A group for 'grumblers'?

Rworthy
Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
I'm looking for a group that isn't perfect. One where people can complain openly and not be looked at as a "grumbler". Let's face it, there is no exact science to losing weight. Everyone poops, as the saying goes. I am unhappy in my weight-loss success and sometimes I just want to ***** about it. So does anyone want to join my group?

Started dieting for the millionth time in April. Wanted to look good in my birthday dress by June. Lost 6 or so pounds, wore the dress, looked at the pictures and cried. Have lost another 8 or so pounds since then, which is a turtle-pace. I've lost 14 pounds since April, but still wear the same size clothes. Still feel like I'm going to be a fatass forever. I just started jogging again, although I can't do it for more than a couple minutes at a time. Having trouble staying motivated because my boyfriend isn't serious about getting in shape, eating right, etc. I keep giving up and then feeling guilty about it. Working out harder, then eating a bunch of crap because "I earned it." Something has to give and I hope it's the extra fat I carry around with me everyday.
«13

Replies

  • ChubbieTubbie
    ChubbieTubbie Posts: 481 Member
    Me! Me!

    Earlier this month I was regularly going over my calories (not by a lot, but over nonetheless) and only exercising occasionally. I lost 7 pounds. Fast forward to the last few weeks where I've been logging everything, sticking with it, exercising my *kitten* off...and nothing. I gained a pound over the weekend. What gives?! I have a scale that logs water levels, and I'm not retaining water as per that. I know I didn't eat enough to gain an entire pound! It really blows. Maybe I should half-*kitten* it some more and see if that helps. I gave myself a weight I HAVE to get to before we will start trying to get pregnant, and it was realistic for me to reach that goal by March...but the scale just isn't moving so I see that date getting pushed even farther back. And don't get me started on how crazy jealous I am of everyone who is losing 20 pounds a month!
  • I would love to join!! I want to be able to complain about something and not feel bad or guilty.. it will be an awesome out!
  • platoon
    platoon Posts: 340
    I'm down! I could stand to be real... :-)

    I'm working out and eating right now, but I won't know for sure if I'm making progress for a month or so... Not sure how I'll feel then.
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    Haha. Screw the positive motivation, sometimes you just need someone to kick you in the *kitten* and tell you your butt DOES look big in those jeans! lol. As for people who boast 20 pounds weight loss in a ridiculous amount of time, let's check back in a couple of weeks and see how many of them have gained it back. I also think at least some of them are going to weight loss "specialists" and getting prescribed 'fat people crack' to keep them moving. I don't know about you, but I quit counting calories a long time ago because it takes way too much time to fill everything out. I know when I'm overeating -- I don't need myfitnesspal to tell me that. I just need to cut it out. Baby steps!
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
    I'll gladly be your friend. :-)

    I try not to grumble too much, I'm trying (trying....) to not be 'that' girl. I'm hoping that if I stop moaning and try to be the happy, skinny girl, that one day I will be her. "They" say mind over matter... I'm reeeeeeally hoping that it works.
    I know how discouraging that it can be, I've been in that same boat for years. Let's lean on each other. We can do this!
  • Hey. So, I read your post... and it sounds like a lot of your motivation is how you look. while i totally agree that changing jeans size or something is really, really awesome and it sucks when things take a long time... this is weight loss and it's supposed to make you pissed off. our bodies are fat-gaining machines, thank you evolution combined with an affluent American society. What I think will help is a paradigm shift, a real, lasting mental change in the way you see weight loss and the point of eating well/exercising.

    For me... I never cared about stuff for a while and I was never SUPER duper overweight, but in high school I found myself in size 13/14 pants and I knew something had to change. College is, luckily, a super easy environment to lose weight in, but recently I've been hitting a wall with the number on the scale. I've been at 141 lbs for about a month, give or take. Though I've overdone it a few times, I have to continue to remind myself that every day is a new day because, well, every day IS in fact a new day. And sure, this takes a hell of a long time, but it didn't take me 3 months to gain the weight so I'm not about to expect it to take that long for me to lose it sustainably.

