Family being unsupportive of my weight loss

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Karrie85
Karrie85 Posts: 20 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My dr and I have discussed my medical issues and it was agreed that losing +40lbs would be beneficial towards my health and reduce my risk of diabetes. I was referred to a weight loss clinic which is covered by our insurance and government health insurance. Yes, I am a lot of smaller in size than most of the other patients there but everyone has different circumstances.

A few family members somehow disagree with this decision. I don't get it. I've been getting " you aren't fat..you don't need to lose weight" " why would you want to do that??" "diets are stupid, I don't get why you are unhappy with your body"

I replied that my fat pants are getting too tight.. their answer was to go buy a bigger size.. and no they were not joking.

I'm trying to ignore it but its starting to bother me. Are they jealous? or trying to be supportive with my current weight?
My dh is very supportive and has been doing it with me..as is the entire immediate family. my kids have already started to complain about the lack of mac and cheese in the house. (they still have their dairy and carbs of course)

If I lose 40lbs, I will be down to my pre-baby weight for baby #2. it would be another 25 to get to pre baby #1 weight.

Replies

  • jadethief
    jadethief Posts: 266 Member
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    Don't discuss your weight loss plans and goals with anybody that isn't necessary. You'll avoid alot of the drama.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    Don't discuss your weight loss plans and goals with anybody that isn't necessary. You'll avoid alot of the drama.
    Exactly this. I keep it to myself, don't post it on facebook and only discuss it if someone questions my weight loss or something. Some people take your changes as an insult to their lifestyle and get strangely defensive over it.
  • MsWallwoman
    MsWallwoman Posts: 161
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    Maybe talk about your changes as a healthy life style change instead of "losing weight" or "dieting" as these can be scary things to hear from a loved one. Your family probably just wants to be accepting and supportive and doesn't know how to. There is so much hype out there about accepting yourself, embracing your curves, fighting anorexia and the "skinny". (Which is great, but like everything, but means different things to different people.). With all of the hype out there, we are all being flooded with nightmare information and fears are being fed. Maybe your family members are speaking from their own personal fears and projecting. Maybe they are afraid of you proving that this can be done and they also need to make changes. Maybe they are afraid of being left behind so to say. Our subconscious can be strange and get a bit mixed up with fears some times. If you discuss your new healthy choices, your clean eating, your training, talk about it as a positive. Talk about how good you feel and avoid any words or labels that have a negative vibe about them. It will be easier for others around you to see what you are doing in a positive light and it will also help you make the transition in your life. :)

    What is most important is YOU and how you feel and your reasons. Think positive. If you truly want this, do it. YOU are the only one in charge of your life and the choices you make. Choose to be healthy, choose to put your health and your goals as a priority. Your friends and family will either support or not. Hold on the the positive things/people in your life and let go of the negative. This is YOUR life, live it.

    Good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best. You can do this, no matter who or what stands in your way. No excuses. Break down the barriers and keep moving forward towards your goal. You CAN do it. :flowerforyou:
  • kwilson18
    kwilson18 Posts: 42 Member
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    I use the doctor as an excuse- I say "my cholesterol is high and because I had gestational diabetes, my risk of developing type 2 diabetes is 30% if I am not overweight, and much higher if I get overweight. So my doctor has recommended that I lose weight to reduce that risk". That usually shuts them up.
  • Ignaura
    Ignaura Posts: 203 Member
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    Don't talk about it with people who won't support you, even if that means not talking about it with your own family. losing weight can a very difficult journey, the last thing you need now is people around you trying to bring you down.
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
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    Let your results do the talking and as some would say, haters gonna hate.

    Aren't you glad you and your husband are making this change now that will filter down to your children which will set them up for a healthy lifestyle?

    Also, props to your husband for stepping up and making this journey with you.
  • Jaimie6171
    Jaimie6171 Posts: 37 Member
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    Maybe talk about your changes as a healthy life style change instead of "losing weight" or "dieting" as these can be scary things to hear from a loved one. Your family probably just wants to be accepting and supportive and doesn't know how to. There is so much hype out there about accepting yourself, embracing your curves, fighting anorexia and the "skinny". (Which is great, but like everything, but means different things to different people.). With all of the hype out there, we are all being flooded with nightmare information and fears are being fed. Maybe your family members are speaking from their own personal fears and projecting. Maybe they are afraid of you proving that this can be done and they also need to make changes. Maybe they are afraid of being left behind so to say. Our subconscious can be strange and get a bit mixed up with fears some times. If you discuss your new healthy choices, your clean eating, your training, talk about it as a positive. Talk about how good you feel and avoid any words or labels that have a negative vibe about them. It will be easier for others around you to see what you are doing in a positive light and it will also help you make the transition in your life. :)

    What is most important is YOU and how you feel and your reasons. Think positive. If you truly want this, do it. YOU are the only one in charge of your life and the choices you make. Choose to be healthy, choose to put your health and your goals as a priority. Your friends and family will either support or not. Hold on the the positive things/people in your life and let go of the negative. This is YOUR life, live it.

    Good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best. You can do this, no matter who or what stands in your way. No excuses. Break down the barriers and keep moving forward towards your goal. You CAN do it. :flowerforyou:

    ^^ This!

    Don't talk about loosing weight talk about how this is HEALTHY and a suggestion from your DOCTOR!
  • Karrie85
    Karrie85 Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    Maybe talk about your changes as a healthy life style change instead of "losing weight" or "dieting" as these can be scary things to hear from a loved one. Your family probably just wants to be accepting and supportive and doesn't know how to. There is so much hype out there about accepting yourself, embracing your curves, fighting anorexia and the "skinny". (Which is great, but like everything, but means different things to different people.). With all of the hype out there, we are all being flooded with nightmare information and fears are being fed. Maybe your family members are speaking from their own personal fears and projecting. Maybe they are afraid of you proving that this can be done and they also need to make changes. Maybe they are afraid of being left behind so to say. Our subconscious can be strange and get a bit mixed up with fears some times. If you discuss your new healthy choices, your clean eating, your training, talk about it as a positive. Talk about how good you feel and avoid any words or labels that have a negative vibe about them. It will be easier for others around you to see what you are doing in a positive light and it will also help you make the transition in your life. :)

    What is most important is YOU and how you feel and your reasons. Think positive. If you truly want this, do it. YOU are the only one in charge of your life and the choices you make. Choose to be healthy, choose to put your health and your goals as a priority. Your friends and family will either support or not. Hold on the the positive things/people in your life and let go of the negative. This is YOUR life, live it.

    Good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best. You can do this, no matter who or what stands in your way. No excuses. Break down the barriers and keep moving forward towards your goal. You CAN do it. :flowerforyou:
  • tricksee
    tricksee Posts: 835 Member
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    phuck em...
  • Karrie85
    Karrie85 Posts: 20 Member
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    Thanks for the support and advice!!

    It really is a healthy lifestyle I am pursuing and not just weight loss.

    Day 3 and finally feeling better! Woke up with energy for once.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    It can be disappointing when the ones we care about seem unsupportive when we try to make positive changes. But this is your journey, and not everyone can go with you.

    I honestly think when people try to make changes, one of two things happens:

    1. Everyone else freaks out because change is difficult and requires more energy and consciousness and they don't like it.
    Or
    2. They freak out because it causes them to evaluate THEIR life, health, choices and they aren't ready to see themselves in a negative light.

    Perhaps they don't know how to support you, but usually I think it's one of the two stated above. Continue on. They'll either get on board or at least shut up about it eventually (though this make take months or a couple of years).

    Good for you for making a positive change :)

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