Why do you think people give up after first success?
FeelingLessChubby
Posts: 152 Member
I do realise that questions of the "why do people do the things they do" ilk are a bit like the chicken or egg dilemma. I suppose overall people do things just because that's what they do - there is no one reason that can be applied.
But I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on why people give up just as they start seeing weightloss results. I personally know quite a few people who have joined MFP and achieved that first milestone of 5 to 10lbs loss... then went right back to their old ways, eating the way they used to, snacking all day long, not logging and of course reversing all the good work they had done thus far.
I find this baffling because for me, when I lost my first 5lbs, I found it to be a fantastic motivator to lose more, because it was working for me. Two plateaus have been hard, I'm still on my second one and I can't seem to get below 60kg, but I know it can be done and I'm not going to give up!
Why do you think people stop when they've had their first success?
But I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on why people give up just as they start seeing weightloss results. I personally know quite a few people who have joined MFP and achieved that first milestone of 5 to 10lbs loss... then went right back to their old ways, eating the way they used to, snacking all day long, not logging and of course reversing all the good work they had done thus far.
I find this baffling because for me, when I lost my first 5lbs, I found it to be a fantastic motivator to lose more, because it was working for me. Two plateaus have been hard, I'm still on my second one and I can't seem to get below 60kg, but I know it can be done and I'm not going to give up!
Why do you think people stop when they've had their first success?
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Replies
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Fear of change is a huge obstacle to change in every area of life, so there's that.
Also the mindset that weight loss is a time-limited goal that, once achieved, will earn the person the right to go "back to normal," i.e., back to poor eating and exercise habits.0 -
After losing 60lbs initially, I gained 24 back. Lots of factors went into that. One was I convinced myself that my metabolism was faster. Another was that my gym blew up (literally. I was working in the 911 dispatch center when it happened. We were over a mile away and our building shook like a truck hit it.) Instead of looking for a new gym at first, I called it a "break" and then didn't see the inside of a gym for about a year. My final reason was that I met this GREAT guy! We only ever wanted to be together, and he's not huge on working out, but he sure loves dining out! Now that we're married, though, I need to get my butt in gear! He's very supportive of my health-quest; he just doesn't like the gym.0
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Here are my guesses:
1. They're on too low calories. I have to say my first round on MFP back in 2008 I got 1200 calories. I think I stuck around for MAYBE 2 weeks and that was it. It was hard to maintain that 1200 calories and I wasn't happy at all. So I quit.
2. Being mentally prepared/committed to make change. Although many people want to lose weight, they're just not ready to commit to doing what it takes to change. This was true with me. I joined right after having my daughter. FIVE years ago. It's taken me nearly five years to be mentally ready to be committed and determined to make change. Of course I wish I had done this all sooner, now that I know what I should/need to do. It's actually easier that I thought. But if you asked me 3 years ago, I wouldn't have been ready mentally to do anything, even though I really needed/wanted to lose weight.
3. The 5-10 lbs didn't come off as fast as wanted/hoped for. Let's face it, we live in a world now of instant gratification. Everyone wants to lose weight FAST. Hence why people buy into diet supplements and gimmicks. They want to lose as fast as they can. They lose 5-10 lbs but it takes them several weeks, and they think, this is taking forever. So they quit.
Those are my thoughts anyway
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I also found the losses motivating, but most of the people I have observed have done one of a few things:
1. They start out with too much too fast: either too large a calorie cut or exercise. Everyone is different in terms of their fitness level and willpower so some have to start out slower than others. Some can make a big cut in calories or start doing tons of exercise right away, but a lot have to ease into it.
2. They "reward" themselves for the weight loss for a day or a week and then never get back on track. I've also met a lot of people under the impression that they "ruined" their weight loss goals for the day with ice cream or chocolate or other junk food and so they should just give up and eat what they want the rest of the day. If that happens for a few days they usually end up back to their old eating habits.
3. The are satisfied with the results or think it's "good enough" (whether or not they are at their original goal) and think they can go back to eating how they used to (despite the fact that this is what made them a higher weight to begin with).0 -
Because they realize that it's a very long process and not something that's just going to happen overnight or next week or whatever...so they wuss out. They're also usually way too restrictive both in terms of their calorie intake and elimination of "bad" foods, etc....so they're pretty much doomed to failure with a completely unsustainable diet plan.0
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I do realise that questions of the "why do people do the things they do" ilk are a bit like the chicken or egg dilemma. I suppose overall people do things just because that's what they do - there is no one reason that can be applied.