    As far as eating well and exercising, I don't do it just because it will make me lose weight. At first that was my thinking, and when that didn't work, I began researching where my food comes from, the American/global food system, environmental impacts of eating certain things... etc. I became something of a vegetarian, and I had this moment where I became aware of everything I shoved past my lips, and how I only have one body, and how exercising/distance running not only helps my physical body but also helps me clear my mind and is something challenging beyond my academics for me to continue pushing myself towards.

    It takes a very, very long time, and a lot of swearing, and trial and error but most importantly forgiving yourself for inevitable failures, and learning from them. It sucks sometimes... but hopefully you can get to a point where you see the healthy stuff on your plate or feel yourself moving in the gym or outside and feel blessed. At least that's how I see it... just my opinion.
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
    I think taking on losing weight and getting fit is as much about being mentally ready for the undertaking as well as thinking you're fat and want to change that. It's about commitment much more than motivation - keeping on track when it's the last thing you feel like doing. It takes a TON of positive willpower. (Negative willpower is willpower, but is self-defeating - you can't succeed if you consider yourself a failure right out of the shoot)

    I know what you mean, though. It's taken me 9 months to lose 23 pounds, and I really haven't lost anything this month. But I take it a day at a time, knowing that I'm doing better today than I was yesterday, and way better than a month ago, and WAY better than 9 months ago. It won't happen in its own, I have to MAKE it happen.

    I realize you dont want sunshine blown up your butt :wink: - I'm just saying, probably nobody sails smoothly. But encouragement works better than grumbling so that's probably why there aren't many grumble groups out there. Hey - I'll grumble with you from time to time though - it's known to happen. :laugh:
  • jer2kat
    jer2kat Posts: 71 Member
    Wow you sound just like me! I started around the same time as you too! I lost a lot of weight to begin with but no where near what I would have like to lose or what other's have lost in their first few months here. I don't have a lot of support at home and have a family that has no desire to eat healthier, well they say they want to but when we go shopping my husband will buy all kinds of crap food and then I have to fight myself everyday not to eat it. I've also noticed I do fine on days when I am by myself but the days the kids are home or my husband is home I go so far over my calories or I know I overate that day so I just plain don't log my food for the day and it seems to cancel out all the days I did do good and worked hard to stay at or under my calorie goal because I hit a platue that lasted a couple of months then I gained a couple of pounds and now I'm FINALLY back down to where I was before hitting a platue. I was, like you, trying to lose weight before my birthday in August. I was hoping for 20lb but here it is a month after my birthday and almost five months after starting and I still haven't hit a 20lb loss. I'm getting closer and I guess that is what really matters but it is so irritating to have lost so little in so many months.
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    Mentally - I'm ready. I like eating healthy. I over-analyze everything I cook, eat, buy, etc. I LIKE working out, going hiking, going on walks. I just don't like that the weight isn't disappearing as easily as it does for some.

    Has anyone seen the show "Freaky Eaters"? I think it's on TLC. One episode was about a girl who was addicted to Coca Cola. She drank 30 COKES A DAY!!!!!! 30 COKES EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! How much did she weigh? About 115 pounds. How the hell can some people eat and drink whatever the hell they want and I gain weight when I SMELL a cookie????

