How can I handle workplace temptations/diet sabotagers

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twistedbutterfly
twistedbutterfly Posts: 61 Member
in Motivation and Support
My friends and family have been awesome when it comes to supporting me on my weight loss. Even my coworker who is my friend has been very supportive. The problem is that this is not true of some of my other coworkers that fall under the category of acquaintance. While I'm not vocal about the fact that I'm dieting at work, I've lost enough weight for it to be noticeable (I've gone from 347 to 305) and have gotten several compliments at work. This is great. However, along with the compliments are repeated offers of cake and other goodies which is-- not so great. For instance, a few days ago, a coworker who had the day before complimented me on my weight loss offered me cake. I politely told her "no thank you". She proceeded to ask me again- four times. Today there was a pizza party to celebrate a coworker's retirement. I paid into it and had two slices- only to be asked again and again if I wanted more and when I said that I was no longer hungry to be told that I could take cake home with me. In previous diet attempts, I have even had someone passing out cookies say "you're dieting so I'll only give you two" and proceed to set two cookies down on my cubicle. Even worse, this only seems to happen once my weight loss becomes noticeable (I've yo-yo'd back and forth several times, but am resolved to make it work this time around). Otherwise, when I decline treats, I'm left alone. This is my workplace, so I can't really tell people exactly where I'd like them to put their cookies, cake, donuts and other goodies. Of course, what I put into my body is my responsibility, but it would be nice not to feel like I'm fending off diet sabotagers eight hours, five days a week. So I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to detour those who are aggressively pushing diet no no's without getting myself in trouble at work?
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  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
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    I know the feeling. Our workplace is also filled with bagels, donuts, cake, ice cream, pizza, and all those types of things that people want you to eat for some reason. I used to be polite and have a piece or two, but anymore I just say no. If people don't like it, that's too bad. Your personal goals are more important than pleasing your co-workers.

    If someone sets something on your desk, just wait for them to leave and throw it away. If it doesn't fit into your daily plan for calories and food then you don't need it. You should reward yourself on your own schedule with a few cheat meals per week so you dont feel to deprived by passing on all the sweets at work.

    I've found in the past that others close to me have actually negatively impacted my weight loss goals by telling me I was too thin or what not. The reality is they are just used to seeing me overweight all the time so that became normal to them. I don't think people really mean to sabotage your efforts, they are just generally concerned, but the reality is you are the only one that can keep yourself motivated. Just keep your eyes on your long term goal, set some short term goals that you can achieve to keep you motivated, and dont worry about what others say.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    Throw it in bin in front of them. They will soon get the idea & probably won't offer again.

    As you say, you don't have to eat it. If you have worked with these people for a long time & have always joined in on the eating festivities then they might take some time to adjust to you not eating like that any more.
  • ElsaVonMarmalade
    ElsaVonMarmalade Posts: 154 Member
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    Eating is social. It's more fun if other people are doing it.

    That said - no, there isn't a way to stop this. I honestly doubt that they are trying to "sabotage" you. Just keep saying no thank you, or take food "for home" and throw it away later. Dealing with situations in which there is too much to eat, or non-nutritious things to eat, or people who want to socialize while eating, is a required life skill. That isn't going to change no matter how much weight you lose.
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
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    I can relate to the constant food offers it does happen. I was able to cut back on the food pushers by making healthy treat options and bringing them in to share. For instance I bake cupcakes using SF pie filling and SF cake mix and top with FF cool whip and FF cream cheese mix. It's still something I can eat and its so delicious they might just see a healthy lifestyle isn't eating rice cakes and frozen meals. The strength has to come from within and remember it's you that's changing, not them. Good luck!
  • twistedbutterfly
    twistedbutterfly Posts: 61 Member
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    That's a really good idea, bringing healthy things to share. If I'm taking it too sensitively and people are really just trying to bring me into the group, then that might help. While I've never been much of a cook, this is a time where I'm trying new things and who knows, maybe I'll find I have a hidden talent for it. :)
  • twistedbutterfly
    twistedbutterfly Posts: 61 Member
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    I know the feeling. Our workplace is also filled with bagels, donuts, cake, ice cream, pizza, and all those types of things that people want you to eat for some reason. I used to be polite and have a piece or two, but anymore I just say no. If people don't like it, that's too bad. Your personal goals are more important than pleasing your co-workers.

