C25K W5D3 NSV

So it is truly amazing what you can accomplish when your start believing in yourself and telling that old you to just shut the F up. I've lost 150+ lbs. but I still weigh 330+. I had complete reconstruction on my left knee over 10 years ago and had a severe strain of the Patellar tendon 11 months ago when I decided to start the C25K program when I was still over 400lbs. I have completed 1 nine week round of C25K already but I did it at 2mph walking and all the jogging was at 3.5mph. I have signed up to do my first 5K on 9/21. The Marine 5K Mud run. I want to complete it in less than 45 min and it has 2 big mud pits to low crawl through and 3 obstacles to complete at the half way point. I am doing a second 5K on 10/19 and my goal for it is 36 min. So this round of C25K I have been doing walking intervals at 4 mph jogging at 5mph. So after finishing my Strong lifts workout this morning I hit the treadmill for the run I have been dreading all week. C25K W5D3 the first 20 min run interval with no walking breaks.

Headphones on, music - classic rock, hit the 3mph button
5 min - warm-up done - Here we go, hit the 5mph button on the treadmill
10min - Knees are stinging but still 3 min 1 sec to go to reach a new PB
13min 1 sec - New PB everything from here on is gravy
14 min - Knees burning, breathing hard, heart rate 154 first thoughts of stopping
15 min - Dude your still over 330 lbs. why are you doing this lets stop now it’s still a victory
17 min - New PB. 12 min mile Previous PB was 13.30.
18 min - Why are you still pushing through the pain, you have lost over 150lbs everyone can see how hard you have worked why keep pushing let’s stop this madness and go get breakfast
20 min - 15 min in 5 min to go. Why do I keep doubting myself? I used to run miles at a time when I was in the Army. Yea but you were 20 years old and weighed 210 lbs., not 38 and 330lbs Why do you keep pushing, your fat accept it no one expects you to finish this
23 min - 2 min left, Why do I listen to you I have proven to myself time and time again I can overcome you, I expect to finish this, I am going to finish this, I don't need you fighting me every step of the way so either get on board or shut the f#$*k up.
25 min - did she just say cool down, I just ran 20 min at 5mph holy f'ng *kitten*
30 min - cool down done thank god the sweat is flowing so heavily that no one can see a 38 year old 330lb man crying like a little girl.

I don't know why after 1 year of starting this path I still fight with myself every day to keep going. But this morning I think I broke through a wall on that run. Over the last year I have had the high from a really good exercise burn, had a multitude of milestones and can visualize myself looking like the guy that was a star athlete in HS, played college football, and used to ace the PT test while in the Army, but today, this run, this infuriating internal fight I seem to have with myself on a daily basis was different. As I walked that 5 min cool down, crying like a little girl, but smiling like the Cheshire Cat, was the first time in a very long time that I felt like that guy from so many years ago.