I can't get motivated

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  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

    I can't say it any better than this. Motivation comes and goes. It's not what's going to get you through this. You need to decide that there is no other option, because really, there isn't. You need to lose the weight. Now, you just have to do it. It's not easy, and it's not fun, but you can't live your life 100+ pounds overweight. That's not a life, and whatever sort of life it is will be a short one.

    Once you get started, the pounds will start coming off, and they add up quickly. Before you know it, 50 pounds will be gone, and you'll be halfway to your goal. Seriously. We're talking a few months before you'll see a big number on your little MFP ticker. Those months are going to go by anyway. Make the most of them.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
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    The secret to successful weight loss is simple.

    Self-Love.

    Thats all the motivation you should need. Know that you are worthwhile and worthy of taking care of yourself.
  • bugtaylor
    bugtaylor Posts: 77 Member
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    AMEN sistah
  • CaHusker
    CaHusker Posts: 21
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    I can relate. I went through a tough 2012. After Gall bladder surgery I developed an infection inside me and the Doctors didn't discover it for 5 months. 5 months of pain (I lost 50 lbs during that time). Then a physical therapist performed a chiropractic move on my upper torso (He isn't a chiropractor!!) without telling me His intent and I received a compound fracture in my 9th and 10th vertebrae. ( No I didn't sue, I said as long as I recovered and could bowl and golf all would be cool) 12 weeks of antibiotics pumped into me via PICLine, 8 hours a day and the infection was gone, wore special brace and my vertebrae fused together. I slowly regained strength, gaining some weight, and then some more, and then the Holidays hit and I gained more to the point this past April that I was almost back to my very uncomfortable weight. Wasn't eating much, trying to exercise but no where near my past activity level. So my Doctor put me on a controlled weight loss plan. Look at my food diary from July. It ended 3 weeks ago and now I just follow the same plan with real foods. It taught me to eat at scheduled times throughout the day, eat proper foods, proper portions, and drink plenty of water, and of course exercise daily. I walk/jog/run 5 times per week and it gets easier every week. Logging everything on MyFitnessPal via my Iphone was the best thing that I could imagine. If you need help, friend me and I will help you keep motivated, friend others, we all need help
    Steve
  • Tobi1013
    Tobi1013 Posts: 732 Member
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    1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

    2. If you make the decision to start, commit, and finish what you started, then you can't allow yourself any excuses. Excuses are only an internal voice distracting you from your goal. Lose them. Find a way to make it happen.

    3. If you are gaining weight and do not have some kind of hormonal/metabollic disease, then more than likely, you are eating more than you think. Period. The only way to know for sure is to measure your food and log EVERYTHING.

    4. Want it more than anything else you want for yourself. If you have a husband who loves you no matter what, then that is all the more reason to do it for YOU. And that is all the support from him that you need. You are your own person responsible for your own decisions. You are strong and capable, and you don't need his OK or encouragement to be a better You.

    5. Educate yourself. Read. Research. Ask questions. Weed out the extremes, and apply what you've learned.

    6. Make little changes, and make them slowly. Don't try a complete lifestyle overhaul in one day. Make one little change that you can stick with. As that becomes habit, make another little change you can stick with. One day many weeks/months/years from now, you will wake up and realize how your life is completely different than it is now...and all for the better!

    7. Lift heavy weights. Your body will thank you for it, and you will fall in love with yourself.

    8. Set goals. ATTAINABLE goals. Working towards a goal makes this whole thing more than just about a number on the scale. It keeps you focused on something. Reaching goals is addictive, and you'll constantly be setting new ones, constantly working towards another achievement. ADDICTING, I tell you!!!!

    Get started. Now. Just do it. I would say "good luck," but it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with just making the decision to get it done.

    :flowerforyou:

    This is stated more perfectly than anything I could offer, so I'm just gonna...QFT.
  • OrionsBell
    OrionsBell Posts: 19
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    Hi. I'm new, so I can't really offer sage advice. But I can offer my support. In the few hours I have been here, I have already received very encouraging emails and comments from people. Believe me, that goes a long way towards putting your feet on a healthy path. My mind is focused on one thing, just for today, and that is making healthy choices. I am already drinking a huge glass of water and ate a very healthy breakfast - This time it was easy to say NO to my husband when he offered me cinnamon rolls - TWICE! ;) I tend to be an emotional eater, so, being here allows me to channel my emotions into something productive, and to put myself first for a change. The best thing I can say is start out small, and don't be afraid to exercise a little. You will find that it will get a little easier each time. You can do this... I didn't think I could either because I have no one in my life to support me in anything like this...but now I have the awesome people on this site going through the same shared experience. Good luck, and friend me if you want.
  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
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    My hubby said he liked me bigger, too. The bedroom aspect of the relationship did not diminish.

