How did you accept this?

I think these are very good questions, but to be honest there's too much negativity and self-torture going on here!

First of all, the important thing is that MFP teaches people to make a lifestyle change - to love good food and exercise. So I personally feel that by the time I reach my goal, I will be well used to eating and having a fitness routine and therefore won't have to count every single calorie anymore. You learn so much about food and how your body reacts to it in just a short time on MFP and that knowledge just naturally becomes a part of your life.

So I don't even think about having to count calories for the rest of my life - I'm simply going to carry on eating well and exercising for the rest of my life.

A single slip-up doesn't damage your progress - come on... you have cheat days once a week, why not change the way you see those "slip-ups" - it's not the end of the world! You're not going to gain 10lbs overnight from one slip up!

I'll always have any food I want when I feel like it - it's what I eat for the rest of the day and the next day that will make a difference.

The battle to changed your mind and body is not a lifelong process - once you learn, you learn. You can CHOOSE not to follow what you learned, but you can't help it - what you learned about what's good for you will always stay with you.

About comparing to others - this is something that's down to the individual I believe, perhaps a question of self-esteem? I can't help you there because I genuinely believe that comparing yourself to others is really counter-productive in every way. You can just be you, occupy a space that's just yours and filled with your own talents, thoughts, goals etc, and never compare yourself to others except when you need motivation. Everything else can be, to some, a waste of time and very bad for your ego. Just don't do it!

Because the alternative is so unacceptable.
I never want to go back to where I was, and I just have to keep telling myself that.
Definately not easy, but every one of us is worth the effort it takes.

How did you accept that you would have to count calories for the rest of your life? The minute I stop I gain weight

I didn't, because I won't. At the moment I'm young and fitness, lifting and aesthetic goals part of my mind right now. Will I do it forever? Nope. One day I'll just say "bugger it" and just settle down.

How did you accept that a single slip up will damage your progress? Every week with a couple of mistakes in it and the scale does not change or goes up.

A single slip up won't damage my progress. Currently bulking, if I undereat one day, I can overeat the next. Vice-versa occurs when (and if) cutting, or just call that day a loss and move on; not stress about things like that, when in reality, they're probably due to special occasions (ie, holidays, reunions, etc)

How did you accept that certain foods you will never be able to have just because you feel like it? I have a cheat day once a week but if that craving strikes me on a non cheat day, I struggle

I'm Coeliac. I eat gluten, I can be hospitalised. Dealt with it.

How did you accept that the battle to change your mind and body will be a life long process?

Pretty much this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEm5E6yFUG0

How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying it's not fair they get to be thin naturally?

Before I started tracking macros I was underweight, skeletal and weak. Probably due to not eating enough. In response, I was envious of those bigger/more muscular than me, but then realised that was because they were eating more. Nothing unfair about it.

How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying I am just not dedicated enough, strong enough, good enough to change?

By being dedicated, strong and making a change.

Some good replies here.

Believe in yourself. Not just in your ability to lose weight or reach your fitness goals, but in LIFE.

Sometimes, it might be difficult, but you are worth it.

I purely use my fitness pal to simply log my food.

My motivation to continue is my health. We only live once and really, nobody has time to be fat or unhealthy. Once I really let that sink in losing weight can be quite a fun journey. Even when I hit my goals, look exactly how I want to look. The motivation will be how far I've come

I have been trying to loose weight/get healthy for a while now and run into a mental barrier. I do good for a while but then I start stuggling and fall back into old habits.

How did you accept that you would have to count calories for the rest of your life? The minute I stop I gain weight

That suggests you're having issues with either estimating how much food you're eating or not caring when you do overeat.

How did you accept that a single slip up will damage your progress? Every week with a couple of mistakes in it and the scale does not change or goes up.

You're not a special snowflake and you WILL make mistakes, same as the rest of us. Welcome to Earth and being human. What you do with those mistakes is up to you.

How did you accept that certain foods you will never be able to have just because you feel like it?

I don't get to punch stupid people in the face even though I feel like it, either. There is NO food that's "off the list" for me (other than soda, which I see as expensive fizzy water at best). I eat ice cream, cakes, bacon, eggs, tacos, and damned near everything else - in moderation.

I have a cheat day once a week but if that craving strikes me on a non cheat day, I struggle

Stop having cheat days. On my 'diet' I'm allotted about 1600 calories a day. Anything more than that I have to earn through exercise - and I've put in some long hours of heavy labor to splurge.

How did you accept that the battle to change your mind and body will be a life long process?

By not looking at it in that way. I work out and eat the way I do because I feel worlds better when I do. It's gotten to the point where I have to move a lot to feel right.

How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying it's not fair they get to be thin naturally?

