Advice on how to deal with family..

What I have found over the last 16 months, is that this is my decision and I have ALL the control over what I eat. It's a difficult thing dealing with family but if you truly are ready for a change - make it happen. There will always be people who will try to sabotage your efforts - family, friends - no matter how well meaning. You decision to be healthy has to be stronger than their desire to "feed" you.

Do this for YOU. Explain your plan to them one time and then start changing the subject when they confront you about food. You are in control - no one else.

Unless you are 5 years old, kindly tell your family that THIS IS YOUR NEW LIFESTYLE. You are an adult and you KNOW when you are hungry and when you are not. Don't use them as an excuse. They will understand...

I agree with this, sometimes you have just got to be blunt.

or when you go around you could bring a healthy meal for everyone to tuck into - like a veggie lasagne, involve them in your lifestyle change, show them you are not starving yourself and you are eating great food.

I agree with what other people have said but your profile is locked so I can't see how much you weigh or what you eat.

I know you are unhappy with how you look and I applaud that you are trying to change your lifestyle, especially if you do have weight to lose but all you've said is that you are 'unhappy with the way you look' which is fair enough but you don't give enough information. For all I know, you could have an OD, weigh very little and your family is worried about you...

Hi all,

So.. I'm at this dilemma where I'm very unhappy with my weight and the way that I look. I currently do not live with my family and I visit them once or a twice a week. Every time I go over, they essentially tell me "You need to eat more! Eat more this, eat more that!" and they just can't stop feeding me. They know that I'm trying to change my lifestyle and they know that I'm trying to lose weight. However, they always feel the need to feed me and when I refuse to eat what they want me to eat, they get mad at me or very upset with me.

I was on a really good roll with losing weight and then I skyrocketed back up five pounds, which really has me pretty upset and pretty discouraged.

Do you guys have any similar experiences like this? How do you handle these things?

I read this somewhere on a different forum "they will either get over it or die angry".

stop making *their* issues into *your* issues. stop blaming them for your choices.

make a healthy choice - stop visiting them, or make up to meet at a neutral place (foodless), or... learn to say no. stop explaining, stop justifying your choices, just say "no thank you". or "that looks great but I'm really full right now". or "you know that looks great - can i take some home for later?" etc.

If you know you are going save some calories or a meal to eat with them. That's what I do and then I ask to take some home with me, then they don't know what happens to it. It will usually go in the trash or as a treat for my dogs and sometimes I eat it but I don't hurt anyone's feelings that way.

It has taken several months but my family is finally accepting my logging everything and eating different than they do.

If I know I am going to go somehwere where people are apt to offer me food, I try to make sure I have the calories available to have some of what's offered, and just watch my portions.

I think this sounds like a good way to go. If you are only eating there one or two meals a week, it shouldn't be enough to sabotage you that much. Just take what they give you and eat what you want and stop when full. Maybe workout a little more that day if you know it's going to be a heavy meal.

What is your BMI? If your BMI places you as "underweight" or on the verge of it, than perhaps there might be something what your family is saying and you lack the ability to "see straight" when it comes to your weight and your body.

If you are not in that category, than no need to worry about other people's perception.

It makes great counter argument too.

Something like this:

-- You are too thin. You should not loose anymore weight.

-- Oh, I'm not. In fact, I'm 7lb away from being classified as "overweight".

-- *gasp*. According to whom?

-- The government and the CDC (you say innocently). My BMI is 23. And normal is 18.5 – 24.9.

(will make them think about their own BMI and weight).

I think BMI argument is a great "defence" because it takes the perception element out of it.