    If someone sets something on your desk, just wait for them to leave and throw it away. If it doesn't fit into your daily plan for calories and food then you don't need it. You should reward yourself on your own schedule with a few cheat meals per week so you dont feel to deprived by passing on all the sweets at work.

    I've found in the past that others close to me have actually negatively impacted my weight loss goals by telling me I was too thin or what not. The reality is they are just used to seeing me overweight all the time so that became normal to them. I don't think people really mean to sabotage your efforts, they are just generally concerned, but the reality is you are the only one that can keep yourself motivated. Just keep your eyes on your long term goal, set some short term goals that you can achieve to keep you motivated, and dont worry about what others say.

    Thank you. You are right, of course. People can leave cake on my desk, but they can't make me eat it. :) It does occur to me that I've done this enough (losing weight and then regaining it) that instead of being malicious (as I'd previously thought), they just may not be taking it seriously and make be used to be falling back into bad behaviors. Perhaps time will help them to see that I'm determined.
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
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    While I do think diet saboteurs exist, they are few and far between. Most likely they are just trying to be nice and share. And it is nice to share a treat with co-workers. And it's OK to do that even while you're trying to lose weight. Maybe you could start a Fridays only treat rule and let everyone know about it. You could also be just a bit more emphatic when you say no so the offers won't be repeated. If they sense that you might change your mind they might ask again. Instead of "Um...well...I better not" say, "I'm definitely finished" or "I won't be eating any more of that." Keep working on your new habits and before you know it everyone around you will accept the new you.
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
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    You just have to make it a habit to turn things like that down most of the time. That's what I do. But sometimes I'll have a piece of cake or something here and there. I just make sure it doesn't throw things off for the rest of the day or week. We're only human, not machines, so its okay to enjoy sweets now and then, its just when it becomes habit and we say yes every time and then have seconds too that you get into trouble.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    If saying no is too difficult, just tell them you're allergic. :laugh:
  • optimisticoutlook
    optimisticoutlook Posts: 6
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    Good question!
    This just happened to me too. I had someone actually holding a peanut butter filled brownie in my face,
    While they were saying, "Oh come on just one little bite won't hurt, they are sooooooooo good! You have to try them."
    This was after I had told them three times, " I would love to, but I really can't." "No thanks, it will ruin my diet."
    " I really can't, but thanks." and they they ended the conversation with, " OK, you're missing out... but I admire your self discipline."
    Was she trying to see me cave or what??? I too have lost 50 pounds over the last few months. It is hard work. And I deal with my food demons everyday! I wish people like that would be more supportive. I don't get it.
  • callas444
    callas444 Posts: 261 Member
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    Have you ever seen that commercial for nicotene gum where they sing that 'I just want to celebrate' song? Each time you say no to temptation, you are stronger. You should celebrate those as victories. It may take some time for your co-workers to understand that you have changed your habits, but humans don't like to be turned down. Keep your resolve and they will eventually give up. Even if they don't, remember to cheer yourself on for not eating workplace crap. Be consistent, be strong.

    Good luck with your journey.
  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
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    just remember your goals and stay disciplined nothing works unless you do
  • jewel22887
    jewel22887 Posts: 72
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    A polite no thank you goes a long way. :)
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,531 Member
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    I give unsolicited/unwanted "treats" to the custodial staff...usually a young man on limited budge who could ill-afford such yum stuff. Store bought dessert stuff? Well....I'm a self-professed dessert food snob and tell the baker. And if that doesn't work, then I wrap it up in napkins and stuff it in the trash (not in front of the person unless really I just want to be mean, lol).