    This group is for griping and complaining. If I hear one more 141 pound college kid tell me it's all mental, I'm going to vomit!
  • StuAblett
    StuAblett Posts: 1,141 Member
    We all have our bad days, I know I get my share, but the good days are outnumbering the bad, but not long ago, it was the other way around. I've been on every diet you could name, multiple times, some of them I lost a lot of weight, but I put it all back on when I went off the diet. I think this is a constant refrain around here :bigsmile:

    My mother/father/brother/friends/wife over the years have cajoled me, asked me, pleaded with me, supported me, yelled at me, encouraged me, challenged me, and prayed for me to lose weight, guess what, none of that worked :tongue: What is working for me, is that I had a real epiphany, I realized that "I" was the only one who could lose the weight, don't get me wrong, having all them people in my corner helps for sure, but it is me who has to eat less, me who has to get up early and do that run, me who has to get on that bike and ride the darn thing. I was 300 pounds, I'm about 180cm or 5'11" tall, and 46 years old, I felt like I was 100 year old!

    If you BF is not supporting you, then get a new BF :wink:

    You are the only person you will spend your whole life with, you need to make friends with yourself, you need to stop banging your head against the wall, you can do this! :flowerforyou: Is it hard, yeah, sure, but in my experience the only place in the world that "Success" comes before "Work" is the dang dictionary.

    Until YOU decided that YOU will get you life in control, and not let your life control you, nothing will change. You don't need to go on a diet, you need to change your lifestyle.

    Now about the *****ing and grumbling, hey, I do that too, I've not moved much in weight lately, and that sucks, but my fitness is improving all the time. I started the Couch to 5K run program (Google it) and it just about killed me at first, then I hurt my back, a bit and running was not a good thing, so I took about 10 days off, now I'm back at it, starting week four.

    Want to grumble, well I've lost FORTY TWO freaking pounds, and no one notices, my family knows, as they are involved in my life, but even friends that I've not seen for months (I started back in June) do not notice :sad:

    FORTY TWO pounds!

    OK, I've got about another 80 pounds to go, but you would think SOMEONE would say "Hey, have you lost weight...?" but they don't, I guess that just shows how fat I still am :laugh:

    Well, I tired, I hope this helps you, I did not grumble much, I guess it is not in my nature.

    Cheers!
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
    Actually I'm a 172 pound middle aged woman who was trying to help - I see that was a mistake. Enjoy your misery!
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    Want to grumble, well I've lost FORTY TWO freaking pounds, and no one notices, my family knows, as they are involved in my life, but even friends that I've not seen for months (I started back in June) do not notice :sad:

    FORTY TWO pounds!

    OK, I've got about another 80 pounds to go, but you would think SOMEONE would say "Hey, have you lost weight...?" but they don't, I guess that just shows how fat I still am :laugh:
    When I lost weight back in high school, everyone would come up to me and ask if I've lost weight, etc. It made me feel even worse. It was like they were telling me "man, you used to be such a fatass." So I think people might be more sensitive to that now, and might say something like, you look nice, or did you get a haircut. That is a possible reason.

    A friend told me in July, you look like you've lost weight. You look like you've lost INCHES. I had only lost about 8 pounds. Yes, it made me feel fat. After that, I felt a little better, and didn't work as hard. I would prefer if people kept their weight loss comments to themselves until I reach my goal!!
  • surlydave
    surlydave Posts: 512 Member
    Can I get an "AMEN"?!!
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    Actually I'm a 172 pound middle aged woman who was trying to help - I see that was a mistake. Enjoy your misery!
    Did you ever stop and think "I'm not a 140 pound college kid, so maybe she isn't referring to me?" Good bye and good luck!
  • JustAmy
    JustAmy Posts: 291
    I like the grumblers group, can I join too??

    I've been keeping track of everything here since January 2010, staying in calories and working out 5 days a week, well, as you can see, I've only lost 15 pounds in that time:angry::angry: :angry:

    And honestly, if I grumble too much, it tends to lead to laughing....................:bigsmile:
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    I like the grumblers group, can I join too??

