a behavioral response to a new cat in the house. The behavior continued for two weeks, and I didn't realize anything was wrong with her until she threw up - and even then I didn't realize the two were connected until the vet told me.

    I am an animal lover through and through - I volunteer at a shelter, foster strays, and have three happy, healthy cats of my own. It's not cruelty to be misinformed - just a sad reality in a world where anyone can buy a pet with no information on how to care for them.

    The discipline methods used by the OP, however, ARE grounds for animal cruelty accusations. I sincerely hope this experience has taught her a valuable lesson in pet ownership. Violence does not teach the animal to stop a behavior - it simply teaches them to fear you.

    Let's see how many times I can write this in a day:

    "Please read the whole thread before you say anything :)"

    As I've already said, it was two weeks of occasionally (like every two days) peeing on stuff. I didn't physically rub his nose in it and there was essentially nothing in the glass.

    I think from now on, I'll just copy and paste this reply.
    I read through 1 1/2 pages, and got bored. It's a rare individual who is going to read through 4+ pages of similar responses just to see if there's been a new development.

    My comments stand regardless. I gave you the benefit of the doubt on waiting to take your cat to the vet - something many people did not. However, physical discipline (even one smack, even nose NEXT to the pee, even ONLY ONCE OMG!) is ineffective at best, and emotionally scarring at worst. I volunteer at a shelter - I see animals all the time who have been broken by violence, and even a slight tap on the nose can send them into a spiral of regression.

    I did not judge you, I simply stated that I hope you have learned from this experience and will strive to be a better pet owner in the future - as should we all.

    so question then, what are you supposed to do if a cat scratches on your couch?

    Pet him and say, "now sweetie, none of that" and give him treats?

    :laugh: I've been wondering the same thing when I read the responses saying that whacking/disciplining your animal is "cruelty and they're going to be terrified of you!" As I stated previously when I see my dog going to the bathroom on the floor you bet your butt I am going to yell at him, give him a whack and show him what he did.

    There is a huge difference between abusing an animal and discipline. My guess is all these people who scream abuse are the same ones who would march up to someone in the grocery store who's disciplining their child as well.
  • ElikaCousland
    ElikaCousland Posts: 62 Member
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    OP, I agree with every poster who is not being kind to you. A month of this kind of behavior and it didn't dawn on you to have him checked? Really? You should be reported for animal cruelty!!!
    To play devil's advocate, not having him checked doesn't necessarily mean animal cruelty - it could mean lack of knowledge. When I was 18 I adopted a cat from the shelter, and six months later took in a stray kitten. Almost immediately after bringing in the kitten, my older cat started to urinate outside her box. I had never had cats before, and didn't know that elimination outside the box was a common sign of UTI. I assumed it was a behavioral response to a new cat in the house. The behavior continued for two weeks, and I didn't realize anything was wrong with her until she threw up - and even then I didn't realize the two were connected until the vet told me.

    I am an animal lover through and through - I volunteer at a shelter, foster strays, and have three happy, healthy cats of my own. It's not cruelty to be misinformed - just a sad reality in a world where anyone can buy a pet with no information on how to care for them.

    The discipline methods used by the OP, however, ARE grounds for animal cruelty accusations. I sincerely hope this experience has taught her a valuable lesson in pet ownership. Violence does not teach the animal to stop a behavior - it simply teaches them to fear you.

    Let's see how many times I can write this in a day:

    "Please read the whole thread before you say anything :)"

    As I've already said, it was two weeks of occasionally (like every two days) peeing on stuff. I didn't physically rub his nose in it and there was essentially nothing in the glass.

    I think from now on, I'll just copy and paste this reply.
    I read through 1 1/2 pages, and got bored. It's a rare individual who is going to read through 4+ pages of similar responses just to see if there's been a new development.

    My comments stand regardless. I gave you the benefit of the doubt on waiting to take your cat to the vet - something many people did not. However, physical discipline (even one smack, even nose NEXT to the pee, even ONLY ONCE OMG!) is ineffective at best, and emotionally scarring at worst. I volunteer at a shelter - I see animals all the time who have been broken by violence, and even a slight tap on the nose can send them into a spiral of regression.