People who are 'naturally thin' eat at their maintenance level. It's not rocket surgery.

How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying I am just not dedicated enough, strong enough, good enough to change?

By not having a victim mentality. The further I get from the fatass I used to be, the more my thinking has changed from "I can't do this" to "What the hell do I have to lose by giving it a shot?" and it carries across to most aspects of my life.

Seriously - and this is going to be harsh - you're whining. Stop that. There are people here with far worse problems than yours who WILL make it to their goal because they stopped complaining about 'how hard it is' and 'my genetics' and just ****ing did it.

I've been fat or obese for almost my entire adult life, and currently I'm nine pounds from being normal weight. I started this at the age of forty five.

Does it take effort? Of course. Are there days I want to throw in the towel? Damned straight there are. So what? I don't feel like going to work some days, or rolling out of bed, or doing the dishes either - but they all MUST be done if I'm to live any kind of life worth the effort.

How did you accept that you would have to count calories for the rest of your life? The minute I stop I gain weight

Well, I have two chronic health conditions I have to manage for the rest of my life. One is mental illness and one is a heart condition I was born with. So I just consider my weight issues like that; a chronic condition I have. If I don't manage it, The fat will creep back on. Can't cry over it, many, many, many people have much worse conditions than a bit of the crazy, a bum heart, and periodic fat attacks :laugh:

How did you accept that a single slip up will damage your progress? Every week with a couple of mistakes in it and the scale does not change or goes up.

This used to bother me but after a while, about 6-7 months in I realized that the scale was consistently going DOWN. Slow, and sometimes blipping back up, but overall the trend was/is down.


How did you accept that certain foods you will never be able to have just because you feel like it? I have a cheat day once a week but if that craving strikes me on a non cheat day, I struggle

I don't accept this, not at all. I eat what I want, when I want. I just don't OVEREAT on treats. See my diary. See my weightloss. :drinker:


How did you accept that the battle to change your mind and body will be a life long process?

What was the alternative? Refuse to accept it and remain obese? Listen, I got SICK from obesity. Ugh. I refused to accept there was nothing I could do but remain passively stuffing my face and being inactive. :noway:


How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying it's not fair they get to be thin naturally?

I learned in Kindergarten that life is not fair, so this wasn't an issue for me :happy:

How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying I am just not dedicated enough, strong enough, good enough to change?

By telling myself that I AM dedicated enough, strong enough, good enough to change!! :flowerforyou:

Everything I could have said to fully answer your questions has been stated by the members above me. There are a lot of good answers here, and should be taken to heart. It IS all about mindset: lifestyle change vs. dieting/temporary change. You are worth the effort it will take to stick to the changes that you know you need to make for you. Stick with it, and be PROUD. You're not alone. :-D

I completely understand. But don't get discouraged! Look at you! You've already lost 48 pounds! That's huge! And you are looking great!

I know it seems daunting, but I do believe that it's all about building habits. You have to put some effort into it now because you're changing the habits you've lived with for how many years? What you've been taught all your life, what you've allowed yourself. But once you get used to it, once you learn what works for you, once you see the change in your body, you will be more motivated to stick with those new habits.

Yes, there are setbacks, some people stop trying and gain the weight back, but as long as you are breathing, you have the power to change. You just have to want it. Don't sacrifice and deny yourself everything that you love. Just learn to make healthier choices. It's okay to give yourself a day every now and then that you have something you really love. You can always exercise to counter those extra calories. You can have something that's not so good for you if you are careful with the portion and offset it with healthier choices the rest of the day. It's all about moderation.

Don't see it as something that you're giving up, but something that you are gaining. Confidence in yourself. Peace of mind to quiet those nagging little voices in your head. Don't you feel better already? Not only about yourself, but physically? If you're insecure in yourself, you're probably always going to compare yourself to others. The crazy fit guy at the gym that lifts two hundred pounds, but realize that everyone is different and that's not you. You could be, but do you really want to be? You may see other people and feel that they have more dedication or more drive, but most of those people have made that a true way of life, one of their primary focuses. There's a difference between wanting to be healthy and fit and making fitness your life. Exercise, especially, can be addictive for some people. But that doesn't mean that because it's not for you that you are lacking in some way. People have different motivations for getting in shape. Looking good for someone, family history, a scary prognosis from a doctor, wanting to feel good about themselves. Maybe you just haven't found your true motivation. Ask yourself why you're really doing this. Think about what really matters most.

