This is my last resort
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starrrjo
Posts: 101 Member
It's happened!
I can't say I wasn't expecting it, I just never thought it would be this hard.
I've hit rock bottom. I've hit the point where a smile feels like pure pain. I can't bring myself to even wear a shoe that slightly shows my foot as my what was once a tiny foot is now a swollen mess.
I continually tell people (and myself) that I am happy with the way I am, but how can I be when all I want to do is lock myself away in a dark room?
The mirror shows a person I don't like. Someone I shouldn't be. How did it get like this? One minute I am a 15 year old cheerleader with a flat tummy and not a care in the world. Now I am a 25 year old mundane office worker with a hate for everything that involves being in day light.
I need to make a change, it needs to happen now or else it will never happen.
You would think that being told that if I don't lose weight, I will never conceive would have been enough.
You would think that being told that I am likely to develop diabetes before the age of 30 would have been enough.
You would think that the pure memory of the time my boyfriend said 'You can tell you've put weight on' would have been enough.
You would think that my nephew asking me how I got a big belly without having a baby would have been enough.
No! So what does it take to stop a person doing this to themselves? I continually comfort eat. I can easily justify spending £20 a time on a take away but I can't seem to gather the sense behind treating myself to a nice outfit? A top for £20 wouldn't even cross my mind as an option 'waaay out of my price range'....however, 'oh I'll take the large with stuffed crust for £19.99 please'.
My life shouldn't have come to this and no matter what excuses I have, its over. New me, New everything!
Care to give a damsel in distress a lil' help?
I can't say I wasn't expecting it, I just never thought it would be this hard.
I've hit rock bottom. I've hit the point where a smile feels like pure pain. I can't bring myself to even wear a shoe that slightly shows my foot as my what was once a tiny foot is now a swollen mess.
I continually tell people (and myself) that I am happy with the way I am, but how can I be when all I want to do is lock myself away in a dark room?
The mirror shows a person I don't like. Someone I shouldn't be. How did it get like this? One minute I am a 15 year old cheerleader with a flat tummy and not a care in the world. Now I am a 25 year old mundane office worker with a hate for everything that involves being in day light.
I need to make a change, it needs to happen now or else it will never happen.
You would think that being told that if I don't lose weight, I will never conceive would have been enough.
You would think that being told that I am likely to develop diabetes before the age of 30 would have been enough.
You would think that the pure memory of the time my boyfriend said 'You can tell you've put weight on' would have been enough.
You would think that my nephew asking me how I got a big belly without having a baby would have been enough.
No! So what does it take to stop a person doing this to themselves? I continually comfort eat. I can easily justify spending £20 a time on a take away but I can't seem to gather the sense behind treating myself to a nice outfit? A top for £20 wouldn't even cross my mind as an option 'waaay out of my price range'....however, 'oh I'll take the large with stuffed crust for £19.99 please'.
My life shouldn't have come to this and no matter what excuses I have, its over. New me, New everything!
Care to give a damsel in distress a lil' help?
0
Replies
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hey girl!
not sure if it helps but i'm super jealous of you being able to spend £20 on a single meal... that like USD$27?? if i had that kind of change to spare, i would be buying broccoli and cauliflower and healthy grains and super flavorful cheeses etc. unfortunately, i am living in nicaragua where such things as fresh spinach & kale & brussel sprouts etc are virtually non-existent.... it's pretty much just cabbage here
lol
butttttt if you have the motivation (which i think you do), there are so many amazing HEALTHY recipes that you can make when you can afford quality ingredients. my suggestion is to put that money for pizza into a delicious dish of baked brussel-sprout with a bit of nice shredded Parmesan and a delicious fresh salad with arugula and kalmata olives etc. it'll be wayyy better for you, and seriously just as delicious.
another suggestion that i read on the site today (i just joined yesterday) is to make an "improvement jar" -- for every pound you lose, decide how much you want to put in it (£5 or £10 per pound) so when you get to the weight you desire, you can use that money to buy new, fitting clothes!
i wish you luck!! you can do it!
xx sara0 -
Thank you Sara, that sounds really helpful. I don't know why I haven't taken up cooking...perhaps this could become a hobby...hmm
But don't worry, I can't afford to spend £20 on a meal which is why I'm always flat broke lol. The saving idea is really good. I'm definitely going to try it.