But I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on why people give up just as they start seeing weightloss results. I personally know quite a few people who have joined MFP and achieved that first milestone of 5 to 10lbs loss... then went right back to their old ways, eating the way they used to, snacking all day long, not logging and of course reversing all the good work they had done thus far.
I find this baffling because for me, when I lost my first 5lbs, I found it to be a fantastic motivator to lose more, because it was working for me. Two plateaus have been hard, I'm still on my second one and I can't seem to get below 60kg, but I know it can be done and I'm not going to give up!
Why do you think people stop when they've had their first success?
Because they'd rather eat the food that gives them that pleasure that puts the weight back on than to continue losing weight which they lost their initial motivation. or they start playing around thinking 'I'll just have this one little thing" which leads to another,, and another.. etc.0 -
We live in a society of quick fixes and are raising give-me kids who want everything NOW. When we go back to learning that the best is YET to come and that easily done is never long term, then we will revert to our "older" ways of earning that,that which we desire--to include weight loss--is best fought for and EARNED.......0
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Another was that my gym blew up (literally. I was working in the 911 dispatch center when it happened. We were over a mile away and our building shook like a truck hit it.)
OMG, that is horrible. I think the reasons are as individual as the person. Fear of success? Lack of commitment? Complacency? Satisfaction with the status quo? Lack of a support system? Or just falling back into old routines? And I'm sure there are so many others. For many, I guess they think there's always tomorrow. For me, I had what I think is the great motivator: father time. At my age, I knew this was probably my last best chance to really kick this thing into high gear and get what I've wanted my whole life. I'm not there yet, but this is the best I've felt about how my body looks in my life. I just wish I had done it decades ago.0 -
This is a really good post. I have always had this "Glass Ceiling" - well actually a "Glass Floor".
The last two years I have been logging on fitday.com. My account is still open so I thought I would check how I did. I worked like Hell to get from 195-200 down to about 175. A solid 20-25 loss.
But it was the [/b] All or nothing [/b] mentality that always got me in the end. I did it by "starving myself" I ate only 1200-1400 calories (I am a 5'7' 185-190 lb guy). And when I did burn 500-900 calories running or walking, I never ate those calories back. As a result I was operating on a net of 400-800 per day. I never had stamina to run more than 1 1/2 miles at a time. Could not lift because I would get a sore throat after a big workout because my immune system was so "run down". As soon as I got to 175-178.. I would say "I did it" then literally gain all the 20 lbs back in 1-2 months. But when I gained it all back my Lean Body mass was less and my metabolism was worse.
1. I was going after a scale number instead of specific fitness and bodyfat goals.
2. I was eating too little
3. I wanted it to happen really fast
4. I called it a "diet"
Now.. I am losing weight slowly but surely eating and netting about 50%-70% between my BMI and my TDEE. I feel great and I just ran 80 minutes without stopping the other day. I just signed up for a push up challenge and I will be hitting the weights and other body weight exercises next month.
It just drives me crazy to see all these challenges on the site where people are going to lose 30-40 lbs by 2014. Most of the people that sign up have great intentions, but I think maybe 10%-20% will reach their goal. The rest will get frustrated and be very unhappy. Do they realize that losing 10 lbs per month for 4 straight months is really difficult!
My "Glass Floor" is literally about 6-8 months away now. I hope that when I get there I will just keep what I am doing now: Log everything, consume less calories then I burn. Enjoy the journey.
Good luck to all!0 -
Many reasons....
they reach a goal for specific occasion (wedding or whatever) - then go back their old ways
someone tells them they're too thin
they think they look great now now and that they'll stay that way whatever they do ( just like people on medication feel better so stop taking the meds)
it isn't working fast enough
they think it's ' too much hassle' to prepare healthy foods
it's raining so they can't go out and walk/ run
they gym is too expensive
healthy food is too expensive
someone keeps bringing cakes into work
etc etc etc0 -
I can speak from experience as I have, many times, committed to a weight loss effort, achieved some success and then "backslid" into old habits.
The things I do are to stop keeping track of what I eat, start "treating" myself without an honest accounting of how many calories I'm taking in and give myself much more caloric credit for my activity than it really warrants.
