Non-Food Coping Mechanisms and Rewards - Halp?

Raevyns
Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have some deeply-ingrained habits that are quite common, but desperately need changing.

Like many I grew up in a culture where treats and rewards were food. Good grades equaled ice cream, a good concert was a dinner out. Along the same lines, food was set as a coping mechanism. A hard day was rewarded with tea and my favorite cookies, or a whole bottle of soda.

Unsurprisingly, these are still my methods of self-soothing and self-rewarding, even though I'm no longer a puckish little thing. (Well, I might still be puckish, but I'm not little!)

When I'm wracked with stress and decision fatigue I grab chocolate. After a long day and an extended commute, I make myself a cocktail and decide that I can blow my calories during dinner. If I check something off my to-do list, I get sushi and sake.

This needs to change, stat.

I need examples because all I can see after a hard day at work is that beer and that sammich. Mustering the reserves to try and be creative takes energy that I usually don't have. I need references. Ideas. A brain-crutch for the hard days.

So...Halp?

What do you do after a hard day or during a anxiety-spiking week?

How do you reward yourself for the little accomplishments?

HOW I MINE FOR LIFESTYLE CHANGE!?
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Replies

  • angeleyes6480
    angeleyes6480 Posts: 22
    Some things could be maybe a massage, a new haircut for the new you, new shoes for the gym, are some longer term rewards as far as short term ummmm....lol I think I need some help on those too
  • angel79202
    angel79202 Posts: 1,012 Member
    trips!!! I plan trips for my rewards..I love to travel :)
  • lgrix
    lgrix Posts: 160 Member
    I rewarded myself for a hard week with a 2 hour swim on Friday. Food is not a reward, it is nourishment. Take a long walk and regroup after a hard day, you will feel better. Go the gym when you are tired, it works.
  • AlicesNirvanaHealthWellness
    AlicesNirvanaHealthWellness Posts: 111 Member
    I bought new gym shoes as my first big reward, just ordered a tshirt I wanted today, but I admit those are my rewards, I too, have difficulty when stressed out,, I try to go for a walk, but food is such a comfort sometimes :noway: :sad:
    Good luck
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    Some things could be maybe a massage, a new haircut for the new you, new shoes for the gym, are some longer term rewards as far as short term ummmm....lol I think I need some help on those too

    Oooh, dig the haircut idea! I'm so bad at doing non-essential things for myself. It's been years since my curls have been tamed.

    Thanks!
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    trips!!! I plan trips for my rewards..I love to travel :)

    For some reason trips turned into conventions (I tend to go to geeky conventions on vacations) turned into the idea of buying a new figure or book as a treat.

    Nice, thanks! ^_~
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    I rewarded myself for a hard week with a 2 hour swim on Friday. Food is not a reward, it is nourishment. Take a long walk and regroup after a hard day, you will feel better. Go the gym when you are tired, it works.

    It's so hard building those habits. I bought myself a swimsuit and cap and went to the pool ONCE. There were a ton of parents and kids there and I've been avoiding it like the self conscious introvert I am ever since.

    Mebbe I'll hop on the stationary bike after a hard day before making dinner? Hrm.
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    I bought new gym shoes as my first big reward, just ordered a tshirt I wanted today, but I admit those are my rewards, I too, have difficulty when stressed out,, I try to go for a walk, but food is such a comfort sometimes :noway: :sad:
    Good luck

    It so is!

    /sigh

    /eyes jelly beans
  • MelissaPhippsFeagins
    MelissaPhippsFeagins Posts: 8,063 Member
    At the end of a hard day, I use a steamy bubble bath to help myself relax. (I am old enough to remember the "Calgon, take me away" commercials.
    If I see a super hard day coming early, I'll budget myself a skim sugar-free chai or skim sugar free latte on the way home from work. A 12oz drink has around 120 calories and I'm boosting my calcium along with that taste.

    End of a hard week: Hike 5 miles up the mountain and back. Does wonders for my attitude to spend a few hours away with nature.

    When I hit 15lbs lost, I am getting my hair colored. I like the length, but not the gray. :-)
  • KarateMadMum
    KarateMadMum Posts: 32
    A good movie...
    Meditation..
    A long hot soak in the bath with candles nice smellies etc
    A phone call with a good friend for a gossip
    Curl up in PJs with a good book/magazine

    Just generally be kind to yourself .... you deserve it!
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    At the end of a hard day, I use a steamy bubble bath to help myself relax. (I am old enough to remember the "Calgon, take me away" commercials.
    If I see a super hard day coming early, I'll budget myself a skim sugar-free chai or skim sugar free latte on the way home from work. A 12oz drink has around 120 calories and I'm boosting my calcium along with that taste.