Thank you so much. xxx0 -
Hi, I'm just up the road from you in Brum. Please feel free to add me for support.0
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You would think that being told that if I don't lose weight, I will never conceive would have been enough.
You would think that being told that I am likely to develop diabetes before the age of 30 would have been enough.
You would think that the pure memory of the time my boyfriend said 'You can tell you've put weight on' would have been enough.
You would think that my nephew asking me how I got a big belly without having a baby would have been enough.
No! So what does it take to stop a person doing this to themselves? I continually comfort eat. I can easily justify spending £20 a time on a take away but I can't seem to gather the sense behind treating myself to a nice outfit? A top for £20 wouldn't even cross my mind as an option 'waaay out of my price range'....however, 'oh I'll take the large with stuffed crust for £19.99 please'.
My life shouldn't have come to this and no matter what excuses I have, its over. New me, New everything!
Care to give a damsel in distress a lil' help?
Being told by other people never does the trick, I know because I used to smoke but I stopped because I decided thats what I needed to do for me.
I am now an obese non smoker and hid behind the "at least its not as unhealthy as smoking" until I realised that the reason why I was white after a holiday in Greece was because I couldn't face uncovering in front of others. I am going back next year and I will come back with a tan.
Deciding to do this for you is the first step and you have made that. Now is the dedication bit, weigh and log everything and eat below your calories. If you think you are going over take a walk or some other exercise to give you more calories to play with. It really is that simple.
Everyone here that I have friended have been ultra supportive and questions on the message board are normally answered quickly and well (just do not mention "starvation mode"
I log on every day and am always willing to encourage and comment so feel free to add me if you wish0 -
hiya i just joined yestaday,and im really hoping i can do this to xx0
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Okay, good for you! What's your plan? You've addressed what you don't like. How, specifically, are you going to deal with this? Why did your last "diets" fail (by the way, stop dieting). All from comfort eating? If so, what are you going to replace eating with? (Hint: it takes about 30 days to form a new habit, and it's almost impossible to replace an old habit -comfort eating - if you don't replace the old habit with a new habit.) Come up with a PLAN. :flowerforyou:0
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Thank you Poohbear1958, I have added you as a friend. Thanks for the support0
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i definitely recommend taking up cooking, if you have the time & if you think it might interest you!
it makes adding your meals on here a bit more work (because you have to add all the ingredients), but that way you know EXACTLY what foods are going into your body, and you can control it better!
i'm vegetarian, so it doesn't make much sense for me to eat out here (you can only eat rice&beans so many times). so i've taken up cooking. it's a lot of fun (for me. everyone's different). my salt intake is less than half of what it would be if i ate out, and i can add way more variety to my meals.
actually, i became vegan like 6 or 7 years ago (just went veg in the last 3), and when i became vegan, i went from almost 200 pounds to 160 in 5 months, simply because it "forced" me to cut out the ice cream and hot pockets and to be more conscientious when i ate and snacked.. it was surprisingly super easy & it made me feel amazing..
i feel you on the flat broke part haha, but i'm also considering making an "improvement jar" -- i'd love to know there's that little bit of money hidden away to buy some new clothes when i can fit in the sizes i want to!
like someone else said, it has to be something you want. you have to commit to a true lifestyle change. i heard someone say yesterday "it took you years to put on all that weight, don't expect it all to come off in a month" -- but you can do it if you commit!!
good luck 0 -
You would think that being told that if I don't lose weight, I will never conceive would have been enough.
You would think that being told that I am likely to develop diabetes before the age of 30 would have been enough.
You would think that the pure memory of the time my boyfriend said 'You can tell you've put weight on' would have been enough.
You would think that my nephew asking me how I got a big belly without having a baby would have been enough.
