I suffer from depression & my spouse says I'm faking it

well you are foreward thinking enough to want to express your feelings, so that is good! I think you should stick with one councelor and work through your issues, rather than going to many different ones. What do you mean by 'every medication?

Anyone else made to feel guilty and ashamed for their mental illness? I'm told I "feel sorry for myself" all the time. I've tried every medication and 1,000 counselors. Yet it's all my fault, I should be lucky for what I have, and quit feeling sorry for myself.

I cannot control my depression no matter how hard I try. Being told to stop feeling sorry for myself only worsens things. I don't know what to do.

Being a fat obese cow doesn't help my self-esteem.

Depression is an awful illness. You describe yourself in horrible terms, :flowerforyou: time to start to be your own BFF and go easy, give yourself a break .

Having suffered from (undiagnosed) depression for much of my adult life, I know what you are feeling, in a way. I was fortunate that my current wife was supportive, but I will say that my ex was pretty much like your spouse. While I feel for you , I would strongly recommend that you stay with ONE therapist with whom you feel comfortable, and be THOROUGHLY and completely honest with him/her, about all aspects and facets of your life. I tended to tell the therapist what I thought he wanted to hear, which, on the surface, made the sessions seem productive, but it was highly un-productive in the long run, and actually aided in me downward spiraling out of control at one point.

Best of luck to you, and may God bless you.

I have never been diagnosed with depression myself, but I know the signs and have learned to live with the person I am and can become, most importantly being honest with myself. I mean is that I have come to term with my feelings about myself and know I don't want to be that person or feel a certain way. It was five years ago that I snapped and knew I had to make a change in my life. I went back to school, started managing my weight and learned to love myself. My relationship with my husband is way much better now. I have to admit at times I felt sorry for myself and spent days in bed and wanted to be nurtured. I think if my husband caved into my depression, he would enabled and contributed to my behavior and illness. Perhaps your husband wants to see you as a strong vibrant women he knows you can be. Focus on yourself and set goals

Faking it! Why would anyone want to fake depression? Just cause you cant see it doesnt mean its not there. Regardless of what he sees you know its there. I would start with a good physical to rule out any thyroid issues or underlying medical causes. Have you tried keeping a journal of when symptoms get worse. It was a long time before I realized that every year in July I get funky. Duh thats when my mom died. And even though Ive dealt with the loss, I still squirly that time of year. Also, not sure where your at but season changes, lack of sunlight can cause SAD. There are special lights that can help with that type. Vitamin B12 shots have also been shown to help. (They can help weight loss) My advice would be to keep trying until you find out what works best for you. Never give up, there are literally hundreds of treatments out there. Good luck to you and I hope you add me as a friend.

good advice that ^ ^ ^ ^

I've been in your boat and it is not a good feeling. 3 years ago it became the worst it had ever been. I hated getting up in the morning, I hated myself & just wanted to give up. My husband was the same way your spouse is and kept telling me that it wasn't a big deal and to get over it. I was so ashamed. How could I be depressed when I had 2 kids, a job, a husband & a roof over my head. Finally on one really really bad day I got up the courage to talk to a guy friend of mine that is also an EMT. It took me several "chats" (really text messages) for him to get me to understand that I had nothing to be ashamed of and needed to go to the doctor. It took me another 2 weeks but I took the huge step and made a call. I went to my appointment without my husband even knowing and started on meds. I never told my husband because I knew what he would say (pretty much what your spouse is saying). After about a month I noticed a change in myself but the medication wasn't agreeing with my body so I changed. Within the next month my husband started to notice my mood change and commented on it. It was then that I finally sat down and had a good long talk with him. He now understands and it makes it so much easier. I'm still on medication for my depression and if I miss even 1 pill it feels like I back at step one. Depression is such a hard thing that not everybody understands. People so often think that people do it for attention but if they really knew what goes on inside our heads they wouldn't think that. My advice for you is that it will be a really long road to find something that works for you. It could be just talking to counselor or a good friend (I have a hard time talking to people so didn't do this) or medication. Either way you need to see a doctor. If you are having problems with your current one look for another and another until you find one that you trust and feel comfy with. Just don't give up no matter what. Depression isn't something that you can battle yourself. You need support from people that understand. It could be that your doctor is the only one that you can talk to but it's better then nobody. I've had about every horrible thought in my head that you can think of and I still do at times. I'm overweight as well and I'm working on loving myself. Never be ashamed of who you are. I'm here if you need to talk.