Feeling down — just need to rant

Ack, so much empathy for this. I have days where I think, "Yay, X pounds lost!" and days when I think, "Ugh, it's only X pounds, I'm not going to feel proud of myself until it's all gone." I think it's part of the irritation and even disgust that I still harbor for letting myself get into this state in the first place.

My mom has always been about food rewards. Food has always, ALWAYS been either an enemy or a reward, never just something that you eat to sustain yourself. "Been good on the diet this week? Yay, why not have cream cakes today? It's Sunday, after all..." "If you're good at the doctor's, I'll buy you an ice cream." I love my mom, and in a lot of ways she was a good mother, but one thing I know is that I will never ever use food as a reward with my kids. Or a punishment, for that matter.

The thing that works best for me is to set interim goals - every ten pounds, or every fifteen pounds, or at whatever points seem right to you - and have non-food rewards for them that I decide upon beforehand. (They need to be things that I wouldn't normally buy for myself, so books don't work. *grins*) Stuff like new shoes, or a makeover, or a dress that I've been wanting to buy. I haven't worked them all out yet, this time around - I only started losing weight again a week ago - but I know that when I lose 100 lbs, I get to finally learn to ski. It's something I've always wanted to do, and I've always held off because of my weight. No idea how I'm going to pay for it...but we'll work something out.

It's fine to not want people to make a big deal of it, but it does help most people keep motivated if you have interim goals to strive for, ones that aren't too far off. Makes the journey feel less arduous when you can clearly see the next marker point.

Something that I know a lot of people do is have cheat days, days where they can eat what they want without guilt. These do need to be occasional - birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries etc - and you need to watch out that "occasional" doesn't turn into once a month and then once a week, but on those days you get to eat what you like, and that seems to help people stay on track the rest of the time. I don't personally do this - my system is sensitised enough that if I eat forbidden foods one time, it sets up the cravings again and I'm miserable for a week or ten days - but I know plenty of folks who do. Although obviously I don't know how serious your problem gets if you eat tomatoes or chocolate, so maybe this isn't a possibility for you.

Anyway, good luck with everything, and feel free to rant away. Weight loss is hard - I know I've been totally crabby all week.

One day at a time. Or even an hour at a time if that's what you need to do. Also, getting healthy isn't about what others think, but more so about what you think about yourself. Do what makes you happy.

You aren't alone. The most important thing is to keep getting back on the bike. . .and maybe find something that is splurgy in another way? I know this sounds simplistic, but my most recent tactic to fight off binge desire is to get fresh berries. Which are way out of my normal price range. So they feel like a treat, and like I'm getting away with something, but they're pretty healthy. Or I'll go on etsy and spend money on something ridiculous but non-edible.

I think fixes are different for different people, but you definitely aren't alone in your feeling. Stick with it, and when you slip up, just start again the next day.