    I did not judge you, I simply stated that I hope you have learned from this experience and will strive to be a better pet owner in the future - as should we all.

    so question then, what are you supposed to do if a cat scratches on your couch?

    Pet him and say, "now sweetie, none of that" and give him treats?
    You provide adequate scratching areas, and encourage the cat to use them. Spray the scratching post with catnip spray to make it more enticing, then reward the cat with love and treats when he uses it to reinforce the habit. On the other side, you make the furniture unappealing through use of deterrent sprays or home remedies - I had great success by covering a chair leg with aluminum foil for a week. Much like training children, training animals requires patience.

    PS - sarcasm isn't the best way to garner sympathy on a message board, "sweetie". ;)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I've been wondering the same thing when I read the responses saying that whacking/disciplining your animal is "cruelty and they're going to be terrified of you!"

    We have never hit my dog or been cruel in any way. But she responds to EVERYTHING as though we're about to beat the crap out of her. She's terrified all the freaking time, except when she's protecting her territory from other animals.

    We took her with us on a two-day trip to my BFF's house a couple weeks ago. Her sister lives with her and her BF was visiting at the same time. My SO and I went to the beach and they met us later. The sister's BF asked me what was wrong with my dog because he tried to give her a treat and she ran and hid in her crate.

    I know that's totally off subject and not the point, but you reminded me and it's a funny story. She's a minpin and being super nervous is kind of a trait of the breed. But, seriously, she behaves like a severely abused dog sometimes.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    OP, I agree with every poster who is not being kind to you. A month of this kind of behavior and it didn't dawn on you to have him checked? Really? You should be reported for animal cruelty!!!
    To play devil's advocate, not having him checked doesn't necessarily mean animal cruelty - it could mean lack of knowledge. When I was 18 I adopted a cat from the shelter, and six months later took in a stray kitten. Almost immediately after bringing in the kitten, my older cat started to urinate outside her box. I had never had cats before, and didn't know that elimination outside the box was a common sign of UTI. I assumed it was a behavioral response to a new cat in the house. The behavior continued for two weeks, and I didn't realize anything was wrong with her until she threw up - and even then I didn't realize the two were connected until the vet told me.

    I am an animal lover through and through - I volunteer at a shelter, foster strays, and have three happy, healthy cats of my own. It's not cruelty to be misinformed - just a sad reality in a world where anyone can buy a pet with no information on how to care for them.

    The discipline methods used by the OP, however, ARE grounds for animal cruelty accusations. I sincerely hope this experience has taught her a valuable lesson in pet ownership. Violence does not teach the animal to stop a behavior - it simply teaches them to fear you.

    Let's see how many times I can write this in a day:

    "Please read the whole thread before you say anything :)"

    As I've already said, it was two weeks of occasionally (like every two days) peeing on stuff. I didn't physically rub his nose in it and there was essentially nothing in the glass.

    I think from now on, I'll just copy and paste this reply.
    I read through 1 1/2 pages, and got bored. It's a rare individual who is going to read through 4+ pages of similar responses just to see if there's been a new development.

    My comments stand regardless. I gave you the benefit of the doubt on waiting to take your cat to the vet - something many people did not. However, physical discipline (even one smack, even nose NEXT to the pee, even ONLY ONCE OMG!) is ineffective at best, and emotionally scarring at worst. I volunteer at a shelter - I see animals all the time who have been broken by violence, and even a slight tap on the nose can send them into a spiral of regression.

    I did not judge you, I simply stated that I hope you have learned from this experience and will strive to be a better pet owner in the future - as should we all.

    so question then, what are you supposed to do if a cat scratches on your couch?

    Pet him and say, "now sweetie, none of that" and give him treats?

    Um, you either scruff the cat and say a firm "NO" or hiss, which is what the mama cat does when she disciplines her kittens, OR you rattle a can of pennies to stop the cat from the activity and then redirect to an appropriate scratching apparatus. You certainly DO NOT hit nor do anything rough to the cat. You get back what you give in energy. You come at a cat angry and lash out, the cat will return that aggression.