    End of a hard week: Hike 5 miles up the mountain and back. Does wonders for my attitude to spend a few hours away with nature.

    When I hit 15lbs lost, I am getting my hair colored. I like the length, but not the gray. :-)

    I remember those commercials! I'm older than I behave. ^_~

    I should have mentioned that the main source of my stress is not only the usual work/life stressors, but the fact that my commute is two hours each way. This means that I tend to choose the expedient coping mechanism rather than the more effective one because I have all of two hours to make dinner, eat, clean up and spend time with my significant other before I have to go to bed and repeat the process.

    ...Perhaps I can transmogrify that bath into a shower...

    Anyhow, I really dig the pre-budgeted treat idea. My work spikes once a month, predictably, so I am so going to start doing that.

    Thanks!
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    A good movie...
    Meditation..
    A long hot soak in the bath with candles nice smellies etc
    A phone call with a good friend for a gossip
    Curl up in PJs with a good book/magazine

    Just generally be kind to yourself .... you deserve it!

    Thanks!:heart:

    I have already decided that I am so going to buy myself an e-book or three at the end of a hard week or as a reward for a job well done. I'm book motivated.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    What do you do after a hard day or during a anxiety-spiking week?

    Generally, I rest up and get ready for the following week. "Rest up" includes blowing of steam with physical activity.
    How do you reward yourself for the little accomplishments?

    Generally, I don't, as I view "little accomplishments" as part of the job of basic living and getting them done is just par for the course of life. Getting through them and living another day is already reward enough.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    Four hour daily commute? NO!!!! Don't do it. Change your job, quit your job - anything. That is NOT good for your well being. Do whatever it takes... move house, downsize house - sell the dog... ANYTHING!

    Also:

    My favourite non-food treat:

    Spending all day in my PJs under a duvet watching a box set.
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
    Everyone is giving you great ideas about rewards, so I'll avoid repetition.
    I just wanted to add that you might want to try plan ahead to avoid having to make eating decisions when you're stressed and tired (because for sure, you'll go for the quick, easy and comforting). I'm now cooking big batches of vegetables, a ton of quinoa, etc on the weekend and decide when we'll eat what. That way, I avoid the urge to stop at a fast food place coming back home at 9pm and I'm not anxious about having to decide anything else...for the day. I also pack snacks that I can eat in the car.
    Good luck to you!
  • jadedhippo
    jadedhippo Posts: 95 Member
    Start off with more nutritious food options, then if you want you can switch to non foods. Berries and yoghurt, dark chocolate (antioxidants!), a homemade fruit smoothie... hot chocolate?

    Id reward myself with watching tv or a movie, a bath or long shower or purchasing new music or art supplies. Sometimes I reward myself by going to sleep early! Ha!
  • moontyrant
    moontyrant Posts: 160 Member
    I try to deal with anxiety via exercise and sunshine. An hour walk does more for me than a pound of chocolate.
    Hard days end with cooking. Something about meticulously washing, cutting and boiling in the quiet of my kitchen soothes me. Not exactly non-food, but it beats the drive-thru.
  • joshdann
    joshdann Posts: 618 Member
    running seems to help me relieve stress. Getting p***ed at something, then taking out my frustration on the upcoming hill or long straightaway feels pretty dern good.

    As for non-food rewards, perhaps a new piece of exercise gear? New shoes, some weightlifting gloves, a new dry-fit tee, things like that. Works pretty well for the wife and me. So far, at least :)
  • sj_1970
    sj_1970 Posts: 38
    What do you do after a hard day or during a anxiety-spiking week?

    Tai Chi - Its my reset button
    Listen to music and dance crazy around my living room, so I get loose
    Lie on my floor and Sing really loudly
    Stomp around
    Go for a walk
    Go swimming
    Blog/Journal
    Meditate
    Pray
    Burn some sage
    Have a cup of tea
    Take a shower and imagine all of the stress going down the drain
    Put lotion on my feet
    Pluck my eyebrows and the stray dark hair in my woman stache' lil bastids.
    Read something meaningful - even if it's just a quote
    Wrap up in a blanket and comfort myself
    Call a friend
    Watch something funny or silly on you tube
    File my fingernails
    Make it about me
    Stretch
    Clean my car
    Go outside and cloud watch
    Go fishing - rare nowadays tho
    Do the dishes - it relaxes me
    Check my attitude if it needs adjusting I change it except PMS times I just ride through that as it comes
    I try to be mindful, sometimes I'm good at it, sometimes not so much

    How do you reward yourself for the little accomplishments?
    Rewards for the little stuff, I do a gratitude journal
    I realize that I'm frickin awesome and tell someone face to face what I did that I'm proud of.
    The things I do to manage stress from the list above are all rewards to me - I keep it simple
    I buy myself cut flowers, but it's because I love & appreciate myself and how far I've gotten in life
    Go to a concert or where there is live music
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Sometimes I engage in avoidance activities (internet, lol, this place).