The reason I do them is that I don't really want to believe that I have to work this hard to maintain a healthy weight. It's like not paying attention to how much money is in your account. I don't like numbers. I want to be "like everybody else" and have an instinctive love for healthy foods and an inner sense of when I've had enough. The other reason is a lack of faith- - -in myself. Because I know how much effort it takes for me to lose weight, I find it hard to believe that I can sustain it for the rest of my life. So, sometimes, especially when life intervenes with other distractions, I stop trying. It seems easier to just let the effort go.
Until I have to face the scale and my belly and remember that I really want this.
And then, I come to the boards here for inspiration. It really helps to see others honestly facing the same challenges and succeeding.0 -
Having done this myself more times than I care to remember in the last 40 years, it is the "diet mentality." Permanent weight loss takes a change in mindset and lifestyle, not unlike changing any another habit. Our culture uses the word "diet" to frame weight loss so in our minds, when the "diet" is over, the weight is lost (be it 10 pounds, 20 pounds or 50 pounds) and that is DONE! We can now move on to our normal lifestyle again. Do any of the weigh loss programs, diet supplements, etc ever say "if you do not change your lifestyle and make this "diet" a part of your life forever, you will gain the weight back!"? NEVER! So, we keep losing the same 10 to 20 pounds over and over because we are not really ready to make the permanent change losing more weight, or keeping off the weight we have already lost, will require.0
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I can only speak for myself but after having three kids and losing big twice during the past 12 years then gaining it all back and more. Here is why I could not make it work. First off, I thought of losing weight as a diet not a lifestyle change. The plans I choose were unsustainable (ediets, south beach, atkins). Giving up certain foods forever was not going to work. Second, I choose reasons for losing the weight that would eventually come and go, one was a cruise, the other was when my husband was deployed and I wanted to look better for him when he returned. Both goals were short term not life long. As soon as the goal was reached I went back to old habits and old excuses. I never really excepted that my eating habits, stress levels and exercise habits were MY fault and the weight that I had gained was my fault. Thirdly, acceptance. I begin to tell my self that I just would have to except the fact that I was fat. I was over 40 and most women my age were overweight. So five pounds lost was good enough right? Why bother? I was still smaller then half the women I knew. Then there was the bad, conflicting advice. Run fast, workout twice a day, don't take a day off, do 100 lunges, dont use a treadmill, do use a treadmill, lift weights, don't lift weights you will land up looking like a man, do so much cardio your legs hurt for a week, walk with friends, walk alone....you get the picture...Finding MFP saved my life. Logging lets me see how much carbs, sugar, fat etc I actually did eat...helped me learn to readjust my life. Drink water, give up something to have something else.....anyway, those are the reasons I stopped before....nothing will stop me now. nothing.0
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I think for some people its like taking the finish line out of a race. They meet their goal, the race is over. Take away the finish line and you will eventually get tired and stop. Goals keep us in check with ourselves. The most important thing i believe in weight loss for life is to always have a goal slightly out of reach. This will keep you fit for the rest of your life.0
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I can only speak for myself but after having three kids and losing big twice during the past 12 years then gaining it all back and more. Here is why I could not make it work. First off, I thought of losing weight as a diet not a lifestyle change. The plans I choose were unsustainable (ediets, south beach, atkins). Giving up certain foods forever was not going to work. Second, I choose reasons for losing the weight that would eventually come and go, one was a cruise, the other was when my husband was deployed and I wanted to look better for him when he returned. Both goals were short term not life long. As soon as the goal was reached I went back to old habits and old excuses. I never really excepted that my eating habits, stress levels and exercise habits were MY fault and the weight that I had gained was my fault. Thirdly, acceptance. I begin to tell my self that I just would have to except the fact that I was fat. I was over 40 and most women my age were overweight. So five pounds lost was good enough right? Why bother? I was still smaller then half the women I knew. Then there was the bad, conflicting advice. Run fast, workout twice a day, don't take a day off, do 100 lunges, dont use a treadmill, do use a treadmill, lift weights, don't lift weights you will land up looking like a man, do so much cardio your legs hurt for a week, walk with friends, walk alone....you get the picture...Finding MFP saved my life. Logging lets me see how much carbs, sugar, fat etc I actually did eat...helped me learn to readjust my life. Drink water, give up something to have something else.....anyway, those are the reasons I stopped before....nothing will stop me now. nothing.
