How has losing weight affected you emotionally?

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Being fat has made me such a different person. When I was thinner I was more confident and didn't worry so much. Being the weight I've been all these years I've developed anxiety and depression and a just horribly distorted negative self image of myself. Not saying all my problems will be cured when I lose the damn weight, but having one less thing to worry about will help a hell of a lot. I think about my weight way too much. I'm always worried about how people perceive me just based on looking at me, fat people clothes are never as awesome as skinny people clothes and I'm always thinking about pulling up my pants or what angle someone is looking at me from because "oh no. They'll see my double chin or my stomach sticking out!" To not even think about all this would be a huge weight off my shoulders. I look back...and I'm barely in any pictures with my daughter all because of how ashamed I was of being fat. That one thing alone affects me so much. It motivates me to keep going.

So for those that have lost the weight, how do you feel? Was there a light at the end of the tunnel?
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Replies

  • helenrosemay
    helenrosemay Posts: 375 Member
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    I've come to realise that the people who matter to me and care about me are not going to judge me on my weight and those that do judge me on my size are strangers I'll never see again so who cares what they think. People are always going to judge you, if not on your size then something else.
  • igotabulletproofheart
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    This is the third, and I'm hoping final time, I'm losing weight as I've suffered bullimia (2012) and binge eating disorder (earlier this year) and gained some of the weight back each time. Because I've had body dysmorphia since I was about 11 years old, losing weight has given me a different feeling each time because each time I used different methods but all in all, it has made me happyish.

    What I've come to understand is that because we're such a superficial, materialistic race who are also so overly concerned with aestheticism we relate our aesthetic selves to our emotional selves whereas the two shouldn't be synonymous.I say I'm hoping this is the third and final time I'm losing weight because I'm taking a completely different approach than I have ever done and focussing on the aspects such as my mental and emotional states on top of the weight. I've been doing yoga and also I'm not seeing results as fast as I used to, I've noticed that I'm so much calmer and I have a more serene state of mind as opposed to all those times in my past. I'm even feeling a feeling similar to happiness which I thought I'd never be able to feel as I've been suffering pretty severe depression for some years and only got diagnosed earlier this year.

    tl;dr what I'm not allowing is my weight to be the cause of my happiness. I've suffered too much and felt too much to let this happen once again. this time round i'm getting into the state of mind where losing weight will be secondary to a permanently healthy lifestyle.
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
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    I think MrM sums it up for me as well. The better I look, the better I think I get treating. It may not be true, but it seems that way. I don't think I can be arrogant as I will always be a fat guy on the inside, but I can look good doing it ;)
  • russellbrand69
    russellbrand69 Posts: 132 Member
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    I find I worry less, about pretty much everything.
    For example - I had to get a wisdom tooth out yesterday, in the dentist's chair. I found out a week before that I needed this procedure.
    Previously, I would have worried about this for the entire week - just constantly rolling it over in my head, thinking about what it'll be like, and how it will feel. I would have worried about it walking around, in bed, in work.
    Now - I didn't even think about it, I just accepted it, thought "it'll be grand I'm sure" - and it was. It didn't hurt, I wasn't scared, it was over in a flash.
    I think losing weight has made me much more emotionally stable. I don't know if its the confidence gained from succeeding at something difficult, or my body's chemistry being altered by the addition of exercise to my life, or the detoxing effect of cutting alcohol drastically, or any other of the changes I've made to my diet and behaviour but I am much, much happier.

    Oh and my house is spotless, chores are always done, there's always groceries - I am much, much less lazy these days.
  • tavinsmom
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    I still have a long way to go, but just with what I've lost I feel more confident. I do think fat people tend to be invisible. I've felt that way for 10 years now! It sucks, but people do treat you differently.
  • Raiden091
    Raiden091 Posts: 19 Member
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    OP, I am almost identical to what you are describing. After putting on 50 pounds I have anxiety and depression and my primary motivation is really not looking better but feeling better. Looking better will be a consolation prize.
  • 302cupcake
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    There is light at the end of the tunnel - even if the real hard work is just starting. I am more confident but I know from past experience that I will need to stay completely focused to keep the weight from sneaking back on.

    It helps that I have a very supportive spouse and two nearly grown sons who tell me that they see how much happier I am now and that makes them happier. It also helps that a recent move has put us in a neighborhood where no one knew the fat me - our new neighbors think I was always fit and slender. What is a bit harder to deal with are the people that have known me for years and are shocked at the changes - some of that attention has a bit of a bite to it.

