When you see friends under eating...

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CakeFit21
CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
What should you do when you see MFPeeps under eating, coming in under 1200 by, say, more than 150- 200 calories all the time? By all the time I mean, almost every day. On top of that adding serious calorie burning exercise,(at LEAST 500 cals)? Do we wait until they complain about not losing weight, or bring it up before hand?

I was a person who, for months, could not get it through my head that I had to eat more to lose weight. I would cry over the scale and kill myself with more exercise and feel like some kind of alien when everyone else was having success. I don't want others to go through this, HOWEVER, I know it can be a really hard thing for people to accept. So, what should I do?
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Replies

  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    To be honest, I think there is enough info on here for everyone to know it's not good to go under 1200. If someone is taking no notice of the MFP phylosphy, I'd say they are doing so on purpose.

    Unless you think they are new and dont know any better?

    I suppose you could always pose the question : "you know MFP recommend a minimum of 1200, don't you?"

    And then take it from there?

    good luck :flowerforyou:
  • LOVINMYSELFISIMPORTANT
    LOVINMYSELFISIMPORTANT Posts: 63
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    I eat 1000 calories a day and leave 200 extra calories just in case I dont add my stuff right or something and I loose weight. I have lost 2lbs a week In 5 weeks
  • LOVINMYSELFISIMPORTANT
    LOVINMYSELFISIMPORTANT Posts: 63
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    plus I take vitamins just In case I dont get nutrician that I need
  • MamaBudda
    MamaBudda Posts: 20
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    I am one of those that under eat not because, I am worried about over eating but because, to put as many calories as it tells me I can have I would be eating non stop. The closest I come to eating as much as is said, is on the weekend when I go out to eat with my husband at The Oceans Asian Restaurant. :blushing:
  • LOVINMYSELFISIMPORTANT
    LOVINMYSELFISIMPORTANT Posts: 63
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    I agree I eat every couple of hours and I think Im healthy as a horse I have so much energy and feel great!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    I flat out tell them! I'll usually just say something like, "It's recommended that you eat at least 1200 so I'd encourage you to really eat whatever MFP is recommending for you and no less" and I tell them what I went through and for me, that was leaving 200-400 calories (sometimes base, sometimes just exercise calories) and how I didn't lose and the second I started eating my recommended and my exercise calories, I lost. I'm still that way! I have to eat all my calories or I won't lose.
  • CGerman
    CGerman Posts: 539
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    I used to comment on friends who were consistently eating below the 1200 calorie mark (sometimes seriously below) and I've had some pretty awful backlash. Since then I tend to keep that opinion to myself. The sad part of that is, some people are truly open to suggestions on how to improve their diet - but since I can't tell that (unless they've asked obviously) I just have to bite my tongue.
  • KarenBorter
    KarenBorter Posts: 1,157 Member
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    The 1200 calorie limit is for women. There is a general 1500 calorie limit for men. This is a guideline but it's pretty widely shared. This is the MINIMUM needed by our bodies to maintain healthy organs and to maintain muscle. If you go under those amounts you risk health risks. If you are under a doctors care and they say 1200 calories is too much and you need less to survive then by all means go with it, but frankly, I would starve at less then that.

    Karin, I sometimes send someone a private note usually entitled "unsolicited advise" and kinda kid around about it while letting them know I am concerned.

    It's tough, as they say mileage may vary and everyone has their own mind made up about how to lose weight. I personally dont' know how someone can sustain for a very long time with under 1200 calories and no exercise. and if they ARE exercising and still only eating less then 1200 calories they are losing muscle not fat ... so they will see the weight drop off faster then say "see?! I told you MY way works". You can only do so much ;)