    It's not rocket science. It's common sense.
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
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    PS - sarcasm isn't the best way to garner sympathy on a message board, "sweetie". ;)

    I'm not looking for sympathy. I was looking for anything that could help my cat who was in pain and people over reacted to me not explaining myself correctly. You can think whatever you want for putting his nose next to pee and telling him no and I DON'T CARE. He loves me and is not afraid of me because I don't abuse him.

    Also, that doesn't always work. My mom has a cat that I lived with for close to 8 years who would scratch on our wooden bench no matter how we positively reinforced her, we got "no-scratch" and "scratch here" sprays, and my father, who is a carpenter in his free time, has made multiple cat trees/scratching posts. We tried that for a year. Not every cat is the same. As much as we love them, cats have a mind of their own and will do what they want unless you do something about it. In our case, it was a squirt bottle.
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
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    PS - sarcasm isn't the best way to garner sympathy on a message board, "sweetie". ;)

    I'm not looking for sympathy. I was looking for anything that could help my cat who was in pain and people over reacted to me not explaining myself correctly. You can think whatever you want for putting his nose next to pee and telling him no and I DON'T CARE. He loves me and is not afraid of me because I don't abuse him.

    Also, that doesn't always work. My mom has a cat that I lived with for close to 8 years who would scratch on our wooden bench no matter how we positively reinforced her, we got "no-scratch" and "scratch here" sprays, and my father, who is a carpenter in his free time, has made multiple cat trees/scratching posts. We tried that for a year. Not every cat is the same. As much as we love them, cats have a mind of their own and will do what they want unless you do something about it. In our case, it was a squirt bottle.

    Don't you know that everyone on here is an expert and that what works for their cat/dog/diet/life obviously works for yours too??

    I personally don't think you did anything wrong with the discipline you give your animal.
  • ElikaCousland
    ElikaCousland Posts: 62 Member
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    I've been wondering the same thing when I read the responses saying that whacking/disciplining your animal is "cruelty and they're going to be terrified of you!"

    We have never hit my dog or been cruel in any way. But she responds to EVERYTHING as though we're about to beat the crap out of her. She's terrified all the freaking time, except when she's protecting her territory from other animals.

    We took her with us on a two-day trip to my BFF's house a couple weeks ago. Her sister lives with her and her BF was visiting at the same time. My SO and I went to the beach and they met us later. The sister's BF asked me what was wrong with my dog because he tried to give her a treat and she ran and hid in her crate.

    I know that's totally off subject and not the point, but you reminded me and it's a funny story. She's a minpin and being super nervous is kind of a trait of the breed. But, seriously, she behaves like a severely abused dog sometimes.
    Min pins are great dogs! My husband's cousin has one, but he's definitely not timid - he thinks he's a 300 pound beast. XD
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Min pins are great dogs! My husband's cousin has one, but he's definitely not timid - he thinks he's a 300 pound beast. XD

    In the face of a rottweiler, she thinks she's a 300-pound beast. But offer her a cookie ... lol
  • ElikaCousland
    ElikaCousland Posts: 62 Member
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    PS - sarcasm isn't the best way to garner sympathy on a message board, "sweetie". ;)

    I'm not looking for sympathy. I was looking for anything that could help my cat who was in pain and people over reacted to me not explaining myself correctly. You can think whatever you want for putting his nose next to pee and telling him no and I DON'T CARE. He loves me and is not afraid of me because I don't abuse him.

    Also, that doesn't always work. My mom has a cat that I lived with for close to 8 years who would scratch on our wooden bench no matter how we positively reinforced her, we got "no-scratch" and "scratch here" sprays, and my father, who is a carpenter in his free time, has made multiple cat trees/scratching posts. We tried that for a year. Not every cat is the same. As much as we love them, cats have a mind of their own and will do what they want unless you do something about it. In our case, it was a squirt bottle.

    Don't you know that everyone on here is an expert and that what works for their cat/dog/diet/life obviously works for yours too??

    I personally don't think you did anything wrong with the discipline you give your animal.
    Never claimed to be an expert, or that there's a one-size-fits-all solution for behavioral issues. I also never said that a squirt bottle was an abusive method of discipline. I only said that physical violence (ie smacking) is ineffective in cats, and in some animals can be detrimental to their emotional well-being. I also counseled patience - positive reinforcement takes longer to see results than negative punishment.

