100 + to lose, why can't I take the first step?

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jcx13
jcx13 Posts: 15 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi

I joined (rejoined) MFP today and really feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life. I'm 38 years old, a father of young kids, and living a very unhealthy lifestyle.

My issue is that although I'm self aware and I have desire to change, I'm having a nearly impossible time finding the spark to get me going on a weight loss plan/lifestyle change. Food is my comfort as it is for most of us, but it's also my worst enemy. I can't seem to make peace with it and move on, it stops me cold every time.

I feel like I've hit the self destruct button on my life and there's no override.
People say the way to start is by starting. Easier said than done.
I'm not even sure what I'm saying or what I'm asking for other than an empathetic ear, maybe a success story, and some motivation to get eating right and exercising.

I don't want to be fat anymore. I want to be healthy and "average". How do I get there?

Thank you!
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Replies

  • mamadon
    mamadon Posts: 1,422 Member
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    When you have a lot to lose, it can be hard to even start because the amount to lose can seem insurmountable. Just start. Tell yourself that just for today I am going to eat less and move more. Then say it again the next day and the next. Try not to even think about six months down the road. If you fail one day ( and you will) don't engage in self loathing and guilt. Pick yourself up and carry on. Tell your self time is going to pass whether you lose weight or not, so you might as well lose weight!
  • CooperSprings
    CooperSprings Posts: 754 Member
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    Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.
    You started your first step; you joined this.

    Second step, log everything you eat.
    BE HONEST. Don't skip anything. Eat what you normally would- just now keep track.

    Step three; go for 1 walk a day. Could be a half hour, could be five minutes. Doesn't matter.
    You don't have to start to lose a ton of weight immediately.
    But you DO have to start being completely self aware.
    Become aware, and you'll change bit by bit.
    I'm sure of it.
  • ChasingKatie
    ChasingKatie Posts: 331 Member
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    Just start with logging. Dont worry about staying under calories, just log to see where you are at for a week. Then the next week, take another small step in the right direction. You will get there
  • badsland
    badsland Posts: 2 Member
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    I am having the same problem. I start and then a week later, I quit logging and before you know it, I am snacking and eating whatever I want. But I refuse to give up! I agree with baby steps. Just log everything today. Then do it again tomorrow. If you miss a day - start again the next day. One day at a time. BUT don't give up!
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    I had tried so many times unsuccessfully. Something in me just clicked that this was the time to do it. I don't know how else to explain it.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    You're here...again. DON'T SCREW IT UP THIS TIME!!! :wink:

    I kid. Sort of. I have now been on this site for over 950 days. I had 50ish pounds to lose and I lost about that many my first year. I ate a reasonable amount of calories including my exercise calories. I have now maintained for over a year (including a small hiccup called brain surgery in February where I gained about 6 pounds during recovery most of which is back off now). My first couple of weeks here I made a friend on here who was a personal trainer. I wrote her a long winded message with all of my "reasons" that I couldn't fit in exercise or didn't have time to prep food or whatever. She wrote me back and said simply that she didn't think I was ready. That STUNG. Because I felt ready. I needed someone to show me my faults and the EXCUSES (not reasons) that I wasn't getting it done. Boy did I want to show her I could do it. So there you go. You're not ready!!!!

    Now let that be one little push towards your momentum. Get out there and get it done.
  • sunfirelynn
    sunfirelynn Posts: 186 Member
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    You got to Want to do this for yourself, if you want to lose weight ! You got to be strong and set your mind to it !!!!!
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
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    I've been there and I'm sure I'll be there again.

    I'm assuming you've figured out what you need to do and all that's missing is the motivation and 'will power' to do it.

    My best advice is to think this sentence whenever you can: "What's the right thing to do RIGHT NOW". There is no future or past, there is only right now. The present is the only time you can make a decision so the next time you are tempted by food that will derail your plan, you have to remember that sentence: "What's the right thing to do RIGHT NOW".

    Don't go through life thinking "I'll start on Monday" or "I'll get my **** together soon". No. You do it now, in the present.

    If you've been stuffing your face all thursday and it comes time for dinner and you're trying to decide what to eat, don't say "Well I've stuffed up today so I may as well have KFC for dinner". Right now, despite your bad choices in the past, you can have healthy dinner; you can start right now!
  • DonaGail
    DonaGail Posts: 190 Member
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    The way I get myself started, and I have had to do this several times, is to just start logging what you eat.