    Thanks for the add request btw!
  • dragonfly__
    dragonfly__ Posts: 172 Member
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    I am not a "chronic under eater" but I do certainly dip low on occasion and infact do strive to stay below the 1200. I think you shouldn't point it out unless they first mention something such as not losing, feeling dizzy, or being hungry all the time. I think bringing it up unsolicited could cause people to become defensive.
  • TXmama
    TXmama Posts: 37
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    It's a really tough concept, psychologically, and I think most of us who have dieted for YEARS will resist it no matter how many times we hear it (I've been guilty of it myself sometimes even though I DO know better!!!) so I think, honestly, telling them (gently) is fine but I doubt it will do any good. It is one of those things that people will need to come to on their own, one of those "aha!" realizations that people, unfortunately, have to just experience for themselves. BUT, I don't think there is any harm in prodding in the right direction!
  • KarenBorter
    KarenBorter Posts: 1,157 Member
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    I used to comment on friends who were consistently eating below the 1200 calorie mark (sometimes seriously below) and I've had some pretty awful backlash. Since then I tend to keep that opinion to myself. The sad part of that is, some people are truly open to suggestions on how to improve their diet - but since I can't tell that (unless they've asked obviously) I just have to bite my tongue.

    If people are consistently under I will send them a private note (as said above) otherwise I just don't say anything ... I posted a blog today about this very subject
  • Natural
    Natural Posts: 461 Member
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    i probably wouldn't say anything unless they asked. i assume people "know" what they are doing. heck even MFP says if we're eating too few calories if we're under by a lot when we click complete diary. after a few months, when they ask how come i'm not losing weight, that might be a better time to look at their diary and offer a suggestion. unless someone asks, i personally would leave them be.

    ps - but i do tell my coworker she is NOT eating enough and runs 3.3 miles almost every day. people i know, i'll speak up.
  • boogie17
    boogie17 Posts: 103 Member
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    I eat 1000 calories a day and leave 200 extra calories just in case I dont add my stuff right or something and I loose weight. I have lost 2lbs a week In 5 weeks

    i'm the same as you..only differnce is my dr. has me on a 1000 calorie diet. i've been on it since may. but really never paid attention as much til now. there are day's when i eat over the 1000 calories, or eat 900 a day. but i'm fine with that and exercising. it all depends on who the person is and how they are. but i think i'm fine cuz, my dr. gave it to me..and i check in with her once a month.
  • 6Janelle13
    6Janelle13 Posts: 353 Member
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    i am one of those constantly under even when i don't try. but i think for some it may be what they are tracking. i see sugars, sodium, fat, carbs, protein and total calories. often i run into the one set is too high but the others are so low. i'm still learning how to balance it and some days i can't.
  • Dtrmnd1
    Dtrmnd1 Posts: 72 Member
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    I have NO idea how people don't eat all their 1200 cals! I guess Im just a girl who actually enjoys food! :wink:
    If you know them personally not just on MFP mention it, otherwise I think your post will serve sufficient. They know enough to know what they are/not doing.
  • gupton11
    gupton11 Posts: 80
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    You can maintain your muscle mass on as little as 800 calories a day as long as you are resistance training. Not that I am advocating anorexia.

    http://fitnessblackbook.com/dieting_for_fat_loss/maintain-muscle-mass-on-800-calories-per-day/

    I personally use short 24 hour fast a couple times a week and on those days I only eat 4-6 hundred calories, and every other day of the week I tend to eat between 1200-1600 with the exception of one day on the weekend when I might hit 1800-2000. I also workout 1.5-3 hours 6 days a week.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    Thanks guys, I'm just not going to say anything... for now. BUT if I see them asking why they haven't lost weight i will speak up. It is such a personal thing! I don't want to offend and there really is enough stuff on this site for people to figure it out. I just wonder if some folks just have tunnel vision when it comes to this stuff. We get caught up in what we always thought we knew about weight loss.
  • KarenBorter
    KarenBorter Posts: 1,157 Member
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    For those of you who read my blog I revised to read "Under their BMR" rather then under 1200 ... since everyone is different.
  • PatriciaO
    PatriciaO Posts: 24
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    Sometimes I think we focus so much on staying within our calories we may not notice we are not eating enough. I want to know if someone sees I"m missing something. A lot of work goes into staying on the program. :smooched:
  • PatriciaO
    PatriciaO Posts: 24
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    I would gladly post my dairy if I can figure out how.

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