Stupid-face gym people

The rules of this board won't let me use the words I'd like to... but I want to vent about tonight's gym experience. Hopefully you can relate.

So, the wife and I are using one of the squat racks, just starting our sets. There is an older but obviously very dedicated man next to us. He's half my size but lifting twice the weight I currently am. Impressive. He's quietly getting his work done. I tell my wife to watch him for pointers on proper form. So far, so good. Then, in walks a couple of feminine hygiene products. You know the type, early 20s, crooked/tilted hats, tank tops to bro off, I mean show off their muscles. Talking very loudly about inane crap that nobody cares about but them... One approaches the older man "how many sets you got, bro?" There's an open rack right next to him. No need to break this man's concentration... he replies calmly "quite a few"

The conversation can be heard throughout most of the spacious gym, even though they are 5 feet from each other. "Dude, you gotta get you a naturally aspirated v8, not some Honda ****. Chicks like fast they don't care how cheap..." etc etc. "Man I *wish* that dude had done it in front of me, I'd be like..." ugh. STFU... I'm trying to focus on my own workout and help instruct my wife with hers. "going for a nice set of 20 here, bro. push it man, do it! nice bro, nice"

On to the bench, and now we're even closer to them. They've moved on to some odd looking leg lifts machine, and one is "spotting" the other. He's counting the other guy's reps out loud. very loud. "20, 21, c'mon bro that's it. 23. 24. 25. ok my turn let's do this". I sit up for a quick rest between sets and catch the eye of another man nearby. We exchange knowing, frustrated looks. Back to my next set and he's at it again. "10. 11. 12" grrr... I'm pushing a new weight for me (at least new for this decade), and the distraction is getting to me. I wait for him to finish: "24! 25!" OK, now I can get back to work. I get one rep in and "YEAH BRO!" nearly makes me drop the bar. My wife is actually stifling a laugh over that one. Moreso at how ridiculous they sound than my near failure to hold the bar up. At least I hope that's true. I finish my sets with a bit of renewed vigor. My adrenaline is pumping a bit more so I finish them more easily than I probably could have normally... maybe these idiots actually helped me. I'd rather do it without any perceived help, though.

After the bench sets I decided to try and find an open lat machine before we head over to deadlift. Just to get away from these punks. All machines are taken. We wander back towards where we really need to be and find them flexing their sweet pumps in the mirror. *sigh*... at least they appear to be done with their 15 minutes of work. We knock out our deadlift sets and head for the door. I somehow resist the urge to say something to gym management. Not sure what I would have said, anyway.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to open a gym with a strict no-bro policy. I'll even hire some retired offensive linemen to be bouncers. This crap has got to stop... it's as bad as talking in a movie theater. What gives these morons the right to disturb the workouts of others with their nonsense? Ugh... Am I alone in this? Surely someone else has a gymbro story to share. Let's have em

I wake up way to early for the bros to be at the gym at the same time as me so in really thankful for that. I just have two other sets of really annoying people at mine.

1. The female not so lifters invading the free weight area. Now, I'm not talking about the women that actually come to te free weights to get their **** done. Im talking about the ones that will come over and for example walk in between the benches while you are working. Like trying to finish sets of dumbell press and almost drop it on my face as I see this massive *kitten* come inches away from my hand whike its going up. Only to finish the set to see her doing air squats with no weights less than a foot in front of my bench. Or yesterday one set a yoga mat in between two bench presses. I couldn't believe my eyes when she did that. What the hell are you thinking? Do you really want your face crushed in? There's an ENTIRE separate room for the **** you are doing. I've contemplated several times just letting a dumbell off to the side as a warning shot.

I do enjoy the female lifters though but I'm not the creepy guy who stares. And yeah, if you have a nice *kitten* then feel free to do air squats inches away from me but please make sure I'm between sets for the eye candy.

2. The jerk offs that set up an entire crossfit circuit across half the gym. Not only do they always end up hogging a crap ton of stuff at once, it can throw you off as you see some *kitten* sprint by you out of nowhere when your lifting. Not to mention I've seen someone's foot almost explode as a gym crossfit ter not a crossfit gym almost drop a weight she had no business lifting on someone foot as she did this thing that somehow was suppossed to be farmers walks.

I plug music into my skull so as I'm not assaulted aurally by the toxic saccharine "music" at my gym. You might also find it useful in blocking out the vapid conversations from the jersey shore escapees in your gym.
Wishing you all the best,

Ben

It's a valid point, but I need to be able to hear and talk to my wife, since she needs help with form, etc. She's a freeweights newbie and while she's picking it up fast, I don't want her to get hurt.

The real question is: how do we get jersey shore to take them back?