    I love fried chicken, corn and mashed potatoes, could eat this every day, and I did, I just logged it..something starts happening where you say to yourself, OK, that was good but if I eat roasted chicken or skip the potatoes or eat less corn, I can eat more food.
    I love more food.
    I do this for a long time, making small changes like half low fat salad dressing and half regular- then I cut out the regular.
    For me its all about small adjustments.
    I dont even think about exercise until Ive lost enough weight to not injur myself, but it comes gradually like the food.
    I am on round three here and I think that this time I will have success. This is just my thing..you will find what works for you.
    Good luck!!
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    Just start with logging. Dont worry about staying under calories, just log to see where you are at for a week. Then the next week, take another small step in the right direction. You will get there

    I agree with this. Just start logging all your food here in MFP. Then you'll have a baseline to refer to.

    Remember you don't have to go all or nothing. If you have a lot of weight to lose, small changes can make a big difference. You don't have to start eating salad for every meal or do anything drastic. Throw out your idea of a traditional diet.

    Pick one small thing you know you CAN change. It could just be taking what you normally eat and cutting it down by 1/4 or a focus on eating a healthy breakfast. A good one is to start to cut down on liquid calories because they generally don't have a huge effect on satiety.

    The idea is to pick one small thing that you are about 90% confident you can change. Get a calendar and mark off every day you follow through. Small slow achievable steps

    Remember if you stuff up one meal/one day, the key is to get straight back on track ASAP.
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
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    You've taken the first step by joining MFP. The second step is to use the tools - log your food and exercise, make some friends who will support you (they don't need to be in your situation as long as they are here to be healthy).

    I've found that mini goals work best for me. When I started on this path I was more than 200 pounds away from my goal. I'm more than halfway there now. You'll see my ticker at 0 lbs. lost - that's because I'm onto my next mini goal - 40 lbs off by the first of the new year.

    A friend of mine, Brad Lamm, wrote a book called Just Ten Pounds. Although I set my mini goals for more than 10 lbs, if I told myself needed to lose 200 lbs. I would have given up and never started. The first mini-goal was to get the scale to stop saying error (the scale only weighed to 400 lbs.). The next goal was 25 lbs., then another 25, etc.

    I don't "diet", I eat healthy and when tempted to eat more than I really need - I ask myself how many people that amount of food should feed. If the answer is more than one - I don't eat it.

    I wish you the best. I know this can be done with diet, exercise, and support. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
  • nitza53
    nitza53 Posts: 45 Member
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    I'm 60 just starting out. First make one small change. I stopped drinking soda, lost 5 pounds. Then joined fitness pal and I've lost 11 more pounds by just eating healthier. Make friends and log everything. go slow eat a little less move a little more it will come off.:drinker:
  • chefwrx
    chefwrx Posts: 59 Member
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    If you are looking to food for comfort, you might want to remove all of the easy convenience (Read: JUNK) food from your kitchen/pantry. After all of the junk is cleared, buy only what you really need in fresh vegetables and proteins. I don't know anything about your particular dietary needs, but you might want to look into a Ketogenic diet. If Keto doesn't fit your lifestyle, a caloric restriction may work. Do you have any activities that will keep you physically active?

    Edit - Also, you might want to watch the BBC show called Secret Eaters. It's amazing, and what the Biggest Loser should aspire to become.
  • garciabnm
    garciabnm Posts: 138
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    You got this!! The first step in anything is just the fact the you are willing to admitt you need to make that change. Baby steps like the poster above said.I never thought i could do this, but hey 15 months later I'm down almost 170 lbs. And now if i miss a day at the gym, its like when i would miss that last bowl of cereal before bed. I was lazy,unmotivated,and only wanted to come home from work and snack and play WOW. Now i've ditched the game, and took up my new hobbie of bike riding, and absolutely love it. And my life.You can do this. There are plenty of friendly people here that are supportive,and are more than willling to be there,complete strangers,hard to fathom that, but its true. You seem to have the want, now you just need the do. And you can, believe me, i never thought i would ever feel like this,but if i can do it, anyone can!
  • emancipateurself
    emancipateurself Posts: 174 Member
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    You can do this. It's super hard and the fact that your even aware and you have a desire is the first step. A lot of times there are reasons behind why someone is 100+ pounds overweight, it's not just a physical thing it's often a psychological thing as well. My only advice would be too look at it from a lifestyle change not only in your body but also in your mind and work on the both together.
    Best of luck.
  • tannyb
    tannyb Posts: 131 Member
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    Just set yourself a goal to lose one pound. If you can lose one pound, (whether it takes you half a week, one week, or even two weeks) and you see that you can do that, then you just have to repeat it 100 times. Maybe it will take you 100 weeks or 150 weeks or even 200 weeks. But a year or two from now, won't you wish you had just started today.