    However, he caresses me with his hands a lot more now. My tush gets swatted a lot more when I walk past him. He puffs up and stands closer to me when we are out in public.

    So, I guess you could say I did it all for the nookie. ;-)
  • abtsdiet
    abtsdiet Posts: 39 Member
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    Wow. First of all...thank you for sharing.

    Sweetie...be honest with yourself. Most people don't gain weight if they are eating well and exercising. Are you sure you're taking care of yourself? Really? It's easy for me to "lie" to myself and pretty soon I start to believe my lies. I think it's called denial.

    Anyway...if you really are gaining weight for no reason...find another doctor. Maybe you do have some type of medical condition. Keep trying.

    Again...thanks for sharing. I wish you all the best.
  • goalss4nika
    goalss4nika Posts: 529 Member
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    1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

    2. If you make the decision to start, commit, and finish what you started, then you can't allow yourself any excuses. Excuses are only an internal voice distracting you from your goal. Lose them. Find a way to make it happen.

    3. If you are gaining weight and do not have some kind of hormonal/metabollic disease, then more than likely, you are eating more than you think. Period. The only way to know for sure is to measure your food and log EVERYTHING.

    4. Want it more than anything else you want for yourself. If you have a husband who loves you no matter what, then that is all the more reason to do it for YOU. And that is all the support from him that you need. You are your own person responsible for your own decisions. You are strong and capable, and you don't need his OK or encouragement to be a better You.

    5. Educate yourself. Read. Research. Ask questions. Weed out the extremes, and apply what you've learned.

    6. Make little changes, and make them slowly. Don't try a complete lifestyle overhaul in one day. Make one little change that you can stick with. As that becomes habit, make another little change you can stick with. One day many weeks/months/years from now, you will wake up and realize how your life is completely different than it is now...and all for the better!

    7. Lift heavy weights. Your body will thank you for it, and you will fall in love with yourself.

    8. Set goals. ATTAINABLE goals. Working towards a goal makes this whole thing more than just about a number on the scale. It keeps you focused on something. Reaching goals is addictive, and you'll constantly be setting new ones, constantly working towards another achievement. ADDICTING, I tell you!!!!

    Get started. Now. Just do it. I would say "good luck," but it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with just making the decision to get it done.

    :flowerforyou:

    ^^^This!!!


    WOW! I needed this for myself :-) But you can do it. I am a mother of 2 as well and sometimes it just gets so hard, BUT I have joined a gym with daycare so no excuses for me. I wish you much success.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    34 yr old mother of 2. I really want to lose weight but I have trouble getting started. I think it's because I have so much to lose , in fact in the last 5 months I have actually gained 25 lbs. I haven't changed anything in my diet or exercise, if anything i have decreased my intake. I can't figure out what I am doing to cause the gain. I am 100+ pounds overweight. My doctors don't seem to want to figure out why...I feel annoyed. They only say diet and exercise. Duh! I know this, don't keep saying it...tell me why I am gaining when I am obviously trying to...I have cut calories substantially and I am trying to excercise, I have gained so much that I become winded easily. I sound whiny I know..I know I am morbidly obese if I don't do something I am not going to be around too long. I live away from my family and friends and don't really know people here well enough to have any support system. Sad to say this but my husband as sweet as he sounds saying it loves me no matter what and has said frequently he dont like skinny..so home support is not there either..what can I do to get motivated when it seems I just keep failing?

    I'm assuming since you have been to doctors that there is nothing medically wrong with you, like a thyroid problem. This would show up in a blood test, which I'm assuming you had.

    If you are healthy and you are gaining weight, it's because you are eating a calorie surplus. It's as simple as that.

    The very first thing you should do, and it requires no motivation or special effort at all, is to start logging your food here.

    And that means honestly tracking your food.

    The biggest benefit I get from this web site, and it sustains my motivation, is to have an active friend list. Also, I have set up MFP to post my updates to my facebook page. This way, I know people are watching me. Also, when people "like" my progress or comment on it, these "attaboys" keep me going.