    Best planned relaxation (imo):
    - yoga: great for those who can do it, it just feels amazing. a class is best because you've paid, signed up, have to go
    - swimming at night. forces you to take deep breaths. (the yoga does too)

    Chewing gum for immediate oral fix (my other choice in that direction has been smoking :( )
  • candylilacs
    candylilacs Posts: 614 Member
    Agree with many of these, although I don't view these as "rewards" but how you live a life!

    I have gotten a few T-shirts with phrases from Marianne Williamson on them. A pink, metal water bottle (plastic isn't good for you, apparently) a yoga mat, real yoga clothes, new running shoes (three pairs! and two are *amazing*) and three new bras. Oh, I think I love the bras most of all! I did not have any decent push-up bras and it wasn't until I went to brastop.com I found a whole bunch in my size that didn't make me feel like I had old lady boobs, or at least a bra for old ladies.

    I also bought a couple of nice shirts and a pair of jeans that fit really well, but now I have to have a belt. Occasionally I do buy shojo (Japanese anime for girls) and watch DVDs. Netflix is also good for this.

    Play miniature golf, go on a ferris wheel, gokart, whatever -- anything that gets you moving and making memories is a great reward.
  • rainbow_Moonbeam
    rainbow_Moonbeam Posts: 16
    I don't yet have a long term reward (maybe smaller clothes) but to reward myself for excercising I bought star stickers and made a chart. 5000 steps in one day means a little star, 10000 means a big star. If I ran/did couch to 5k, I get a gold star. If it was just walking, I get a silver star. My chart is next to my bed and it's nice to get the instant gratification. It also means that I have to excercise - if I don't, I'll have a gap! My 13 day streak would be ruined! Also, if I do loads of steps I can get multiple stars! :) It worked when I was a child, it works for me now.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    also, maybe move closer to work if that's something you can do, horrible commutes are the worst
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    Four hour daily commute? NO!!!! Don't do it. Change your job, quit your job - anything. That is NOT good for your well being. Do whatever it takes... move house, downsize house - sell the dog... ANYTHING!

    ...Yanno. You may have a point there. Lots of my stress is the severe lack of time I have, because most of it is spent at work or commuting. Food as stress relief is quick. Hrm.
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    Everyone is giving you great ideas about rewards, so I'll avoid repetition.
    I just wanted to add that you might want to try plan ahead to avoid having to make eating decisions when you're stressed and tired (because for sure, you'll go for the quick, easy and comforting). I'm now cooking big batches of vegetables, a ton of quinoa, etc on the weekend and decide when we'll eat what. That way, I avoid the urge to stop at a fast food place coming back home at 9pm and I'm not anxious about having to decide anything else...for the day. I also pack snacks that I can eat in the car.
    Good luck to you!

    I'm working on that actually. We did a meal plan for the week for the first time this week. This might remove some of that decision fatigue as I'm the one in charge of meal planning and cleanup in my household.

    Fingers crossed?
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    Start off with more nutritious food options, then if you want you can switch to non foods. Berries and yoghurt, dark chocolate (antioxidants!), a homemade fruit smoothie... hot chocolate?

    Id reward myself with watching tv or a movie, a bath or long shower or purchasing new music or art supplies. Sometimes I reward myself by going to sleep early! Ha!

    Ooh, early bedtimes....Hrrrrmmm...
  • Raevyns
    Raevyns Posts: 91 Member
    I try to deal with anxiety via exercise and sunshine. An hour walk does more for me than a pound of chocolate.
    Hard days end with cooking. Something about meticulously washing, cutting and boiling in the quiet of my kitchen soothes me. Not exactly non-food, but it beats the drive-thru.

    Does exercise really help you with your anxiety? I'd love to get off the meds I'm on.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    Why does everyone need a "reward?" Are we 5 years old? Do it for yourself. Rewards are for people who are just in it to hit marks and stop when those marks are hit. Commit to yourself and your goals and just do it.
  • Mr_Starr
    Mr_Starr Posts: 139 Member
    -- many ideas above are excellent so i won't repeat.

    so in addition...

    1) Art and Music: In last couple years i have taken evening pottery, oil painting, water color classes as a reward. Now I am learning the guitar.

    2) Making an effort to go out and meet up and hang with old friends. Even if it is quick break in the middle of the day for a coffee or tea (w/o sweeteners). Phone calls and texts don't always are not so satisfying for me. Better to meetup with some friends and chat, hike, walk the parks, play a board game, etc.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I reward myself with books and music.

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