    Just set mini goals - having a goal to lose 100, or 50 or even 20 pounds may seem like a gargantuan task. But I know you can lose one pound. Then in a week or two, you can lose another. Even though it may be much slower than you would like, I am living proof that those one pounds add up substantially over time.

    I lost much more slowly than most - took me almost two and a half years to lose 100 pounds and I've still got another 50 or so to go, but I am eternally grateful that I did start that day. And believe me, I fell off the wagon many times. I went off track on vacations and it would often take me months to get back on track. There were many times that I was losing the same pound or five repeatedly. But the difference this time is that I kept getting back on track, instead of just saying f**k it, I can't do this just because I went over one day, or one week, or even a whole month.

    I just started with walking and logging. Gradually worked up to more intense workouts and still falter from time to time. But I just keep on going back to it - must be the stubborn in me, lol!

    Anyway, just my two cents - hope it helps! Best of luck to you!
  • daniellemm1
    daniellemm1 Posts: 465 Member
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    I agree with baby steps. I started just walking for 15 minutes and eight months later I am running. I started drinking 1 cup of water a day and cutting down on pop and now I drink 14 cups of water a day and rarely have any pop at all. Make very gradual changes. Start by figuring out what a serving size is and try eating just that. Buy a food scale because your guesses will be totally off. It will take some time to make changes but you can do it. It is hard, it is. Add some great friends who will offer support and encouragement and that will make your journey much more enjoyable. Feel free to add me if you want :)
  • Sweetredpoison
    Sweetredpoison Posts: 66 Member
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    Start with a mini goal. Drink 5 glasses of water. Don't drink soda, or limit yourself to 2x a week. Include a fruit or vegetable into a meal. Say no to fast food, or limit yourself. Anything less than you are doing now.
  • Mantha18
    Mantha18 Posts: 25 Member
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    Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.
    You started your first step; you joined this.

    Second step, log everything you eat.
    BE HONEST. Don't skip anything. Eat what you normally would- just now keep track.

    i agree with this....im still in the very early stages myself....i started and gave up a few times.... but this time im not trying to radically change everything in one go. thats a mistake i made before. this time im taking baby steps. i spent a week just eating normally, but logging everything i ate. (as much as anything that was a big wake-up call for me) and then i set my calorie goal for maintaining my weight. once i was under that goal most of the time, i set my goal for losing 0.5lb a week and i plan to keep doing this until im comfortable with the changes ive made and able to stick to my goals consistently (but i no there will be the odd off-day and unexpected bbq lol)
    ive only lost 3lb so far but thats with very small changes that i no i wont struggle to maintain in the future. for example i still drink coke, but at most one can a day and i swap the others for natural fruit juice mixed with sparkling water or a cup of tea. ive swapped semi-skimmed milk for skimmed.

    its these kind of changes i recommend when your trying to make that first step because it'll feel like a great acheivement when you discover your still doing it 2 weeks later.

    oh and another suggestion: make healthier versions of the food you already love to eat.....but not the 'swap chocolate for a banana' kind of substitutions. I often try to sneak veg into thinkgs i wouldn't notice it in (i add grated carrot, spring oninon and lemon to rice) if you like bolognaise, make batches full of onions, peppers and mushrooms and tomato puree. or soups, use any veg you like and potato to thicken...will be really healthy, tasty and can be a lot cheaper than buying tins.

    hope this helps and good luck with your journey, that first little step is always the hardest, but once you've made it you won't want to stop.

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