    But you can go ahead and pick and choose what points you'd like to infer from my posts. I do know that "everyone" on here can be very closed-minded when their viewpoints are challenged. =]
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    i'm always dubious of stories that evolve depending on the reaction.
  • HikerRR50
    HikerRR50 Posts: 144 Member
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    I know people are upset about the OP' s reaction to the cat peeing. I agree that the cat needs to go to a vet asap. I see no point in berating her. She clearly has no experience or knowledge.At least she asked. I wish shelters and stores gave tip sheets with cats. People tend to treat them like small dogs and do not have clue. A dog would let you know loudly if it is pain. Cats hide pain. There are always signs tho. That said, the old nose in pee punishment doesn't work for dogs either, though many still use it. Hope that kittie makes it.

    I used to believe ignorance was a good excuse until I realized that people can either 1. use google or 2. pick up a damn cat/dog/whatever pet behavior book for free from the library. Common sense says that if you are making a 10+ year commitment with a pet you need to know how to treat it. FWIW, all of my shelter cats have come with a handout with some basic tips for training and suggestions for further reading. I also think the reactions here have been very polite considering.

    I agree. I had to use google for my cat's behavioral issues when he was a bratty kitten. I learned how mama cats discipline naughty kittens and used that method, on top of the occasional time-out in his carrier when he was really naughty. It worked. I felt bad when I had to scruff or do a time-out, but I knew it was because Peanut(kitty) needed it. He showed signs that he had either been improperly hand-raised or weaned way too early and wasn't properly socialized, so I basically took over as mama cat. He's a better behaved adult cat now because of that.

    So yea, sorry for the rambling, but everyone knows how to use google. Hell, watching Animal Planet's "My Cat From Hell" can give you information.

    ^^ agree^^ and I'm pretty sure you just need to bite their ear to show dominance....could be a different animal :)
  • Live2GlorifyHim
    Live2GlorifyHim Posts: 20 Member
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    For such a "supportive" and "encouraging" community, people here sure are judgmental. She has said a million times how bad she feels and how she has learned from her mistakes. People are throwing around words like "abuse" and comparing this to beating a child and saying she should have her cats taken away from her. That is ridiculous! I love my furbabies and do the best job I can with them, but nobody is perfect. Please tell me, amongst those of you who are parents, who has never regretted a decision or a word made to a child. Let those without sin cast the first stone!

    Also, there is no sense in beating her down and making her feel even more miserable than she already does. Shame on you all!

    In other words, she got the point, learned her lesson. Now leave her alone!
  • Eeyeore
    Eeyeore Posts: 33
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    [WELL SAID!!!
    quote]
    For such a "supportive" and "encouraging" community, people here sure are judgmental. She has said a million times how bad she feels and how she has learned from her mistakes. People are throwing around words like "abuse" and comparing this to beating a child and saying she should have her cats taken away from her. That is ridiculous! I love my furbabies and do the best job I can with them, but nobody is perfect. Please tell me, amongst those of you who are parents, who has never regretted a decision or a word made to a child. Let those without sin cast the first stone!

    Also, there is no sense in beating her down and making her feel even more miserable than she already does. Shame on you all!

    In other words, she got the point, learned her lesson. Now leave her alone!
    [/quote]
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    [WELL SAID!!!
    quote]
    For such a "supportive" and "encouraging" community, people here sure are judgmental. She has said a million times how bad she feels and how she has learned from her mistakes. People are throwing around words like "abuse" and comparing this to beating a child and saying she should have her cats taken away from her. That is ridiculous! I love my furbabies and do the best job I can with them, but nobody is perfect. Please tell me, amongst those of you who are parents, who has never regretted a decision or a word made to a child. Let those without sin cast the first stone!

    Also, there is no sense in beating her down and making her feel even more miserable than she already does. Shame on you all!

    In other words, she got the point, learned her lesson. Now leave her alone!
    [/quote]

    Ironically, this thread hadn't had a post for 10 hours before you resurrected it to the front page to tell people to leave her alone.