    I've been keeping track of everything here since January 2010, staying in calories and working out 5 days a week, well, as you can see, I've only lost 15 pounds in that time:angry::angry: :angry:

    And honestly, if I grumble too much, it tends to lead to laughing....................:bigsmile:
    Exactly...I'm glad some people understand the point of this group!
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
    My mistake ... my post started out with the silly mental stuff so I guess I assumed too much. In any case, sorry to have ruined the party.
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    My mistake ... my post started out with the silly mental stuff so I guess I assumed too much. In any case, sorry to have ruined the party.
    That's ok. We don't discriminate. But you have to have a thick skin to appreciate this group!
  • gambitsgurl
    gambitsgurl Posts: 632 Member
    I have a dark sense of humor and grumble a lot. And today, I feel fat :-(
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    I have a dark sense of humor and grumble a lot. And today, I feel fat :-(
    Welcome to the club!!
  • gambitsgurl
    gambitsgurl Posts: 632 Member
    I have a dark sense of humor and grumble a lot. And today, I feel fat :-(
    Welcome to the club!!

    If I don't get my period within 24 hours I'll know it's my *kitten* and not water retention. >:-(
  • I read your post while at work(which wasn't the best idea thinking back) because I started smiling and laughing. I knew I had found someone that thinks on the same level I do. I really want to lose weight, yet it seems like the harder I try the harder it is. I love the idea for a group for "grumblers".
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    I am a natural grumbler tbh.
    I have been losing weight for the same amout of time as you, yes in the begining it was amazing, now I lose about 1lb every other week, if that sometimes. It is happening, it is just happening very, very slowly.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Mentally - I'm ready. I like eating healthy. I over-analyze everything I cook, eat, buy, etc. I LIKE working out, going hiking, going on walks. I just don't like that the weight isn't disappearing as easily as it does for some.

    Has anyone seen the show "Freaky Eaters"? I think it's on TLC. One episode was about a girl who was addicted to Coca Cola. She drank 30 COKES A DAY!!!!!! 30 COKES EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! How much did she weigh? About 115 pounds. How the hell can some people eat and drink whatever the hell they want and I gain weight when I SMELL a cookie????

    This group is for griping and complaining. If I hear one more 141 pound college kid tell me it's all mental, I'm going to vomit!


    YEAH!!! I haven't lost a friggin thing!!! I've been working my *kitten* off for over two months! and i haven't lost a pound...a few inches maybe, but how do i know i'm not just bloated...and i'm going to throw this out there...i friggin hate working out! i hate the sweating and the smelling, and the juice monkeys! i hate the gym...I hate the cute little girls in their $300 lululemon sweatshop outfits that don't even know how the ellyptical turns on! Yet they stare at me all snotty like "what are you doing here fatty"....UP YOURS YOU SKINNY BROAD!!!!!i know there are other excercising i can do, but i don't...i go to the gym, b!tch the whole time i'm there and then go home...this losing weight crap sucks, i have to become obsessed with food and calories or else nothing will change...I even bought a tai chi dvd off the internet, they recommend you watch it entirely before you get up and try it, i passed out in the first 10 minutes of it and missed the whole damn thing!
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
    i friggin hate working out! i hate the sweating and the smelling, and the juice monkeys! i hate the gym...I hate the cute little girls in their $300 lululemon sweatshop outfits that don't even know how the ellyptical turns on! Yet they stare at me all snotty like "what are you doing here fatty"....UP YOURS YOU SKINNY BROAD!!!!!
    Amen, Sister!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    If I don't get my period within 24 hours I'll know it's my *kitten* and not water retention. >:-(
    [/quote]



    hahahahahahhaaahhhaa haha omg this literally made me laugh out loud...i laugh because i know! i love this group...finally we can admit that we aren't happy and self motivated constantly...and that losing weight actually does suck
  • I'm right there with you all. I don't go to the gym, because I don't want to pay for a membership. But I do have a bike with a baby trailer, so I can tow my little one around while I work out. But I get out onto the road and after a while I see all the Plastic Mom's, jogging or riding their bikes, and I'll say Hi or wave AND GET NO FRIKKEN RESPONSE! Well excuse me Mrs. Boobjob, I didn't realize that this was not an equal opportunity bike path. And if you don't get your slow *kitten* out of the way, I'm going to run you over.