No! So what does it take to stop a person doing this to themselves? I continually comfort eat. I can easily justify spending £20 a time on a take away but I can't seem to gather the sense behind treating myself to a nice outfit? A top for £20 wouldn't even cross my mind as an option 'waaay out of my price range'....however, 'oh I'll take the large with stuffed crust for £19.99 please'.
My life shouldn't have come to this and no matter what excuses I have, its over. New me, New everything!
Care to give a damsel in distress a lil' help?
Being told by other people never does the trick, I know because I used to smoke but I stopped because I decided thats what I needed to do for me.
I am now an obese non smoker and hid behind the "at least its not as unhealthy as smoking" until I realised that the reason why I was white after a holiday in Greece was because I couldn't face uncovering in front of others. I am going back next year and I will come back with a tan.
Deciding to do this for you is the first step and you have made that. Now is the dedication bit, weigh and log everything and eat below your calories. If you think you are going over take a walk or some other exercise to give you more calories to play with. It really is that simple.
Everyone here that I have friended have been ultra supportive and questions on the message board are normally answered quickly and well (just do not mention "starvation mode"
I log on every day and am always willing to encourage and comment so feel free to add me if you wish
I'm terrified of losing the motivation again. If I tell people, I am changing how I eat to get healthier they will role their eyes and say 'yeah, for how long this time' so if they don't believe in me, how can I believe in myself.
I'm feeling very determined though, I can do it Thanks for your help. 0 -
hiya i just joined yestaday,and im really hoping i can do this to xx
I am happy to support you if you need it? New starters might benefit each other?0 -
Okay, good for you! What's your plan? You've addressed what you don't like. How, specifically, are you going to deal with this? Why did your last "diets" fail (by the way, stop dieting). All from comfort eating? If so, what are you going to replace eating with? (Hint: it takes about 30 days to form a new habit, and it's almost impossible to replace an old habit -comfort eating - if you don't replace the old habit with a new habit.) Come up with a PLAN. :flowerforyou:
Okay, well, I've been reading a few posts and I can see where I am going wrong. My biggest weakness is probably convenience food and binge eating whilst at work. I suppose substitution is the most logical way around it? I love love love fruit, but the time it takes to prepare it deters me, so I suppose if I don't buy it, I can't have it right?
My sister always says, I have a major sweet tooth however my problem is slightly worse because I whenever I eat something sweet, I have to balance it with something savoury.
Here is my plan:
-Water! - The water fountain is far closer to my desk than the vending machine. Fill a bottle every time I'm empty, hopefully will deter bordom hunger.
-Snacks!- I currently snack...a lot....like, I will drive for 30 minutes if it means getting the best milk shake in town with chocolate sprinkles, flake and all the trimmings. If I bag up fruit and healthy snacks, it will save me calories and petrol?
-Exercise!- One of the perks of my job is we have an on sight gym, Free to use to all members of staff....which is one privilege I have never taken advantage of, until now! Im thinking Tuesday and Thursdays?!
Time to create a new habit I think Thanks xxx 0 -
Good luck!
Here's my take on the top suggestions for beginners that I've seen here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/how-to-use-myfitnesspal-4279930 -
Aww, bless you. We have all (or at least most of us on here) been there and can sympathise. Try to be nicer to yourself and if you make a mistake - as I do regularly - just start again from that same moment. Don't punish or starve or belittle, just brush it off and say 'I'm still closer than I was last week'
Wishing you all the best, and welcome to MFP :-) xXx0 -
i definitely recommend taking up cooking, if you have the time & if you think it might interest you!
it makes adding your meals on here a bit more work (because you have to add all the ingredients), but that way you know EXACTLY what foods are going into your body, and you can control it better!
i'm vegetarian, so it doesn't make much sense for me to eat out here (you can only eat rice&beans so many times). so i've taken up cooking. it's a lot of fun (for me. everyone's different). my salt intake is less than half of what it would be if i ate out, and i can add way more variety to my meals.
actually, i became vegan like 6 or 7 years ago (just went veg in the last 3), and when i became vegan, i went from almost 200 pounds to 160 in 5 months, simply because it "forced" me to cut out the ice cream and hot pockets and to be more conscientious when i ate and snacked.. it was surprisingly super easy & it made me feel amazing..