Exactly! Except for the babies (I only had one and believe it or not weighed 20 pounds less when I left the hospital than when I got pregnant!) this is exactly my story! Every "diet" (and like you, I have tried them all!) ended and life returned to normal. I think our story is far more the norm than most people want to admit. I have finally got it! My food choices mean weight control and my exercise choices mean health. It took 60 years, but like you,I finally GOT IT and nothing will stop me either! ! :flowerforyou:0 -
I think for some people its like taking the finish line out of a race. They meet their goal, the race is over. Take away the finish line and you will eventually get tired and stop. Goals keep us in check with ourselves. The most important thing i believe in weight loss for life is to always have a goal slightly out of reach. This will keep you fit for the rest of your life.
^^^ This - Very well said! Right on!0 -
Mainly one IMO: Lack of commitment. If someone is truly committed to something, they don't stop regardless of the obstacles.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Life.
I was down 75 pounds from my heaviest weight, got pregnant. After that pregnancy was down 40 or so pounds from my heaviest weight. Just barely started getting it off again when I found out I was pregnant with twins. High risk pregnancy, 3 months bedrest, preemies born at 32 weeks, emergency c-sections, 19 months between my twins and their older brother. Tons of medical interventions and therapies, behavioral problems, speech, physical therapy....
Life.
Here I am, withing 10 pounds of that first initial loss (4 months after starting again) before my three boys were born and it is years and years later. But no excuses, I'm going to be healthier for me. I am worth it.
When my guys were 1 (twins) and 2 (my destruction, behavior problem kid), I had to work to not punch someone when they said to me, I just needed to prioritize. I was getting 3 hours of sleep a night. I was exhausted. It was survival mode only and I was there for years.
Anyway, those are my reasons why. But I own my health and here I am taking charge.0 -
I had lost 23 and gained 3 back , I started retaining a lot of water and it seemed like I there was always something hindering my progress, plus the fact that mfp announced how many days I had logged on made me feel like a failure because I was behind scheduled . So instead of being more motivated I became more frustrated and took a logging break of two weeks.
Is easy doing this when you are seeing results week by week ,but when the results are not appearing and you are doing everything right it gets frustrating.
So now I disable the announce how many days I have logged feature , I don't need that type of pressure and screw the schedule .0 -
Bump for later:blushing:0
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I think for some people its like taking the finish line out of a race. They meet their goal, the race is over. Take away the finish line and you will eventually get tired and stop. Goals keep us in check with ourselves. The most important thing i believe in weight loss for life is to always have a goal slightly out of reach. This will keep you fit for the rest of your life.
This ^^^^ Totally has changed my way of thinking and doing things to have goals set for myself. And not a goal of "I'm going to lose XX pounds this month". This month my goal is to run 70 miles. I have tried to do weight loss before, and had some success, but allowed the circumstances of my life to derail me, because other than wanting the weight gone, I had no goals. Start with small goals. Make bigger long term goals (for me, that's a half marathon next spring, and a full marathon before age 36). I can't preach about setting goals loud enough or long enough. It's so important.0 -
I had lost 80lbs from my heaviest of 240lbs in 2010-2011 period. I was pretty strict on myself. I got all the way down to a weight that was closing in on the healthy range..maybe I thought, okay..I made it this far, I can take a break for a day or two..that break ended up being a year. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find myself motivated enough to get back on track, I was depressed, angry at myself. I had gained 40lbs back. I started binging and wasn't able to stop for the longest time. As when 2013 came around, I made more of an effort to try and recover from my binge eating habits, it was shaky for the first 6 months. It has been 30+ days since I had last binged since my birthday which was on 8/11/13. (celebrations and all lol)..I am finding balance. I eat in moderation and find that helps me in the best way. So that is my advice..find balance. 0
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This month my goal is to run 70 miles. I have tried to do weight loss before, and had some success, but allowed the circumstances of my life to derail me, because other than wanting the weight gone, I had no goals. Start with small goals. Make bigger long term goals (for me, that's a half marathon next spring, and a full marathon before age 36). I can't preach about setting goals loud enough or long enough. It's so important.
