Difficulty taking advice from girlfriend on weight loss

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  • annakow
    annakow Posts: 385 Member
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    She needs help. serious one..get a counselling for her
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Your profile suggests that your OH is in the same boat as you weight wise and she's 10 years older with 2 kids.

    Do you think her anxiety might stem from a combination of her not being ready to address her own issues, plus being very insecure and worried to lose you?

    I agree you (she) needs help.

    It's pretty selfish to prefer you stay overweight and unhealthy just so that she doesn't get herself into a state.
  • JaxDemon
    JaxDemon Posts: 403 Member
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    Not sure I could live with such a negative person so I would leave tbh.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I don't know your girlfriend personally, but it sounds like she may be insecure about you leaving her once you lose all of the weight.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    This is probably going to sound awful, but how could you truly love and care about someone and NOT want them to become healthy and extend their life? She sounds unbelievably selfish, insecure, and immature. Why in God's name do you put up with it?
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    Your weight loss is your problem not hers, perhaps it'd be better to just take it on on your own rather than count on her support?
  • emilycarr71404
    emilycarr71404 Posts: 176 Member
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    Sounds like you need a better girlfriend! It doesn't sound like you have an equal relationship with her. I'm sure that she can depend on you to be there for her but not the other way around. Do you really want to be with someone who you have to baby so much?

    I couldn't be successful with this lifestyle change if my husband wasn't my biggest supporter. But on the other hand, I want to say that I think it is great that you are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself regardless of what your gf is doing. You need it for you.
  • pspenc90
    pspenc90 Posts: 15 Member
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    So I read in your profile that your girlfriend is in the same boat as you weight wise and older than you with two kids. She probably feels that if you lose weight you will leave her. Try reassuring her that you are sticking around no matter what. Try suggesting that you two work together to create a healthier lifestyle.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    time to get a new chick
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Keep in mind unless she has read up about things, she is potentially also spouting girl-science

    tumblr_mboooqE7RG1qzlt66_zps24be9f3e.gif
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Your current mistrust is based on your previous interactions, and there is nothing wrong with that. If it is reasonable for her to have an expectation that you "get" her change of heart, she also has an obligation to understand and accept why you're having a tough time hearing these things.

    Communication, in both directions, is key.

    Personally, the "eat nice things" bit sounds a bit dubious, to be totally honest....
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Relationships can be tough. Personally? I recommend counseling for BOTH of you. Together and separately.

    Congratulations to on your determination to get healthy! :drinker:
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Dump her. You deserve support.
  • Brige2269
    Brige2269 Posts: 354 Member
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    My hubby use to say, "come on, one piece, or one bit or one pizza, or one donut, won't hurt you". I had stopped talking to him about my diet and exercise. Now he is use to it, but I still get eye rolls every now and then. Especially, when I started logging here on MFP.
  • jayrudq
    jayrudq Posts: 475 Member
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    Relationships are difficult and we ALL bring baggage to them. Dumping someone who you care about because of that is probably not the most practical answer. Examining how you feel and your own motivations to stay in this relationship may be a good idea.
    You cannot control your girlfriend or her actions. You can only control what you do. And how your respond. You sound like you have not resolved her being unable to support you and being at times, downright mean about your weight loss efforts. While she may be contrite, you doubt her sincerity. I am sorry, but only you can judge if she truly means it or not. And my guess is, this is a process for her, not a switch she can turn on and off.

    Do you want to continue in this relationship? If so, can you forgive her and move on? And that does not mean not holding her accountable for her end of the bargain. I would discuss it with her and let her know that you not only want, but need the space to give her meaningful feedback when you don't feel supported and she needs to accept that feedback from you.

    I wish you the very best of luck. I hope you can resolve this.
    '
  • LavenderBouquet
    LavenderBouquet Posts: 736 Member
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    Keep in mind unless she has read up about things, she is potentially also spouting girl-science

    :huh:

    I'm gonna pretend I didn't read that.

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