i feel you on the flat broke part haha, but i'm also considering making an "improvement jar" -- i'd love to know there's that little bit of money hidden away to buy some new clothes when i can fit in the sizes i want to!
like someone else said, it has to be something you want. you have to commit to a true lifestyle change. i heard someone say yesterday "it took you years to put on all that weight, don't expect it all to come off in a month" -- but you can do it if you commit!!
good luck
You're right, 10 years of mistreating my body and I expect it to be fixed with a quick apple now and again. I agree, Even if it takes me another 10 years to lose it all, It will give me a longer and fitter life and you can't argue with that.0 -
Aww, bless you. We have all (or at least most of us on here) been there and can sympathise. Try to be nicer to yourself and if you make a mistake - as I do regularly - just start again from that same moment. Don't punish or starve or belittle, just brush it off and say 'I'm still closer than I was last week'
Wishing you all the best, and welcome to MFP :-) xXx
Thank you that is so nice. I really like that quote 'I'm closer than I was last week' made me smile! 0 -
Good luck!
Here's my take on the top suggestions for beginners that I've seen here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/how-to-use-myfitnesspal-427993
That post is really useful. Thank you for your help 0 -
Welcome to MFP. You are welcome to add me if you would like to, we can support each other. Good luck.0
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Hey! I know how you feel! Don't despair tho you have made the first step!
Few suggestions....
2 jars... one labeled "To lose" one labelled "Lost" fill the to lose jar with marbles/beads/buttons anything you fancy.. make sure if you want to lose 50lbs that there are 50 marbles or whatever in it.. then as you lose weight you transfer the marbles from "To lose" into "lost"
Get a sealed money box pound land do tins.. for every pound you lose put a pound of money in it
Treat yourself to a little something each week instead of the £20 on take out spend £5 on a new lippy.. you need to reward yourself somehow thats not food.
Good luck you can do it! 0 -
Here is my plan:
-Water! - The water fountain is far closer to my desk than the vending machine. Fill a bottle every time I'm empty, hopefully will deter bordom hunger.
-Snacks!- I currently snack...a lot....like, I will drive for 30 minutes if it means getting the best milk shake in town with chocolate sprinkles, flake and all the trimmings. If I bag up fruit and healthy snacks, it will save me calories and petrol?
-Exercise!- One of the perks of my job is we have an on sight gym, Free to use to all members of staff....which is one privilege I have never taken advantage of, until now! Im thinking Tuesday and Thursdays?!
Time to create a new habit I think Thanks xxx
Great starting plan. I suggest you add tracking to it. For some people it helps even more if they record what they eat before they put it in their mouth.
Try things like licorice tea. Licorice is natural sweeter than sugar. Don't try to cut out all the things you like, deprivation usually doesn't work long term. Fruit is great for someone with a sweet tooth. Consider making your own shakes... if you're going to take up cooking, go for the good stuff -- lots of yummy recipes here and other places on the Web... and you can find ones that are healthy and taste good. Awhile ago I put together some blog entries -- one about cravings and one with over 100 snacks that are less than 100 calories (some are healthier or more filling than others, so use with care.)
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/cravings-282817
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/snacks-of-100-calories-or-less-2671980 -
I absolutely love this Jar idea, and I am definitely doing it. Also the money idea is brilliant. Thank you so much, Im really excited nowHey! I know how you feel! Don't despair tho you have made the first step!
Few suggestions....
2 jars... one labeled "To lose" one labelled "Lost" fill the to lose jar with marbles/beads/buttons anything you fancy.. make sure if you want to lose 50lbs that there are 50 marbles or whatever in it.. then as you lose weight you transfer the marbles from "To lose" into "lost"
Get a sealed money box pound land do tins.. for every pound you lose put a pound of money in it
Treat yourself to a little something each week instead of the £20 on take out spend £5 on a new lippy.. you need to reward yourself somehow thats not food.
Good luck you can do it! 0
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