    Oh, and I also hate Utah. :)
  • JustAmy
    JustAmy Posts: 291
    :laugh: :laugh: this is too much fun!:laugh: :laugh:

    okay, really, I gotta get some work done:bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • Mesmereyes
    Mesmereyes Posts: 83 Member
    This group is for me! It doesn't happen often but on Friday I was having a hard day, feeling defeated, confused, frustrated, and sorry for myself. So, I posted something called" I should only drink water." I was not REALLY going to stop eating! Haven't been able to thus far LOL But just wanted to say some of the things I think, wanted to say that it gets hard. And OMG! Some people were so helpful, and some were very encouraging. Some offered suggestions, and some just understood that I just had to get it out. BUT there were others who thought the best approach was a hard line and to tell me everything that was wrong with my thinking, and that I was lazy. Sometimes that is needed, but the truth is most of us here could run the Dr. Oz show and write our own books on weightloss. We know what to do, just sometimes it gets hard to do! Or you just don't feel like doing! Or you're having own of those days, you're mad that you even have to do in the first place. These are not excuses, they are emotions - responses to changes. Reactions to the stress of trying to incorporate these changes. Everyone's journey is different and for most this is not the first time we have tried to lose or get healtly. Just because it all fell it to place for one person 6 months ago and everything is going great, they seem to forget all the false starts they had for years prior. Or perhaps they were never at the point it hurt so bad to walk 1 block. If you start your journey at the point were your desire is to go vegan, lose the extra 20 lbs you gained after the birth of your 3rd child, and are determined to work up to the 10K run because the 5k is just too easy now. Then your story is not my story. I am someone so ashamed of my body that I can only show my eyes. What we do share is the common desire to lose weight, become healthy, and feel good about ourselves.

    I need to grumble every now and then. It doesn't mean that I'm lazy or I am going to give up, and even if I were, I thank those who have information and encouragement to share, and tell me to keep going. I am not perfect. I don't have all the answsers, I am overwhelmed with these new diagnoses. My doctors told me what NOT to eat, but not what to eat. You all have! I just learned on Friday that eating out is not an option. I thought chicken, and salads were healthy. Turns out it's not when it comes from a place with a drive thru window! Why didn't my doctor tell me that?? It's a process. I know that. For those of you who feel it necessary to tell me how weak, whiny, and uncommitted I am. Take a minute to think, you don't know my story. I want to lose weight! I want to be healthy! Habits that were solidified over 16 years are not going to change in the 3 weeks I've been here. What seems so easy to you now, may not have always been. Try to remember your attempts at Atkins, Southbeach, WW, Cabbage Soup, the Blood type diet, liquid diets, shake diets, lemon juice and cayenne pepper, etc., etc.. Now is your time, now it clicked in place for you. And I am truly happy for you! I I've only tried one other diet, the Ultra Simple. It didn't work. I'm still praying that now is my time.

    Sorry, this is so long! Boy! You just don't know what will come out when you type and are emotional at the same time. I guess I'll post this in the main community. Perhaps we can all learn something. I took all the great info I got on Friday and used it to make some adjustments. I feel good and I feel inspired. And even though my 1/4 of M&M's just turned into 1/2 cup (450 calories???" Are you serious? What a waste!) I'm back at it, pushing forward.
  • gambitsgurl
    gambitsgurl Posts: 632 Member
    If I don't get my period within 24 hours I'll know it's my *kitten* and not water retention. >:-(



    hahahahahahhaaahhhaa haha omg this literally made me laugh out loud...i laugh because i know! i love this group...finally we can admit that we aren't happy and self motivated constantly...and that losing weight actually does suck
    [/quote]

    As I told my husband (professional athlete) "exercise does NOT release endorphins in me. It releases hate".
This discussion has been closed.