I'm a firm believer in loving yourself exactly the way you are. There are so many things to love. It doesn't just come down to your weight. And the people in your life who truly matter will love you as you are. You can do this. You just have to want it. Start by setting realistic goals for yourself. And think of that in terms of yourself and not anyone else. You don't want to look like that guy on the cover of the magazines or that actor in your favorite movie. You want to look like a better version of you. It's just like when I'm out for a run. I set my sights on a focal point a few hundred feet ahead and push myself to reach that small goal. And then set a new one. If I can just get that far.... And then a little further. And a little further. I think weight loss is much the same. Just push yourself a bit at a time. Week to week. Don't try to think about the big picture. When you stop thinking about what you can't do and focus on what you can, you'll find it so much easier. When I'm running and I'm exhausted, I don't think I can make it another two miles. But I CAN make it another two hundred feet. And what do you know? When I get that far, I realize I still have it in me to go a little bit further.

You've already come so far. You have everything to be proud of. Take PRIDE in what you have accomplished so far. You're healthier. You're stronger. You probably extended your life expectancy. Don't take the enjoyment out of food. Just find the enjoyment in change. If you are struggling especially with food, I can help you with trying to make better choices or finding substitutions for the things you really love. I'm great at meal planning. I have to manage the diets of my family and all of my kids at work. It's always just been about getting active for me. If the exercise plan you're using is too hard or not to your liking, maybe it's time to try something different. If you're getting discouraged with what you're doing now, remember you can always change. Find the thing that works for you. And good luck! You're doing a really amazing job. When those doubts creep into your mind, remember all the things you have to feel proud of. Most people don't come this far. They give up. You haven't.

sone of us will be be able to not track, some of us will never get off tracking.

I will always have to keep food and fitness in the front of my conciousness. I have seen myself let it slip twice now (first was 230 lbs to 155 stayed there two years, back up to 199, back down to 170 for my wedding dress, back up to 220, got pregnant, stayed 220, had baby still 220, crept to 210, Started MFP this time (march i think) and i am officially not overweight as of yesterday (not thin, still want to lose at least 10 lbs or at least tone up)

So i have "been around the block" and this is where i stand.

i have to weigh in daily. If i'm not tracking, i at least need to know that I'm not moving too far from my range.
I really do better if i track my food
I do better with real life goals than body goals (run a 5k DONE, run a 10k,, ride a 200km bike event, Tough mudder, Get up on a surfboard, do an unassisted chin-up, etc/) lose 10 lbs is boring, surfing is a fun real goal that requires a bunch of different aspects of strength, endurange and balance
I will never stop comparing myself to others, but that's life, I compare income, education, priorities, energy level, etc. With other people. Not just my size, so that's just who i am.

I get my motivation from my own accomplishments. I just finished a 5km run. There are skinny girls that can't do that! I know my way around a gym, that's scary for a lot of people. I know SO MUCH about food. That's important to me as well. I don't feel bummed that i am so concious of what i eat, i feel proud that i have the awareness to be careful about what i put in my body. So many heavy people (or not heave people for that matter too) have no perspective on what is healthy food, or where their calories are coming from.

just some thoughts for you

I have been trying to loose weight/get healthy for a while now and run into a mental barrier. I do good for a while but then I start stuggling and fall back into old habits.

How did you accept that you would have to count calories for the rest of your life? The minute I stop I gain weight
How did you accept that a single slip up will damage your progress? Every week with a couple of mistakes in it and the scale does not change or goes up.
How did you accept that certain foods you will never be able to have just because you feel like it? I have a cheat day once a week but if that craving strikes me on a non cheat day, I struggle
How did you accept that the battle to change your mind and body will be a life long process?
How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying it's not fair they get to be thin naturally?
How did you stop comparing yourself to others and saying I am just not dedicated enough, strong enough, good enough to change?

I've accepcted that I will have to count calories becuase I'm not like people who can 'eat normally'. Food can be an addiction for me and if I don't keep it under control I can fall back into it in the blink of an eye.

One slip up won't damage my progress. I used to believe that which is why I always quit in the past. Slip ups may slow me down, but at least I'm still moving forward.

There is nothing I'll never be able to eat. I eat my favorite foods all the time. I didn't get fat by eating them; I got fat by eating too much of them.

The battle gets easier every day but realize you'll have many ups and downs throughout the process.

Everyone has their own battles, even naturally thin people. I don't compare myself to them because I don't know what they're going through,

I now believe I am dedicated enough, strong enough and good enough as other people to make this change. You need to start believing it too.

Good luck! You can do it!

Monitoring my food is like taking my medications in the morning. It's a habit now, not a chore and a positive habit that has taken over for some negative and damaging behaviors.

Logging in every day reminds me that skipping meals did me no good, for one. In fact, that screwed up my hunger response so badly that I couldn't rely on it anymore. Not eating all day long because I was busy and then going home meant fast food and beer then. So I was getting calories but no nutrition.

Not a great way to have a life!

If it fits in your macros works for me.