^^ This - I love seeing goals like
Yours - This month my goal is to run 70 miles
others I have seen here....
run/walk 100 miles this month
lift weights 12 times this month
get up before 5:30 and workout every weekday (I am doing this now)
Do Insanity 20 times this month
Stay in "green" for 27 out or 30 days this month
Eat three servings of vegetables a day
Measurable goals - (Didn't mentioned that "Scale" once!)0 -
I did not read the other posts mostly because I didn't want them to influence my answer. The reason I have slipped NUMEROUS times after my first successful time of keeping it off for over a year is because I figure "oh, I'm thin now...I can slip a little" and then it just went crazy from there.
I wasn't ready to make it a lifestyle change, i sitll treated it like a diet. And now because of knee surgery [really knocked me back, as I couldn't do ANYTHING I used to do...horseback riding, zumba, eliptical, the gym periiod] the last year has been a complete bust
Sometimes life jsut throws people lemons and it is hard to keep up with something as demanding as exercise, but it could have been maintained with food. I just got used to being able to eat more due to all the exercise I did and continued to eat the same amount even with no exercise.
Anyways, the lack of willing to change long-term/lifelong habits after the initial lost tends to be people's downfall.0 -
Bump0
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I was on a low carb diet and it was getting too hard, because my husband, being bigger, could eat more carbs than me. He could even eat pizza and keep low carb. So I stopped watching my carbs and started eating what I wanted, because after all, a calorie is a calorie. Unfortunately, high carb foods are not my friend, and not only did I stall on my weight loss, but I got sick with a gallstone attack, high blood sugar, very low iron, and serious heartburn. Now I"m back in my low carb lifestyle and just recently got to my goal weight and I feel so much better!
So maybe some people fail because their diet just isn't suitable for them.0 -
I did this myself over the summer. One of my issues is that I compare myself with others. So many of my friends started out the same time as I did and lost 20-30 lbs and I had only lost 8 lbs. I was working out but struggled with eating a couple of days a week or not exercising. I would have 4-5 days where I met my goal, but a couple, usually the weekend, where I went over. Its discouraging seeing others lose when you are not. You are happy for your friends, but you feel like its not worth it when you are not seeing the same results. I felt like that time I was spending exercising or eating something I didn't want, I could have been doing/eating something I loved if I am not going to see results because I am not perfect like others. I now regret my decision since I have gained the weight back and I have to start over again. I don't care if it takes me longer this time, some people just lose faster and they have better willpower. I can't consider myself a failure for taking longer. I am only a failure if I just give up.0
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I do realise that questions of the "why do people do the things they do" ilk are a bit like the chicken or egg dilemma. I suppose overall people do things just because that's what they do - there is no one reason that can be applied.
But I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on why people give up just as they start seeing weightloss results. I personally know quite a few people who have joined MFP and achieved that first milestone of 5 to 10lbs loss... then went right back to their old ways, eating the way they used to, snacking all day long, not logging and of course reversing all the good work they had done thus far.
I find this baffling because for me, when I lost my first 5lbs, I found it to be a fantastic motivator to lose more, because it was working for me. Two plateaus have been hard, I'm still on my second one and I can't seem to get below 60kg, but I know it can be done and I'm not going to give up!
Why do you think people stop when they've had their first success?0 -
You asked why people stop after 5 or 10 lbs and I can think of a lot of reasons why having been one of those people myself. The biggest reason that comes to mind is that I have heard many times before that it takes 6 weeks (although I would guess even longer) to change a bad habit, so I would say that they have not been at it long enough with 5 or 10 lbs to change their learned behaviors when it comes to eating and exercise.0
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I have a few reasons:
-For me, weight loss gets really hard and slow after I lose 10%. That first 10% is easy and relatively quick — I can lose about 2lbs a week with healthy eating and exercise. However, it slows dramatically once I get past that point, and the same healthy routine only brings a loss of 0.5lbs a week or so. It can be really frustrating, because I'm still working hard but not experiencing the same rewards.
- Because of my height (5'8.5, nothing crazy) I can lose 20lbs without losing a full dress size and it takes forever for other people to notice.
- Life gets in the way. There are times during the year when I'm taking 24+ credits, working 50 hours a week, and trying to maintain some sort of social life. My friends, family, and fiance are going to be more important than spending even five hours a week at the gym.
- Happiness. When I'm in a peaceful, happy time in my life I tend to be about 6lbs heavier. I don't stress the missed workouts or slice of cheesecake as much.0
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