    I recommend you read through the forums and click on the profiles of people that inspire you or are in a similar situation to you. I like to pick friends who are my age who are in great shape. They amaze me. I look at them and think, "Wow, I want to be like them! I want to be 45 and have people look at me and think, "I want to date that person so hard! " (that's a joke - I'm married).

    My friends are my biggest inspiration and motivation.

    Also trust me that when I say that though your husband may be nice and saying things like "Oh, I don't like skinny women" trust me, he won't kick you out of bed if you turn into a supermodel.
  • Bekahmardis
    Bekahmardis Posts: 602 Member
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    I look at them and think, "Wow, I want to be like them! I want to be 45 and have people look at me and think, "I want to date that person so hard! " (that's a joke - I'm married).

    Doesn't matter if you're married or not - it's still nice to have someone think that of you, isn't it? *big grin*
  • dunge0n
    dunge0n Posts: 29 Member
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    34 yr old mother of 2. I really want to lose weight but I have trouble getting started. I think it's because I have so much to lose , in fact in the last 5 months I have actually gained 25 lbs. I haven't changed anything in my diet or exercise, if anything i have decreased my intake. I can't figure out what I am doing to cause the gain. I am 100+ pounds overweight. My doctors don't seem to want to figure out why...I feel annoyed. They only say diet and exercise. Duh! I know this, don't keep saying it...tell me why I am gaining when I am obviously trying to...I have cut calories substantially and I am trying to excercise, I have gained so much that I become winded easily. I sound whiny I know..I know I am morbidly obese if I don't do something I am not going to be around too long. I live away from my family and friends and don't really know people here well enough to have any support system. Sad to say this but my husband as sweet as he sounds saying it loves me no matter what and has said frequently he dont like skinny..so home support is not there either..what can I do to get motivated when it seems I just keep failing?

    I am in the same boat as you. I keep losing track. Thankfully I haven't gained any. I have now stopped thinking about the end goal. I gave myself a goal of losing 10lbs by halloween. That's 2 month and since I am obese it should come off in 2 months easy. If and when I accomplish that, my next goal is to lost another 10lbs by the end of the year. The other thing I did was to hide my scale. that thing was making me depressed. I took measurements and I would recommend taking weekly pictures. Hope this helps. I will take the scale out on halloween and hopefully scare myself in a good way! :) I am also going to rely on my clothes to see how they fit. My other goal is to fit comfortably in a size 18 pants by then. Right now I can barely button one up. Point is small changes, small goals.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    Doesn't matter if you're married or not - it's still nice to have someone think that of you, isn't it? *big grin*

    Watch out I'm going to start flipping through your pictures again! :)
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    I recently read a book called "Wheat Belly". Its a real eye opener as far as how wheat has been genetically altered over the years and one of the MANY things it causes is for your appetite to be out of control.

    Really? That's the best advice you could come up with for someone who says they need motivation? Of all the things!

    no need to be rude. would you say that if this person were standing in front of you? ...something to think about maybe.

    And pointing out that YOU thought she was rude is what? Not rude? It's the internet, things can be perceived different ways and she's dead on with what she said. That wasn't even what the OP was asking for.
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    Motivation can be the hardest thing...... I can only say what has worked for me.....

    Surround yourself with LOTS of friends on MFP, and weed out those you don't find helpful
    Get the MFP app on your phone
    If you eat it, log it!
    If you exercise it, log it!
    Set small goals, even if it is to walk for 5 minutes a day or to lose 1/2lb a day or give up regular soda for diet soda.
    Use your friends for help and advice
    Tackle one issue at a time
    Remember that by not doing anything, you are deciding to fail - yes it is obvious, but often gets ignored

    Lastly, do it for yourself and ENJOY it! This is not a diet, it is a change in lifestyle and if you don't enjoy it then you have failed before you start!
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    You gotta want losing weight MORE than the pleasure of food that is only temporary.
  • MFitzRN
    MFitzRN Posts: 4
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    Thank you, makes a lot sense. I just never thought about things that way=)
  • MFitzRN
    MFitzRN Posts: 4
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    Thank you, your posts are really encouraging. I appreciate it very much.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    Thank you, your posts are really encouraging. I appreciate it very much.

    :) You know what else is so fabulous? When you start to see progress on your own, and that you finally did it!

    totally worth it! that old food you laid aside does not taste as good as accomplishment :)

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