being a "mind ninja"

most of us work right?
Anyway..as I laugh at this, I need a way to gracefully Mind Ninja this jerk and a few others I work with. Just until I find another job. Since you all are the most hilarious beasts Ive ever come across, Id like some ideas. Trust me I will find a way to use them.

Please to help you with your task. You can read the entire book for free here:
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/33740114/Ashida-Kim---Ninja-Mind-Control

Strange tattoo. Silly expression. Bangs not symmetrical.

3 out of 10. Would not bang.

You should train a pony to bite off his penis, but the best way to humiliate him is to find his weaknesses.

You'll that his favorite band is Radiohead, have your co-workers see a video clip of them being interviewed, with the band members' audio poorly dubbed over by you, making them say how much they hate your manager. However, your manager will one-up you by showing a video of you doing your piggy song.

Everyone will laugh at your humiliation. Enraged, you write a letter to Radiohead to get them to visit your work, claiming that your manager is a victim of anal cancer. You will tell your co-workers your plan to get your manager's penis bitten off at a chili cook-off, which Radiohead would arrive at and see him crying, making them think lowly of him. Afterward, your co-workers will warn your manager. He tells his parents of a starving pony on an abandoned farm, which prompts his parents to go and save it that night. Also, in an attempt to publicly humiliate you again, your manager will cook a chili consisting of the pubic hairs of all the workers.

The next day at the chili cook-off, everyone will bring chili for the competition, as do you. After they sit down to eat, your manager eats some of your chili, while you lavishly scarfs down your managers, much to the silent enjoyment of the onlookers , who are in on your manager's prank. As you are finishing his chili, your manager prepares to tell you the secret ingredient, but you then indicate that you already knew, and the chili he is eating is not his, as he switched it with a co-worker's. You tell him that he told you co-workers about your plan because he knew they would betray you and warn him.

You then announces that his actual plan was to get Mr. Denkins, the farmer who owns the pony, to shoot and kill his parents for trespassing (saying that there were "pony killers" in the area). While Denkins was busy with the police, you then stole the corpses, chopped them up and place their body parts into the very chili hewas eating. He then finds his mother's finger in the bowl, and immediately vomits and starts crying. Your final stage of your plan occurs when the members of Radiohead come along and – unaware of what just happened to him – make fun of him for crying. Finally, you begin licking the "tears of unfathomable sadness" from his face, and your co-workers, horrified at the depths to which you went for revenge, agree to never piss you off again

Hope this helps!

TL;DR

most of us work right?
I am not my own boss anymore.

seriously tho, I cant help but snicker and laugh at ppl that are obviously out of control w/their position of authority
a manager tried to write me up for proposing him and I have a cook off in the kitchen.

My issue is Ive been cooking for 15 years, I don't need a manager coming in on my shift and cooking for me. I felt I had the right to tease him a little and I was laughing. Wow is he sensitive. I refused to sign his ridiculous right up and got sent home. LOL WHO GETS SENT HOME FROM WORK??

Anyway..as I laugh at this, I need a way to gracefully Mind Ninja this jerk and a few others I work with. Just until I find another job. Since you all are the most hilarious beasts Ive ever come across, Id like some ideas. Trust me I will find a way to use them.

most of us work right?
Anyway..as I laugh at this, I need a way to gracefully Mind Ninja this jerk and a few others I work with. Just until I find another job. Since you all are the most hilarious beasts Ive ever come across, Id like some ideas. Trust me I will find a way to use them.

Please to help you with your task. You can read the entire book for free here:
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/33740114/Ashida-Kim---Ninja-Mind-Control

Strange tattoo. Silly expression. Bangs not symmetrical.

3 out of 10. Would not bang.

I'm sure she will be heartbroken.

Some of these are just for me!

Then shouldn't you have said "3 out of 10, would not *kitten* to"?

most of us work right?
I am not my own boss anymore.

seriously tho, I cant help but snicker and laugh at ppl that are obviously out of control w/their position of authority
a manager tried to write me up for proposing him and I have a cook off in the kitchen.

My issue is Ive been cooking for 15 years, I don't need a manager coming in on my shift and cooking for me. I felt I had the right to tease him a little and I was laughing. Wow is he sensitive. I refused to sign his ridiculous right up and got sent home. LOL WHO GETS SENT HOME FROM WORK??

Anyway..as I laugh at this, I need a way to gracefully Mind Ninja this jerk and a few others I work with. Just until I find another job. Since you all are the most hilarious beasts Ive ever come across, Id like some ideas. Trust me I will find a way to use them.

I'm assuming your use of "Mind Ninja" was about your own attitudes and mindfulness - not about controlling someone else's mind. You were asking about different ways of thinking to get through a work environment you don't like, right?

As I understand your situation, you worked for yourself for awhile, and now are working for someone. You don't like your manager doing something that you yourself could do perfectly well. I suspect your cook-off challenge was stated in front of others (my assumption), and that may have put your manager in an awkward position.

Said manager decided to write you up, and as is the policy of most establishments, you were asked to sign the write up. You refused to sign the write up and were sent home. I'll bet this procedure is stated in the employee handbook. Though the manager may in fact be an over-sensitive jerk who is demonstrating his authority, he does have that authority. He's the manager. You called him out. Is this a battle you really want to have?

I think the "Mind Ninja" trick you may be looking for is called Humility.

yes that's exactly to a T what I meant and what went down. I have plenty of Humility concerning this one manager, Ive disregarded the other 100x he has thrown his weight around. No one sticks up for them selves when it comes to him. I took one for the team. Im on my way into work tonight, so Im gonna let him know its squashed.

I really need to ignore him another 100 more times until I leave. That's my "humility"