Afraid of eating in front of people. Am I the only one?

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fangmouse
fangmouse Posts: 119
in Food and Nutrition
I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".

Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
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Replies

  • athenasurrenders
    athenasurrenders Posts: 278 Member
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    First off I don't tell people that I'm dieting, which avoids many of the comments.

    But just practice smiling and ignoring it. Just say 'It's delicious, would you like a taste?' and not respond to comments about how many calories are in things. If they persist after you ignore it, say something like 'oh I thought you were joking, it's kinda rude to tell me what to eat'.
  • fangmouse
    fangmouse Posts: 119
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    Just an add on to my post: Sometimes, I get so scared that I even hide in the toilet or in my room to eat. And when I say eat, I mean eating healthy portions of food, not like how a binge eater would do it, hiding and eating a bunch of food at one go. I simply take the food that I plan to eat to my room and hide and eat it.
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I have an obese friend like this - doesn't want to be seen eating "there's that fatty stuffing herself" is the dialogue in her head.

    It's probably the only place it exists, so some form of counselling or hypnotherapy might be called for.
  • expoduck
    expoduck Posts: 59
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    I know exactly what you mean. I feel like people will judge me. :(

    Worse still, I feel like I deserve to be judged.
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean. I feel like people will judge me. :(

    Worse still, I feel like I deserve to be judged.

    OP, there are some things I want you to think about:

    1. You are invisible to most people, who are typically too busy thinking about their own lives (and what they themselves are eating) to spend more than a passing thought, if that, on you. I'm not saying this to be harsh, but to reassure you: you are just not that important to the general populace. Take comfort in that.

    2. If they do spare a moment to judge you, what they actually think says more about them than you. You never know, they might be thinking, "good for them, i wish I had the willpower to start losing weight". It's a sad fact of life that there could be one person in any crowd who's a bit of a pr@ck; are you really willing to give that person the power over you to make you live your life in fear, especially if that person is a figment of your imagination?

    3. I would ask you if you worry about this because YOU judge people for what they eat? If not, why would you think other people do it to you? However, if you do, then you are likely projecting your own behaviours onto the people around you.

    4. Even if you've had a bad experience where someone has said something to you, I promise you it's the exception rather than the rule.


    Life is not high school. Stop living your life based on what the mean kids might say about you. The mean kids are the ones with the attitude problem, not you. If, like expoduck, you believe you deserve to be judged, then please talk to a pro, because YOU ARE WRONG. Keep eating healthy and never be ashamed of taking control over your life.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".

    Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?

    Never tell people you are losing weight, just continue what you are doing and ignore them. It sounds to me as if it is THEY that are obsessed with calories and diets, not you.

    I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied

    "I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.

    People who continually comment are usually those that have never tried to lose weight or do not understand nutrition at all.

    In answer to your question, no, I am not afraid of eating in front of people any more than I would expect them to be scared of eating in front of me xxx
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
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    I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".

    Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?



    I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied

    "I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.


    This is why you are on my friends list :laugh:
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
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    This isn't normal behaviour. I would suggest speaking to someone about this.
  • LeanneGoingThin
    LeanneGoingThin Posts: 215 Member
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    It's a form of social anxiety. I also suggest you talk to someone about this, because it's complicating to your life if you can't eat in front of other people.
  • fitbulky
    fitbulky Posts: 75
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    Before I used to think about everyone else and what they thought of me but now I only lift weights and eat better so that I can love myself.After all it is my body and I don't want to get bogged down by spiteful people.
  • mytabouly
    mytabouly Posts: 66 Member
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    Gosh I wish I was scared of eating in front of people... Maybe then I wouldn't eat so much o.O
  • shannashannabobana
    shannashannabobana Posts: 625 Member
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    I have an obese friend like this - doesn't want to be seen eating "there's that fatty stuffing herself" is the dialogue in her head.

    It's probably the only place it exists    , so some form of counselling or hypnotherapy might be called for.
    Completely agree with this. I think most people are judging themselves, more than others are judging them. If others are judging you, they are probably going to be judging anything and everything, whether you are fat/thin or eating a salad or dessert. So don't let it bother you and if you find that it is so much of a problem that you want to hide, I agree therapy might be a good idea.

    Is there something you can do to make yourself not think about this? Maybe going to lunch with a friend or taking walks outside to clear your head. IDK.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".

    Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?

    Never tell people you are losing weight, just continue what you are doing and ignore them. It sounds to me as if it is THEY that are obsessed with calories and diets, not you.

    I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied

    "I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.

    People who continually comment are usually those that have never tried to lose weight or do not understand nutrition at all.

    In answer to your question, no, I am not afraid of eating in front of people any more than I would expect them to be scared of eating in front of me xxx

    this is great. good for you- and spot on about people not having to have struggled with it. (Note- I love people who tell me "oh I thought you were cutting- why are you eating X, Y, Z?" sigh- you don't know anything do you.

    I also tell people... I'm not asking you to eat it- or go on a diet with me- so why do you care so much.

    Really- the thoughts other people think are fleeting at best when they happen.

    I'll be completely candid and honest- The ONLY time I truly think anything along those lines (and I have) is when I see really over weight people- eating a crap load of food- usually at like IHOP or denny's or cracker barrel or any buffet type place. That's the only time I think it- when I see THREE days worth of my food- on ONE plate of theirs... then I think daayum.

    And it's not often and it's very fleeting- but that's it. Otherwise- I don't give a crap what you eat- as noted YOU STILL HAVE TO EAT.

    I mostly just care about my food and my coffee- and my companion- friend or bf whatever.
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I try not to care what people think of me (unless its good of course). I'm not sure what I would do if someone actually said something to me. Probably "I don't criticize what you eat, do I? *pointed stare*"

    ETA: Your progress will speak for itself. Just stick with it!
  • JustineMarie21
    JustineMarie21 Posts: 438 Member
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    I eat infront of people but I really don't like it because I have a fear of food getting stuck to my face then poeple say'' you have.... on your face still'' or if its stuck in my teeth lol Plus I don't know if I eat weird or not.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".

    Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?



    I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied

    "I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.


    This is why you are on my friends list :laugh:

    hahaha :drinker:
  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
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    The way I see it there are 3 kinds of business, and if you are in somebody else's you are neglecting your own.

    There is your business ... The stuff you can influence directly ...your actions, your decisions, your spontaneous thinking and how you react to those thoughts.

    There is their business ... What somebody else does/thinks, you have no influence on it. No point in trying to control it.

    There is the universe/God/whoever's business ... Stuff that just is. The world is in constant flux, we have no control of this either.

    I prefer to live in my business, get it straight as I see it and let everyone else do/think what they may.
  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
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    The way I see it there are 3 kinds of business, and if you are in somebody else's you are neglecting your own.

    There is your business ... The stuff you can influence directly ...your actions, your decisions, your spontaneous thinking and how you react to those thoughts.

    There is their business ... What somebody else does/thinks, you have no influence on it. No point in trying to control it.

    There is the universe/God/whoever's business ... Stuff that just is. The world is in constant flux, we have no control of this either.

    I prefer to live in my business, get it straight as I see it and let everyone else do/think what they may.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    This isn't normal behaviour. I would suggest speaking to someone about this.

    YEP
  • rwstoneman1
    rwstoneman1 Posts: 32 Member
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    My ex-bf used to be like this - you certainly aren't alone. He went to see someone professional about it and it took time but he's much better now than he used to be! Don't worry, and don't let it make you feel isolated - there is always someone you can find to help! :)

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