    I will be seeing the doctor who motivated me to stick with this and get healthy soon and then I will see my PCP who told me to pick a goal weight 25 pounds higher than my current weight because she didn't think I could keep losing.

    I too wish I had allowed my photo to be taken more, but being in photos now does reinforce my new mindset about myself.
  • Anita_hoar12345
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    I'm the same way about my fat I hate walking in malls where the mirrors are. I always feel like people are eyeballing me in public and I freak out before going places. When I was thinner I didn't care
  • 302cupcake
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    Oh and my house is spotless, chores are always done, there's always groceries - I am much, much less lazy these days.

    Agreed - I feel like I can handle the busy with a lot of energy to spare and our household is so much less stressed.
  • txguard61
    txguard61 Posts: 51 Member
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    I am more confident and women talk to me like I am not invisible anymore :-)
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    I don't take as much crap off people.
  • stephiehampshire
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    My weight gain was due to my emotions rather than me getting down because of my weigh gain (after a year of a illness scare and bad news and things going wrong I was made redundant) I was eating alot of my emotions

    I decided that I needed something to control in my life and so decided to get back into shape and start exercising again

    This was 3 weeks ago so I havent lose the weight yet however I have immediately become more positive and started to see the positives in life

    I take pictures of the things I see on my cycle routes or a pretty sunset, I count the animals that I see and I get excitment from finding new paths to try out and finding where they go

    I am less stressed, less worried and happier now
  • cindyhoney2
    cindyhoney2 Posts: 603 Member
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    I was on Bi-polar meds since 2005 (I was misdiagnosed, I should have been diagnosed as 'fat & unhappy' because I have since lost 90 lbs and I am no longer on the anti-psych meds. I have a wonderful outlook on life and look forward instead of backwards. My resting pulse has dropped from the 90's to the 50's, so yeah, I'd say it has effected me in many different ways...all positive!
  • supineny1
    supineny1 Posts: 1 Member
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    it contributes some moments of pride and vanity here and there. Are those emotions? They're not rational, so perhaps they count.

    But this seems like a leading question, and the anticipated answer is, "I feel happier now." And, in some small way, I am. It was a goal. I made it. But now I'm in the slightly uncertain period where i'm seeing if I can really keep it off. Where I remember that losing weight can be a transitory experience. You can hit that goal weight and fit into those skinny pants. But then some of the weight comes back and you're back to normal. And the goal weight is remembered like a pleasant country you visited and plan to return to. But you can't live there.

    so...I'm trying to, ah, stay happy for awhile...
  • fatfudgery
    fatfudgery Posts: 449 Member
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    A fit person gets treated so different as opposed to the guy who needs to lose 70 lbs.

    Quoted for truth. This has been one of the most amusing/disturbing things I've found about losing weight. Sure, your close family and friends don't generally judge you based on your weight, but I feel like every interaction with strangers or casual acquaintances is so much different now.
  • 60x60
    60x60 Posts: 75 Member
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    As I approach a milestone birthday, I have been reviewing old photos. I am delighted that in the pictures, I radiate the happiness that I felt and feel being part of such large network of family and friends. Weight is not a factor in that aspect of my happiness. However, I will say that my energy level since losing weight and building in activity/exercise has increased my ability to be active and do more. I feel like a more active life participant than I was in my forties and early fifties. It is amazing and wonderful, but has nothing to do with my reflection in the glass or the reflection of me in the eyes of strangers and casual acquaintances.
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
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    At 56 years old whenever I walk in a room with people even close to my age, I know I am the fittest person in the room.
  • tanyadolan1
    tanyadolan1 Posts: 55 Member
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    'I've come to realise that the people who matter to me and care about me are not going to judge me on my weight and those that do judge me on my size are strangers I'll never see again so who cares what they think. People are always going to judge you, if not on your size then something else.'

    Well said...I totally agree
  • tiffastar
    tiffastar Posts: 46 Member
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    For me, I was always a "big girl" and was okay emotionally with that. When I lost the weight, I thought I would be happier and in some ways I am. On the other front, it brought a lot more opposite sex attention I wasn't really prepared for which would have been fine but I am married so not so great :) Plus, you realize that they just want you for sex and not becuase you are (and have always been) funny, awesome and overall a cool-*kitten* person. That brought me down too. Plus the negative attention from my female friends who acted as though my losing weight was to purposely spite them.

    Focusing on positive though, keeping up with my kids, hearing my husband brag about me (even more!), having family support me is wonderful. Challenging myself to be creative with recipes, eating healthier food and exercising bring me joy as well. Plus, I look better in clothes for sure.

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