    To me, dumping a box of stale donuts or leftover cold pizza or half-eaten store-bought crusty cake leftover from staff meetings is no big deal. Its a lot cheaper to throw out than it is to pay higher cost for bigger clothes. And isn't it funny how no one at the office seems to miss this stuff once its out of sight?
  • egh1974
    egh1974 Posts: 147
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    So yeah, it sucks. But, I also work directly across the street from a grocery store and I don't go over there and overindulge. There's all sorts of crap in there. You work in a building with other humans, and chances are you didn't give a crap who made a lifestyle change before you did, so suck it up buttercup. And I mean that with all the love in the world...
  • jjnt007
    jjnt007 Posts: 302 Member
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    Yesterday I was on a committee that held a retirement party. The menu was punch, ice water in a punch bowl, brownie cake with frosting, cheese cookies, strawberries with that wonderful sugar dip on the side, finger sandwiches. I was in charge of cutting the brownie cake and serving it to 100 people. I ate two strawberries. Sometimes when people offer me desserts I accept and give them to a young man that is thin that works in an office behind my desk. He is always so appreciative of the snack and no one really knows that I did not eat the food. You can do this. Stay strong but do not think of it as offensive because they might just think of it as not wanting to leave you out.
  • twistedbutterfly
    twistedbutterfly Posts: 61 Member
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    If saying no is too difficult, just tell them you're allergic. :laugh:

    Lol. It had occurred to me that I could tell them I was diabetic, but I'm too honest for that. You guys have great suggestions and I think that I have been taking it too personally. I have my goals and that's what matters.
  • pistolcrystal
    pistolcrystal Posts: 3
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    Food is naturally associated with the social fabric and nurturing. I would not read too deeply into your coworkers' sharing of food. Really, the best approach is to keep a subtle visual reminder of your goals where you can see it at all times, and let that visual reminder help you to get into the habit of handling these situations in the most appropriate way that I have found: nibble for show, then render the food inedible once no one is looking and get rid of it.

    A couple weeks back, the well-meaning lady at my favorite sandwich shop slipped a chocolate frosted sprinkle donut in with my bahn mi (at 750 cals a pop, the bahn mi was a treat in itself! bread! le sigh.). When I discovered it, I tentatively had a bite and then remembered that NO DEEP FRIED SUGARY CONFECTION IS WORTH NOT HAVING A SEXY BODY PERIOD END OF STORY and then I threw the donut into my desk garbage can and poured water all over it. Yes, that is weird. But wearing a size 12 when you're only 5'2" is worse IMO!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    So yeah, it sucks. But, I also work directly across the street from a grocery store and I don't go over there and overindulge. There's all sorts of crap in there. You work in a building with other humans, and chances are you didn't give a crap who made a lifestyle change before you did, so suck it up buttercup. And I mean that with all the love in the world...

    I feel pretty much the same way.

    I'm the type of person who has a sweet tooth and would happily arrange (or rearrange) my entire day around some high quality scone or the frosting off a piece of birthday cake, if needed...because I like stuff like that. However, if someone offers me a rando cupcake or not-that-great treat I have no trouble refusing it.
  • jackielou867
    jackielou867 Posts: 422 Member
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    Before mfp a friend of mine often brought treats to work, and i didn't like to offend. One day she brought large chocolate muffins.She is a lovely person, but I politely refused. I told her they had more calories than my breakfast that day. Actually at that time one third of my daily limit! I told her how hard it was for me, with practically no willpower, to stick to diets in the past, and how amazing I felt every time I lost a kilo. She was very understanding, she said never mind I will take these home to my brothers, not eating hers either. She has been amazingly supportive since.
    As for anyone else who feels its OK to push their junk food at me, even after I politely refuse, well they don't know me well enough, or care about me enough, for me to be bothered if iI hurt their feelings by refusing!
    Of course, if you are still too polite, just tell them it looks lovely but you have a slight gluten allergy and its probably not a good idea to eat that today. Of course that little white lie means you can't be seen with naughty foods at lunch any more, which is a big win for your diet :-)

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